Preference: Your First Argument
Warnings: swearing (only one swear) and angst
I don’t know how I feel about this preference.
-Kiera
Justin Foley:
Tears of frustration escaped my eyes. How could Justin just leave like that? My mind was like a prison in this very moment, memories of the venom dripping from his voice and the sheer look of aversion for the very conversation contorted his once striking features into a hostile stranger.
“Seriously (Y/N)? I thought I told you to drop it! How could you just ignore me when I told you I didn’t want to talk about it?” His voice slightly cracked with a tone of exasperation hidden beneath.
“Justin, how do you expect me to drop it when clearly you have been icing me out? Is this about Jessica? If you think I care about you hanging out with her... I don’t!” I struggled to find a way to put my jumbled-up thoughts and feeling into words that he would understand.
“Maybe I’m distancing myself because I’m sick of you being clingy and you not having a social life aside from our relationship!” All of a sudden Justin froze realising what he had said. He knew there was no taking that back.
I crumpled in on myself, letting my defences down. A tear rolled down my cheek, and once that one had rolled free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream.
“Maybe Justin, the reason I don’t have as many friends as you is because I choose to surround myself with people who understand me and don’t get me involved in shit that makes other people feel trapped!” The animosity seeped through my voice like sap from a freshly cut branch. “If you don’t have the common decency to listen to me when I express the fact that I’m upset and confused as to why you’re ignoring me and being passive aggressive, then you can...” I fought back the urge to add in curse words. “You can... leave! Get out Justin, and don’t come back until you’ve finally decided to become as invested as me in this relationship!”
I turned my back to him, waiting for the slamming of the door to greet my ears. Once it did, I collapsed on the floor and finally allowed my sobs to wrack my body.
Alex Standall:
“I just don’t understand why you still hang out with them if you’re unimpressed with their actions, Alex!” This was the tenth time I had had this discussion with him.
“Because if I suddenly just stopped hanging out with them, they would know something was up. We’ve been over this (Y/N)! Can we please just talk about something else? How did that huge Biology exam that you were stressing over go?” His excuse didn’t deter me from getting an actual answer from him. He was hiding something, I just know it!
“Stop trying to change the subject! I want a real reason from you that explains why you’re still hanging with them when clearly It’s making you miserable!” I vociferated.
“If I don’t want to give you an explanation, I shouldn’t have to, (Y/N). Stop trying to make me talk about this. Please.” He sat down on the couch and continued to play video games.
I huffed and plopped down beside him. Maybe, he was right and I should just give it a rest.
“I’m going to drop it for now, but I still want to know why,” I mumbled, determined to get the last word.
Alex seemed to acknowledge this, and just simply nodded. He knew this was far from over.
Zach Dempsey:
“Did you seriously do that to her?” A horrified expression graced my features.
“(Y/N), I didn’t mean for it to go that far! I just wanted her to understand how hurt I was when she turned me down!”
I couldn’t believe he just said that. All I could see was Hannah’s despondent expression flash across my mind, slowly engraining itself into my memory. This didn’t seem to be something Zach was truly capable of. And yet, here we are, standing in the middle of my living room, preparing for an argument that was bound to turn ugly and hurtful right before our very eyes.
“That is the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth! This doesn’t even seem like a thing you would do, Zach! I can’t even look at you without becoming offended for her on her behalf!” The disgust oozed from my voice. Good, I thought. Maybe now he'll realise he could have potentially destroyed Hannah.
“Please (Y/N), don’t make me feel worse than I already feel! It’s too late, I can’t take back what I did.” He looked like he was in despair. It was the kind of look a mother would give her child one last time before they’re torn from her loving embrace.
“I can’t listen to this right now, Zach. Fix this before there are any drastic consequences or I have to step in and fix it!” I gathered my bag and jacket, heading straight for the door.
Clay Jensen:
I looked towards Clay, trying to figure out how this happened. How could I have possibly gotten myself into this mess?
“Could you stop staring at me (Y/N)? I can’t concentrate if you keep looking at me like that.” The irritation slightly showed.
“Sorry. It’s just... I need to know something, Clay. Do you miss her?” All of my insecurities bubbled up to the surface, I needed to know this answer with all of my being.
“What? Miss who?” An expression of confusion overtook his face.
“Hannah. Do you miss Hannah?” I questioned more firmly.
“Why do you want to know?”
“I need to know if you’re one hundred percent committed to this relationship.” My eyes fleeted towards the ground, my shoes had suddenly become more interesting.
“Of course I’m committed! Why would even have the slightest bit of doubt in your mind that I’m not?” He looked bewildered.
“Maybe it’s because of the look in your eye when someone mentions her name? Or maybe it’s because if the way all of the happiness in drained out of you when someone tells a story about her!” I stood up and began pacing. “You’re not over her!”
Unwanted thoughts and images began to fill my head, as I waited for him to deny it all. A minute later, silence still settled over the room like a heavy blanket.
“I can’t ever be like her,” I whispered as tears bubbled in my eyes.
