love is a gamble..

This is the kind of content I joined for

Can Tali and I hang out sometime

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

I’m dead

These are the best.

Reblog the double banana for double luck.

I want double luck

Screw luck I just want this banana

This right here is the realest shit I’ve ever read

Tbh

To anyone dealing with relationship bs, read this

This.

So much this.

I have literally experienced the opposite of all of these.

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

someday someone is gonna be so soft and gentle with your heart, you’re gonna be so glad you kept it open, you’re gonna wonder why you ever thought about quieting it down

Co-napping is a beautiful thing. Knock out with me so I know it’s real

“Less scary”