Žraločí CPR

you really do meet some of the loveliest people talking about blood and sex on the internet

Someday your hands will be old and wrinkled, the skin spotted and bunching over your knuckles. And a child will watch you make something. It's a simple task, you'll have done it a thousand times before. But to that child, the smooth, confident way your hands move will seem like impossible magic. You have to keep living.

wake up in the morning go to sleep

wake up in the morning go to sleep

whoaaa .... whats a lovely slimer like you doing in the benthic zone. .....

wake up in the morning go to sleep

whoaaa .... whats a lovely slimer like you doing in the benthic zone. .....

wake up in the morning go to sleep

právě mi došlo, že bootlicker = doslova patolízal

I think it’s kind of awesome that what happened with wick at obrimus felt like such a perfect beat to leave him at at the end of the arc. knowing this is obviously represents a huge change for him and we’re going to get to see what that ends up meaning for the character over the next schemers arc. and it only happened bc sam rolled like shit and brennan wanted to give him some agency in how he died. and instead sam decided to have wick slash a completely innocent woman’s throat to save his own skin. the dice tell a story and that story is wick better start killing or else

One bird in my neighborhood starts chirping at 4am, way earlier than the other birds in my neighborhood. If you think about it, it’s actually really annoying, and it probably pisses off the other birds too, including me, who isn’t even a bird.

I am making everyone remember normal goose

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

never going to be over that time I was trying to explain polyamory to my mum, and she said "I just don't understand how someone could be in love with two people at once" and I gave her my the-cognitive-dissonance-is-causing-me-physical-pain face and she said "what??" and I very quietly said "mother....you had an affair...."

I failed to notice the original tweet below and i just assumed this post was just about the artistic process in general, not nsfw art specifically, and just accepted that yeah sometimes you gotta rub that thang till the job is done

honestly just a good mindset in any creative endeavour

one of my college besties described this as "procrasturbation" and it lives with me to this day

For my fellow Europeans south of us who are currently suffering from extreme heat. Stay safe!

Girl with a uniform fetish who is turned on by all things and concepts an equal amount