05. oil paintings en route 70s theme - honey tones -beekeeping * -model rockets * -cadillacs -lsd - Longing for everyone’s silence. A small home in the desert -- forest. Natural foods, the books I read, the plants I take care of. Space to move & stretch in. I can speak with VELOCITY, and dance to music freely, and play each instrument diligently. Teas and coffees and hung up laundry. Chairs and ground to utilize under the sun and moon. Night showers & meditation & yoga & oils & don’t forget to rub your feet. A home for experimentation & true living. A space for me to be myself.
Lately after I’m done talking to friends I feel worse. I am tired of being around people with anxieties and anger and dullness and what are we even talking about? I don’t want the association. I’ve become more and more aware of my energy, and it’s not enjoyable. Where did my anger come from? Why am I allowing myself to indulge in negative patterns? Why do I feel justified & later on feel guilty? Why is my ego so damn big? I need clarity in order to become the iridescent being that I am. I think I should sign up for boxing classes. ?
Tomorrow I’ll be at work w a few others. A huge down pour and strange visitors. I am excited about coffee, and rainbows, and reading, the breath of fresh air, my upcoming interview & moving into a cute home w Sighlin. $5 for two blank canvasses. I want to rid my belongings and start over. The most simplified way to go about that is to purchase new outfits.
I truly just want to lay under the trees w a pair of binoculars and admire those beautiful, black crows. Video concept: how I speak to the camera now~ no focus & whirlwind/static.
..this post itself feels like deja vu, hahah
In addition to everything
I need to work on public speaking
I need to stay grateful & present
I should save money to travel alone
My past ... isn’t ..
