Žraločí CPR

one thing europe has that the US lacks is when you go in the kebab shop and they got shiny sweaty young hairy guys that are jacked and chubby working in there and you and you start 3d visualizing sucking dick in your head but you just gotta order normally and get out of there

meet me under the pier we are going beast mode

BREAK UP THE MONOPOLIES

the concept of a site that doesn't even allow porn requiring age verification for mature content. you gotta give us your legal id or else we'll hide random posts that were incorrectly flagged from you

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

Watching a friend play some Warhammer game, asking "is anyone in warhammer happy?" and then receiving a 40+ min explanation was the highlight of my day

I was like "damn, not even the emperor?" to which they replied, dead serious "especially not the emperor"

okay but we can't know for sure that the loud noise and bright flash offstage—which occurred after the character who was holding the gun exited the stage with it—was a gunshot, because we didn't get to directly see it

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

sony cutting off physical discs while also implementing a system that doesnt allow you to actually own ur digital games due to that 30 day verification whatever not to mention outside of gaming for the past few years sony has stopped producing on physical formats which is insane because THEY developed nearly every format every company uses( dvd, bluray, cd, etc ) so they have the biggest hand on production leaving a vacuum now that theyve stopped plus being absolutely shady with their digital marketplaces most recent example w/ pulling studio canal conent & the funimation / crunchyroll merger still has missing anime never added back to the app the shut down of multiple studios + the end of destiny 2 despite wanting to focus on live service which is just code for focusing on gta6's online mode & nothing else like adding the years upon years upon years of extra added shady sony horsepiss not just playstation but sony as a whole the fuck am i expected to spend a SINGLE dime with them again

adding to the "you dont hate sony enough" they also announced today they are shutting down the ps3 & psvita digital marketplaces so fuck preservation of games for older consoles ig !!

you really do meet some of the loveliest people talking about blood and sex on the internet

Someday your hands will be old and wrinkled, the skin spotted and bunching over your knuckles. And a child will watch you make something. It's a simple task, you'll have done it a thousand times before. But to that child, the smooth, confident way your hands move will seem like impossible magic. You have to keep living.