I was trying to do it to the tune of Mambo number five but I feogot all the other lyrics except for that one

the other day i was perusing the dessert options in the dining hall and this group of absolute stereotypical frat boy types were also milling around the desserts and one of them pointed to the strawberry pastries and said to the others “what’s the vibe with these, boys?” and i haven’t been able to get that sentence out of my head since

if i were traded holding a dubious disc i would simply not be corrupted by it

rip to porygon 2 but im different

:/

People really out there being named ‘Merlin’ like god damn please dont cast lightning bolt on my dick

posts with a deep emotional significance 

sir will you please stop doing the worm your wife is in labor 

ma'am will you stop being in labor your husband is doing the worm

If you were directing a play, how would it begin?

bagpipes at the back of the auditorium so everyone turns their heads and when they’ve turned back around the play has already begun

façade was literally the funniest game imaginable, no more games should even try to be funny because it just isn't worth it, they can't compare. nothing will ever be funnier than entering trip and graces' house and grace saying "So how have you been, John?" and you replying "bug ass" and them giving you possibly the most expressive stares of horror before firmly asking you to leave

when the hampsterdance song comes on theres no holding me back