z i g z a g g a m a .

Until the plague began to effect straight people. THEN his administration cared. Because the people that mattered were finally getting sick. And finally the millions of dollars in research money was poured into finding a treatment for HIV. But by then, so many LGBTQ individuals had died.  More people died from the initial HIV epidemic than the Vietnam war.

like, i don’t know if yall realize this if youre newer here but: this whole “asexuality exclusion” thing and this “queer is a slur” thing? this is new. this is only within the past two or so years that its gained any real momentum, the same with terfs and radfems. it wasn’t a concept. there were massive, massive rallies in support of our asexual community. it’s horrifying to me how simply and neatly we as a group have gone from “The A doesn’t stand for Ally” to “There is no A at all”.

and i need you all to know: this is not a coincidence that TERFS have risen up in roughly the same time period. i need you all to realize that when you talk about your exclusion of asexuals from our community, you are parroting well-known TERF and neo-nazi rhetoric.

“they are invading [LGBT/women’s/white] safe spaces to steal our resources and oppress us.”

“they’re only pretending to be [gay/a woman].”

“[asexual/trans women/POC] aren’t REALLY [LGBT/women/human].”

and it goes deeper, fundamentally flawed: when you try to reason that asexuality isn’t inherently LGBT, but if you are otherwise LGBT but asexual it’s somehow fine and different but otherwise youre cishet…all you’re saying is that “you’re only allowed in this club if you don’t support others who are like you. you’re only allowed in this club because i as an authority say you fit nicely under a label that i agree with.”

it’s terrifying, to me, and i’m not asexual. it’s terrifying that this manufactured divide using literal talking points created by and stolen from TERFs and neo-nazis has such an appeal to so many LGBT people. i’m worried for our future on so many levels; climate change, political upheaval, the list goes on. standing strong together is so important right now, perhaps more than ever, at least in my lifetime. and yet we are so destructively focused on ideas of ‘the model of social justice’ and ‘purity culture’ and ‘respectability politics’ and so on that we would rather turn on our own–not even our allies but our own community–because we don’t think they’re LGBT enough.

Cute how people who say this shit dont say transphobia doesnt exist just because shitty parents might kick out a trans kid because they think it's because they're gay. It's all terrible and parents being bigoted and neglectful and abusive. To parents like that it doesn't matter if you're gay or trans or ace, it's all the same to them and they don't want you in their family.

Using this as a "gotcha" to belittle the experiences of those who've gotten kicked out after coming out with the bonus of not even being believed for what they came out as is disgusting.

In this recent UK study cis asexuals were the most likely to have conversion therapy equal to cis gay/lesbian people. And the most likely to have it offered.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/721704/LGBT-survey-research-report.pdf

1) Stop equating sexuality to behavior. Don’t do it with gay people, don’t do it for ace people.

2) Faith based groups, especially those who are not pro-LGBTQ don’t magically see aces as acceptable. They view them as not-straight therefore wrong.

3) If you are abstinent it’s supposed to be a sacrifice you suffer through to show your strong faith. Sex is meant to be your reward for being married. Being abstinent in a faith based groups works until you are meant to get married, be fruitful, or summit to your husband. The moment you decide you don’t want any of that for yourself now or in the future it’s a seen as a problem.

4) You’ll note that lots of number 3 is sexism, sex negativity, and the forced continuation of nuclear families something that directly and indirectly adds to homophobia and transphobia. And instead of saying “hey this ace, this victim of abuse, gives us an opportunity to discuss all of those wrongs in society, plenty of people just reblog “but why would you kick a virgin out??”

yar har fiddleteedee

And then, much much later, you start to wonder why people are getting so caught up in drama for romance or sex, like, why bother? It’s not worth it, they’re not worth it, why are you doing stupid things for something that’s so- and then you wonder if there’s something wrong with you, start mentally over compensating. Like ‘uh, okay, um, who should I date? Who can I stand to date? Who could I stand to fuck?’ like- it’s not, it’s not something you want, but you want to fit in, to be normal.

Sometimes you don’t even know that you’re doing it.

Sometimes you don’t even know asexual’s a thing.

I dunno, I guess, I just feel like, uh, people should understand more?

This is what it feels like. Or rather, I never felt that sort of attraction to people. It usually was “oh they’re cute” but it never went further than that.