—子虚乌有—

Official silly sign

Breeding kink so disabling I pop a semi every time I put fuel in my car

I really typed this in my car at the petrol station because I was worried that if I waited until I got home I’d forget it

@funnier-when-objectum

i'm going to [remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental heath] suck the barrel of this gun sloppy style

crazy how quickly dust accumulates. i should be allowed to put my trinkets on a shelf and not touch them and they remain in perfect condition forever. dont even get me STARTED on the inside of a computer. why do i have to brush your teeth. youre technology.

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

deliriously ripping open the sexy fishnet tights of a beautiful woman named bag of mandarins

@funnier-when-objectum

Actually no one should be having sex. All of us are aged-up minors and the passage of time is inherently problematic