zoë kravitz

i mean, they're not like together together, but like in a lot of peoples' minds and hearts, they are... i know you're not gonna' give up on this, though, so yeah, okay, whatever. make it one of those bougie spots and you've got a deal. and you better remember that hot fake mom promise, too.

okay, well i can't do anything about that. all i know is that he's single and i'm single, the rest is up to the universe. and i'm not asking for forever, you know... just a taste. oh, we can go wherever you want! i have a spot on 24th street or on 9th ave that i go to. it's breakfast food... we can go only as bougie as a lobster egg's benedict. like, i don't know, dude. the hot fake mom is pinky promised to you, i swear.

i don't know, i think we should show a little compassion to the people laying those pick-up lines on so thick. it's hard sometimes when you're talking to someone so beautiful, you know? all that to say: pick-up lines aren't usually my thing, but someone did approach me with a "hi" recently and it worked, so... can't dismiss the classics.

look at you, just so empathetic towards the people who have to resort to pick-up lines.. curious how much candy you have to eat to be so kind and sweet? ahh, the classic 'hi' — this one guy i know pulled that on me, and it was like instant butterflies. i think you might know him very well, actually. can't miss him. he's super handsome, rumored to smell good by his pheromones alone, future emmy winner. really just makes me wanna ask him, 'do you have a name? or can i call you mine?' y'know? maybe you can put in a good word for me.

i'm not much of a pick-up line man myself, but i've got to say some of them are cheesy in such a way they become funny. i must admit i've never had one work on me. but you are slowly changing that, because that one was actually decent. much better than the whole "if i could rearrange the alphabet i'd put u and i together", because that one is neither cheesy, corny, or cute... just pretty damn bad. shoot another pick-up line my way and let's see if it gets me on the hook.

the cheesy ones are always hilarious, because it gets to a point of like... where did you even come up with that and why? but imagining someone shoot their shot with you by using one and it working really does seem slim to none. okay, fine, we won't rearrange the alphabet together. though, i imagine hearing something about getting lost in your eyes probably isn't as good as 'i can't taste my vanilla chapstick. can you come over and give it a try?' would that work or is vanilla not your flavor? i can compromise.

that's a very valid question. and to be honest, I don't really know. I mean, I for one, am never too good for a cheesy pick up line. especially when the person offering it is easy on the eyes. hehe. but you know, different strokes for different folks. ohhhh....I see what you did there. nice.

it makes it so much easier when the person is attractive, i totally agree. we're definitely on the same boat. i think i all of a sudden already start getting ready to laugh at someone's next words just because they look good. sometimes, i'm good for stroking folks egos. though, i chalk it up to the semi-people pleaser in me. have any fans tried luring you in with one? or any past partners? like, i need the tea!

shush, are you joking? your thoughts can't always be taylor, taylor, taylor especially when you look like that. if i was you, i'd be so fucking vain it would hurt. what's your favorite wake up song of mine? i feel like i should already know this, but i'm blaming it on the copious amounts of alcohol we consume when we're together. we're bad. i just went to a knicks game with hilariously punny t-shirts, so that happened... and i was sad you weren't there cause i knew you'd come up with the funniest one. oh my gosh, you mean my disney dream? i'd be more than happy to talk about it with you. i'm in new york right now. you're coming to me? aw, i feel special.

i only look like this because i need to find a way to keep up with you! i mean, have you seen you!? it's really just dependent on my mood, but my favorite wake up song is between shake it off or look what you made me do. they just give the best energy boost! listen, and i'm happy to drink even more if that means i get to spend more time with you. oh my god!! i saw those shirts. they were so good. i probably would've gone with knickholas hoult since i'm in a new movie with him. i need to go to the next one with you! yes, exactly! and you were just the absolute cutest at the world premiere, too. i need to hear all about it. i'm in the city! what're you thinking? brunch? spa day? girl dinner?

whenever i see leather, i think of you. whenever i see my cats, i think of you. whenever i whenever... zoë isabella kravitz, i'm forever yearning for you and i'm going to need you to let me take you out to dinner soon. i miss you, so bad. so badly i feel it in my goddamn bones. p.s, i love you. | @zoekravera

god, you know i often think the stars aligned just for us to be best friends because my thoughts are always taylor, taylor, taylor. i listen to your songs first thing in the morning, also see cats and think about you, and wonder what new fun things you're doing without me. which we will need to talk about this toy story thing, too, by the way! i miss my one true love. tell me, where are you in the world? so i can come to you!

you know what i've been telling myself lately? that i should stop being a lazy friend and reach out to the coolest person i know... heads up, that's obviously you. so i was thinking we should get together again soon, have a few glasses of wine and talk shit about people we don't like. my list is relatively short, but you know, i can probably pretend to hate at least a few of the people you don't like. i can do a mean "oh my god, he did not!" and "what a bitch.." ( @zoekravera )

it kinda makes sense that i'm the coolest person you know, because you're the coolest person i know and we're just clear reflections of each other. you come around, buttering me up, then threatening me with a good time of shit talking and wine drinking? you have to know, that i won't ever deny doing any of that. y'know, my list has gotten shorter as i've aged... but i can still talk about shit that i hold grudges on, for sure. like this one guy who took the girl he was cheating on me with to our restaurant that we would frequent. this was years and years ago, but it traumatized me so bad, i had to stop eating there.

as tempting as that is because you know i love a good brunch, that's fucking nasty, dude. that's literally-but-not-literally-just-hypothetically your dad. what do you think this'll do to our literally-but-not-literally-just-hypothetically mom?

wait, are they together in your mind or actually together? because if it's the former, then i need you to stop writing fanfiction and come to brunch with me tomorrow, and make it happen. it's really simple: just introduce me, i'll do the rest. i'd do it for you, if i had a hot fake mom!

...do you not hear yourself? if you're my sister and he's my dad, then that makes him also your dad. you know that right? seek help.

damn, you're right... i'd love to call him daddy. and i do need help: from a fourty-seven year old, guatemalan, who's a spider-man variant from earth 928-b. can't you do me a solid, just this once? i'll pay for our next brunch, c'mon—