DANGER! DANGER!

This is so amazing. 

There’s a pelican so huge you can’t possibly dive down far enough to evade its beak

If you get bitten by a deep-sea shark when it comes up to the surface to die, you’ll transform into one and have to live in the abyss

Hagfish can fill up a dead mermaid, make it look alive and use it to trick you

A mysterious mermaid wanders at night waiting to startle you with the horrible crustacean in her mouth. If you flinch, she steals your tongue and leaves the creature in its place.

You might think you’ve made a nice new friend who just doesn’t talk much until she grabs you with her metal hook hands and drags you away on an invisible line to get eaten by land people

If you eat too many jellyfish, one might turn out to be a vengeful jellyfish ghost that will only choke you to death from the inside*

things that make sense when you realize bioware is just afraid of alienating christian audiences:

varric and hawke saying “anders was crazy” regardless of your choices in dragon age 2

hawke’s general ooc-ness in inquisition

changing from “the dalish value magic” to “the dalish will abandon their magic children in the wild” 

the weird false dichotomy between mage and elf liberation (see above)

the inquisitor not being allowed to call out any of cullen’s anti-mage bullshit

not giving any actually well-thought-out and nuanced anti-chantry dialog options in inquisition 

long story short: bioware didn’t let fenris and anders be friends because together they’d be too powerful and they’d piss off the christian right and that scared them. the “bad writing” in inquisition is just damage control. 

Poor baby by the fence. Let him in!