...the world chico, and everything in it

I, like millions of other individuals, work hard every day to improve my life and contribute something positive to society. I am a 3.5GPA student at a prestigious music college. I have been employed at one of the nation’s leading engineering firms for 7 years. I have been a youth basketball official for 12 years. I vote and pay my taxes. I have become CEO of the Music Division/Artist Development for MJC Management Inc., a black owned company based in Minnesota. I am a young black entrepreneur poised for success and I have fought through poverty, homelessness, addiction, betrayal, and loss all with minimal support. These events that have shaped my life have made me strong and unrelenting in my pursuit of and happiness.

What really brings joy to my life is the time I share with my children. Nothing makes me happier or fills me with as much pride and satisfaction as seeing my children grow and learn. My past relationships with the mothers have all ended in various ways for multiple reasons. Without getting in to detail I will honestly say that early in my life I was unfaithful. After my first attempt to create a family, I was weak minded and allowed myself to enter a physically abusive relationship. When I finally had enough of being beaten I walked away. My final attempt to stabilize what I believed was a "normal" family unit turned out to be a lesson for me in the deceptive nature others. I was led to believe that the person I was with would be a suitable partner and would work with me to achieve more out of our lives together and that the family I was introducing my other children to was of upstanding character. I was very wrong in my decision to choose that person as a mate and I made the honorable decision to leave before it destroyed me or my progeny.

It is this last relationship that has me reeling. Knowing the person I am and my love for my children, my last partner has denied me seeing my youngest child and has gone so far as to attempt to defame my character both on and off line. According to sources I never wanted a family; I am an alcoholic and a drug addict; I abandoned my daughter; I was emotionally abusive; and I am horrible father.

This being said, I won’t respond with a defense. Why would I bother to even respond to such a blatantly obvious lie and desperate attack from a woman scorned? This is the same woman who sang praises of me as a father and openly said that it was a major deciding factor in her wanting to marry me.

The truth is that some people just cannot accept that their own behaviors and actions come with consequences and that those decisions, no matter how individual the people who make them seem to think they are, effect more than just themselves. Right now my daughter is subsequently paying the consequences for her mother’s actions. My daughter has siblings who love and miss her, a loving, attentive, and caring father who adores her, and a family, however unconventional, that needs her. I am not perfect but I understand and accept my faults and take full responsibility for the mistakes I have made on my journey through life. My focus and determination help to keep my emotions at bay. As upsetting as my situation currently is, I also understand that I am not the only father who has an experience similar to this one. I am not so arrogant to think that I am alone in my battle against petty individuals who think of nothing but themselves and forget about the world that exists beyond them.

I’m sitting here thinking about the title of my post and something hit me… I am finally doing exactly what I want to do, the way I want to do it and surrounded by the people I want to be around. At 32 years of age, I admit I’m a little disappointed that it has taken me this long to accomplish it but, I am finally chasing my dream.

How often do you wake up and feel like nothing you do is making you happy? How many times have you been asked what you do and your response was, “Well I work …, but what I’m really passionate about is…”?