f r e s h !

minhee pouts when minsoo pushes him away, but quickly wraps his arms around the other’s waist when he moves back closer. “i’m not bad at dancing, i am a lead dancer! i’m just teasing you, cutie.” he pats minsoo’s cheek with a giggle. “that’s all i wanted to hear.” he sneaks a kiss to the top of minsoo’s head, cheeks flushing slightly after he pulls away, coughing slightly. “anyway.” he can feel the heat rising in his cheeks, and he buries his face into minsoo’s chest to avoid the younger boy seeing the mess that he has become, just by simple gestures and the proximity of the both of them. he’s sure that he has a crush on the younger boy, but he isn’t sure where minsoo stands on the issue, or if anything could even come from it. surely it would be difficult to sneak around, but sometimes, minhee can’t help but think about it. 

“but you have a nice chest, who wouldn’t want to see that?” he closes his mouth, eyes wide as he realizes what he just said. “i mean…” he can’t even come up with a good response for that, so he just moves on. “but i’m sure you pull off the concept beautifully! it sounds like something that would really fit you, honestly.” he smiles brightly up at minsoo, eyes crinkling at the corners just slightly as he gazes at the younger boy for just a minute too long. “my bed is always open.” his face flushes again at the double meaning, cheeks tinged just ever so slightly a pink-ish red. 

                — minsoo laughs when the other buries his face into his chest. how quickly it has changed from minsoo being the embarrassed, blushing one, to minhee, and he can’t help but think how cute it is. usually it’s the older boy teasing him until he’s red-faced and stuttering, falling over his words and hiding his face, but it’s nice to get him back for once. and maybe his heart kind of explodes when minhee looks up at him with his bright smile and crinkled eyes and  minsoo’s brain is working at ten thousand miles an hour but his main thought is; he really wants to kiss minhee. he flushes at the compliment and suddenly everything feels too warm, like his skin is on fire. just the remnants of training, he tells himself, but he knows it’s not true. he does wonder what it would look like if an outsider walked in, sees the two blushing boys cuddled up together on the floor, casually kind-of flirting but now going anywhere. 

“ you really think so? i’m not so sure... but i’m sure it’ll work out okay. i mean, i think it’ll be okay, ” he laughs, trying not to let on just how nervous he is about debut. not just the when or if, but the songs, the dances, outfits and make-up, how popular they’d be, would people even like them? he has to stop himself from overthinking everything; the future is the future and he’d rather enjoy the now, like the time he spends with minhee. “ i’ll have to take you up on that more often then, ” he laughs, not quite catching the double meaning, but he smiles regardless. “ could we maybe go back... now? i might be more tired than i thought and the floor isn’t as comfy as i imagined... ”

minhee jokingly hits minsoo’s chest at the remark, not even dignifying that with a response. he welcomes the head pats, however, settling back down when minsoo moves into a more comfortable position. never in his twenty three, nearly twenty four years of his life, did he ever think that he would be cuddling with a cute boy on the floor of the practice room, but here they were, and minhee wasn’t about to move unless he absolutely had to. and for the moment, that need wasn’t there. “i remember watching c2 and union stages, but i never remember being required to watch single member fancams.” he’s teasing, really, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to hear minsoo say it out loud, that he had been paying attention to minhee because he liked him. “plus, shouldn’t you be watching the main dancer? i’m not even in the dance line.” he looks up at minsoo with big eyes, blinking a few times. “are they hot?” he asks frankly, laughing afterwards. “now you make me curious~” he smiles brightly at minsoo when he asks to stay over, eyes twinkling slightly. “as long as our manager doesn’t find out, it’s all good! and really… he lets us get away with so much he probably wouldn’t even care..”

                — he huffs at minhee’s teasing, jokingly pushing him away before wiggling back over to him seconds later. “ just because you’re not in the dance line doesn’t mean you’re not good at dancing. plus... i like hearing you sing. you have a nice voice — okay. so maybe i just like watching your fancams. it’s fun. ” minsoo groans and covers his face with his free hand, embarrassed that he actually admitted it out loud. he doesn’t feel the need to hide things when he’s with minhee, not like with other people, but it doesn’t mean that he’s not awkward and embarrassed by it. his brain is telling him ‘ because minhee is pretty and has a nice voice and maybe i like him a lot but is it in just a bro way? ’ but that is definitely something he’s not ready to admit out loud yet. he knows minhee wouldn’t make fun of him for it. not in a serious, mean way anyway. but he can’t help but still be scared, anxious. 

“ kind of. ugh. some of them are okay but then they whip out the mesh, or the low cut shirts. i swear sometimes they give me more cleavage than yuna. i don’t get it. i swear, if my mother ever sees, she may have a heart attack, ” he laughs, because he would love to see his mother’s face if she saw what kind of concept he was in. “ it’s okay? thank you — i really need a break from my own dorm. ” the ‘ and i want to stay with you ’ part of his sentence goes unspoken. 

.・゜-: ✧ :- 𝐈𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐁𝐔𝐌 to befriend others as easily as before. when originally arriving to the company as a trainee, he was a mundane individual with friendly mannerisms. he spent time befriending as many people as he could, but at the same time kept to himself due to the fact that he viewed his time with the company as work only. it’s during this time when he made the most friends, though, in which he can lean upon till this day. kibum, though, has changed greatly following a scandal that made upset his mother, speaking words that hurt him, at the same time making him realize that he’ll never be good enough for her. this flipped a switch in him, creating the person he is today. someone who did not make new friends, keeping to himself, spoiling his life with all the bad addictions. 

minsoo, however, is someone he befriended despite the pessimistic person he’s become. the two bonded over their mutual interest in gaming, & he became a person he enjoyed spending time with. he’s someone he wouldn’t want to lose. that’s why he’s hoping they can overcome the awkwardness lingering. “hey, don’t say that. i take my job seriously, just not myself.” he smiles at the other, burying hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “do i creak ? wow, thanks, buddy.” he laughs while shaking his head. “you’ll get the dance, don’t worry. you’re not a bad dancer at all.” looking about, he cleared his throat, knowing he had to bring up the last night spent together in order for the two to properly move in. “by the way, about the other night … we can move on from that, right ? ”

                — he doesn’t remember exactly when he and kibum met and became friends, but he knows that he enjoys the time they spend together, playing games, whether they’re working together or playing against each other, getting stuck on missions or complaining about their other team mates. it’s a friendship minsoo values a lot. he didn’t realise how much he needed a friend like this, someone to chill and play games with after long days in the practice room and days of frustration. whenever he needed to just forget about practice or how his debut was uncertain, he’d call kibum. 

“ just a little creaky. at least your back or hip haven’t given out yet. i feel like mine will soon, ” he laughs and pats his hip that had been feeling a little stiff that morning. he knows it’s nothing serious, probably because he forgot to stretch first, but he still jokes about it. he shuffles his feet awkwardly when kibum brings up the subject he knew would come up eventually, he was just hoping they could put it off for a bit longer. but at the same time he’s grateful kibum is the first to mention it. minsoo exhales a breath of relief. at least they could clear the air a little, and he wouldn’t have to overthink about how he’s totally, definitely, absolutely ruined their friendship. “ y-yeah. we can, yeah. i know i’ve been... avoiding you. i thought i’d royally messed things up and you’d hate me forever now. ” he jokes, part of him still thinking that that’s the case and kibum is just saying this out of courtesy, but he shoves his insecure thoughts down. 

         “ YEAH, OF COURSE. EVERYONE DOES. “ tae smiles at him, and he chuckles. “ please don’t okay it’s embarrassing. “  and he chuckles again, and bites his lip. “ nah i don’t, we all struggle with it. but we try our best !  that’s all that can be done. “ he grins at him and he runs his fingers through his hair and he smiles at minsoo again, unable to help it. he likes him. there’s a lot that he’s willing to help him as much as he can. “ well let sgo to the practice room then, huh ? “ he asks him. 

   “ of course i will. “ he smiles back at him, he’s practically a puppy and tae hasn’t seen that in so long. he remembers when he was like that, a hyperactive teenager yet he’s completely changed direction unless he’s on camera. he walks with him and then he chuckles and he looks towards minsoo again. “ you don’t need to buy me anything, i promise. whatever you wanna know, i’ll help as much as i can, okay ? “ he asks. 

                — he trails behind taesong all the way to the practice room, shuffling his feet and grinning with excitement. minsoo isn’t usually one to ask for help from others, way too insecure to let people see his weaknesses. he prefers working on things himself either until he finally manages to get it, or he wears himself out. but taesong is different; he’s nice to him, doesn’t shout or make him feel bad for making mistakes. he actually helps him, happily, willingly. for that minsoo is grateful. 

“ thank you! it’s only a few steps, so it shouldn’t take too long. i don’t want to keep you too late... ” he says as they reach the practice studio. they open the door and minsoo works on turning the lights on, illuminating the empty room. “ you won’t let me buy you food? but what if, say, i had already smuggled some snacks in for us... ” he wiggles his eyebrows playfully and unzips one of his jacket pockets, the corner of a chip packet poking out. “ you know, just for the energy... ”

        𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚 to chaemi. “minsoo…” she trailed, trying to thing about what to say next. “are you serious?” she quickly realized what she said may have stung, trying to back it up with how she really felt. she watched him cringe at her question, continuing, “minsoo, i’ve known you for a really, really long time. and i know how it feels to have a friend that you trained with that became part of a group before you. you know yunmi? yunmi and i have known each other since high school, and i was so convinced that with our skills and chemistry that we’d both debut. but, in 2017, she was placed in q-ueen, and i was asked to wait another year. and, i’ll be honest, your feelings have reasoning; i haven’t been the greatest friend recently. i’ve been neglecting some of the people i love the most; i know i haven’t been visiting you as often and bringing you food the way i used to,” she chuckled, touching one of the bags with her foot. “i’m sorry i wasn’t there for you when i should have been. but know that it’s never your fault. you’re in a group now, you’re almost all set for debut! waiting is hard, especially when you know how much you deserve that winning prize. but waiting teaches you more patience and respect than anything you’ll ever know. back to yunmi, you think i wasn’t ashamed to the very core of my existence that i didn’t debut with or before her? there were times when i’d leave because i didn’t think i could even look at her. but we had a conversation, just like this one, and we solved it. she helped me, and now i’m here to help you.” chaemi took hold of minsoo’s hand and squeezed it gently, flashing him a reassuring and understanding smile. 

       “i sound like an old woman,” she groaned, reaching for a chicken riceball and unwrapping the plastic protectant. she took a small bite of her riceball, chewing silently and crossing her legs. she didn’t know if she made him feel better or worse, or even helped him out in the slightest, but she knew he knew it was her intention to. he was the same kid she always knew, ambitious, hard-working, and competitive— but also emotional. she hoped her words struck a chord with him and let him know that it was okay that he felt that way.

                — minsoo is stunned into silence at first. he didn’t know what he expected her to reply, but it was more or less along the lines of ‘ stop being an unreasonable baby ’ which, in hindsight, is probably what he thought of himself. he listens to her carefully, keeping his mouth sealed shut, not wanting to interrupt her with his own insecure thoughts. but by the time she’s finished, his smile grows wider and he looks at her warmly. he was a fool to think that she would resent him. this was chaemi — his best friend. he squeezes her hand in return and nods slowly. 

“ chaemi... ” he’s still at a loss for words, but he gently slaps his own cheeks to snap himself out of it. “ no, it’s not your fault. you’ve been trying to reach out to me and i’ve been ignoring you, pushing you away, i’ve been so immature. oh god, i feel so bad. i’m so stupid. ” he sighs and flops backwards onto the floor dramatically, taking a riceball of his own with him. he nibbles on the edge as he thinks. “ — i shouldn’t have treated you like that. i know things will work out for me in the end, eventually. you’ve been doing so well, i’m really happy for you. seriously. thank you for talking to me and... helping me. i know things aren’t easy for you either. your schedules must be packed! i can’t imagine how tired you are. ” minsoo laughs, and it’s not awkward anymore. he feels lighter now, after talking to her, and like a piece of his mind has been put to rest. if he knew how easy things could be sorted by just talking — then he wouldn’t be running away from his problems so often. he sits up again, suddenly, and beams at chaemi. “ you’re such a good friend — seriously! my best friend. if you’re an old woman, then i’m acting like a two year old. i can’t believe i’ve been so stupid. ”

              ᴍɪɴ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇ ᴍɪɴꜱᴏᴏ'ꜱ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴋ Qᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴀꜱ ʜɪꜱ ᴅɪᴅ. while in his family, he was the only that had been pinned against other kids, in minsoo’s family seemed to be a recurrent thing. after all, his father had a purpose behind getting him to be exactly like he wanted —— he needed an heir to the kim empire and being the only born son, he had fallen victim. as of that moment, his sister was free to fight for whatever she wanted, unlike him. however, in the other’s family, it seemed even the small sisters were forced to fight for affection, if not taught the competition and crude ways of the world since young age. but he also knows that minsoo has access to everything, while min’s father seemed to only give him what he deserved, which never was much. maybe that’s what sparked jealousy onto minsoo, maybe that’s why after all these years, after maturing and becoming an almost functioning adult, he still could feel some sort of stiffness when  speaking with the other “ —— yeah, you’re right. ” he shrugs, but somehow he knows as much as the other, some things leave a scar “ —— before than anything, the shitty childhood we had always left a scar, doesn’t it ? ” he knows he’s complaining for nothing; after all, he’s a prime member of one of the most successful bands in so!ar while minsoo still holds on to nothing “ —— your time will come. i never told you, i was supposed to debut in a duo that never really got up. i know what’s facing the light and being put in the corner once more. your time will come. ”

                — minsoo had been pinned against taemin, but they hadn’t done the same for his sister and minsoo’s own. maybe because of the age gap, maybe because of how taemin’s family worked. they’d had other rivals, yes, minsoo himself and other girls at their school, but none so close, so known to the family. he’d had never been sure if his parents ‘friendship’ with taemin’s had been real or fake — the kind where you’re civil and polite, good friends in person but once behind their back every bad feeling comes out. it’s funny to think back on now, minsoo thinks, after being raised so proper, how hypocritical his parents were. “ — yeah, you can say that again. ” he laughs, but it’s a dry laugh. his parents had left a scar alright. not a physical one, but crippling anxiety, self-esteem issues, jealousy and countless insecurities they’d left him with. part of him is hoping it’ll all go away once he gets on stage, has a chance to prove them wrong, but the other part of him knows that’s now how it works. “ you’re right. thank you. ” he’s surprised at taemin’s encouragement, but it’s a pleasant feeling. “ we’ve both been through hard times. i can’t imagine what it was like for you back then. ” they don’t need to compare how hard things have been for them. minsoo knows its not a competition, not anymore. it doesn’t need to be. “ it’s nice to see your group doing so well. i took my sisters to one of your concerts once, you know — back when i wasn’t a trainee yet. it was... good to see you on stage. ”

jinah  didn’t  feel  like  so!ar  entertainment  royalty…  she  felt  all  spent  up  with  a  shell  of  herself  left.  the  group  wasn’t  her  home  anymore  and  although  their  comeback  had  been  a  much  needed  change,  she  didn’t  see  herself  fitting  for  much  longer.  the  woman  felt  responsible  for  their  hiatus  and  it  wasn’t  fair  for  her  to  drag  members  down  with  her.  staring  at  herself  in  the  mirror  for  this  long  period  did  unnerve  her;  she  was  barely  recognisable.  she  needed  more  recovery  time  than  she  was  given  but  so!ar  were  so  keen  to  get  them  back  out  there  to  not  lose  any  more  fans  than  they  already  had.  she  had  to  do  it,  this  was  her  home  and  she  felt  like  she  had  little  say  over  her  treatment  anyway.  the  damage  was  already  done  and  she  couldn’t  see  herself  coming  back  from  this.

the  woman  hadn’t  worked  particularly  hard  in  practice,  she  just  wasn’t  in  the  correct  state  of  mind  to  be  doing  this.  are  you  okay  -  that  was  the  all  important  question  that  she  couldn’t  answer  honestly.  jinah  wasn’t  okay,  anyone  with  common  sense  could  see  that  but  the  woman  herself  didn’t  know  what  she  was  feeling  and  that  wasn’t  a  nice  spot  to  be  in.  “sure.  thank  you.”  she  turned  her  body  to  face  him  and  to  pull  an  unconvincing  smile.  “i’ll  get  out  of  your  hair.”

                — “ right, ” minsoo smiles warmly and hastily grabs at the bag he has on his back that he always takes to practice. he reaches inside and pulls out an unopened bottle of water that he nabbed from the company kitchen after finishing his practice session earlier. he stumbles into the room with it, letting the door shut behind him, and over to the woman’s side. he places the water bottle beside her and smiles again. “ here. you look like you need it! you’re not in my hair, i was just walking past and accidentally... fell in.”

he felt bad that he’d disturbed her, even if she hadn’t been practicing, but there was a feeling in the air that told him he hadn’t walked into a simple break. and minsoo has always been a kind soul, albeit a little nosy, with more regard for other’s feelings than his own (it was easier that way) and he got the feeling that maybe something wasn’t quite right. he peers down at his senior and his curiosity nosiness gets the better of him. “ — um, i know it isn’t really my place to pry, and i already asked, and it’s completely okay if you don’t want to answer — ” he finds himself rambling, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “ are you sure you’re okay? you look a little... ” he searches for the right word. the least offensive word that wouldn’t get him told off. she looked tired, yes, maybe not physically, but maybe emotionally. “ a little defeated? ”

.・゜-: ✧ :- 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄. not only was he establishing an addiction with smoking as well as drinking, over time he has been developing a depending on sexual relations. it is never a good thing to develop any addiction, for it can only get worse. kibum never meant for a newfound habit to be adopted; however, his temperaments drove forth the third. a person who clings onto people, one who can never claim to be independent. rather, very dependent & easily able to attach to others. sleeping with people allowed for the false belief that he has someone by his side. but, as of late, he has been learning that he can easily be left behind. so many former flings & affairs leaving him behind for other people. he should not be surprised, though. perhaps that is why he slept with minsoo. it’s not like he has any genuine romantic feelings for the younger male. he’s only a friend. why did he have to strain the friendship ? 

clearing his throat, his hand moves to scratch the back of neck knowing that minsoo was regarding the way in which kibum looked. hidden behind a pair of sunglasses as well as a hat. taking the sunglasses off, he shook his head. “i swear, i’m not hungover or anything. just didn’t look the best this morning.” he smiles at the taller male, nodding his head yet again. “is the dance difficult ? it seems as if choreographies are becoming more & more intricate as time goes by. i’m getting too old for them.”

                — it doesn’t have to be awkward between them. he knows that. it’s not a big deal for kibum, so it shouldn’t be a big deal for him. he supposes his fear comes from his parents influence, how they raised him to be ‘ prim and proper ’, to not act out of line, be serious — certainly not have fun. but he hasn’t seen them for years. he’s his own person now and he needs to loosen up a little. they’re also the reason he gets so instantly attached to anyone that shows him the barest minimum of attention and affection. in hindsight, maybe that’s how they ended up in this situation. not that he feels bad, has any regrets — more, he’s scared to lose their friendship. 

he coughs, and rolls his shoulders, trying to release the tension built up in his body. no, he didn’t need to be awkward. kibum was his friend and nothing had to change between them, not over some silly, one night thing that he knows is a common thing that goes on around here. he’s not going to hang onto this. “ no? i know you like a drink — even if you have work early in the morning,” he laughs, loosening up now they’re joking around. because that’s what they were, they had fun together. “ mmm, it’s not too bad. but i’ve never been the best at the fancy footwork — i keep tripping over my own feet. i might just be tired though... ” he hums and raises an eyebrow at kibum, smiling, teasing. “ too old? you’re not that old. i know your bones are starting to get creaky now and ‘ don’t work like they used to ’ but.. ”

        “ oh really ? “ he grins at him and he raises his eyebrows. he knew it was common to use the old songs of the older groups but it still surprises him when someone’s using one of theres. “ which one is it ? “ he asks and then he answers him just as tae asks the question and he laughs.  “ blood sweat and tears. “ he liked the choreography for it, it happened to be his favourite albeit it was a bit harder than some so he could understand why he struggled with the foot work. “ i struggled with the foot work on that too, if you see some of our old practice videos i used to trip over my own feet. “ he says and then he grins, feeling a happiness jolt through him. “ you think i’m impressive ? “ 

    “ i’m a little tired, yeah. but i’ll help you with your footwork. “ he says and then he grins. “ you’ll buy me dinner, huh ?  i like the sound of that.  but come on i’ll show you what you wanna know.  i mean you came to the right one. “ 

                — “ really? i must have watched those videos a hundred times and i never noticed... i’m going to have to check now! ” minsoo laughs jokingly, grinning at the other boy. “ definitely impressive. you pull everything off so well. ” he says, giving taesong a thumbs up and laughing. and it’s true — he does look up to taesong a little, if not a lot. he’s been debuted for quite some time now, and minsoo remembers watching some of c2′s stages before he even came to the company ( mainly because he was curious, jealous, of how taemin was doing ), wishing it could be him up on that stage one day. but he’s here now, practicing c2′s songs and he’s grateful to taesong that he’s willing to help him. 

“ you will? thank you so much! ” he smiles widely and he’s practically jumping in excitement. he’s aware of how much he looks like an excited puppy sometimes, his group mates have commented on how he trails them and other’s around like an oversized puppy, but he doesn’t really care. “ you’re a lifesaver. really. i’ll buy you whatever you want! i swear i have two left feet — if i had to trip over once more... ”

minhee can’t help but giggle at how minsoo sounds, slightly rolling his eyes. of course, he would indulge absolutely everything that minsoo wanted from him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to poke a little bit of fun at the younger boy first. minsoo really did have some sort of hold over him, but minhee was completely welcoming it in full at this point. “whatever you want soo.” he says softly, watching him with big eyes. 

the hand in his hair makes minhee close his eyes slightly, just enjoying the feeling of the younger boy’s fingers in his hair, the soothing felling almost lulling him to sleep. “i’m only two years older than you, brat, you better take that back.” he mutters, but a laugh leaves his lips at the same time. he loves their banter, and he also loves the position that they are currently in. “have you been watching my stages, soo?” he opens one eye to look up at him with e grin, black eyeliner smeared lightly around his eyes. “someone has been monitoring my group, hmm?” he snuggles further into minsoo’s chest, fingers digging into the younger boy’s chest. “you can always come hang out at the sun unit dorm if you want to. you’re always welcome in my room.” he smiles warmly. “i’m glad that you like your group mates, and i think that you are very suited for your style. you’re sleek, polished, and just the right amount of sexy.”

                — “ two years can make a lot of difference you know! it’s a good thing you have a young man like me here to look after you, ” he jokes, laughing and patting minhee’s head as though comforting him. he shifts slightly, an ache in back, until he’s comfortable again and the other settles back on his chest. minsoo hums contentedly, more than happy with his current situation. 

“ well, you know, we have to monitor out senior’s stages... it’s all part of the training. and maaaybe your fancams happen to be the most helpful, ” he says, and it’s partly true, they do watch their senior’s stages for both the experience and the hope that’ll be them up on the stage performing one day. the fancams definitely aren’t part of it, but he doesn’t mind the extra chance he can to see minhee perform. he glances down at the older boy’s hand on his chest, and he has the strongest urge to take his hand and hold it. because maybe he’s thought about holding minhee’s hand more than once — several times in fact. it would so easy to do, and yet minsoo is way too embarrassed to. he knows minhee wouldn’t care, and would probably be more than happy. his face flushes for the umpteenth time that evening. “ t-thank you. at least you think so. you should see some of the outfits they’re thinking of dressing us in... ” he pauses. “ really? your group mates wouldn’t mind me being there? i was going to ask... if i could m-maybe stay with you tonight, at your dorm? ”

     “ yeah, me too. it helps sometimes when you’re trying to learn. “ he nods and he offers a grin in response. he’d always been one for watching other people dance, and he’d been happy doing that. sometimes more than he preffered doing it. but he’d never admit that out loud to anyone. hanbin just preferred it to be honest, and he always would probably. he likes to see how others work. 

   he hesitates on the answer thinking it through carefully instead of just blurting out a yes to make him feel better. “ sort of. it does and it doesn’t. there are gonna be days whenen practicing just.. takes it out of you and it happens. but other days it’s gonna be like a walk in the park. it’s either or there’s never usually a happy medium with practicing but you get there and the out come you get is worth it. “ he says with a grin. “ you don’t sound like you’re whining at all. “ 

                — he does prefer honesty. he’d rather that then be coddled or lied to, he doesn’t need his feelings spared and would rather hear the honest truth, especially when it comes to something as important as this. really, he knew the answer before he even asked the question — if it was hard now, it’s going to get much harder once he’s debuted; the pressure of the public eye, keeping up his appearance, more practicing. so many things. but it was reassuring to hear it from someone else, someone more experienced than he was. 

“ just a little whiny, ” minsoo laughs. “ i understand. i shouldn’t complain, i know it’s got to be so much harder later on, this is probably the easier part. ” he likes interacting with his seniors, learning what its like. he feels like it’ll prepare him more for when it’s his turn in the spotlight ( more, if he gets a turn ). “ how long did it take you? before you debuted? whats it like being such a big group — sorry, sorry. i know it’s a lot of questions, it’s just... very exciting. ” his face flushes and he laughs nervously. 

minhee still isn’t quite sure what they are, how to navigate this situation without causing issues for the both of them, but he does know that he enjoys this, enjoys being with minsoo in whatever way he can be for the time being. the younger boy is adorable, and minhee can’t help but giggles at the reactions that he gets out of him, making the elder’s cheeks hurt from too much smiling. it’s one of his favorite feelings, and he can’t stop himself from wanting to feel it more and more, pushing what they have beyond the boundaries of what either of them knew. 

he stares at the other incredulously when he gets pulled to the grounds dazed look on his face. “you want… to lay on the ground?” he laughs, shaking his head as he watches the other for a moment before settling down only a breath away from minsoo. he blinks a few times slowly before carefully maneuvering himself to be pressed up against the other, chin resting on minsoo’s chest. “exhausting.” he sighs softly. “i really enjoy being with the kids though, and our dance style is beginning to mature a little bit, which is definitely something i like. what about you?”

                — “ yes! i know i said i wasn’t tired, buuut... ” he laughs, because he’s actually having fun. its not like with some of his other seniors or people in the company where he felt awkward, tense, scared that he was going to disappoint someone. he’s a lot calmer with minhee, feels light and happy, like he can be a little stupid, say dumb things and lay close to him on the practice room floor late at night. it’s not something he feels often, and it’s safe to say he feels somewhat... special with minhee. 

“ mmm, ” he hums, listening to the other speak, feeling warm and fuzzy pressed against him. he instinctively raises his hand to pet minhee’s hair softly as his head rests on minsoo’s chest. he’s glad for the position so minhee can’t see the huge smile playing on minsoo’s lips. his fingers comb gently through the others hair, moving his bangs out of his face. “ you’re starting to sound like an old man with your ‘ kids ’ talk. ” he laughs, “ but that’s good! hopefully it’ll keep maturing and you’ll be more comfortable. it’s nice to see you up on stage. ” minsoo sighs wistfully as he continues to absentmindedly brush minhee’s hair. “ it’s okay. the same as ever, i’m getting a little sick of staring at these studio walls, but i won’t complain. practice with yuna and dallas is fun, but they’re definitely a lot more suited than me... ”

          𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙞𝙤 eases her nerves. she shuffles into the studio slowly, letting the door shut behind her. her eyes dart to the spot minsoo pat; she debated with herself whether or not she actually wanted to sit there. in spite of the still unsure feeling in the pit of her stomach, she sat herself considerably close to him, setting the second bag next to the first. a lump began to form in her throat as minsoo began speaking, thinking about all the guilt that built up in her mind prior to opening that door. she looked over at the hickory door and thought about it: she could get up and leave, she wasn’t ready to do this yet. but a simple glance in minsoo’s direction muffled all those thoughts as he told her he 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 talking to her.

          “really?” she hiccuped, voice cracking. she laughed awkwardly and rubbed her throat, silently cursing herself for managing to still act differently, even though she’d just heard the phrase she’s been wanting to for a while. to hear a quiet chuckle escape from minsoo’s lips prompted a small smile from her— he’s still the same guy.  “i… minsoo?” she asked, lowering her head to make eye contact with him, fishing around in the first bag for his favorite snack. “second bag.” she laughed at him turning to her and nodding his head happily, pulling out the bag. “but i wanted to know, why did you stop talking to me?” 

                — “ really! you’re one of my best friends. of course i miss talking to you. i miss you, i just— ” he really doesn’t know why it’s so hard to tell her how he’s been feeling. how bad he’s felt. he doesn’t want her to think it’s her fault, because he knows it’s entirely his own, his own selfishness and then his guilt at his selfishness. he didn’t want her to feel bad... for what? for doing what they’ve both dreamed of for years, since they both first started training together? chaemi had worked hard to get where she wanted, just like the rest of them, and he shouldn’t resent her for that. it’s probably his parents speaking in the back of his brain, always comparing him to other people, making him feel like if he’s not the best, the quickest, the strongest, then he’s worth nothing. minsoo is happy for her. 

so he knew this would come around eventually. he’d have to confront it sooner or later — he can’t run from all his problems. he holds on of the milk teas in his hands and stares at it, she’d remembered it was one of his favourites, but the churning feeling in the pit of his stomach is putting him off. “ i know... i know it wasn’t good of me. it’s not your fault — not at all. i’m just... i was... jealous. we trained together and you debuted, but i’m still stuck in these practice rooms... but i am happy for you, really. i just... ” he trails off, not meeting her eyes. they used to have these deep talks all the time, in the exact same place, so why was it so difficult now?