Dammit Danny

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

before pride month ends does anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

posting this on the first day of june so you all have plenty of time to gather your nerves and whatnot

you can access a different mode by washing your hair

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 UCK OUTTA HERE‼️‼️

i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright

every time i rediscover a Life Hack from like 30,000 years ago i feel so stupid i want to kill myself. ive recently started using a normal reed basket i just found by a dumpster to carry shit around my house. i need to bring 8 things from the kitchen cabinet to the stove to bake some cookies. ok i put them in the basket, i carry them to the stove. when im done with each ingredient i place it in the basket. at the end i take the basket back to the cabinet. i do this instead of making 4-5 trips because it's too many items to hold at once. i feel like a genius. i feel like a moron. i love my simple reed basket

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

I know we joke and all but i think my mind is destroyed for real