Summary: After a traumatic event happens to you, your almost 2 year relationship with Jack Abbott hits a wall. What will it take to bring you two back together again?
Warnings: Established relationship, implied age gap, topic of sexual assault, trauma, mental health struggles, strong language, mostly fluff.
This is a sequel to Look Out For Her (highly suggest reading that first so this story makes sense)
As much as you found comfort lying in Jack’s arms after the night you had, nothing could keep your mind at ease. You managed to sleep for a couple hours thankfully. When you woke up around 7AM he was still asleep and had his top arm around you but managed to pull his arm out from under you without disturbing you. As much as you loved this man to death, you felt suffocated under the weight of his arm. You thought to yourself if he could move his arm without waking you up, you were sure you could move his without waking him up. And you were right.
You grabbed a fresh set of clothes so you could go take a shower. And what better clothes to grab than his. Snuck out of the bedroom, making sure to close the door behind you so he didn’t hear you, and went into the bathroom.
Your eyes were puffy from all the crying just a couple hours earlier. For a second, you forgot that your hand was broken as you leaned against the bathroom sink. The pain went shot all the way up your arm. You almost yelled but then remembered Jack was still asleep.
You walked out of the bathroom wearing basically all his clothes. His boxers, t-shirt, even his socks.
The sun was already coming out so you decided to open the shades and sit on the couch closest to the window. Across from you, thrown over the kitchen bar stool was his Beers of the Burgh sweater that you had on only a couple hours ago. The sweater that the man slid his hands in to grab your waist. Under the sweater was the hospital belongings bag with your other clothes, the red dress and black heels.
A sense of overwhelming guilt hit you. Why did you wear that dress? Jack picked it out for you. You were supposed to be wearing it for him, not for strangers at a bar. Why didn’t you hit him sooner? Yell for help sooner? You could’ve stopped it earlier but, you didn’t. And you didn’t understand why.
You heard the floorboards in the hallway creaking. He was awake.
“He’s, how long have you been out here?”
You wiped your eyes, not even realizing that you had fallen asleep. “Um I- I don’t know.”
“You’re wearing my clothes.”
“Oh yeah”, you looked down at yourself, “sorry they’re just comfier I guess.”
You hadn’t looked at him since he walked over to the living room.
He leaned his head down to get a better look at you. “You alright? Wanna talk now maybe?”
“Yeah I’m fine. Think I just need to relax today, hands really bothering me.”
You ignored his second question. He definitely noticed.
“Do you want to go to the police station today?”
Shit. You forgot you had to do that. Was just hoping he’d have charges pressed against him without you having to speak about what happened again.
“Uh yea- yeah, don’t really think I have a choice. Should probably just go now and get it over with.” You shook your head and looked up at him.
He looked sad. Almost like he was disappointed in himself for what had happened to you.
“No, Jack it’s okay, I can go by myself.”
“I wasn’t asking.” He shook his head at your. “You’re not going alone.”
“You’re not going to take no for an answer are you?”
“No, I’m not. Lets go. We’ll get you some food after.”
You walked into the bedroom together.
“What does someone even where to the police station?”
“Um, well it’s warm out but windy. You can take my sweater that on the chair out there if you want?”
“The sweater I had on yesterday Jack? Really?”
“Sorry. I forgot. What do you want me to do with the stuff in the bag?”
“I don’t know just shove it all in the back of the closet or something.”
And that’s exactly what he did.
It felt like you were in the police station forever. It was only an hour. On the way out, you felt off. Couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. Definitely not the hand.
Your heart began to beat faster. You felt sweaty, mouth watering.
You two walked down the steps of the police station and you had a slight wobble in your step.
“Jack I- I don’t feel good.”
He didn’t finish his finish before you ran over to the bushes. You threw up right there.
You were breathing deeply. Fast.
“Fu- fuck. Fuck.” You put your head into your hair grabbing your hair.
“Shit! Are you okay?” He put his head on your lower back.
He stepped back and put both hands up.
“No sorry, sorry. It’s not you, it’s just- I don’t know. It’s like I can still feel his hands on me. I don’t know. I know it’s stupid but I- I”
“Babygirl, it’s not stupid. Something awful happened to know. Nobody expects you to be okay. You’re allowed to fall apart. I’ll be right here to pick you back up.”
You smiled softly at him.
“Come on, let’s go home and get you some food.”
Jack stopped by your favorite diner on the way home to pick you both up breakfast and while he was inside, you decided to call Langdon.
“Hey kid, been waiting to hear from you. Did you go to the police station yet?”
“Yeah I’m actually heading home from there now.”
“Uh yeah, he’s in the diner right now actually picking us up some food. Just don’t think I wanna be around people right now.”
“I don’t know maybe, maybe not, I- I don’t know. I know that he’s blaming himself for this and maybe I blame him a little for it too. I- I know I shouldn’t but if he didn’t lose his shit over the possibility of me leaving, I wouldn’t have left last night. None of this would be happening. So I don’t know what’s gonna happen with us.”
“Did you talk to him about any of it yet?”
“I don’t know if I can. He knows what happened and that’s basically it. None of what’s running through my head though.”
“Well maybe it’s worth a seat down conversation. He actually just called me right before you did.”
“He called you while he was in the diner didn’t he? So you already knew that he was with me.”
“Uh yeah- yeah I did. He just wanted me to check up on you. He knows you’re gonna try to play the tough guy in front of him and not tell him everything. Told him I’d try to knock some sense into you.”
“Not sure anyone can knock any sense into me right about now.”
“If anyone’s gonna help you through this it’s going to be him. You guys are basically the Pittsburgh Trauma power couple. Basically the real life version of Meredith and Derek.”
You smiled and let out a little laugh. The first time you had smiled since before it happened.
“Alright, take care of yourself kid. And take care of that hand. You’re gonna need it when you become an attending here.”
Shit. Forgot your interview for the attending position is next week.
“Talk to you soon.” And you hung up the phone
And with perfect timing he was walking to the car with the food.
“Alrighty, let’s get my girl home.” He leaned in to kiss you.
You pulled away quick. It lasted less than a second. It was different. You didn’t know how but it didn’t feel the same. And you could see on his face that he felt the same.
Once you got home, you went straight to the bathroom to freshen up and put his clothes back on.
As soon as you walked into the kitchen, you saw that he had set out the food already.
“They had that cheesecake you love, it’s in the fridge if you want some later.”
“I don’t really know if I have the appetite for all of this right now.”
“That’s okay, could eat the rest of it later if you want?”
You barely touched any of your food despite it being your favorite. Jack noticed but, didn’t say anything about it.
There wasn’t much conversation for the rest of the day until you were getting ready for bed.
Jack walked into the bedroom. “Hey so I’m going to be home with you the rest of the week.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“Yeah I knew you wouldn’t ask but, I don’t really think you should be alone right now so I talked to Robby and got some time off.”
“What else did you tell him?”
“He just knows about the hand. Nothing else. Told him that you would call him when you’re ready.”
You didn’t say anything, just crawled into bed.
“Look I’m just trying to help you out here.”
“Well you weren’t there to help me when I really needed it so what’s the point now Jack?” You got into bed facing away from him and pulled the covers over your shoulder.
He let out a sigh and he shook his head.
“Think I’m just going to sleep on the couch tonight.”
You could here it in his voice. What did you just do?
You went in person the next day to talk to Robby in person early before Jack woke up. He stayed on the couch the entire night. You told Robby most of the story.
“So you sure you want to push the interview back? We could just do it right now if you wanted?”
“This isn’t exactly how I planned on interviewing for an attending job here Robby.”
“Well if I’m being honest with you, you don’t need to interview. The job is yours if you want it.”
“Wait, what?” Your jaw was on the floor.
“I’ve seen you grow into an amazing doctor here. Your not the same person you were when you walked through those doors as a med student and I think that’s for the best. The way you treat your patients, the way you teach the newer residents, you’re always trying to learn something new. This things can’t be taught. It what we need around here.”
“Robby I- I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Think about it. Talk to Jack about it. Let me know. Whatever you decide we’ll all be here to support you.
“Not sure he wants to talk to me right about now.”
“If I know anything about him, it’s that all he wants to do is talk to you.”
You went back to work two weeks after it happened. One week after Robby offered you the attending position. Jack still didn’t know. He just thought you pushed the interview but, didn’t ask to when.
You started back on nights with Jack. Robby offered to let you do days for the last 2 and a half months of residency but, you just wanted things to go back to normal. So you kept the same schedule and went right back to being chief resident. Things were awkward between you two at home but, at work you managed to keep it civil and everyone thought you two were fine but, truth is you were far from it.
Jack and you had been carpooling to and from work and you typically had to wait for him. Today he was taking longer than usual.
“I’m sure you guys will be fine.” Said Robby.
“I don’t think we will. She won’t even talk to me. We’ve had maybe 5 conversations since it happened. She blames me for what happened to her.”
“You just have to give her more time Abbott. This isn’t going to be a quick fix. Her hand is still shattered. She cancelled all her interviews. You can’t expect her to be okay with everything going on.”
“Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean she cancelled her interviews? What about the interview here?”
“So I’d be right in assuming she never told you?”
Abbott shook his head. “I’m in the dark here man.”
“She already had her interview. She took the job here. She told me last week. She said she talked to you though.”
He put his head in his hands. “She just doesn’t trust me anymore.”
There was a pause, “I don’t know I- I guess I should return it then.”
“You bought the ring already, didn’t you?”
“Bought it 2 months ago the day after we walked past that jewelry shop and she dragged me inside to look at them. Figured her looking at them with me meant she was ready for the next step but, I don’t know anymore.”
“You guys have already been through so much together, you can’t give up on her now.”
“I just thought we’d be in a better place by now.”
“When were you planning on doing it?”
“Once she finished residency. Once she got the job here. I wanted to step into the next part of our lives together. Watching her career take off as we start planning a wedding. Looking at houses with spare bedrooms for a future kids. Start thinking of baby names. I’m ready for the whole thing with her Robby but- but I don’t think we’re going to make it that far anymore.”
“Does she now you’re planning all of this?”
“She called me the night it happened. Right before it happened. Left me a voicemail that she was sorry and loved me. I tried to call her back. It went straight to voicemail, told her all of it, that she’s it for me. I was leaving that voicemail as it was happening to her,” his voice cracked, tears started to fill his eyes, “I couldn’t help her.”
Robby put his arm around him.
“None of this is your fault and it’s definitely not hers either. You need to sit down and tell her all of this before it’s too late.”
Down the hall, Landon saw you waiting.
“Damn kid, why are you still here?”
“You haven’t seen Jack around have you?”
“Yeah, he’s in Robby’s office. Want me to go get him?”
You walked down the hallway with your bags. You’d been waiting over half an hour for him. And you were pissed.
You opened the office door without knocking. “Hey boys, I’d like to go home if that okay- oh shit, sorry didn’t mean to disturb you guys.”
You didn’t expect to see Jack standing there on the verge of tears with Robby comforting him.
He reached into his pockets and pulled out his car keys. “Here. I’ll be right there.”
You took the keys and left.
“Just talk to her Jack. The only way out is through brother.”
You waited outside for him, standing against the hood of his car.
He finally came outside. His eyes were red. He was crying. In the 4 years of knowing him and almost 2 years of dating him, you’d only seen him cry once after losing a patient.
He walked up to the drivers side door and tried to open it.
“Can you unlock the car please?”
“No, I want to talk about that was in there?”
He took a deep breath, “We were talking about you. That what you want to hear?”
“What’d I do this time?” You glanced over at him.
“Think it’s more of what you’re not doing. You can talk to me you know? I’m just here to help you. Please let me help you.” He pleaded.
“I’m fine.” You looked down at the ground.
He walked over and stood directly in front of you. You took a slight step back without realizing it.
“I can’t even get within 2 feet of you completely losing it. We’ve kissed once in 2 weeks. You won’t let me touch you. At all. Were you going to tell me you took the job here?”
“I don’t want to talk about this now.”
“Okay so if not now then when? You wanted to talk remember? We’ve been together for almost 2 years. You’re really going to push me away now? After everything that’s happened”
“Jack I- I’m not trying to push you away, I just- You have an out with you want it.”
“What the hell are you talking about?
“I won’t blame you if you want to leave me. I’m not okay, and- and I probably won’t be for awhile and I don’t expect you to just sit around and wait for me.”
You turned to walk around and get into the car. He grabbed your arm to stop you.
“Jack, just let me go please. You have to be the one to end this. Please. I can’t be the one to leave.”
“No, fuck no, I’m in this. I can’t leave you. I’m never going to leave you. Just- just please trust me. I’m here for you, I’m here with you.”
“You deserve better Jack.”
“Ple- please talk to someone. You need help that I can’t give you anymore. Please.”
And with that you fell into his arms.
One and a Half Months After
After your talk in the hospital parking lot, you agreed to start going to therapy. Which, much to your surprise, was actually helping.
Jack went on Tuesday and Thursday in the morning to his sessions and you went to yours. You’d meet up afterwards for breakfast at your favorite diner to talk over coffee afterwards.
The first few sessions were rough. You struggled to open up but, once you did, you realized just how much trauma you’d accrued these past 4 years.
“Hey babygirl, how’d it go?”
“Well today we just talked about you, so that was nice.”
“Should I be scared?” He laughed.
“Um well actually she thinks that I’m scared to let you touch me because it reminds me of that night…”
Jack nearly choked on his coffee.
Coughing he said, “And do you agree with her?”
“I think so, I- I mean I’m not scared of you. Just the last person to put their hands on me changed me in ways I didn’t even know was possible. I know you aren’t him and I know that you won’t hurt me. It doesn’t make any sense and I’m sorry. If I could change it I would.
“No, I mean, I get it. You’re allowed to feel that way.”
You and Jack hadn’t had sex since before it happened. What was once an occurrence multiple, multiple times a week, was now unheard of.
Yeah it was only a month. But it was a long month for you both. Especially him and you could tell. There was a few instances were to tried to initiate something more. A couple high school like make out sessions but, you always pulled back before things got too far.
“I’m sorry Jack, I just think I need more time until we can be intimate again.”
“Did she tell you how much longer that might take?” He was laughing.
You chuckled lightly, “Wish I could tell you.”
“It’s okay, you’re worth the wait.”
Two And A Half Months After
There was 2 weeks left until you were going to just be a resident anymore. You’d be an attending running all your own cases.
4 years ago you never saw this coming. Working as An Emergency Room Physician in your dream hospital with your favorite people in the whole world.
Your hand finally healed. You were finally able to do everything pain free. Guess Jack bribing the best physical therapist in the hospital was worth it after all.
You and Jack were surprisingly better than ever. Still living together. You were going to be working night shift too once you started so you’d be seeing a lot more of each other. Which you didn’t know would be a good or bad thing. But you were hopeful.
There was still no intimacy between you two. It almost happened after you showed him the outfit you were going to wear to your residency graduation but, once again it was you the stopped it. And he was still as patient as ever.
The day of your residency graduation was finally here. You did it. You fulfilled your lifelong dream. Going to be working with some of your best friends. The best people you could have ever imagined working with.
You walked out of the bedroom wearing the outfit that Jack was ready to rip off of you the day you bought it. A long red dress.
He licked his lips as he looked you up and down.
“You look good. Like really fucking good. That’s my attending physician right there.”
He was wearing a slim fitted black suit. His shoulders. His waist. The way his silver curls shined in the light. You thought to yourself, maybe tonight is the night you can finally jump over that last hurdle in your relationship.
“You don’t look too bad yourself Dr. Abbott.”
God you could jump this man right here and now.
“You know I love it when you call me that.” He did sideways smirk that always drove you crazy. “Come on, let’s go, wanna go show you off.”
The ceremony was quick. There was only 5 in your graduating class. And everyone else was leaving the program to go somewhere else. It would just be you left here.
You took pictures and videos with everyone. They would all be leaving right away to move for their new jobs and you didn’t want to forget this moment. It was the best day you had in as long as you could remember. All your problems just melted away that day.
You may have had too much to drink throughout the day but, to be fair, so did everyone else.
“Glad she’s doing so much better.” Said Robby.
“You guys all good?” He glared over at Abbott.
“Do I want to know what that means?”
“I don’t know, are you my friend right now or her boss?”
“Well we were friends way before she came along.”
“She’s gonna kill me for telling you this,” he took a deep breath, “we haven’t had sex in three months.”
“Jesus Christ, Jack.” Robby shook his head.
“It’s not me I swear, I’ve tried, a lot actually. It’s just hasn’t happened.”
“I don’t know, maybe all this excitement and joy today will help you out.”
“God I really hope so. Not sure how much longer I can hold out.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have told me that.”
“All I know is, I’m going to marry that girl. Soon if I can help it”
The day came to an end and all you could think about was getting Jack home and ripping him out of that suit. Tonight felt like it could be the night.
Jack walked you back to the car. He opened the passengers side door for you like he always does. But before you sat down, you put your hands on his chest.
You looked up into his green eyes shining in the light from the gleaming sunset and ran your fingers through his silver hair. And kissed him. The spark was back.
Yeah kissing him always felt special. But something changed after that night 3 months ago. But it was back now.
He kissed you back. His arms now wrapped around your back pulling your bodies together. Hands wondering. You were on your toes as your mouths meet. He let out a slight moan as his tongue slid into your mouth.
After about a minute, you pulled away.
The entire drive home, he kept one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh. Nothing was said but, you could feel the excitement.
You got out of the car as quickly as you could. You normally waited for him to come and open your door for you since he would get mad if you opened it yourself but, you couldn’t wait this time around.
You were stumbling as you two walked up to your apartment. Definitely wouldn’t failed a sobriety test. And he noticed.
“You okay?” He asked as he put the key into the apartment door.
“Yeah, maybe just one too many drinks. I’m fine though, I promise.”
As soon as the apartment door was closed, you threw your body onto his.
The kiss was passionate, raw. You slid his suit jacket off and threw it onto the couch. You slipped off your heels and started to unbutton his dress shirt.
Just as you reached for his belt buckle he gently pushed your hands away.
“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted this?”
“Not like this, you’re drunk. You don’t wanna do this for yourself, you wanna do it for me.”
“No, I’m not. I want this, please.”
“You are. And that’s fine, you had a lot to celebrate today. And I want to do this. My god you have no idea how badly I want to do this but- but, no not like this.”
“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. It’s fine. Don’t worry. Think I’m just gonna go jump in the shower real quick. It’s late we should probably get some sleep.”
You didn’t sleep the entire night. Just tossed and turned.
Once the alarm clock woke you up, you just sat on the edge of the bed.
Jack rolled over and saw you sitting there.
“What happened last night Jack?”
“The part where you don’t want to have sex with me anymore.”
“You know I want to have sex with you all the time.” He laughed.
“So why didn’t you last night?”
“Cause that was all the alcohol talking. You wanna sleep with me because I want to sleep with you. Not because you want it. Not because you’re ready for it.”
“If I got up right now and tried to have sex with you, you’d stop it.”
“Yeah, because I’m not in the mood now.” You shrugged.
“You always used to be in the mood couldn’t get you off of me before,” he laughed, “you’re not ready and that’s fine. I’ll be here waiting for you. The sex is amazing, don’t get me wrong, earth shattering actually but, it’s not everything to me. It’ll happen when you’re ready. “
“What did I do to deserve you?” You laid back in the bed with him.
“And I ask myself the same thing about you everyday.”
Two Weeks As An Attending
You took no time off in between finishing residency and starting work. Graduation Thrusday and work starting Monday. Jack would be at work anyway, so you had no one to spend all that time with.
The first week was filled with paperwork and classes you didn’t even know existed. The next week you were already starting work. Meeting all the new interns, starting all your new responsibilites. Work was occupying your mind for the most part but, next week was your 2 year anniversary with Jack.
Of course he was going to plan something big and romantic, especially since you were on such good terms now. Besides the no sex part.
He forced you to go shopping a couple of days before your anniversary. You were filling a box all the things special to him. And at the bottom a photo album with all of your favorite pictures together. You figured he had to be planning something too since he was out of the house the entire day.
He was out planning with Robby.
“So you and Langdon have to go pick up the flowers.”
“I thought Collins was getting the flowers.”
“I’m just messing with you. We went over this a million times, we got this.”
“I’m planning a proposal in 4 days and you think it’s time to joke?”
“Just trying to help Abbott.” Robby laughed and put his hand on Jacks shoulder.
“You can help by making sure you get the fucking flowers on time.” Jack pulled back.
“Just trying to calm you down brother. I already told you if you want I’ll get Collins to subtly bring it up to her to see what her thought are.”
“No absolutely not. She scares easy.”
“And you don’t think this big proposal will scare her?”
“No, no it won’t. When we first started dating, she used to so me all these proposal videos, telling me what she liked and didn’t. She even has wedding ideas saved in her phone. She’ll love it, I’m sure.”
While Jack was finalizing the details of your marriage proposal, you were out buying his last gift. A new watch. He kept saying that he needed a new one and would show you which one he had his eyes on. But he always said he wanted it personalized, so that’s exactly what you did.
It was expensive. But the new salary was definitely helping. The two of your initials were engraved on the back, along with the original day you met when you were still in med school and the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.
You explained that to the jeweler who was giving you the watch when you were picking it up.
“Maybe you can add a engagement day or wedding day on there soon enough!”
“Yeah we’ll see about that I guess.” You awkwardly laughed remembering the voicemail he left you the night it happened.
As soon as you walked out of the shop, you called Langdon.
“Oh god, what happened this time?”
“What if Jack proposes on our anniversary?”
“Langdon if there’s any moment where you’re actually quiet for once, it should not be right now.”
“Sorry thought there was more to what you just said. Not sure I’m really seeing why you’re freaking out. Wouldn’t that be a good thing kid?”
“Yeah obviously it would be the best thing ever…”
“I’m sensing that there’s more on your mind.”
“Well I mean we’re obviously in a good place now it’s just that- “
“We haven’t had sex in 3 months.”
“Yeah I could’ve gone the rest of my life without knowing about your sex life.”
“You’re my best friend Langdon, I need to tell somebody about this.”
“Has anyone like tried to initiate something or?”
“Well yeah obviously, we both have. It just hasn’t worked out in our favor obviously.
“You just gotta give it some more time. You’re both probably trying to wait for the perfect moment.”
“What if the perfect moment doesn’t come?”
“It won’t. You both just have to stop overthinking everything. Trust me, I doubt that this is the end of your sex life kid.”
You finished telling Langdon about everything you bought for Jack and decided you should go home before he starts to think that you’re making a break for it before your anniversary.
All of the gifts came together the way you imagined. But his actual gift, was you. You were ready for him. You were ready to have sex with him again. You were since the night of your graduation. And you were ready to convince him too.
As you walked up to your apartment door, you could hear Jack talking to someone. It was Robby.
“Oh shit, I mean hey babygirl, didn’t know you’d be back so soon.” He walked you to you to give you a quick kiss.
“I’ve been gone since 10.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun I guess. I should probably start heading home anyway, Collins is waiting for me.”
And with that he was just you and Jack. Alone.
“So what were you guys up to?”
“Nothing just hanging out. Boring guy stuff you know.”
“You guys hang out like everyday at work. Is that not enough?”
“Guess not. Uh you wanna order some food or something?” He was speaking faster than usual.
“I don’t know, you just seem frazzled or something.”
“Nope all good over here. I think we should order some food. Maybe watch a movie or something” And he picked up his cellphone.
You just stared at him. He didn’t look up. But you watched his fingers against the screen. He wasn’t scrolling looking for somewhere to order food from. He was typing.
To Robby: She knows brother. She knows.
There was only one thought racing through your mind in that moment. Oh my god. He’s going to propose.
This one goes out to the handful of people that wanted a second part!
Obviously there has to be another part and I think we all know where that one’s heading. Or do we?Actually have plans for another 2 parts at least. The next one might be rated M for mature if you know what I mean. You'll have to wait and see.
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