~

bucky animation wip🗣️

At the closing of the day

John loathed cold weather with a passion, but unfortunately here he was, trudging alongside Bucky on some covert reconnaissance in some frozen hellscape of a forest. Despite being bundled up in a thick parka over the top of his usual tactical gear, he was still shivering like one of those pathetic hairless cats Bob found so endearing.

Ugh, just thinking of them sent him shivering in disgust. Or that could just be the frigid temperature of his surroundings.

Goddamn recon missions in the middle of snowstorms – here he was, stuck in the damn mountains in the middle of some of the worst weather he’d ever experienced, all because Bucky had decided that the storm was the ideal cover for checking out a remote “weather station” that Val said was hiding the comms network of their latest group they were trying to dismantle.

and when bucky had nothing he had steve

Because it is confusing. It would almost feel easier if there was no love there at all. But sometimes there was love. In the way they tried to protect you. In the sacrifices they made. In the ways they worried about you, cared for you, wanted a good life for you.

And at the same time, there were still things missing.

Maybe comfort did not come in the way you needed it to. Maybe your feelings were not always understood, or noticed, or handled gently. Maybe you learned to keep certain parts of yourself quiet because it felt easier than trying to explain them.

That kind of hurt is difficult because it does not always come from cruelty. Sometimes it comes from people who loved you deeply, but did not know how to emotionally connect in the ways you needed. People carrying their own wounds, limitations, fears, or ways of surviving.

And you are allowed to acknowledge both truths at once.

You are allowed to recognize their love and still grieve what you needed but did not receive. Those things do not cancel each other out.

Forgiveness, for a lot of people, is not pretending nothing hurt you. It is slowly accepting that someone can love you and still fall short of understanding you completely.

That does not make your pain dramatic. It does not make them monsters either. Sometimes it just means everyone was trying with the emotional tools they had, and some of those tools were not enough.

And I think many people quietly carry guilt for still feeling hurt by parents they know tried their best. But being loved imperfectly can still leave wounds. It makes sense that it affected you.

At the same time, you do not have to stay trapped only in anger forever either. Sometimes healing looks like understanding that your parents were human before they were parents. People shaped by their own experiences, their own upbringing, their own emotional gaps.

That understanding does not erase your feelings. It just softens the sharp edges around them a little.

You deserved emotional safety. You deserved gentleness. You deserved to feel understood, comforted, and emotionally close to the people raising you.

And if they could not fully give that to you, it is okay to mourn it.

But I hope you also know this: the love you needed is still something you can experience in your life. Through other people. Through chosen family. Through the way you learn to treat yourself now.

The story does not end at what you did or did not receive growing up.

BUCKY BARNES ꫂ ၴႅၴ dahlia [dignity, inner strength, change]

BOB REYNOLDS ꫂ ၴႅၴ cherry blossom [impermanence, renewal, strength]

ALEXEI SHOSTAKOV ꫂ ၴႅၴ king protea [courage, daring, transformation]

YELENA BELOVA ꫂ ၴႅၴ daffodils [rebirth, new beginnings, faithfulness]

AVA STARR ꫂ ၴႅၴ stargazer lily [sympathy, prosperity, ambition]