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It feels like this every time I write a fic

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A failed negotiation...
i just started playing arc raiders with my boyfriend and he goes ânow you have to learn how to actually shoot people cause maybe youâll get free ticketsâ lmao
His little wave while walking into the tunnelđ€§
I WAS HERE! he looked over right to where i was (front row) when he did the little wave he looked over right at me and i cried a little
thatâs him pregameđ
you were saying you want to write for julian sayin..
you should do a little something where he's secretly dating ryan day or one of his coaches daughters đ€đ€
Distraction
summary: Julian sayin is the greatest quarterback in the college football nation. heâs 20 years old, his focus is on holding up an entire state on his shoulders. ohio against the world. he didnât have time for distractions
until y/n day came to practice
notes: O-H! as a die hard bucks fan this is going to be so fun
Note2: I wrote this on my iPad so bare with me, I feel so sad for my baby after the heisman ugh
Also to all who requested him being comforted after the loss, I attempted to kill two birds with one stone here
thereâs a lot on your shoulders as a 20 year old quarterback for the top college football team in the nation. not much room to be a young adult when you have so much riding on your shoulders. it was his dream, all julian sayin ever wanted was to make it big. he has the talent, the level head, the determination. he was going to do anything he could to make it to the big leagues. as a sophomore in college he was making it, he was right there on the line, no room to look behind him, nothing to hold him back.
until he met a girl. a girl who was off limits, for so many reasons. he was focused, she was focused. he was THE julian sayin, he couldnât let a girl get in his way. on an even worse note, she was THE y/n day. the daughter of his coach. there were so many factors of why he couldnât have her. but he wanted her so bad. he remembers the day he met her, none of those reasons he couldnât have her mattered.
a loud college party, a big buckeyes win, week won of julianâs sophmore season. his first win as the buckeyes starter against the number 1 team, and arch manning. it was huge. the whole team was amped, they held a huge party. everyone was there, it was the beginning of the year, a big coming home party. julian sat with his football friends, laughing over the loud music. they were electric, picking guys up, keg stands, yelling, tossing random items like footballs. julian loved the action, it was exciting for him to say the least, watching his friends in there element.
not much could stop the moment, the noise, the fire. until she walked in the door. she floated, it was magical. his eyes followed her through the room and he didnât even know her name. he felt drawn to her, the noise was muffled while his eyes glued to the girl. he watched as she connects with a group of girls, he hears some giggles and screeches, he hears her laugh. itâs a symphony to his ears. he watched her all night, he couldnât help it. his focus was drawn to her, she was so distracting.
he waited till he saw an opening, a window where he could put the ball. thatâs just what he did, he slipped behind his friends and made his way across the room, eyes never leaving her. she sat on the corner of a couch, watching the party around her. she was majestic. she took a breath, turning her head to look around the party. her eyes locked with his, there was his opening. she smiled at him when she realized he was moving towards her, he leaned against a table beside the couch and smiled. âIâm julian,â he states simply, putting his hand out to shake hers.
she chuckled, âi knowâ she said, taking his hand for a shake. âa hand shake is a weird way to say hi to a girlâ he smiled at her response, bending down lightly to hear her. she was attempting to shout over the music âim y/n!â she says. eyes bright. touch down.his heart skipped a beat âlike y/n day?â his coach. âyeah, is that a problem?â she asked, smirk on her face. yes. that was a huge problem, a huge distraction. he held his breath for a minute, looked her up and down, and let his breath out ânot at allâ
julian would always remember that night, it sparked something beautiful. he loved it. sneaked messages to her before practice, sneaking kisses in pockets of the shoe they wouldnât be found. it was fun, the sneaking around. y/n loved it too. though she wanted nothing more than to take him home to her family. she thinks back to nights he would come to her apartment and hold her close to his chest, where theyâd whisper and giggle about everything. in love is what it was, what it became to be.
she hated not being able to represent him at games, or hold his hand down the street. especially with the holidays coming up, all she wanted was julian by her side day in and day out. but her dad, her dad was the problem. y/n knew the focus was julianâs game, her dads coaching. It didnât matter what side, her boyfriends or her dads, the focus was football. It hurt sometimes, during important moments, hard times when school was looming over her head, she couldnât and wouldnât get in the way of football. All she could do was be there, show up, and support. Every Saturday she wore her Scarlett and gray as support for her dad, and every Saturday night she handed Julian his congratulation dessert she spent all Friday night baking. It was a routine, a whole year of winning games, celebrating, sneaking around. Y/n thought it got kind of lonely sometimes, not being able to shout her love from the roof tops.
The most important game of the season was coming up, the most important game emotionally that is. The rivalry against the team up north meant differently in the day household. Coach day had only beat Michigan once in his six years, it was a matter of beating his kryptonite. It was snowing, colder than ice in the big house, our California quarterback had one job, stay cool. In his own head he was spiraling. He was scared, he has an entire states ego resting on his shoulders, which sounds stupid but this game was important to the people of Ohio, itâs never been more serious than today. It felt weird to him, searching around this stadium he knew nothing about, at a rivalry school, just to see his girlfriend before the biggest game of his college career. He walked with such a speed through the bottom level of this stadium seeping with urgency to see his girlfriend before this game. He lets out a gasp when he gets tugged aggressively into a small corner of the stadium. He stumbles into the culprit but melts when he hears the giggle of just the person he was on the move to see.
âY/n,â he breaths out, pulling her into a hug. She can feel his muscles tense. She understands almost immediately that he is nervous. The weight of the state was heavy on his shoulders. âJulianâ she smiled, kissing his lips gently. âI tried a new dessert for your victory dessert tonight, I think youâre gonna like itâ he smiles, studying her face quickly. She visually watches his shoulders relax at the mention of there tradition. He kisses her head âIâm kind of nervousâ he admits, not letting go of her even for a second. âI noticed, but hey,â her hand moves to his cheek with a soft smile. He knows just by looking into her eyes that everything would be okay, but he wanted to hear her say it, to hear her tell him she believed in him. âIâve seen many quarterbacks play for my dad. And not a one of them are as level headed and game smart as you. Thatâs the kind of person you have to be to beat a rivalry team. How lucky are we that we have just the man at the head of our team.â The words hit him better than even the look in her eyes. He pulled her into a hug tight for the hug, he shoved his head into her shoulder and let out a long deep breath. The alarm on his watch set off, causing his shoulders to tense up all over again. Y/n stepped back and held both his hands, âI love you more than words can describeâ he nodded, a smile painting across his face. âDo me proud quarterbackâ he kisses her lips with urgency, pulling away as he backed out of the corner âIâll be looking for youâ he blew her a kiss and disappeared off into the halls.
Pride filled her heart as she walked to her seat in the stands with her. They greeted her with plenty of excitement, knowing her secret. She laughed, huddling with them to stay warm. âHowâs he doing?â One of her friends asked, concern in their faces for their starting quarterback âheâs going to do greatâ y/n promised, looking out onto the field. They sat front row on the visitors side, surrounded by others in Scarlett and gray. She was right, thatâs exactly what he was. Great. It was the most fun to watch as the girl behind the quarterback. He never said it, but everytime he looked in the crowd, or pointed, she knew it was right to her. Every good throw, every touchdown, every winning play, it was all for her.
The night after that game was electric. They partied with friends, celebrated the breaking of a five year long curse, and sure the party was fun, but the after of the party, belonged to Julian and y/n. She layed on his chest drawing hearts against his skin as he played with her hair. He felt like a winner, with the most special girl on his chest. He loved her, his little part of the world that no one could touch. But he couldnât help but want to see her in his number, see her cheering him on as his. He pictured the perfect off season, growing, relaxing, preparing. All with his girl by his side and he wanted people to know that. The end of the season approaching meant maybe, just maybe they could achieve that.
âSneaking around is getting exhausting Julianâ y/n sighed, looking up at him with sleepy tired eyes. He knew that, he knew how tired he was of finding all the dark places just to tell his girl he loved her. He was tired of sneaking into her dorm and leaving in the quiet of the night. He was especially tired of looking his coach in the eye everyday knowing he was sneaking around with his daughter. Not being able to tell him he wanted to marry his daughter. He also knew the severity of it, how it could throw off their whole coach quarterback relationship, how it could ruin the chances of another national championship. âI know beautiful,â he whispers, kissing her head. âI want nothing more than to be able to show everyone just how lucky I am to have you. But we have to play it safe, just until after the playoffsâ y/n nodded. She knew it was what she had to do, but it didnât make it any less heavy on her shoulders. âJust a few more weeksâ she reassured herself. It angered her that she knew her father would over react, and she hated not being able to tell him. She felt awful for keeping this huge secret from him for so long. He was her dad, she wanted him to know. She wanted him to approve, to be proud of her. She knew heâd have rules, heâd have a lecture, she knew heâd have it out for Julian until he knows his intentions. She couldnât let them butt heads right when they need to be connecting.
The moment between the couple, on the night just for them, was interrupted abruptly as both their phones lit up with a million notifications. Groans escaped the both of them. Julian grabbed the phones and handed y/n hers. Instagram flooded with messages from their personal friends, all of the same articles. âOhio state quarterback Julian sayin spotted at the big house with coach Ryan days daughter y/n dayâ this was bad, really really bad. They knew the risks, they chose to sneak around anyway. Y/n sat up, sucking in her breath. Julian sits up with her, wrapping his arm around her lower back. âItâs all going to turn out just fine, no matter what coaches reaction is itâs up to me to make sure our play off outcome is the same as last yearâ she loved when he talked logical, optimistic, but she knew her dad would freak.
One in the morning on a Saturday night when all this chaos hit the fan, coach day called y/ns phone. âDad, hiâ she said quickly, whole letting all the air out of her chest. He didnât sound thrilled, but that was obvious, she was just glad he didnât start yelling. âDo you have something you need to tell me. He sounded calm, collected, if she listened close enough, he sounded hurt. âIâm sorry dad, I didnât want to get in the way of the starts, taking Julianâs hand and glancing into his eyes. âFor either of you,â coach sighs. âIâve always taught you to be honest with people, to speak everything that is on your mindâ he was stern, she listened when he spoke. âBut I trust you had good intentions and a good enough reason to keep this from meâ a tension lifts from her shoulders as she listens. âI did, we both didâ Julian smiled at her with a proud look on his face. âIâm really not happy about this, because by the look of that picture this isnât a new occurrenceâ
âAfter week one, we met formally at a party and it just kept going from there. I wanted to wait till after the season to tell you so it wouldnât mess up the connection between the two of you. I know you dad, never will you approve of my relationship with one of your boysâ he chuckles âbecause I know them! I know how I hear them talk about women, I know how I see them act in the locker roomâ he fought, and then paused. âBut never Julianâ he admitted. Y/n smiled, she knew he didnât approve, but this was a step in the right direction
With the big ten championship coming up, itâs on to just the next win. Having a positive forward attitude was importer when leading a team. When leading a team whose coach you just pissed off to an aggressive level, that was a little different. He didnât want to walk on egg shells, he he was relieved that he could call her his to the world now. But it didnât change the fact that the flow of the plays were off, coach was off. He was stunting Julianâs potential, shutting him out. Julian could feel it but he couldnât change it. When the Indiana game came upon him, he couldnât let coach up. He did everything he could, he showed up to family dinner with flowers for u/n and her mom, he did the dishes, he treated y/n just how he did in private but could do it everywhere now. Coach wasnât defrosting from his cold heart, his anger at them both from keeping this big important secret from him.
They couldnât connect all night, only one touch down hit the end zone. It was a shit show, they couldnât find a grove. As the game went on, Julian let it get to his head. No matter how many times he looked at y/n in the stands, wearing his number, screaming his name, but everytime he saw her he saw all the mistakes he was making in the eyes of her dad. He couldnât help but feeling like he was letting her down, letting the whole state down. It was one game, and theyâd still make the playoffs, but with this loss he basically sold himself the heisman and proved the fear that all this stuff with y/n was a bad idea. Heâd never go back on that, he would always stand by her. But now, he had blew it all because he wasnât careful. He could never blame that loss on his mistake to Ryan day, only his mistakes he made because he didnt keep his cool.
After the game Julian sat in the locker room with a towel on his head, he stared at the floor contemplating everything heâs worked for this season. A hand rested on his shoulder, and the weight of the bench shifted as more weight applied next to him. âJust one game saying, the playoffs are next, you can be upset but donât let it tear you down, donât beat yourself up over little thingsâ coach day sat next to him as he lifted his head up. âYou make my daughter happy, I can tell. Iâm just a dad looking out for girl, donât let my stubbornness push us into a zither lossâ he let out a small laugh, Julian smiled. âJust keep her safe and treat her with kindness and weâre not going to have any problemsâ he patted him on the back and stood âthanks coach, I plan on itâ with that they both left the locker room a little less tense then when they entered it
That night it was y/ns turn to take refuge in Julian dorm, his was bigger than hers, an apartment really. Y,n waited for him there, cooking Julianâs favorite meal as he walked through the door. He met her with a smile and a quick kiss to her lips. âHi Julianâ she smiled at him. There was a sadness to him, resting over his head as he tried to ignore it. âYou played wellâ she said, holding his face softly. âThank you, but I have to play better if we want to winâ she brought him to the kitchen to see her food. âI admire how you look forward, but stop for a second to reflect on how amazing you played to get here. You loss to an undefeated team as an undefeated team. That doesnât immediately make you the worst. I think it makes you the best for leaving room to keep on improving in your careerâ he smiled, looking at all the work she put into making his night better. âYou always know just what to say and doâ she laughed âI just know how to speak my mindâ she said, pointing to all the things her father taught her. âI love you y/n. Iâm so glad i get to see you support me on every step moving forwardâ âI love you Julian, Iâm glad I get to see you go places. Your going to soarâ
going through a slight slump rn, but that ohio state michigan game was fantastic, SO i want so badly to write for julian sayin or jeremiah smith, i just need fic ideas PLEASE I BEG

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Are you still working on the enemies to lovers for Colston?
yes! iâm currently on vacation, itâs in the works i promise!!
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Keep creating, I love you â€ïž
me and joe for halloween (this means weâre connected in some way i just canât prove it)
Frustrated
summary: joe burrow lost it all. again
notes: my shayla:( my heart breaks for joey so what better way to cope than angst
y/n rlly is just the entire city of cincinnati in this one (kinda chopped but we cool)
at this point it was hard for y/n to step foot near paycore stadium without fuming with anger. tears fell all down her face the second she saw joe sit on the ground, he looked toward her in the stadium with a knowing look, almost to tell her it happened again. she watched him limp to the locker room and busted out of her seat frustratingly. she marched down the stairs in anger on her way to the locker room. this entire organization had one job, protect Joe Burrow. what is it going to take for them to realize, he doesnât have forever. her throat burned like fire as she held back tears, itâs unfair. thatâs all she could think, there ruining her boy. he was worth more. he had the potential to be the great, but he had to much damn love for this city. itâs going to kill his potential. cincinnati will never forget him, but he doesnât believe that.
y/n slammed the doors to the locker room open and marched in, joe sat with the trainers and doctors, frustration fuming from him. She went to joe first, crouching down to his level âbaby are you okay?â she asks, moving his hair out of his face. âno, iâm pissedâ he says honestly. âi know joeyâ she kissed his head and stood to look at the doctors. they explained everything about his toe, finally uttering the words âruled outâ y/ns heart almost stopped
this was joes dream. he wants to bring this city to a super bowl, but to make it he may just have to leave the city, which is something neither of them wanted to do. they loved it in cincinnati, they had a home here, they want to raise a family here. y/n sat with joe as the doctors said theyâd give them a minute, she held his hand reassuringly. âI donât know what the hell is wrong with meâ he grumbles, pissed at his body for not being what itâs supposed to be. âit isnât you joeâ sheâs honest, she will continue to be honest through this whole process to get her boyfriend some help. âthey need to protect you, this organization is running you into the groundâ sheâs reminded, running her thumb over his hand. âi love this city as much as the next but your meant for great things joe. greater things than what they are giving you.â he nodded âthis team means a lot to meâ
he looked at her with so much love in his eyes, but so much hurt. she listened to him as she watched tears well in the corner of his eyes. he was realizing he had to choose. his home, or his greatness. âyou know i love this city joeâ y/n layed her head on his shoulder as she spoke to him. âiâve lived right here my whole life, watched this team fail time and time again, watched paul brown grow into paycore. but joey,â he sniffled as she turned to look at him. âmy greatest love story from my home town, is you. this team brought me you. and you brought this team to a super bowl, your first full season!â sheâd spend a million years trying to remind him of his worth. how good heâs done this city. the city will love him forever, the team will drag him down.
she wiped his tears with her thumb, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. âyouâve done all you can for this city, a small piece of my heart will always be here with this team, in this city, but a bigger part will be wherever you areâ she was gentle, he was caring. he let her words sink into his heart. he felt for her, he knew how hard this was. the cincinnati bengals were the team she rooted and cheered for even before him, he knew no matter where he went he couldnât take her love out of the city. she belonged here. they both did. âyou need to demand more from them, we need to demand more from themâ she begged, he nodded âi want to stay in cinci, but not without changeâ y/n stood with excitement, proud of him standing for his worth. âgoodâ she pulled him into a big, warm hug.
the doctors told joe he needed surgery. y/n stood by him every second. she waited in the lobby the whole surgery, anticipating his recovery over already. it would be a long three months, but she was used to it. when his surgery subsided, y/n sped into his room. his beautiful smile when she walked into the room was all she needed to see. âyouâre okayâ she said it like a statement, not a question, she knew he was okay, she needed him to be okay âit was just my toeâ he laughs, she shakes her head âany part of you in pain is enough for me to fight endless battles to find the cureâ he smiled brighter as she walked towards him, sitting next to the wheelchair he sat in before she took him to the car. âi love being married to a writerâ he says, kissing her forehead âand whys that?â she loved to indulge his gawking at her knack for words. âbecause you describe the way you love me so powerfully, really helps in times like thisâ he points to his boot, she smiles. âiâll love you with all the power my words can carry joeâ
the love the two had for eachother was catastrophic, joe would move mountains for her. he saw the work she put in to protect him, heâs not used to that. so when y/n marched into the front office, a frustrated look in her eyes, and papers in hand, joe knew they were in for a world of hurt. he hobbled behind her in his boot. the bengals had just lost three more games, joe was planning on sitting on the sidelines for thursday night, but y/n had to speak with the office. the first person she saw was zac, and stood next to zac was mike brown. joe hitched a breath, knowing nothing about this could be good. zac froze when he saw her, knowing she was pissed. âyour ruining his career you know?â joe grabbed her arm gently ây/n, pleaseâ he whispers, keeping her grounded. she nodded at him, sending him a sweet smile. she was planning on being sweet and reasonable, until zac sighed âthereâs nothing we can do about his injuriesâ maybe words do carry power. thatâs all it took for y/n to snap. âdonât you dare try and tell me this is his fault, I can protect him better than that line! spend your money on protecting him instead of flashy receivers!â she said, slapping papers into mike browns chest while joe stood behind them. âi love jaâmarr and tee as much as anybody, but your ONE asset to this game is himâ she pointed to joe, her throat burning again. âyou can have 1, you can have 5, but they donât mean much when you canât protect your quarterback! i donât care who it is behind that line, your job is to protect them! your just unlucky that itâs my joe behind that line. heâs been in the league for six years and he has had FOUR healthy seasons and they wernt completely healthy!â her face was re, her heart was beating fast. joe stepped forward to grab her hand as mike fumbled with the papers.
she had written out a description of what statistically joe could do with a mediocre line, not even a perfect one. she had written pages of words explaining how joe was the greatest in the league, telling them that so many other teams would want him, need him. âiâm begging you, he fought so hard to be this great. he was benched at ohio state, he KNEW his worth and moved to LSU then went on to be completely undefeated that season and win the heisman. he knows his worth, and he is worth more than riding the bench because you canât protect him.â she let out a breath, stepping next to joe closer, he wrapped his arm around her waist gently.
they didnât stay long enough to see what her words did, they left. y/n held joes hand as he walked her out of the building. he sat her on a bench and placed her face in his hands. âGod you are so perfectâ he kissed her forehead gently and smiled. âthank you for remembering my worth, showing it to meâ he said, moving her head out of her eyes. âi donât know what iâd do without youâ she stood, hugging him closely. âitâs going to get betterâ she whispered, looking up at him. âitâs hard now but itâs going to get better, youâre going to be great joe. better than greatâ he pulled her in for a big hug. âweâre going to be greatâ
the two were infinite, they were great, y/n saw joe as her beautiful unfinished symphony. she knew heâd be great, she knew heâd be magical some day. he was magical now, his light was being dimmed like an eclipse of wasted potential. as long as y/n lived sheâd make sure joe would shine.
Heyyyyyy,
I was wondering can I request a Colston Loveland imagine based on his winning touchdown for the bears? Reader and him are dating and she goes to the game where she witnesses it and it's just cute and good moments?
as a bengals fan: nođ
(iâm kidding! i need to emotionally heal from that tho)

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i have like 15 requests for a colston loveland enemies to lovers, ITS COMING I PROMISE!! just give me some time and iâll have it for youđ„°
all iâve gotta say is jaxon dart and skattebo are ELECTRIC
Meet Cute
Summary: Colston may have just met the love of his life?
notes: you guys are LOVING the Colston fics!!
colston is going into his sophomore year of college !
and also this is short and sweet but itâs rlly cute to me
Colston rarely found time for himself, he spent most of his time training for the college football season, he was lucky to get a week off of practice. the county he stayed in in michigan was having their county fair, how exciting!! Colston went with some of his football friends, but they all quickly split off to do things colston had no interest in. He had one attraction on the brain. The ferris wheel.
Ever since he was a kid he loved a good ferris wheel. he practically skipped into the line, it was a long line with people filing in behind him still. Colston stood tall, rocking back and forth on his feet as he waited patiently. he scanned the area, a big âNO SINGLE RIDERSâ sign right infront of his face. he groaned under his breath, he was so excited to ride this damn ferris wheel. Reluctantly, Colston turned to step out of the line âexcuse me?â he jumped slightly at the voice
a girl stood infront of him, her hair framed her face so beautifully, her eyes sparkled under the sun. His heart skipped a beat when she spoke âare you alone?â she asked, âyeah, i wanted to ride it bad but,â he gestured to the sign, the girl smiled âdo you mind if i ride with you?â he had to hold his tounge from yelling yes in her face, smiling at the girl. âsure!â he says, allowing her to stand next to him in the line. Colston was always the confident type, he didnât know what it was about this girl that made him so nervous.
âmy names y/nâ she says, the line moves forward and so do they. âiâm colstonâ he says, flashing her a grin. âfrom around here?â he asks, trying to find a way to not make the interaction awkward. âno, iâm visiting some friendsâ she says, only then did he take a big long look at her outfit. she wore a white skirt, with a red and white crop top. the words âGo Buckeyesâ drawn on the front, he gasped, a smirk painting his face âbuckeyes?â she grinned, showing off her shirt proudly âwell duh, in enemy territory i had to repâ she said with a snicker, he leaned closer âwanna know something?â his voice grew lower, she nodded âI play for the wolverinesâ he revealed. they stepped forward in the line and y/ns jaw dropped
âi canât be seen with youâ she jokes, hand moving to her chest in shock, her smile shining bright through her her banter. the line moves more and the two follow, finding themselves climbing into the next set of seats. crammed next to eachother colston laughs nervously, y/n is still smiling. âI go to ohio state, iâm from cincinnatiâ she says seriously, looking out over the fair. âwhatâs your major?â he asks, watching her look over the fair. âjournalismâ she said, looking back at him.
he studied her eyes like heâd never see them again, the sun setting at such a light her eyes sparkle more than they already did. The ferris wheel rounded the top, y/n takes a breath as she looks down at the ground, Colston watches her demeanor become less confident âare you afraid of heights?â he asked gently, placing his hand on her shoulder, she nods lightly, turning back to him. âiâm traveling before going back to school conquering some fears, numbers 8 and 9, hanging out with a stranger, and heightsâ she said with a giggle, as the ride comes to a rickety stop as they tried to move from the top, no budge.
Being stuck with a stranger in the middle of the air was not apart of the deal, y/n froze. âyou okay?â colston asks, reaching for her as if heâd save her from the heights she was facing. âyeah iâm goodâ she breathed slowly. âtell me more about this bucket list?â he changed the subject, making her look into his eyes again. âiâve always been a really anxious person, iâm done living my life in fearâ a smile creeped back onto her face again, showing pride in her accomplishment âi respect thatâ he laughs, leaning back in in seat causing it to shake, y/n shutters.
âThe fix is gonna take an hour!â some riders relayed from the worker at the bottom. y/n let out a frustrated sigh, colston continued the questions. âso what are some fears youâve conqueredâ he loved how she would brighten up everytime he asked a question, how she turned to him and her eyes glistened when they met his. âAirplanes, driving to another state, calling for my own appointments, and go to a function alone are someâ he smiled at her rambles, the way her hands met her hair instead of clenching the bar showed her comfort level, the way she relaxed as she spoke âthatâs why your here alone? exploring the world and who you are, i like thatâ she had such a pure soul, he thought. âwhy are you here alone?â
colston scooted over closer to her, she followed in suit without a word said about it. Colston looked down at an attempt to spot his friends, slowly not caring if they left without him or not. âi wanted to ride the ferris wheel, but my friends thought it was stupidâ she let out a gut filled laugh, âi think itâs cute, how humans are automatically attracted to the fun and whimsical, no matter the ageâ she observed, colston took a breath, âthe way you see the world is, so pure and beautifulâ her smile reflected his compliment as the seat rocked slowly, he kept up conversation to distract her
she giggled as he asked her about her life, her dreams, her passions. He watched her speak so highly and optimistic about the world, about her home, about her travels. her eyes glistened with hope and his melted with admiration. there was no fear in her heart being stuck in the air with colston loveland. like floating in the air was okay if he was there talking to her.
her sighs of relief came just an hour after they initially stopped, colston and y/ns cart rounded safely to the bottom and y/ns feet landed on the ground again. she sighs happily âi had an amazing time, but boy did i miss the groundâ she laughed as he looked into her soul. he looked at her like he was still stuck on the ferris wheel. âthank you for riding it with me,â she said softly, âthank you for helping me face my fearsâ he was still speechless, coming up with words to keep her next to him. but he was losing her, she was turning to leave, he was too engrossed in her beautiful eyes to spit out his words until her eyes turned away from him.
âY/n!â he called, her eyes met his once again. âwe should face more of your fears togetherâ he offered, she paused. a beautiful smile painted over her disappointed face. she hands her phone to him, unlocked on the contact page. he smirked, taking it gently and adding his number into a phone, shooting himself a little text. he hands her back her phone and she takes it thankfully. âshoot me a text, weâll figure something outâ she says, nodding to him with a final sweet smile.
colston watched her leave, hope filling his heart as he pulled his phone out to shoot her a text âgo out with me tonightâ it wrote, confidence rising into his chest. he watched her stop, read the message, and turn around. she nodded to him and he practically ran to her.
He had no idea what that tiny little moment with the ohio girl could do. he had no idea what simple moment with a rival of his college team could turn into. and boy did it spark into a beautiful flame.
anymore for colston? :)
Iâll write anything you want! i want to write for colston again but the idea pool is dry!! More colston coming soon! if you have specific ideas lmk
House again
Summary- JJ McCarthy is a star. When his rookie year was cut short he spent a lot of time at home. the home he made with his girlfriend, his home. the injury came with a lot of emotional baggage. a lot of fighting. neither of them could take it anymore. y/n left the house, but JJ stayed. and the one thing she forgot to take, was her memory.
Note- i love these lil frat boys. this is influenced by house again by hudson westbrook bc i love angst (if we donât know this by now)
well this Kitchen used to be a dance hall
music on and the lights off
just you, and I
The house was quiet, cold. JJ opened the door, hobbling in with his boot on his foot. frustration fuming through his head, another injury? what is wrong with me. why canât I be what everyone thought I was going to be.
he hated a quiet house. it never used to be quiet. it was so empty, so lonely. the silence echoed through the walls. this was supposed to be his sanctuary, his home. but it was just a house. all the home left the day she walked out. The day he didnât walk out with her. He couldnât do the silence. A sigh left his lips as he tossed his duffle bag to the ground, walking over to the speaker that sat in the living room. He never knew that the shuffle button on his playlist would set him back six months of healing.
his back hit the couch right as the first note of their song played through the speaker, his breath stopped, his heart froze. her memory floated through the room, something shifted in JJ as he rested on the couch letting the lyrics fall into his very being.
-
his first week home was blissful, the ACL tear ruining his rookie year, but why did all that matter when he had the greatest girlfriend right by his side? he layed on the couch, ice to his leg, wrapped in a blanket all cozy. the soft music of there song floated through the living room as y/n came dancing into the living room. she came with a beautiful plate of pancakes and a cup of hot tea. she sang the song beautifully as she twirled into the room, sitting the plate and cup on the coffee table.
âHello my JJâ she said, âhow are you feeling?â JJ smiled bright, sitting up, being mindful of his injuries. âiâm feeling a bit better, thank you princessâ he kissed her head as she sat next to him âanything for you Jayâ she said gently, humming their song as he ate his pancakes. he felt perfect, he had everything he wanted right here. maybe it was all going to be okay.
-
used to be
perfume on your pillow
new day through the window
bringing out the blue in your eyes
used to be
four boots by the front door
but two ainât there anymore
-
he noticed everything that was missing. Only his sneakers sat by the door, only his jacket hung on the wall. the bathroom sink counter was empty all except hand soap and one tooth brush. he sat alone on a couch that was meant for two, the walls were empty, pictures of the two of them replaced by empty space and sadness.
he stood with hesitation, a few deep breaths helped him gather his thoughts as he walked into his bedroom. black out curtains replaced the natural lighting she loved, the bed was unmade, empty. there was nothing in here for him. how was he supposed to rest here alone, he couldnât even sleep with his head on such a cold loveless pillow.
-
and now, itâs just four empty walls
where i lay my head and get no rest at all
the porch swing donât swing
the doorbell donât ring
and now, itâs just wood on concrete
and numbers on a mailbox on used to be street
-
Y/n sat gracefully on the porch swing, there rottweiler indie ran through the yard chasing the football JJ threw across the yard. He makes his way to the porch swing, setting his crutches down against the fence, sitting next to his girl. Indie jumps up the stairs and launches herself into the laps of the two, somehow still careful of JJs leg, y/n laughs at her dog with a big grin, JJ groans âyou are NOT a lap dog indieâ he pushes her gently, but indie just lays her head in y/ns lap, JJ getting her hind end.
y/n giggles, laying her head on his shoulder, he places a kiss to her head, it really was the little moments that made the two the strongest. y/n took care of him, she made his house a home. she did all she could to make him feel warm and welcome in the home they had together. but the older they got, the less little moments they had. the less time they had for there little family.
JJ started to get better, he started to get restless. all he wanted was football. y/ns perfect family time was JJs nightmare. JJ wanted to be out on the field, he started moving before he was ready. y/n begged him to stay out, to heal, she begged for her little moments. the moments y/n sat on the porch tossing balls for indie, JJ sat upstairs watching film, stretching his legs, lifting weights. heâd be up before breakfast, go to bed after y/n did, she barely saw him and they lived in the same house.
he never noticed how much he was putting a strain on his relationship, he only noticed how much closer he got to football. when june came around, JJ sat with y/n in a doctors office, he was antsy, he was nervous. y/n knew how big a day this was for him, she sat excited as ever next to him. everything would go back to normal after JJ was ready for football. âMr. McCarthy?â the nurse called, he stood quickly and rushed in with y/n on his tail. the doctor sat with them, JJ grabbed y/ns hand for support and tapped his foot impatiently.
âI took a look at your charts, it looks like youâre good to go back to practiceâ It was blissful, JJ was happy. but it didnât go back to normal. He stayed out even later for practice, left even earlier. Then the fights started,
-
i guess you or i shouldâve left when you did
the house you made a home
is now just a house
again
-
JJ sat alone in this house more times than he could count, trying to figure out why the hell he didnât realize he was taking her for granted sooner. there was no dog to lay with him when he felt sad, no girl to hold when he didnât want to be alone. he missed the loud barks of his dog, who left with the home that y/n took. he was so angry, with himself for hurting his girl. he was selfish. this was the girl he wanted to marry, and she was gone. All he heard when the house was quiet was the echos of y/n begging him to see her, but he didnât listen. all he hears is the last conversation they had, the goodbye, the barking of their dog wanting to toss a ball. he heard her everywhere.
-
these days all i hear is an echo
of you sayin baby donât go
and your goodbye.
if you, came back youâd be surprised
you wouldnât even recognize this place
without you
what the hell did i do.
-
It had been small, something random to set off the fighting. neither of them could pin point why they fought, but they did. it couldâve been a simple request to help with the dishes, a request for take out, or maybe what movie they were to watch. it didnât matter, the fights were bigger than whatever started them. âare you even sure why weâre fighting at this point JJ?â y/ns voice was quiet, the room was tense. JJ stood in the kitchen leaning against the counter as y/n sat in the living room with her knees to her chest. he thought for a moment, rolling his eyes âi donât know y/n. i just know iâm tired of itâ he spat âwe fight like this once a day and you wonât tell me whatâs been up with youâ y/n stood so quick, startling indie who sat next to her on the couch âno. no we arnt doing this blaming thingâ she shook her head, âitâs been weeks since weâve talked JJ. itâs a simple hi, how was your day, then your gone again. itâs like football is the most important thing in your lifeâ tears streamed her face, but she never raised her voice.
âFootball is the most important thing in my lifeâ he yelled. he wasnât thinking when he yelled it, it hit y/n like a knife to the chest âwait,â he already knew the damage he had done before he had done it. y/n stood for a moment, stunned. she had spent the last week crying herself to sleep and JJ never noticed. she felt invisible, that no amount of words she screamed at him would fix them. âokayâ was all she said as she called for indie âwait y/n-â he reached for her, but she slipped past him as fast as the words slipped from his mouth âyou know thatâs not what i meant,â she shook her head as she packed a bag.
JJ watched as she packed his home away, as she grabbed indies leash and food. he didnât know how to stop it, he didnât want to beg, or to scream, he just wanted to take back everything hurtful heâs ever said. âyou donât have to leave,â he almost whispered, just wanting to hug her. she choked on all her sobs, dropping her stuff at the front door âyou donât see me JJ, you havnt seen me in months. iâm here to make sure youâve taken your medicine, to make sure youâve done your stretches, to hand you breakfast, lunch, and dinner. but you see the meals, you see the medicine, but you donât see me. you donât see her,â she points to indie who sat pretty by her leg, y/n wiped her eyes as she watched tears stream down JJs face. âyour better now, you have football back. you have all you needâ she said, anger and sadness pouring through her soul.
âgoodbye JJâ and then she was gone. his dog was gone, his home was gone. and he didnât chase her. but every moment moving forward heâd regret not chasing her that night. he shouldâve chased her that night
-
'Cause now it's just four empty walls
Where I'll lay my head and get no rest at all
The porch swing don't swing, the doorbell don't ring
And now it's just wood on concrete
And numbers on a mailbox on Used To Be Street
I guess you were right, I should have left when you did
The house you made a home is now just a house again
-
y/ns gut wrenched at the news on her TV. JJ McCarthy injured again. she sat on her moms couch with indie, watching the latest on NFL redzone. she was terrified for him, she knew how much he must have been beating himself up. She worried he didnât have anyone to take care of him, but quickly remembered that wasnât all she was good for. she hated to admit it, but she missed him. it took everything in her heart not to run to him the second she felt he needed her
but he didnât chase her
none of it mattered because he didnât chase her.
JJ knew he was stupid, he knew not to drive in his boot, he knew not to show up to her parents house. but there he was, sitting in his car watching his dog bark at the door. He took a deep breath and hobbled his way to the front door, tears dried to his face as he watched indie sir pretty at the door. his finger pressed the doorknob and he stepped back.
the door swings open in shock as JJ is met with y/ns sister. âJJ?â she whispers, as to not alarm y/n. jj smiles âhey, i need to see y/nâ his foot throbbed in pain but he ignored it, anticipation to see his girl setting in. âwhy?â y/ns sister whispers, knowing the two were meant for eachother they both just needed to man up. âi messed upâ is all he said as y/n came up from behind her sister. âJ.â she said, almost as a statement, breathing heavy as her sister stepped away. indie ran up and jumped on him, somehow being mindful of his leg
y/n looked down at his foot âyou shouldnât be on it this soon after the injuryâ she said. his little physical therapist, how he missed everything about her. he smiled hopefully âyou knew about the injury?â she scoffed âof course i did JJ, i still support you.â she said, leaning against the doorway. âare you only here because you miss being taken care of?â she was blunt, he saw her hands shake as she talked. âiâm here because it took me losing you and football to realize when i lost football the first time i still had everything i could ever want. now that i lost both, i have nothing. iâd rather have you than no football than football and no youâ he explained, indie sitting at his side listening to him talk. âour house is no home without you in it princessâ he says honestly, tears welling in his eyes.
y/n sighed âi regret a lot of what i did thenâ she says, walking to sit on the steps, jj following in suit, indie close after. âbut i have never once regret youâ she admits, looking into his tear stained eyes. âi shouldâve acted so different princess, i shouldâve done so much better but i canât change what i did. i can only fix it by doing better in the future, please come home with me, i miss your soft breathing in the bed and i miss your humming while we made breakfast together, i miss usâ more tears fell, and y/n smiled as his cries for her. she nods her head
âokayâ she says, grabbing his hand gently, he squeezed back like heâd never let go. âi want to go homeâ she agrees, he stands, helping her up, and holds her face in his hands, he pulls her close and the world stops when there lips meet. all was okay again
-
But now it's just four empty walls
Where I'll lay my head and get no rest at all
The porch swing don't swing, the doorbell don't ring
And now it's just wood on concrete
Numbers on a mailbox on Used To Be Street
I guess you were right, I should have left when you did
The house you made a home is now just a house again

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Please please please write a Colston Loveland fanfic thatâs kinda of a smut but not heavily focused on the smut.
i donât do smut!! feel FREE to request as much as you want i love the requests i just wonât do smut! anything else is fair game đ
I LOVE YOUR WRITING FOR COLSTON!! Are you able to make more please?? đđ and also can you tag it âColston Lovelandâ and/or âColston Loveland x readerâ
No Caller ID
Summary: 6 month since y/n and colston broke up, football is starting up again since the college football off season, colstons in the NFL this time. y/n shuts him out after the breakup
Author Notes: This is based on no caller ID megan moroney bc i enjoy angst
a cool windy autumn day sends shivers down y/ns spine in Chicago. Sheâs interning at a fashion company based out of Chicago, much against her fear of seeing colstons face everywhere after the draft. she takes a deep breath as she stepped out of her therapists office, bundling in her jacket. she smiles bright, boy did she love this city. y/ns apartment was down town, next to a string of bars. The girl turned onto her block, shivering at the wind.
the roars of the bar scene erupts into screams. itâs hard not to look in the direction of over fifty people screaming in a huddle. the noise surrounded a TV inside the bar, y/n peers through the window. The bears lose to the vikings, big letters on the screen, sad chicago bears fans huffing at the news. y/ns stomach churns at the constant reminder of the man she loved that wasnât hers anymore.
she saw the tiktoks, and the instagram pages, all the women swooning over colston loveland. he could have whoever he wanted, had the whole world in his hands, he didnât need her. she quickly passed the bars, eyes to the ground as the beard fans all flood into the street. as quickly as she could without looking like she was terrified she shuffled into her apartment building and hiked the stairs to her apartment.
it was a cozy place, nothing compared to the life she had back in michigan. but she couldnât go back there, that state was theirs. and they wernt, âthemâ anymore. she shut the door with a deep breath, pressing her back to it. her mind couldnât help but wonder who was comforting him after his first NFL loss. a little piece of her heart wishes it was her. wishes he knew she needed him just as much as he needed her. but he didnât need her.
y/n wasnât much for moping, she wasnât the person who would take a day out of her life to mourn the people who grew from her. she shook it off and connected her phone to the speaker. she made sure the music was loud enough to drown out her thoughts but quiet enough to not disturb her neighbors.
this time last year, colston was at an all time high with his college career. this time last year y/n was so deeply in love it hurt. This time last year it was colston who put the music on the speaker, and colston who grabbed y/ns hands and spun her around in the kitchen of their apartment they moved into that year. and it was colston who whispered sweet nothings about their future into y/ns ears as she layed on his chest.
a day like this would come once in a blue moon. a day where y/n felt colston so heavily, almost like he was feeling it too. like he was missing her as deeply as she missed him. but her life was getting better, she was happy, her friends stopped checking in, she was stable. she couldnât stop moving, if she did she knew sheâd cry. but that wasnât an option anymore. she ran through her apartment cleaning anything she could
a ring of a telephone echoed through the apartment, stopping y/n in her tracks. it was 1 am on a monday night. she. reached for her phone, only to be met with No caller ID. she froze, who else would be awake on a monday night, probably drunk from the sorrows of his first loss. was that all she was to him? something he couldnât lose, not because he loved her but because he hated losing? she watched the phone ring in shock till it stopped
-
being drafted into the NFL was huge for Colston. he played hard with the intention of starting a family. but now, heâs a football star, gaining instant traction from women all over the internet. he had the world layed out in his hands, but his world was gone. he found little thrill in the game when he didnât have her bright smiling face to play for. heâs starting to forget the reason he left her in the first place
he didnât want to ruin her dreams. From the start of college y/n wanted to be a fashion designer. she wanted to design all sorts of clothes for brands. he wanted her to fly and succeed on her own, he wanted her to shine. but he didnât know how much he needed her to shine till he sat on the turf of the bears stadium after his first loss, defeated. everyone was long gone now, but colston stayed.
it was a long walk home, he knew he was an idiot for leaving his car at the stadium. he needed the air. he needed the peace. he needed his girl. colston went wherever his legs decided to take him, it was well after midnight when he landed on a bench in a park somewhere. the truth is, colston hated losing. but breaking up with y/n wasnât a loss. it was a mistake. she could have flown right by his side. but he had no idea where she even was. around 1:30, he got off the bench with a heavy heart.
he continued to walk, continued to let his legs carry him. he made it to a line of bars down a street, a weird street to be on in chicago at 2am, just bars, apartment buildings, and a drug store. He didnât know what he was doing when he walked into one of the bars, highlights of the game on the TV, a few stragglers here and there but nothing to crowded. he sat at the bar and asked for a drink. he stared at it with sorrow eyes, never bringing the glass to his lips
âwhatâs got you down?â the bartender asks, like she doesnât know exactly who just sat at her bar. colston wasnât one to bring his problems to strangers, but his body was too tired to stop him. âI miss a girlâ he said, spinning his drink in the cup. âoh? like an exâ he nodded, âlike the love of my lifeâ he sighed, pulling his phone out of his pocket and placing it on the table. âi made a mistake and left her, but by now sheâs in italy living her dreamsâ the bartender sighs, shaking her head âhave you called and asked?â colston paused, was that even an option?
the bartender laughed, pointing to his phone âcall herâ she said, walking away. colston stared for a minute, contemplating everything heâd ever believed in at the moment. everything except her. so he called her, at 2 am he called the girl he lost, the girl he needed. it rang, and rang, and rang, then it didnât. he got her voicemail the first time, she had to have been asleep. just one more time, he thought, one more time and iâll go home, he thought hard. then clicked the button again, with a deep breath
-
when the no caller ID popped up a second time, y/n let it ring until the very last minute, with a jolt of her arm she clicked the answer button and speaker, with a soft âhello?â she heard his breath hitch on the other side of the line ây/nâ he said it as more of a statement than a question, like he was telling himself it was really her. obviously y/n knew who it was, she knew who it was before she even answered the phone. but she didnât believe it. he didnât sound drunk at all, he sounded genuine. âwho is this?â she asked quietly
âitâs your coleâ he didnât know what he was doing, part of his brain pretended she was still his. but he knew he was still hers, heâd always be hers. âmy cole?â she scoffed, coming out more hurtful than intended. âyou havnt been my cole in half a year colstonâ she seethed, like she was spitting fire through the phone. âiâll always be your coleâ ella let out an angry laugh as she slid down her bedroom floor, fighting back her tears. âdo you just hate losing?â she asked, setting her phone next to her
âwhat?â he asks, the bartender listens intently as the only entertainment at 2am is a man calling his ex. âyou lose ONE game in the big leagues and all the sudden your crawling back like you had a good reason to leave in the first placeâ colston ran his fingers through his hair, feeling nothing but guilt. ây/n, i didnât just lose youâ he said quietly. âit took a loss to realize i needed you.â he basically begged. he heard an angry sigh on the other line
âdonât you get tired of hurting me?â that was never his intention. heâs only 21 what the hell does he know about all the fame he has in his hands. he doesnât know what to do. âim tired of hurting meâ she almost whispered. he could hear the tears falling. he heard rustling, then a door shut and more rustling. âyes y/n, iâm guilty that i hurt you in the first place, i donât know what im doing but my heart barely beats without youâ colston said, walking out of the bar to stand outside.
ella stopped dead in her tracks âcoleâ she whispered, looking at the front of the bar she walked past hours ago. colston turned around, there she was. his beautiful girl, the beautiful girl heâd fight for as long as it takes. he stepped towards her, reaching out to her like heâd never touch her again. âhow are you here?â y/n stood frozen âi live hereâ she gestures to her apartment. âin chicago?â she looked at him like he was stupid âcole, what are you doing infront of my apartment?â
he had hope. he was FULL of hope. âyou called me coleâ he said out loud. she rolled her eyes, âmy apartment?â she asked again, he explained his night, the stadium; the bar, the bartender, all of it. y/n listened
in all of her want to stand up for herself, sheâd been dreaming of this day and it took everything in her not to jump in his arms. âthe point is y/n, i got here for a reason. a part of town iâve never been too, to bump into the girl i know i was meant to be with. the girl i need to apologize too. i was stupid, fuck i am stupid. youâre my everything, will be no matter what you say,â he stepped towards her, she let him. âbut sunshine, i need you to know, that i made a fucking mistake, and if it takes me getting on my knees in the middle of the street and begging for you back i willâ y/n let out a giggle
he wasnât lying, right there he dropped to both knees, taking her hands gently, she let him âplease y/nâ she smiled, tears falling down her face âget off the ground coleâ she was hysterically laughing at this point âi love you y/nâ he said, standing up âsay anything, please anythingâ he too was crying, she wiped his tears
âitâll take everything to regain that trust backâ she said, putting a hand to his cheek. âbut i think the stars aligned today. i knew chicago had something for meâ he smiled, his eyes sparkled in the moonlight. âitâs us sunshine, always has beenâ she nodded as he looked into her eyes. he pulled her in gently âcan i kiss you?â he asked, blush painting his face âof course you canâ he pulled her in so quickly she swears she got whiplash.
clapping comes from the sidewalk as they both turn, the bartender is smiling âalways chase the girlâ she reminded, locking the doors to the bar âyou got it maamâ colston says as he turns back to y/n, kissing her again âi love you today, tomorrow, and foreverâ