V I C T O R I A

So I show up to Starbucks, where we were meeting, and I see this very hairy, very large man wearing clothes that do not fit him.

I walk over thinking, “okay, don’t judge him based off his looks, maybe he’s a good guy.” He finally notices me and just continues staring. He continues sitting down without shaking my hand or hugging me or anything of the sort and says (before even a hello), “wow, you overdressed.”

Stunned at his bluntness, I stared at him until finally he asked if I’d like to go see a movie.

On the way to the movie, I realized I forgot my wallet but eh I figured he’d probably pay. It is a date after all, right?? Wrong.

We walk up to the box office and he asks for one ticket ONE TICKET for whatever movie we were seeing. Clearly embarrassed, I turned to him, explained the situation and asked if he could buy my ticket and I’d pay him back after the movie was over. He rolls his eyes, turns to the box office woman and goes, “we’ll be right back.”

Then, he turns to me and says, “Let’s go get your wallet.”

We walk to my car and grab my wallet. I probably should’ve left at this point, but I was trying to keep an open mind.

Finally, we get into the movie theaters and he asks if I want anything from the concessions stand. I ask him for a bottle of water so naturally, he asks the worker for a CUP of water. Cup. Free.

Anyways, we get into the movie with my free cup of water and we sit down. He decides to hold my hand with his sweaty hairy hand and without previews even starting yet, puts my hand on his dick.

I immediately jump up, yell, “FAMILY EMERGENCY” and run out.

He then proceeds to text me asking if we can at least make out a bit. When I say no, he replies, “Your loss.”

Is it though? Is it really? Hahaha.

i had to reblog this because im actually pissig mysefl

Let’s take a second to compare Aladdin to The Return of Jafar: