13millyon

#first #selfie in #months #curly #hair #december (at Dingwall)

Plank 1/2 mins/Scissors 6x12 18:50

Above is the thought that is repeated over and over in my head. either a piece of me or god knows what but I can't shake the feeling I've lost something, something that means something. Lately it seems 1 minute things seems fine then boom the thoughts come back, a part of me thinks they are connected but I can't be sure. It feels like I'm waiting for the inevitable and untill then I will be aimlessly wandering, searching for this shard I need.

I am loosing all pleasure from things I normally do, video games etc. Things just get duller and duller.

#emilaurion #ps4 #account #happy #gaymer #gamer #fallout4

Been a while since my last entry and if I'm being honest I've been meaning to write again, but I guess I was hoping if I ignored it things would get better, well hey I was wrong

... Is it that hard just to fit in for once

Just ordered some things from that wish app so excited to get them. Shoes trousers and top woop woop.

It's so weird some days I can be gloomy for hours on end and then on the flip side I can feel fine for days and not realise it. It's strange but I really don't like the inconsistency of it either up or down, I'm no yo-yo.

So lately I have been extremely irritable and the smallest issues feel like they are stories high, this just makes me wanna hide away from people so I don't have this issue. It's a vicious cycle and I'm kinda on edge because if it continues I don't know what I'll do. It's a constant 1 step forward 3 steps back. It would be easier if I could just turn around and walk backwards to the destination.

So my sleeping pattern is getting back to normal but these nightmares are getting more intense and darker as It goes on, something is clearly up here, some one needs to go catch the darkrai that's following me lol.

So even though last night was rough with waking up multiple times from nightmares its the longest amount of sleep I have been able to get and now I feel a lot better than I have the past few weeks, I think the fact I'm seeing some people who are dear to me has helped puck my mood up, Catch guys

So on top of the lack of sleep I'm now getting nightmares, starts off all happy and then drops in to a dark place. Well I got to shoot a gun but didn't kill any of those damned zombies. I can't remember how it ended however some one close to the dream me died I think. I don't like this feeling at all. Night guys.

The angels have returned