♡H.M.P♡

Me as a college professor

Chosen.

…Nothing I write will ever be as motherfucking amazing as this.

no offense but like… why are people obsessed with king kong and godzilla

Big

Loud

Handsome

that was the uggliest sound I’ve ever heard….. lol 

when he pulls out

2012 was a different time

A simpler time

THANK YOU–I’ve had exactly 2 phones in the last 6 and a half years and they were both androids that served me very well. Meanwhile it seems that iPhone users go through phones like toothbrushes :/ i BEG YOU– spend your money more wisely. My lg has the best battery life, camera, and accessibility I’ve gone through while phone shopping. Don’t buy into the hype

if someone makes you happy, make them happier

This mindset will make you the kindest you can be

Did Jordin Sparks ever figure out how to breathe with no air

when was the last time u heard anything about jordin sparks. i rest my case

The Christopher Robin movie looks great

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

Rb if you’d dodge the draft