Zodiac Leon Sheppard

Uh, no, I like it. I don’t think you should change.

No. I don’t think I’m applying to college. 

Kelsie was caught in a tough spot. On one hand, she loved Bodhi. He was sweet. He was brave. He was all of Kelsie’s Firsts. Her first love. Her first real date. Her first time. She looked at Bo and saw a broken little boy, and she liked that he seemed sad. She liked he seemed like a puppy. She liked feeling needed by him. But then she looked at Zodi and saw everything she didn’t have with Bo: stability and peace. Zodi was sweet. And kind. And genuinely a good person. He wasn’t quick to anger (at least not with her; she knew with Ilia was a different story). He wasn’t the most confident kid in the world, but Kelsie knew he was sure of himself. He seemed grounded and centered and like he cared about Kelsie’s happiness. Not just about what her boobs looked like. Which was something she had always struggled with with Bo. Going into her senior year of high school, and returning to Brooksville High, Kelsie wondered how she was going to be viewed and which boy would be better for her to be with. Bo was cool. He was popular. He was a jock. He was hot. Zodi was a weirdo. A band kid. Kind of a nerdy nobody. And somehow, that nerdy nobody made Kelsie feel more like herself than she ever had before. There were no expectations. There were no presumptions. When it was Zodi and Kelsie, it was just them. They were just themselves, and someway, somehow, Kelsie was enamored. “Well I’d still like to go to the bonfire, I think,” Kelsie couldn’t make up her mind. Something about being alone with Zodi with Gage’s boys made her nervous, but she didn’t really want to see everyone at the bonfire. “Maybe we can go for a little and then head back in.” Sitting on the beach in her bathing suit and him, fully clothed, Kelsie almost imagined her life like one of the YA fiction books she read. She wondered what the author would write next, and she was excited to turn the page to see what  the next chapter held. She was hoping for something exciting. Something spicy. But she would just have to wait til the bonfire that night to find out. 

Compared to Zodi, Kelsie looked like she was born and raised on the beach. She was golden, almost. And compared to Kelsie, Zodi looked like he was born and raised in a basement. He was ghostly, almost. It made her giggle. She was still trying to ignore her feelings for him, but lately, it was getting harder to ignore. And something about this trip felt like things might be different for the two of them. People did ask Kelsie at school about Zodi. She had just finished her junior year at a private school but was planning on being back at Brooksville High for her senior year, but even at the private school, people asked about Zodi. They asked if he was as lame as he seemed online or on TV (and yes, they did watch the show) and they asked her all the time why she would be willing to be in their little garage band together. In trust, Kelsie thought Zodi was cool. In a dorky way, but still, cool. She liked their band. It was Kelsie, Zodi, and a couple other kids they knew, and as much as Kelsie wanted to be big and bad and save her reputation, she actually really liked the boys. They were sweet to her, and funny, and talented as hell. And Kelsie liked making music with them. 

“Oh yeah? How’s it gonna go? I’m sitting in the shade on the beach and my legs are see throughhhh,” she poked fun at him and literally poked his leg with her finger. She felt her hair falling from her shoulders and pulled it into a low bun, looking out over the ocean. Maisie and Cal had made it down with their small, pale children. And Issy. Kelsie loved Issy. She loved all the little girls at the dance studio, which made her decision to switch to Turner’s studio even more bittersweet. She hadn’t told Milania yet, and she was sure Mil would have her head on a platter. But what she wouldn’t know, especially while on vacation, wouldn’t kill her. 

“If you don’t want to, I’ll help you watch the boys,” Kelsie said. Admittedly, she didn’t really want to go to the bonfire. Well, she did, but she didn’t want the cameras on her. She didn’t want her big sisters constantly talking over her, and it was implied that everyone was going to come with a date. That part made Kelsie nervous. She didn’t really want to bring a date, though if she did, she was sure that Bodhi would come looking for her. She didn’t want to go with Bodhi. She didn’t want to go with Zodi, but if she had to pick, it would be Zodi. “Or we can go to the bonfire together and then make fun of everyone afterward. I hear there are going to be s’mores, but I’d rather steal popsicles from Nora’s freezer.” A couple of moments passed before she looked over at Zodi and said, “I don’t mean to imply that we’re gonna be hanging out later. I just figured we might as well…”

It was always a rare, rare evening at home when Mr. and Mrs. Sheppard would talk about their pasts pre-Plumfeld. Mrs. Sheppard was an aspiring artist before she met Pastor Plumfeld. She dabbled in making clothing, painting, drawing, writing - you name it. Her parents had kicked her out when she was a young girl and so she lived on the streets until one of the other Plumfeld residents found her one day and took her in. Mr. Sheppard was an engineer. He was a smart, smart man with a stupid pain-killer drug addiction, and he originally met Pastor Plumfeld at an AA meeting. The Pastor encouraged Mr. Sheppard to come live in Plumfeld for it was a “safe haven for the emotionally wounded” and somewhere where “everyone was welcome to heal at their own pace.” Mr. Sheppard actually did remain sober for the rest of his life, but that wasn’t a success Zodi would ever attribute to Pastor Plumfeld. Never ever. When Zodi’s parents spoke of life pre-Plumfeld, they never spoke about their previous relationships. It was always just them together and that’s the way they wanted their kids to know and remember them. However, one evening after a council meeting, Mr. Sheppard sat around the fire with Zodi and the other sons around his age and answered some of their questions. He always did that after council meetings and Zodi was convinced it was because he felt so guilty. 

It was Bubba who asked if Dad had ever had a girlfriend before Mom. Dad finally caved and said yes - Kimberly Franks. She went by Kimmie and she had the longest, blondest hair Dad had ever seen. Zodi remembered the way his fathers eyes lit up as he described her. “She was a wild one, that’s for sure,” Dad said, “We’d go to rock concerts together and she’d sit on my shoulders. She’d bring out the crazy in me, and I’d try and keep her head out of the clouds. Boy, she was really something.” 

Sitting there on the beach with Kelsie Buchanan, the crazy, loud girl who he’d originally tried so hard to not like, Zodi felt a lot like his dad, and Kelsie Buchanan felt a whole Hell of a lot like his Kimmie Franks. 

“Yeah, we might as well. You know, spare me the embarrassment of showing up to the bonfire alone or like--with my sisters, and spare you having to talk to Bo,” Zodi teased. 

He and Kelsie didn’t talk much about guys or girls. They’d occasionally talk about their bandmates and who’d they look cute with from school, but they never spoke on relationships - especially Kelsie and Bo’s. All Zodi knew of it was that every time Kelsie showed up, Bo looked like a sad puppy dog or the cat with the huge, pleading eyes from Shrek. He didn’t want to know any more. His parents always told him to never poke his nose into relationships that weren’t his. 

Kelsie rolled her eyes as she snapped pictures of her big sisters and happily passed the phone off when Kinley requested pictures with Morgan. As much as Kelsie adored Morgan (and she did despite the grief she gave him), she could only handle so much of their lovey-dovey, ooey-gooey mess. And if Kelsie was going to have to be stuck on vacation with both of them, the less time she had to be around them the better. Finally, Kinley got passed the phone and Jaci and Kelsie posed in their bikinis. For a moment, Kelsie wondered where Rory was and if she wanted to come take pictures too. Which was a weird thought for Kelsie because last time she checked, they still hated each other. Codie, on the other hand, was back in Kelsie’s good graces and Kelsie in hers. She made a mental note of asking Codie if she wanted to come watch a movie with her and Jaci Mae after the bonfire that night. 

The Little Girls ran out from Nora’s house, and they had gotten Jaci to take their pictures too. Within a few moments, Jaci was out in the water playing with the younger girls, and the twins and Morgan were walking back over to Milania’s house. Kelsie looked around and smiled. This was the happiest the entire house had been in years. Maybe for the first time in the existence of Nora’s house. They were all spread out amongst different houses, getting to live in the same house as people they haven’t in a while or never would get the chance to otherwise, and some of the older couples from the house got to play Mom and Dad. Atti was directing some people in setting up chairs and tables, and Colbie and Soren were with Baby Moon right at the water’s edge, dipping his feet in. Kelsie looked around, trying to find where she fit in when she saw Zodi sitting under an umbrella. 

“Of course you’d find a uke on vacation,” Kelsie teased, plopping down on the beach towel next to him. Kelsie had been enjoying the time she was spending in Zodi’s band. It wasn’t like anything she was used to, but she was happy making music with them. It made her happy. Happier than dancing ever did–but she’d never say that out loud. Milania didn’t need to know and never needed the chance of finding out. “Are you gonna come to the bonfire tonight?” Kelsie asked, sorta hoping he would. “And are you gonna get some sun on those legs?”

As Kelsie sat down next to him, Zodi exhaled. The two of them had been on quite the friendship journey since first being introduced several years ago, and it had only been in the last few months that his feelings for her had turned into more. Zodi wasn’t sure why, especially because she was Jaci Mae’s best friend in the entire world, but he assumed it was because he was spending so much time with her and just getting to know her. On the surface, Kelsie was scary. She had a reputation about her, and people at school either envied or hated her. Zodi didn’t mind that though, because he had a reputation too. Though he had jazz band and his band with his buddies that Kelsie was in too - people still looked at him pretty weird. I mean, after all, he came from a pretty weird place so he didn’t blame them for being freaked out by what they didn’t understand. His therapist had told him that people oftentimes hated on or disliked things they didn’t understand instead of trying to understand them, but the people that would take time to get to know him - those were the ones worth having. He was sure Kelsie wasn’t one of those people at first, but now she surely was. And above all, he was just happy his little sister had a good friend too.

“The muses just finds me wherever I am,” He said, strumming the uke again as he joked, “I’m thinking our next song title should be...Life’s A Beach.” 

Zodi was one skin tone his entire life - pale, snow white. While his siblings tanned and got freckles, (Rebel and Cal especially), Zodi only burned. He blamed Pastor Plumfeld and his fucked up DNA for his pale to burn pigment. So, while his siblings reveled in the idea of a Hawaii trip, Zodi was hesitant. He was going to go, of course, but he made sure he packed extra sunscreen, some baseball caps, and even a few long sleeve shirts to help him get through the trip without turning into Mr. Krabs. Yet, as soon as Zodi stepped foot in Hawaii and got a blue lei put around his neck, he was excited. He was hot and sweaty almost immediately, but he was excited. His first ever vacation, and on top of that, he was with his family and his friends. He thought of his parents only briefly and then instantly dove into all things Hawaii. 

That first afternoon he was sitting under an umbrella strumming a ukulele. The beach rental he was staying at with Britton, Caiden and the others had some instruments and he was fond of them. As he strummed he watched Kylie, Kinley, Morgan, Jaci Mae and Kelsie all take pictures for Instagram. Social media was still something Zodi was iffy about, and he definitely didn’t understand the hype of picture-taking, but at the same time, he wasn’t all that mad about seeing Kelsie in a bathing suit either. He was sure his cheeks flushed pink when he looked at her just a little too long and they made eye contact, so he continued strumming and watching the waves instead. His bandmate had told him to “play it cool” and he was trying really hard to.

They’re getting our home set up in Ohio like they said they were. We just have to wait until it’s ready. I don’t know why no one believes me when I say that!

...Okay. And Tinsley and Matty--where are they? And Bunny and Bubba and the others?

Oh my god, who is he hooking up with?! I didn’t know he was into anyone in the house. That’s crazy…

Oh, uh.. yeah. Um. Hey, can we actually just like… take a minute to talk?

Savannah, probably. Or maybe a girl from Tinder. He downloaded it again, I guess. I saw him swiping through girls on his phone last night. He’s the kind of douche who just swipes right on all of ‘em and talks to whoever’ll give him a chance.

They keep saying Momma and Daddy are dead. They’re not dead! 

Agh! Okay...alright. You’re right. But, where are they then? Why are we hear in Brooksville?

I was really little when I first got here, and I can confirm…. A lot of crazy things were said to Nora back then. She’s heard it all, I think. 

Sometimes I’ll be eavesdropping on accident and then hear some really fucked up shit and regret it. Like, I bet if we’re quiet enough now we’ll hear something going down. --Ah, is that Ilia? Grunting? Never mind. I’m traumatized. 

I’m not crazy!

I never said you were. Can you just tell me what happened?