Irresistible

“Kitty practicing the lion dance for the Chinese New Year” 

im reminded of when i went to sit my philosophy exam and had an ex-officer as an invidulator. he asked me if i was trans, something i had no obligation to answer. but if i didnt, i would be cagey. i would now paint an image of all trans people being rude in his mind, so i said yes

that invidulator asked me why, as a trans student, i should have my rights respected if there are so few of us

and instead of rightfully getting pissed off, i had to remember that i am currently representing a community of millions to a single man in a room with just the two of us in it. i could be the deciding factor on how he conducts behaviour with trans people in the future. what if he gets called to invidulate again in 20 years time and has another trans student? what if he remembers the one he met before, and instantly assumes he knows our community?

so i explained to him why i should have rights. and i used my words carefully, because if i slip up even once i have now put a trans person in danger, because he has made a choice based on me

trans people dont get to be angry. cis people always joke about how we demand a space, or we demand the right name, or we demand they bow down to us

think very carefully, did that trans woman demand that you use the right name, or did she correct you? did that trans man hold you at gunpoint, demanding you let him piss in public, or did he look like he wanted to use the disabled toilet to avoid bothering you all together. did the nonbinary trans person have you on your knees begging for forgiveness, or did they ask nicely for you to be mindful of their pronouns?

the transphobic narrative is one of victimhood, meanwhile if i even use the wrong tone cis people will act as a child does, and they will demand that the next trans person they meet apologise

every trans person you meet is aware of this too. we’re all very tuned into the fact that we are ambassadors, and that we never asked to be that. i dont want to have to very carefully consider ‘will a curt answer mean someome later dies’, but every day of my life i do

and cis people need to know that. to be trans is to literally walk on constant eggshells of cis fragility. its why when we see a new trans celebrity we have to desperately hope they dont do stupid fucking shit like caitlyn jenner did. because now everyone thinks trans women are like her. because now negotiations for our right to exist unmolested have gone back another 20 years

and tbh, cis people are pathetically weak. a trans person asked you to use the right name? that did not happen in a vacuum. that trans person has met 50-60 cis people today who refused

My non-lifter friends

When I try to explain them my workout routine and nutrition plan.

1Day 1: Cut out all alcoholic beverages and sodas to cleanse your skin.

Day 2: Cut out unnecessary fast food trips.

Day 3: Go to the gym at least 3x a week so your testorone won’t be so crazy.

Day 4: Get a facial scrub (no this is not just for women).

Day 5:GET OFF THE COUCH. Explore new places and things.

Day 6: Shoot your shot, instead of dreading if she’ll like you. Just GO for it.

Day 7: Get a new hair cut, grow your beard or trim your beard. This small step will boost your confidence.

Day 8: STOP focusing so much on sexual cravings and focus on feeding your soul.

Day 9:Learn what makes you as a Man happy before attempting to please/pleasure a women.

Day 10:Do at least 50-100 push-ups everyday along with sit-ups and see the progress show.

Day 11: Learn to understand not every man will have a “model body” and that’s fine.

Day 12:Try a new book. If not an avid reader Start slow. You will see how your mind expands in conversation. Instead of simply asking “wyd”

Day 13: Dwell into your emotions. Too often as men we have to portray to be this hard, stern human when that’s not true.

Day 14: Go through your boxer/briefs/ tidy whiteys and throw away EVERY PAIR WITH HOLES. Buy underwear that’s snuggling your johnson not putting it in a child hold like Dwayne “the rock” Johnson.

Day 15. Grow to believe in some deity other than yourself. Having a strong spiritual foundation will keep you guided as men.

Day 16: Cut down masturbation, as men we overly masturbate which causes us to lack in pleasuring our significant others.

Day 17: Go out and try something you’ve never thought like a manicure or pedicure to break stigmas that’s still holding you.

Day 18: Take selfies, to many men feel they’re not up to par simply because we don’t find our selves attractive.

Day 19: Buy yourself some flowers and chocolate. Treat the flowers with the same love & compassion you would a woman. If you’re good they’ll grow and well if your love is bad they’ll die.

Day 20: Try out new colognes. Actually get something other than old spice Bro. Anything with Di Jior or that man whose last name is Klein or even that thing that rides the horse called Polo is wonderful.

Day 21: Delete your ex’s contact. Facebook, Instagram , LinkedIn, Gmail, Yahoo messenger …. you get it , just delete and grow to get over that toxic phase.

Day 22: Start cutting off guy “friends” who laugh and mock your self-exploration.

Day 23: Go out and change your wardrobe. Don’t become something you’re not but try on loafers or some sneakers that you never thought you’d wear.

Day 24: try one of those females body scrubs to see if it works on your dry skin.. 🤷🏿‍♂️ why not Bro?

Day 25: Buy yourself something expensive, as men we don’t spend enough on ourselves and save to focus on what might happen.

Day 26: that car you love so much, but things and do things as you would your own body.

Day 27: Buy some clippers and self trim (as stated above try a new beard style) this brings you closer to the confidence……. FYi you will mess up it’s okay bro ….HAIR GROWS BACK.

Day 28: look in the mirror at your 4 week progress from the 50-100 sit-ups and the healthier eating.

Day 29: Take yourself out on a date like you was taking the hottest girl out. Go to that restaraunt , that play/movie. Loving your self alone will make it easier to love a women.

The Barrister’s Boots line of masculine dress boots sized for women, trans men, and non binary people with smaller feet, available in black, light brown, and dark brown.

Tomboy Toes is a seller of formal and semi-formal shoes in sizes intended to fit both women with masculine style as well as people who don’t identify as women but still have a hard time finding men’s-style dress shoes in a size that fits their feet.

me: dONn’t touch those

new guy:

me: they need the toys to function. if they don’t all have toys they get jealous.

new guy:

new guy:

It has become the lucky charm in the IT industry because engineers believe it will make machine acting good (like the name of the snack) and stay in green light (like the color of the snack’s package) when a 乖乖 is put on top of a server.

It is the only food allowed in a server room and the biggest semicondoctor company in Taiwan (which is also the biggest worldwide) even commissioned the snack factory to make a customized version with blessing on the package.

This is how a server room is blessed by 乖乖. You put at least one on top of each server. It’s important that the engineers change them before the expire date because legend says the snack looses it’s power after expire date.

You’ll hear engineers swearing up and down that their server room crushed down the one time they forgot to change the snack.  Or some newbie ate the forbidden snack put on top of their server and caused a disastrous crush down.

The 乖乖 religion later spread to all people who want their machine to act nice. In the lab we put 乖乖 on ultra-low freezer (you really don’t want it to drop dead along with your 2 years’ worth of sample/data), mass spectrometer etc.

When Taiwan’s about to launch the first self made satellite in 2017, the develop team even put 乖乖 around the satellite model to prey for a successful launch (it did). This shit is real.

Broke: Humans are inherently evil

I realize now that it was a book about me dealing with depression before I even knew it. Looking back at how blatant the projecting was, it’s obvious now. It wasn’t then.

In the story, the middle-generation people are lost. They’re apathetic. They’re just a placeholder. The only job they have is to keep the ship running, have kids, and die. As the middle generation of people began becoming adults, suicide rates were skyrocketing. Crime and drug rates were jumping. This generation was completely apathetic because they felt that they had no use.

In the story, a small group of people in the middle-generation create the Weather Project. They turn the ship into a terrarium. They make magnificent gardens and take the DNA of animals they took with them and recreate them and they make this cold, metal spaceship that they have to live their entire lives on into a home. They take what little they have and they break it and rearrange it into something beautiful. They take this radical idea and turn the ship into a wonderful jungle of trees and birds and sunshine.

And I realize now how much it reflects my state of mind as I transitioned from a child into an adult while dealing with depression. You always hear “it gets better” and “when you’re older things will be easier” and I was so sick of waiting for it to get better. I was in the middle-generation stage. And I was sick of it. I was so sick of waiting.

When I was in highschool I didn’t know how to end the story. I didn’t know how to have a happy ending. I didn’t have the life experience then to finish the story in a meaningful way. I didn’t know how to make it better for these middle-generation characters.

But now that I’m older, I’m learning. That if you sit and wait for things to get better, it never will. You have to take your life and break it apart and rearrange it into something beautiful. You have to make the cold metal ship into the garden that you deserve. You have to make your own meaning. You have to plant your own garden.

During one visit, Ruth noticed the nurses would draw straws, afraid to go into one room, its door sealed by a big red bag. She asked why and the nurses told her the patient had AIDS.

On a repeat visit, and seeing the big red bag on the door, Ruth decided to disregard the warnings and sneaked into the room.

In the bed was a skeletal young man, who told Ruth he wanted to see his mother before he died. She left the room and told the nurses, who said, “Honey, his mother’s not coming. He’s been here six weeks. Nobody’s coming!”

Ruth called his mother anyway, who refused to come visit her son, who she described as a "sinner” and already dead to her, and that she wouldn’t even claim his body when he died.

“I went back in his room and when I walked in, he said, “Oh, momma. I knew you’d come”, and then he lifted his hand. And what was I going to do? So I took his hand. I said, “I’m here, honey. I’m here”, Ruth later recounted.

Ruth pulled a chair to his bedside, talked to him

and held his hand until he died 13 hours later.

After finally finding a funeral home that would his body, and paying for the cremation out of her own savings, Ruth buried his ashes on her family’s large plot.

After this first encounter, Ruth cared for other patients. She would take them to appointments, obtain medications, apply for assistance, and even kept supplies of AIDS medications on hand, as some pharmacies would not carry them.

Ruth’s work soon became well known in the city and she received financial assistance from gay bars, "They would twirl up a drag show on Saturday night and here’d come the money. That’s how we’d buy medicine, that’s how we’d pay rent. If it hadn’t been for the drag queens, I don’t know what we would have done”, Ruth said.

Over the next 30 years, Ruth cared for over 1,000 people and buried more than 40 on her family’s plot most of whom were gay men whose families would not claim their ashes.