SUPER DELUXE!

i also continue to have a dog steal my pillow

i continue to not win at the game of life

not winning the game of life ever, i fear

do we think oasis will be able to make it past the first 10 minutes of their first reunion show?

i remember whenever i’d hurt myself, my dad would always be like “well it’s a long ways from your heart!” and i tried to tell madison that when she hurt her foot and she threw the remote at me.

i take it back, the worst chore in the house is picking my girlfriends hair out off of everything i own

i think that the worst household chore is the dishes

it’s almost that time 🥅

“the only issues i have are mommy issues”

rate my tinder bio

i'm single now, hmu

having a gf is cool, but have you ever had a mcdonalds coke