Smella🩵

you should do a little something where he's secretly dating ryan day or one of his coaches daughters 🤭🤭

Distraction

summary: Julian sayin is the greatest quarterback in the college football nation. he’s 20 years old, his focus is on holding up an entire state on his shoulders. ohio against the world. he didn’t have time for distractions

until y/n day came to practice

notes: O-H! as a die hard bucks fan this is going to be so fun

Note2: I wrote this on my iPad so bare with me, I feel so sad for my baby after the heisman ugh

Also to all who requested him being comforted after the loss, I attempted to kill two birds with one stone here

there’s a lot on your shoulders as a 20 year old quarterback for the top college football team in the nation. not much room to be a young adult when you have so much riding on your shoulders. it was his dream, all julian sayin ever wanted was to make it big. he has the talent, the level head, the determination. he was going to do anything he could to make it to the big leagues. as a sophomore in college he was making it, he was right there on the line, no room to look behind him, nothing to hold him back.

until he met a girl. a girl who was off limits, for so many reasons. he was focused, she was focused. he was THE julian sayin, he couldn’t let a girl get in his way. on an even worse note, she was THE y/n day. the daughter of his coach. there were so many factors of why he couldn’t have her. but he wanted her so bad. he remembers the day he met her, none of those reasons he couldn’t have her mattered.

a loud college party, a big buckeyes win, week won of julian’s sophmore season. his first win as the buckeyes starter against the number 1 team, and arch manning. it was huge. the whole team was amped, they held a huge party. everyone was there, it was the beginning of the year, a big coming home party. julian sat with his football friends, laughing over the loud music. they were electric, picking guys up, keg stands, yelling, tossing random items like footballs. julian loved the action, it was exciting for him to say the least, watching his friends in there element.

not much could stop the moment, the noise, the fire. until she walked in the door. she floated, it was magical. his eyes followed her through the room and he didn’t even know her name. he felt drawn to her, the noise was muffled while his eyes glued to the girl. he watched as she connects with a group of girls, he hears some giggles and screeches, he hears her laugh. it’s a symphony to his ears. he watched her all night, he couldn’t help it. his focus was drawn to her, she was so distracting.

he waited till he saw an opening, a window where he could put the ball. that’s just what he did, he slipped behind his friends and made his way across the room, eyes never leaving her. she sat on the corner of a couch, watching the party around her. she was majestic. she took a breath, turning her head to look around the party. her eyes locked with his, there was his opening. she smiled at him when she realized he was moving towards her, he leaned against a table beside the couch and smiled. “I’m julian,” he states simply, putting his hand out to shake hers.

she chuckled, “i know” she said, taking his hand for a shake. “a hand shake is a weird way to say hi to a girl” he smiled at her response, bending down lightly to hear her. she was attempting to shout over the music “im y/n!” she says. eyes bright. touch down.his heart skipped a beat “like y/n day?” his coach. “yeah, is that a problem?” she asked, smirk on her face. yes. that was a huge problem, a huge distraction. he held his breath for a minute, looked her up and down, and let his breath out “not at all”

julian would always remember that night, it sparked something beautiful. he loved it. sneaked messages to her before practice, sneaking kisses in pockets of the shoe they wouldn’t be found. it was fun, the sneaking around. y/n loved it too. though she wanted nothing more than to take him home to her family. she thinks back to nights he would come to her apartment and hold her close to his chest, where they’d whisper and giggle about everything. in love is what it was, what it became to be.

she hated not being able to represent him at games, or hold his hand down the street. especially with the holidays coming up, all she wanted was julian by her side day in and day out. but her dad, her dad was the problem. y/n knew the focus was julian’s game, her dads coaching. It didn’t matter what side, her boyfriends or her dads, the focus was football. It hurt sometimes, during important moments, hard times when school was looming over her head, she couldn’t and wouldn’t get in the way of football. All she could do was be there, show up, and support. Every Saturday she wore her Scarlett and gray as support for her dad, and every Saturday night she handed Julian his congratulation dessert she spent all Friday night baking. It was a routine, a whole year of winning games, celebrating, sneaking around. Y/n thought it got kind of lonely sometimes, not being able to shout her love from the roof tops.

The most important game of the season was coming up, the most important game emotionally that is. The rivalry against the team up north meant differently in the day household. Coach day had only beat Michigan once in his six years, it was a matter of beating his kryptonite. It was snowing, colder than ice in the big house, our California quarterback had one job, stay cool. In his own head he was spiraling. He was scared, he has an entire states ego resting on his shoulders, which sounds stupid but this game was important to the people of Ohio, it’s never been more serious than today. It felt weird to him, searching around this stadium he knew nothing about, at a rivalry school, just to see his girlfriend before the biggest game of his college career. He walked with such a speed through the bottom level of this stadium seeping with urgency to see his girlfriend before this game. He lets out a gasp when he gets tugged aggressively into a small corner of the stadium. He stumbles into the culprit but melts when he hears the giggle of just the person he was on the move to see.

“Y/n,” he breaths out, pulling her into a hug. She can feel his muscles tense. She understands almost immediately that he is nervous. The weight of the state was heavy on his shoulders. “Julian” she smiled, kissing his lips gently. “I tried a new dessert for your victory dessert tonight, I think you’re gonna like it” he smiles, studying her face quickly. She visually watches his shoulders relax at the mention of there tradition. He kisses her head “I’m kind of nervous” he admits, not letting go of her even for a second. “I noticed, but hey,” her hand moves to his cheek with a soft smile. He knows just by looking into her eyes that everything would be okay, but he wanted to hear her say it, to hear her tell him she believed in him. “I’ve seen many quarterbacks play for my dad. And not a one of them are as level headed and game smart as you. That’s the kind of person you have to be to beat a rivalry team. How lucky are we that we have just the man at the head of our team.” The words hit him better than even the look in her eyes. He pulled her into a hug tight for the hug, he shoved his head into her shoulder and let out a long deep breath. The alarm on his watch set off, causing his shoulders to tense up all over again. Y/n stepped back and held both his hands, “I love you more than words can describe” he nodded, a smile painting across his face. “Do me proud quarterback” he kisses her lips with urgency, pulling away as he backed out of the corner “I’ll be looking for you” he blew her a kiss and disappeared off into the halls.

Pride filled her heart as she walked to her seat in the stands with her. They greeted her with plenty of excitement, knowing her secret. She laughed, huddling with them to stay warm. “How’s he doing?” One of her friends asked, concern in their faces for their starting quarterback “he’s going to do great” y/n promised, looking out onto the field. They sat front row on the visitors side, surrounded by others in Scarlett and gray. She was right, that’s exactly what he was. Great. It was the most fun to watch as the girl behind the quarterback. He never said it, but everytime he looked in the crowd, or pointed, she knew it was right to her. Every good throw, every touchdown, every winning play, it was all for her.

The night after that game was electric. They partied with friends, celebrated the breaking of a five year long curse, and sure the party was fun, but the after of the party, belonged to Julian and y/n. She layed on his chest drawing hearts against his skin as he played with her hair. He felt like a winner, with the most special girl on his chest. He loved her, his little part of the world that no one could touch. But he couldn’t help but want to see her in his number, see her cheering him on as his. He pictured the perfect off season, growing, relaxing, preparing. All with his girl by his side and he wanted people to know that. The end of the season approaching meant maybe, just maybe they could achieve that.

“Sneaking around is getting exhausting Julian” y/n sighed, looking up at him with sleepy tired eyes. He knew that, he knew how tired he was of finding all the dark places just to tell his girl he loved her. He was tired of sneaking into her dorm and leaving in the quiet of the night. He was especially tired of looking his coach in the eye everyday knowing he was sneaking around with his daughter. Not being able to tell him he wanted to marry his daughter. He also knew the severity of it, how it could throw off their whole coach quarterback relationship, how it could ruin the chances of another national championship. “I know beautiful,” he whispers, kissing her head. “I want nothing more than to be able to show everyone just how lucky I am to have you. But we have to play it safe, just until after the playoffs” y/n nodded. She knew it was what she had to do, but it didn’t make it any less heavy on her shoulders. “Just a few more weeks” she reassured herself. It angered her that she knew her father would over react, and she hated not being able to tell him. She felt awful for keeping this huge secret from him for so long. He was her dad, she wanted him to know. She wanted him to approve, to be proud of her. She knew he’d have rules, he’d have a lecture, she knew he’d have it out for Julian until he knows his intentions. She couldn’t let them butt heads right when they need to be connecting.

The moment between the couple, on the night just for them, was interrupted abruptly as both their phones lit up with a million notifications. Groans escaped the both of them. Julian grabbed the phones and handed y/n hers. Instagram flooded with messages from their personal friends, all of the same articles. “Ohio state quarterback Julian sayin spotted at the big house with coach Ryan days daughter y/n day” this was bad, really really bad. They knew the risks, they chose to sneak around anyway. Y/n sat up, sucking in her breath. Julian sits up with her, wrapping his arm around her lower back. “It’s all going to turn out just fine, no matter what coaches reaction is it’s up to me to make sure our play off outcome is the same as last year” she loved when he talked logical, optimistic, but she knew her dad would freak.

One in the morning on a Saturday night when all this chaos hit the fan, coach day called y/ns phone. “Dad, hi” she said quickly, whole letting all the air out of her chest. He didn’t sound thrilled, but that was obvious, she was just glad he didn’t start yelling. “Do you have something you need to tell me. He sounded calm, collected, if she listened close enough, he sounded hurt. “I’m sorry dad, I didn’t want to get in the way of the starts, taking Julian’s hand and glancing into his eyes. “For either of you,” coach sighs. “I’ve always taught you to be honest with people, to speak everything that is on your mind” he was stern, she listened when he spoke. “But I trust you had good intentions and a good enough reason to keep this from me” a tension lifts from her shoulders as she listens. “I did, we both did” Julian smiled at her with a proud look on his face. “I’m really not happy about this, because by the look of that picture this isn’t a new occurrence”

“After week one, we met formally at a party and it just kept going from there. I wanted to wait till after the season to tell you so it wouldn’t mess up the connection between the two of you. I know you dad, never will you approve of my relationship with one of your boys” he chuckles “because I know them! I know how I hear them talk about women, I know how I see them act in the locker room” he fought, and then paused. “But never Julian” he admitted. Y/n smiled, she knew he didn’t approve, but this was a step in the right direction

With the big ten championship coming up, it’s on to just the next win. Having a positive forward attitude was importer when leading a team. When leading a team whose coach you just pissed off to an aggressive level, that was a little different. He didn’t want to walk on egg shells, he he was relieved that he could call her his to the world now. But it didn’t change the fact that the flow of the plays were off, coach was off. He was stunting Julian’s potential, shutting him out. Julian could feel it but he couldn’t change it. When the Indiana game came upon him, he couldn’t let coach up. He did everything he could, he showed up to family dinner with flowers for u/n and her mom, he did the dishes, he treated y/n just how he did in private but could do it everywhere now. Coach wasn’t defrosting from his cold heart, his anger at them both from keeping this big important secret from him.

They couldn’t connect all night, only one touch down hit the end zone. It was a shit show, they couldn’t find a grove. As the game went on, Julian let it get to his head. No matter how many times he looked at y/n in the stands, wearing his number, screaming his name, but everytime he saw her he saw all the mistakes he was making in the eyes of her dad. He couldn’t help but feeling like he was letting her down, letting the whole state down. It was one game, and they’d still make the playoffs, but with this loss he basically sold himself the heisman and proved the fear that all this stuff with y/n was a bad idea. He’d never go back on that, he would always stand by her. But now, he had blew it all because he wasn’t careful. He could never blame that loss on his mistake to Ryan day, only his mistakes he made because he didnt keep his cool.

After the game Julian sat in the locker room with a towel on his head, he stared at the floor contemplating everything he’s worked for this season. A hand rested on his shoulder, and the weight of the bench shifted as more weight applied next to him. “Just one game saying, the playoffs are next, you can be upset but don’t let it tear you down, don’t beat yourself up over little things” coach day sat next to him as he lifted his head up. “You make my daughter happy, I can tell. I’m just a dad looking out for girl, don’t let my stubbornness push us into a zither loss” he let out a small laugh, Julian smiled. “Just keep her safe and treat her with kindness and we’re not going to have any problems” he patted him on the back and stood “thanks coach, I plan on it” with that they both left the locker room a little less tense then when they entered it

Frustrated

summary: joe burrow lost it all. again

notes: my shayla:( my heart breaks for joey so what better way to cope than angst

y/n rlly is just the entire city of cincinnati in this one (kinda chopped but we cool)

at this point it was hard for y/n to step foot near paycore stadium without fuming with anger. tears fell all down her face the second she saw joe sit on the ground, he looked toward her in the stadium with a knowing look, almost to tell her it happened again. she watched him limp to the locker room and busted out of her seat frustratingly. she marched down the stairs in anger on her way to the locker room. this entire organization had one job, protect Joe Burrow. what is it going to take for them to realize, he doesn’t have forever. her throat burned like fire as she held back tears, it’s unfair. that’s all she could think, there ruining her boy. he was worth more. he had the potential to be the great, but he had to much damn love for this city. it’s going to kill his potential. cincinnati will never forget him, but he doesn’t believe that.

y/n slammed the doors to the locker room open and marched in, joe sat with the trainers and doctors, frustration fuming from him. She went to joe first, crouching down to his level “baby are you okay?” she asks, moving his hair out of his face. “no, i’m pissed” he says honestly. “i know joey” she kissed his head and stood to look at the doctors. they explained everything about his toe, finally uttering the words “ruled out” y/ns heart almost stopped

this was joes dream. he wants to bring this city to a super bowl, but to make it he may just have to leave the city, which is something neither of them wanted to do. they loved it in cincinnati, they had a home here, they want to raise a family here. y/n sat with joe as the doctors said they’d give them a minute, she held his hand reassuringly. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me” he grumbles, pissed at his body for not being what it’s supposed to be. “it isn’t you joe” she’s honest, she will continue to be honest through this whole process to get her boyfriend some help. “they need to protect you, this organization is running you into the ground” she’s reminded, running her thumb over his hand. “i love this city as much as the next but your meant for great things joe. greater things than what they are giving you.” he nodded “this team means a lot to me”

he looked at her with so much love in his eyes, but so much hurt. she listened to him as she watched tears well in the corner of his eyes. he was realizing he had to choose. his home, or his greatness. “you know i love this city joe” y/n layed her head on his shoulder as she spoke to him. “i’ve lived right here my whole life, watched this team fail time and time again, watched paul brown grow into paycore. but joey,” he sniffled as she turned to look at him. “my greatest love story from my home town, is you. this team brought me you. and you brought this team to a super bowl, your first full season!” she’d spend a million years trying to remind him of his worth. how good he’s done this city. the city will love him forever, the team will drag him down.

she wiped his tears with her thumb, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “you’ve done all you can for this city, a small piece of my heart will always be here with this team, in this city, but a bigger part will be wherever you are” she was gentle, he was caring. he let her words sink into his heart. he felt for her, he knew how hard this was. the cincinnati bengals were the team she rooted and cheered for even before him, he knew no matter where he went he couldn’t take her love out of the city. she belonged here. they both did. “you need to demand more from them, we need to demand more from them” she begged, he nodded “i want to stay in cinci, but not without change” y/n stood with excitement, proud of him standing for his worth. “good” she pulled him into a big, warm hug.

the doctors told joe he needed surgery. y/n stood by him every second. she waited in the lobby the whole surgery, anticipating his recovery over already. it would be a long three months, but she was used to it. when his surgery subsided, y/n sped into his room. his beautiful smile when she walked into the room was all she needed to see. “you’re okay” she said it like a statement, not a question, she knew he was okay, she needed him to be okay “it was just my toe” he laughs, she shakes her head “any part of you in pain is enough for me to fight endless battles to find the cure” he smiled brighter as she walked towards him, sitting next to the wheelchair he sat in before she took him to the car. “i love being married to a writer” he says, kissing her forehead “and whys that?” she loved to indulge his gawking at her knack for words. “because you describe the way you love me so powerfully, really helps in times like this” he points to his boot, she smiles. “i’ll love you with all the power my words can carry joe”

the love the two had for eachother was catastrophic, joe would move mountains for her. he saw the work she put in to protect him, he’s not used to that. so when y/n marched into the front office, a frustrated look in her eyes, and papers in hand, joe knew they were in for a world of hurt. he hobbled behind her in his boot. the bengals had just lost three more games, joe was planning on sitting on the sidelines for thursday night, but y/n had to speak with the office. the first person she saw was zac, and stood next to zac was mike brown. joe hitched a breath, knowing nothing about this could be good. zac froze when he saw her, knowing she was pissed. “your ruining his career you know?” joe grabbed her arm gently “y/n, please” he whispers, keeping her grounded. she nodded at him, sending him a sweet smile. she was planning on being sweet and reasonable, until zac sighed “there’s nothing we can do about his injuries” maybe words do carry power. that’s all it took for y/n to snap. “don’t you dare try and tell me this is his fault, I can protect him better than that line! spend your money on protecting him instead of flashy receivers!” she said, slapping papers into mike browns chest while joe stood behind them. “i love ja’marr and tee as much as anybody, but your ONE asset to this game is him” she pointed to joe, her throat burning again. “you can have 1, you can have 5, but they don’t mean much when you can’t protect your quarterback! i don’t care who it is behind that line, your job is to protect them! your just unlucky that it’s my joe behind that line. he’s been in the league for six years and he has had FOUR healthy seasons and they wernt completely healthy!” her face was re, her heart was beating fast. joe stepped forward to grab her hand as mike fumbled with the papers.

she had written out a description of what statistically joe could do with a mediocre line, not even a perfect one. she had written pages of words explaining how joe was the greatest in the league, telling them that so many other teams would want him, need him. “i’m begging you, he fought so hard to be this great. he was benched at ohio state, he KNEW his worth and moved to LSU then went on to be completely undefeated that season and win the heisman. he knows his worth, and he is worth more than riding the bench because you can’t protect him.” she let out a breath, stepping next to joe closer, he wrapped his arm around her waist gently.

they didn’t stay long enough to see what her words did, they left. y/n held joes hand as he walked her out of the building. he sat her on a bench and placed her face in his hands. “God you are so perfect” he kissed her forehead gently and smiled. “thank you for remembering my worth, showing it to me” he said, moving her head out of her eyes. “i don’t know what i’d do without you” she stood, hugging him closely. “it’s going to get better” she whispered, looking up at him. “it’s hard now but it’s going to get better, you’re going to be great joe. better than great” he pulled her in for a big hug. “we’re going to be great”

I was wondering can I request a Colston Loveland imagine based on his winning touchdown for the bears? Reader and him are dating and she goes to the game where she witnesses it and it's just cute and good moments?

as a bengals fan: no💕

Meet Cute

Summary: Colston may have just met the love of his life?

notes: you guys are LOVING the Colston fics!!

colston is going into his sophomore year of college !

and also this is short and sweet but it’s rlly cute to me

Colston rarely found time for himself, he spent most of his time training for the college football season, he was lucky to get a week off of practice. the county he stayed in in michigan was having their county fair, how exciting!! Colston went with some of his football friends, but they all quickly split off to do things colston had no interest in. He had one attraction on the brain. The ferris wheel.

Ever since he was a kid he loved a good ferris wheel. he practically skipped into the line, it was a long line with people filing in behind him still. Colston stood tall, rocking back and forth on his feet as he waited patiently. he scanned the area, a big “NO SINGLE RIDERS” sign right infront of his face. he groaned under his breath, he was so excited to ride this damn ferris wheel. Reluctantly, Colston turned to step out of the line “excuse me?” he jumped slightly at the voice

a girl stood infront of him, her hair framed her face so beautifully, her eyes sparkled under the sun. His heart skipped a beat when she spoke “are you alone?” she asked, “yeah, i wanted to ride it bad but,” he gestured to the sign, the girl smiled “do you mind if i ride with you?” he had to hold his tounge from yelling yes in her face, smiling at the girl. “sure!” he says, allowing her to stand next to him in the line. Colston was always the confident type, he didn’t know what it was about this girl that made him so nervous.

“my names y/n” she says, the line moves forward and so do they. “i’m colston” he says, flashing her a grin. “from around here?” he asks, trying to find a way to not make the interaction awkward. “no, i’m visiting some friends” she says, only then did he take a big long look at her outfit. she wore a white skirt, with a red and white crop top. the words “Go Buckeyes” drawn on the front, he gasped, a smirk painting his face “buckeyes?” she grinned, showing off her shirt proudly “well duh, in enemy territory i had to rep” she said with a snicker, he leaned closer “wanna know something?” his voice grew lower, she nodded “I play for the wolverines” he revealed. they stepped forward in the line and y/ns jaw dropped

“i can’t be seen with you” she jokes, hand moving to her chest in shock, her smile shining bright through her her banter. the line moves more and the two follow, finding themselves climbing into the next set of seats. crammed next to eachother colston laughs nervously, y/n is still smiling. “I go to ohio state, i’m from cincinnati” she says seriously, looking out over the fair. “what’s your major?” he asks, watching her look over the fair. “journalism” she said, looking back at him.

he studied her eyes like he’d never see them again, the sun setting at such a light her eyes sparkle more than they already did. The ferris wheel rounded the top, y/n takes a breath as she looks down at the ground, Colston watches her demeanor become less confident “are you afraid of heights?” he asked gently, placing his hand on her shoulder, she nods lightly, turning back to him. “i’m traveling before going back to school conquering some fears, numbers 8 and 9, hanging out with a stranger, and heights” she said with a giggle, as the ride comes to a rickety stop as they tried to move from the top, no budge.

Being stuck with a stranger in the middle of the air was not apart of the deal, y/n froze. “you okay?” colston asks, reaching for her as if he’d save her from the heights she was facing. “yeah i’m good” she breathed slowly. “tell me more about this bucket list?” he changed the subject, making her look into his eyes again. “i’ve always been a really anxious person, i’m done living my life in fear” a smile creeped back onto her face again, showing pride in her accomplishment “i respect that” he laughs, leaning back in in seat causing it to shake, y/n shutters.

“The fix is gonna take an hour!” some riders relayed from the worker at the bottom. y/n let out a frustrated sigh, colston continued the questions. “so what are some fears you’ve conquered” he loved how she would brighten up everytime he asked a question, how she turned to him and her eyes glistened when they met his. “Airplanes, driving to another state, calling for my own appointments, and go to a function alone are some” he smiled at her rambles, the way her hands met her hair instead of clenching the bar showed her comfort level, the way she relaxed as she spoke “that’s why your here alone? exploring the world and who you are, i like that” she had such a pure soul, he thought. “why are you here alone?”

colston scooted over closer to her, she followed in suit without a word said about it. Colston looked down at an attempt to spot his friends, slowly not caring if they left without him or not. “i wanted to ride the ferris wheel, but my friends thought it was stupid” she let out a gut filled laugh, “i think it’s cute, how humans are automatically attracted to the fun and whimsical, no matter the age” she observed, colston took a breath, “the way you see the world is, so pure and beautiful” her smile reflected his compliment as the seat rocked slowly, he kept up conversation to distract her

she giggled as he asked her about her life, her dreams, her passions. He watched her speak so highly and optimistic about the world, about her home, about her travels. her eyes glistened with hope and his melted with admiration. there was no fear in her heart being stuck in the air with colston loveland. like floating in the air was okay if he was there talking to her.

her sighs of relief came just an hour after they initially stopped, colston and y/ns cart rounded safely to the bottom and y/ns feet landed on the ground again. she sighs happily “i had an amazing time, but boy did i miss the ground” she laughed as he looked into her soul. he looked at her like he was still stuck on the ferris wheel. “thank you for riding it with me,” she said softly, “thank you for helping me face my fears” he was still speechless, coming up with words to keep her next to him. but he was losing her, she was turning to leave, he was too engrossed in her beautiful eyes to spit out his words until her eyes turned away from him.

“Y/n!” he called, her eyes met his once again. “we should face more of your fears together” he offered, she paused. a beautiful smile painted over her disappointed face. she hands her phone to him, unlocked on the contact page. he smirked, taking it gently and adding his number into a phone, shooting himself a little text. he hands her back her phone and she takes it thankfully. “shoot me a text, we’ll figure something out” she says, nodding to him with a final sweet smile.

colston watched her leave, hope filling his heart as he pulled his phone out to shoot her a text “go out with me tonight” it wrote, confidence rising into his chest. he watched her stop, read the message, and turn around. she nodded to him and he practically ran to her.

House again

Summary- JJ McCarthy is a star. When his rookie year was cut short he spent a lot of time at home. the home he made with his girlfriend, his home. the injury came with a lot of emotional baggage. a lot of fighting. neither of them could take it anymore. y/n left the house, but JJ stayed. and the one thing she forgot to take, was her memory.

Note- i love these lil frat boys. this is influenced by house again by hudson westbrook bc i love angst (if we don’t know this by now)

well this Kitchen used to be a dance hall

music on and the lights off

just you, and I

The house was quiet, cold. JJ opened the door, hobbling in with his boot on his foot. frustration fuming through his head, another injury? what is wrong with me. why can’t I be what everyone thought I was going to be.

he hated a quiet house. it never used to be quiet. it was so empty, so lonely. the silence echoed through the walls. this was supposed to be his sanctuary, his home. but it was just a house. all the home left the day she walked out. The day he didn’t walk out with her. He couldn’t do the silence. A sigh left his lips as he tossed his duffle bag to the ground, walking over to the speaker that sat in the living room. He never knew that the shuffle button on his playlist would set him back six months of healing.

his back hit the couch right as the first note of their song played through the speaker, his breath stopped, his heart froze. her memory floated through the room, something shifted in JJ as he rested on the couch letting the lyrics fall into his very being.

-

his first week home was blissful, the ACL tear ruining his rookie year, but why did all that matter when he had the greatest girlfriend right by his side? he layed on the couch, ice to his leg, wrapped in a blanket all cozy. the soft music of there song floated through the living room as y/n came dancing into the living room. she came with a beautiful plate of pancakes and a cup of hot tea. she sang the song beautifully as she twirled into the room, sitting the plate and cup on the coffee table.

“Hello my JJ” she said, “how are you feeling?” JJ smiled bright, sitting up, being mindful of his injuries. “i’m feeling a bit better, thank you princess” he kissed her head as she sat next to him “anything for you Jay” she said gently, humming their song as he ate his pancakes. he felt perfect, he had everything he wanted right here. maybe it was all going to be okay.

-

used to be

perfume on your pillow

new day through the window

bringing out the blue in your eyes

used to be

four boots by the front door

but two ain’t there anymore

-

he noticed everything that was missing. Only his sneakers sat by the door, only his jacket hung on the wall. the bathroom sink counter was empty all except hand soap and one tooth brush. he sat alone on a couch that was meant for two, the walls were empty, pictures of the two of them replaced by empty space and sadness.

he stood with hesitation, a few deep breaths helped him gather his thoughts as he walked into his bedroom. black out curtains replaced the natural lighting she loved, the bed was unmade, empty. there was nothing in here for him. how was he supposed to rest here alone, he couldn’t even sleep with his head on such a cold loveless pillow.

-

and now, it’s just four empty walls

where i lay my head and get no rest at all

the porch swing don’t swing

the doorbell don’t ring

and now, it’s just wood on concrete

and numbers on a mailbox on used to be street

-

Y/n sat gracefully on the porch swing, there rottweiler indie ran through the yard chasing the football JJ threw across the yard. He makes his way to the porch swing, setting his crutches down against the fence, sitting next to his girl. Indie jumps up the stairs and launches herself into the laps of the two, somehow still careful of JJs leg, y/n laughs at her dog with a big grin, JJ groans “you are NOT a lap dog indie” he pushes her gently, but indie just lays her head in y/ns lap, JJ getting her hind end.

y/n giggles, laying her head on his shoulder, he places a kiss to her head, it really was the little moments that made the two the strongest. y/n took care of him, she made his house a home. she did all she could to make him feel warm and welcome in the home they had together. but the older they got, the less little moments they had. the less time they had for there little family.

JJ started to get better, he started to get restless. all he wanted was football. y/ns perfect family time was JJs nightmare. JJ wanted to be out on the field, he started moving before he was ready. y/n begged him to stay out, to heal, she begged for her little moments. the moments y/n sat on the porch tossing balls for indie, JJ sat upstairs watching film, stretching his legs, lifting weights. he’d be up before breakfast, go to bed after y/n did, she barely saw him and they lived in the same house.

he never noticed how much he was putting a strain on his relationship, he only noticed how much closer he got to football. when june came around, JJ sat with y/n in a doctors office, he was antsy, he was nervous. y/n knew how big a day this was for him, she sat excited as ever next to him. everything would go back to normal after JJ was ready for football. “Mr. McCarthy?” the nurse called, he stood quickly and rushed in with y/n on his tail. the doctor sat with them, JJ grabbed y/ns hand for support and tapped his foot impatiently.

“I took a look at your charts, it looks like you’re good to go back to practice” It was blissful, JJ was happy. but it didn’t go back to normal. He stayed out even later for practice, left even earlier. Then the fights started,

-

i guess you or i should’ve left when you did

the house you made a home

is now just a house

again

-

JJ sat alone in this house more times than he could count, trying to figure out why the hell he didn’t realize he was taking her for granted sooner. there was no dog to lay with him when he felt sad, no girl to hold when he didn’t want to be alone. he missed the loud barks of his dog, who left with the home that y/n took. he was so angry, with himself for hurting his girl. he was selfish. this was the girl he wanted to marry, and she was gone. All he heard when the house was quiet was the echos of y/n begging him to see her, but he didn’t listen. all he hears is the last conversation they had, the goodbye, the barking of their dog wanting to toss a ball. he heard her everywhere.

-

these days all i hear is an echo

of you sayin baby don’t go

and your goodbye.

if you, came back you’d be surprised

you wouldn’t even recognize this place

without you

what the hell did i do.

-

It had been small, something random to set off the fighting. neither of them could pin point why they fought, but they did. it could’ve been a simple request to help with the dishes, a request for take out, or maybe what movie they were to watch. it didn’t matter, the fights were bigger than whatever started them. “are you even sure why we’re fighting at this point JJ?” y/ns voice was quiet, the room was tense. JJ stood in the kitchen leaning against the counter as y/n sat in the living room with her knees to her chest. he thought for a moment, rolling his eyes “i don’t know y/n. i just know i’m tired of it” he spat “we fight like this once a day and you won’t tell me what’s been up with you” y/n stood so quick, startling indie who sat next to her on the couch “no. no we arnt doing this blaming thing” she shook her head, “it’s been weeks since we’ve talked JJ. it’s a simple hi, how was your day, then your gone again. it’s like football is the most important thing in your life” tears streamed her face, but she never raised her voice.

“Football is the most important thing in my life” he yelled. he wasn’t thinking when he yelled it, it hit y/n like a knife to the chest “wait,” he already knew the damage he had done before he had done it. y/n stood for a moment, stunned. she had spent the last week crying herself to sleep and JJ never noticed. she felt invisible, that no amount of words she screamed at him would fix them. “okay” was all she said as she called for indie “wait y/n-“ he reached for her, but she slipped past him as fast as the words slipped from his mouth “you know that’s not what i meant,” she shook her head as she packed a bag.

JJ watched as she packed his home away, as she grabbed indies leash and food. he didn’t know how to stop it, he didn’t want to beg, or to scream, he just wanted to take back everything hurtful he’s ever said. “you don’t have to leave,” he almost whispered, just wanting to hug her. she choked on all her sobs, dropping her stuff at the front door “you don’t see me JJ, you havnt seen me in months. i’m here to make sure you’ve taken your medicine, to make sure you’ve done your stretches, to hand you breakfast, lunch, and dinner. but you see the meals, you see the medicine, but you don’t see me. you don’t see her,” she points to indie who sat pretty by her leg, y/n wiped her eyes as she watched tears stream down JJs face. “your better now, you have football back. you have all you need” she said, anger and sadness pouring through her soul.

“goodbye JJ” and then she was gone. his dog was gone, his home was gone. and he didn’t chase her. but every moment moving forward he’d regret not chasing her that night. he should’ve chased her that night

-

'Cause now it's just four empty walls

Where I'll lay my head and get no rest at all

The porch swing don't swing, the doorbell don't ring

And now it's just wood on concrete

And numbers on a mailbox on Used To Be Street

I guess you were right, I should have left when you did

The house you made a home is now just a house again

-

y/ns gut wrenched at the news on her TV. JJ McCarthy injured again. she sat on her moms couch with indie, watching the latest on NFL redzone. she was terrified for him, she knew how much he must have been beating himself up. She worried he didn’t have anyone to take care of him, but quickly remembered that wasn’t all she was good for. she hated to admit it, but she missed him. it took everything in her heart not to run to him the second she felt he needed her

but he didn’t chase her

none of it mattered because he didn’t chase her.

JJ knew he was stupid, he knew not to drive in his boot, he knew not to show up to her parents house. but there he was, sitting in his car watching his dog bark at the door. He took a deep breath and hobbled his way to the front door, tears dried to his face as he watched indie sir pretty at the door. his finger pressed the doorknob and he stepped back.

the door swings open in shock as JJ is met with y/ns sister. “JJ?” she whispers, as to not alarm y/n. jj smiles “hey, i need to see y/n” his foot throbbed in pain but he ignored it, anticipation to see his girl setting in. “why?” y/ns sister whispers, knowing the two were meant for eachother they both just needed to man up. “i messed up” is all he said as y/n came up from behind her sister. “J.” she said, almost as a statement, breathing heavy as her sister stepped away. indie ran up and jumped on him, somehow being mindful of his leg

y/n looked down at his foot “you shouldn’t be on it this soon after the injury” she said. his little physical therapist, how he missed everything about her. he smiled hopefully “you knew about the injury?” she scoffed “of course i did JJ, i still support you.” she said, leaning against the doorway. “are you only here because you miss being taken care of?” she was blunt, he saw her hands shake as she talked. “i’m here because it took me losing you and football to realize when i lost football the first time i still had everything i could ever want. now that i lost both, i have nothing. i’d rather have you than no football than football and no you” he explained, indie sitting at his side listening to him talk. “our house is no home without you in it princess” he says honestly, tears welling in his eyes.

y/n sighed “i regret a lot of what i did then” she says, walking to sit on the steps, jj following in suit, indie close after. “but i have never once regret you” she admits, looking into his tear stained eyes. “i should’ve acted so different princess, i should’ve done so much better but i can’t change what i did. i can only fix it by doing better in the future, please come home with me, i miss your soft breathing in the bed and i miss your humming while we made breakfast together, i miss us” more tears fell, and y/n smiled as his cries for her. she nods her head

“okay” she says, grabbing his hand gently, he squeezed back like he’d never let go. “i want to go home” she agrees, he stands, helping her up, and holds her face in his hands, he pulls her close and the world stops when there lips meet. all was okay again

-

But now it's just four empty walls

Where I'll lay my head and get no rest at all

The porch swing don't swing, the doorbell don't ring

And now it's just wood on concrete

Numbers on a mailbox on Used To Be Street

I guess you were right, I should have left when you did

No Caller ID

Summary: 6 month since y/n and colston broke up, football is starting up again since the college football off season, colstons in the NFL this time. y/n shuts him out after the breakup

Author Notes: This is based on no caller ID megan moroney bc i enjoy angst

a cool windy autumn day sends shivers down y/ns spine in Chicago. She’s interning at a fashion company based out of Chicago, much against her fear of seeing colstons face everywhere after the draft. she takes a deep breath as she stepped out of her therapists office, bundling in her jacket. she smiles bright, boy did she love this city. y/ns apartment was down town, next to a string of bars. The girl turned onto her block, shivering at the wind.

the roars of the bar scene erupts into screams. it’s hard not to look in the direction of over fifty people screaming in a huddle. the noise surrounded a TV inside the bar, y/n peers through the window. The bears lose to the vikings, big letters on the screen, sad chicago bears fans huffing at the news. y/ns stomach churns at the constant reminder of the man she loved that wasn’t hers anymore.

she saw the tiktoks, and the instagram pages, all the women swooning over colston loveland. he could have whoever he wanted, had the whole world in his hands, he didn’t need her. she quickly passed the bars, eyes to the ground as the beard fans all flood into the street. as quickly as she could without looking like she was terrified she shuffled into her apartment building and hiked the stairs to her apartment.

it was a cozy place, nothing compared to the life she had back in michigan. but she couldn’t go back there, that state was theirs. and they wernt, “them” anymore. she shut the door with a deep breath, pressing her back to it. her mind couldn’t help but wonder who was comforting him after his first NFL loss. a little piece of her heart wishes it was her. wishes he knew she needed him just as much as he needed her. but he didn’t need her.

y/n wasn’t much for moping, she wasn’t the person who would take a day out of her life to mourn the people who grew from her. she shook it off and connected her phone to the speaker. she made sure the music was loud enough to drown out her thoughts but quiet enough to not disturb her neighbors.

this time last year, colston was at an all time high with his college career. this time last year y/n was so deeply in love it hurt. This time last year it was colston who put the music on the speaker, and colston who grabbed y/ns hands and spun her around in the kitchen of their apartment they moved into that year. and it was colston who whispered sweet nothings about their future into y/ns ears as she layed on his chest.

a day like this would come once in a blue moon. a day where y/n felt colston so heavily, almost like he was feeling it too. like he was missing her as deeply as she missed him. but her life was getting better, she was happy, her friends stopped checking in, she was stable. she couldn’t stop moving, if she did she knew she’d cry. but that wasn’t an option anymore. she ran through her apartment cleaning anything she could

a ring of a telephone echoed through the apartment, stopping y/n in her tracks. it was 1 am on a monday night. she. reached for her phone, only to be met with No caller ID. she froze, who else would be awake on a monday night, probably drunk from the sorrows of his first loss. was that all she was to him? something he couldn’t lose, not because he loved her but because he hated losing? she watched the phone ring in shock till it stopped

-

being drafted into the NFL was huge for Colston. he played hard with the intention of starting a family. but now, he’s a football star, gaining instant traction from women all over the internet. he had the world layed out in his hands, but his world was gone. he found little thrill in the game when he didn’t have her bright smiling face to play for. he’s starting to forget the reason he left her in the first place

he didn’t want to ruin her dreams. From the start of college y/n wanted to be a fashion designer. she wanted to design all sorts of clothes for brands. he wanted her to fly and succeed on her own, he wanted her to shine. but he didn’t know how much he needed her to shine till he sat on the turf of the bears stadium after his first loss, defeated. everyone was long gone now, but colston stayed.

it was a long walk home, he knew he was an idiot for leaving his car at the stadium. he needed the air. he needed the peace. he needed his girl. colston went wherever his legs decided to take him, it was well after midnight when he landed on a bench in a park somewhere. the truth is, colston hated losing. but breaking up with y/n wasn’t a loss. it was a mistake. she could have flown right by his side. but he had no idea where she even was. around 1:30, he got off the bench with a heavy heart.

he continued to walk, continued to let his legs carry him. he made it to a line of bars down a street, a weird street to be on in chicago at 2am, just bars, apartment buildings, and a drug store. He didn’t know what he was doing when he walked into one of the bars, highlights of the game on the TV, a few stragglers here and there but nothing to crowded. he sat at the bar and asked for a drink. he stared at it with sorrow eyes, never bringing the glass to his lips

“what’s got you down?” the bartender asks, like she doesn’t know exactly who just sat at her bar. colston wasn’t one to bring his problems to strangers, but his body was too tired to stop him. “I miss a girl” he said, spinning his drink in the cup. “oh? like an ex” he nodded, “like the love of my life” he sighed, pulling his phone out of his pocket and placing it on the table. “i made a mistake and left her, but by now she’s in italy living her dreams” the bartender sighs, shaking her head “have you called and asked?” colston paused, was that even an option?

the bartender laughed, pointing to his phone “call her” she said, walking away. colston stared for a minute, contemplating everything he’d ever believed in at the moment. everything except her. so he called her, at 2 am he called the girl he lost, the girl he needed. it rang, and rang, and rang, then it didn’t. he got her voicemail the first time, she had to have been asleep. just one more time, he thought, one more time and i’ll go home, he thought hard. then clicked the button again, with a deep breath

-

when the no caller ID popped up a second time, y/n let it ring until the very last minute, with a jolt of her arm she clicked the answer button and speaker, with a soft “hello?” she heard his breath hitch on the other side of the line “y/n” he said it as more of a statement than a question, like he was telling himself it was really her. obviously y/n knew who it was, she knew who it was before she even answered the phone. but she didn’t believe it. he didn’t sound drunk at all, he sounded genuine. “who is this?” she asked quietly

“it’s your cole” he didn’t know what he was doing, part of his brain pretended she was still his. but he knew he was still hers, he’d always be hers. “my cole?” she scoffed, coming out more hurtful than intended. “you havnt been my cole in half a year colston” she seethed, like she was spitting fire through the phone. “i’ll always be your cole” ella let out an angry laugh as she slid down her bedroom floor, fighting back her tears. “do you just hate losing?” she asked, setting her phone next to her

“what?” he asks, the bartender listens intently as the only entertainment at 2am is a man calling his ex. “you lose ONE game in the big leagues and all the sudden your crawling back like you had a good reason to leave in the first place” colston ran his fingers through his hair, feeling nothing but guilt. “y/n, i didn’t just lose you” he said quietly. “it took a loss to realize i needed you.” he basically begged. he heard an angry sigh on the other line

“don’t you get tired of hurting me?” that was never his intention. he’s only 21 what the hell does he know about all the fame he has in his hands. he doesn’t know what to do. “im tired of hurting me” she almost whispered. he could hear the tears falling. he heard rustling, then a door shut and more rustling. “yes y/n, i’m guilty that i hurt you in the first place, i don’t know what im doing but my heart barely beats without you” colston said, walking out of the bar to stand outside.

ella stopped dead in her tracks “cole” she whispered, looking at the front of the bar she walked past hours ago. colston turned around, there she was. his beautiful girl, the beautiful girl he’d fight for as long as it takes. he stepped towards her, reaching out to her like he’d never touch her again. “how are you here?” y/n stood frozen “i live here” she gestures to her apartment. “in chicago?” she looked at him like he was stupid “cole, what are you doing infront of my apartment?”

he had hope. he was FULL of hope. “you called me cole” he said out loud. she rolled her eyes, “my apartment?” she asked again, he explained his night, the stadium; the bar, the bartender, all of it. y/n listened

in all of her want to stand up for herself, she’d been dreaming of this day and it took everything in her not to jump in his arms. “the point is y/n, i got here for a reason. a part of town i’ve never been too, to bump into the girl i know i was meant to be with. the girl i need to apologize too. i was stupid, fuck i am stupid. you’re my everything, will be no matter what you say,” he stepped towards her, she let him. “but sunshine, i need you to know, that i made a fucking mistake, and if it takes me getting on my knees in the middle of the street and begging for you back i will” y/n let out a giggle

he wasn’t lying, right there he dropped to both knees, taking her hands gently, she let him “please y/n” she smiled, tears falling down her face “get off the ground cole” she was hysterically laughing at this point “i love you y/n” he said, standing up “say anything, please anything” he too was crying, she wiped his tears

“it’ll take everything to regain that trust back” she said, putting a hand to his cheek. “but i think the stars aligned today. i knew chicago had something for me” he smiled, his eyes sparkled in the moonlight. “it’s us sunshine, always has been” she nodded as he looked into her eyes. he pulled her in gently “can i kiss you?” he asked, blush painting his face “of course you can” he pulled her in so quickly she swears she got whiplash.