After a long hiatus, Iâm back.
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Origami Around
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we're not kids anymore.
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@zcabbaj
After a long hiatus, Iâm back.
Content to come.

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Anansi sure knows how to make an entrance.
The second of American Gods, âThe Secret of Spoons,â kicks off with one of the most memorable character introductions in ages. Itâs one of the showâs âcoming to Americaâ vignettes, set aboard a Dutch slave ship on the Atlantic Ocean in 1697, and it highlights that not everyone who arrived in America with their gods came of their own free will. A man named Okoye, shackled and scared, called out to Anansi for help and offered gifts if his prayers were answered.
âLet me tell you a story,â Anansi started softly. âOnce upon a time, a man got fucked. Now howâs that for a story? âCause thatâs the story of black people in America!â
For the next few minutes, the men on the ship (and some of the audience at home) are given a rude awakening. Itâs a blunt and candid summation of what black people in America have waiting for them after reaching those shores for the next few hundred years. Although the men on that ship might have no idea what Anansi means when he tells them what will happen, the audience knows exactly what heâs talking about.
Anansi is an expert storyteller, and in the hands of Orlando Jonesâwho grew up hearing stories of Anansi long before he read American Godsâheâs absolutely captivating. He can enthrall and spin webs, rile up those who listen, or calm them down if he needed to. (In this case, he pulls absolutely zero punches.)
âI was blown away,â Jones told reporters last month during an American Gods press junket. âI joked when I first read it, I was like, âMan I didnât know these guys [showrunners Bryan Fuller and Michael Green] were Black Panthers.ââ
âItâs a brutally honest accounting of obviously the historical elements that come to play,â Jones continued. âItâs in the same way that I think weâre responding to all of our dialogue as the characters in that way that thereâs a core resonating through it that we recognize as completely truthful, and youâre almost like, âAre they gonna let us say this?ââ
They do that and more as Anansi convinces the men on the ship to kill all of the âDutch motherfuckersâ and burn down the ship, which will certainly kill them in the process. And Anansi has a message for them, one that might end up resonating with audiences after the show.
âAngry is good,â he said. âAngry gets. Shit. Done.â [x]
A personal struggle
My piece of shit (POS) ex-boyrfriend
Over the course of approximately one and a half years of talking, dating and various attempts to maintain a friendship with my last boyfriend, I finally realized nothing would ever work â not romance, not platonacy, not sex.
He had come with a bunch of warning signs and red flags â many of which I had carefully considered and put to rest because I thought I was dealing with a quality person. However, it took me all of this time to realize that he had been awful to the people in his life throughout his life and when I first met him, he was at his highest, most unselfish and externally considerate juncture yet.
Even then, it was a far cry from ideal.
What he took me through was the worst I'd experienced yet â and he never admitted to or apologized for any of it, even when the last of any correspondence dissolved.
From our first meeting to our last, he took me on a winding journey with him â filled with drug addiction, sex addiction, unsafe sex, selfish sex, an STI scare, psychotic symptoms, a plethora of lies and a cesspool of toxic narcissism.
The last straw?
When we were still sexually intimate but not in a relationship, another woman spent the night with him and I found out when I showed up at his apartment â because we had planned an outing. He refused to let me in (despite repeatedly saying several times that I had a standing invitation at his apartment), blew off our plans and somehow made it my fault.
Sorry, that DNA test doesnât make you Indigenous
[IMAGE: Kim TallBear, author of âNative American DNAâ, is an associate professor at the University of Alberta.]
So you send your DNA off to an ancestry company, and get a report back that says youâre âpart Nativeâ. So what?
Maybe youâre excited to learn about your ancestry, but can you really consider yourself part of that culture?
Not really, says Kim TallBear.
âWe construct belonging and citizenship in ways that do not consider these genetic ancestry tests. So itâs not just a matter of what you claim, but itâs a matter of who claims you.â
TallBear is an Indigenous scholar based at the University of Alberta. Sheâs reacting to a particular advertisement for DNA ancestry tests, that shows a woman who learns she is â26% Native, and canât wait to learn more about âherâ heritageâ. It got regular play in Canada during Major League Baseball playoffs this year.
But learning about oneâs âNative ancestryâ is not simple. For one thing, âNativeâ is a pretty broad term: whose culture does she learn? Inuit? Maya? Coast Salish? The tests donât give you that much detail.
And, TallBear says, even if you âchoseâ a specific Nation, having some matching genetic markers from ages ago doesnât mean you have the lived experience to become part of that community.
âPeople who are not actually members of Indigenous communities, tend to define Indigeneity as a racial category. Now for us, those are umbrella categories which help us talk to one another, relate to one another, but our primary sense of belonging, and identity, is our particular Indigenous or tribal community. They donât use the word tribe up here, but in the U.S. we do, so somebody might say âIâm a member of the MĂŠtis Nation,â or âIâm a member of this particular Cree band,â I would say Iâm Dakota.â
Keep reading
Help spread this but dont post it on Facebook as it has takes down the video. Spread this and make sure word gets out.
For more information:Â http://www.peoplesworld.org/article/u-s-army-corps-says-no-plans-for-forcibly-removing-standing-rock-water-protectors/ Help out here:Â http://sacredstonecamp.org/supply-list/

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Itâs no surprise that in the U.S. landscape, Latinas are still seen as hot, hypersexual women with copious fertility and uncontrolled reproduction. But these sexuality and reproduction myths and stereotypes mixed with real cultural pressures to be a mother can be harmful to asexual Latinas â individuals who experience very little sexual attraction to others, sometimes none at all.
Really great writing!
I am so reading this.
Vote for Black Power
The Black is Back Coalition will hold the National Black Political Agenda for Self-Determination Convention in Washington D.C., Nov. 5 and 6. Poor and working class Black people in Florida are struggling to go to the convention â people who work tirelessly and still struggle to feed their families. While the convention itself is free, the costs to travel, house and feed these people (and in some cases their families) prevents them from attending the conference.
These are people who genuinely want to attend and cannot because of financial inability. In an effort to cover the costs for people who want to attend, they created a gofundme page.
If you can, please help by donating money to support these costs. If you canât donate, please boost this and share the link.Â
https://www.gofundme.com/2v6kgis
For more information about the Black is Back Coalition, please follow the link below:
blackisbackcoalition.org
Vote for Black Power
The Black is Back Coalition will hold the National Black Political Agenda for Self-Determination Convention in Washington D.C., Nov. 5 and 6. Poor and working class Black people in Florida are struggling to go to the convention -- people who work tirelessly and still struggle to feed their families. While the convention itself is free, the costs to travel, house and feed these people (and in some cases their families) prevents them from attending the conference.
These are people who genuinely want to attend and cannot because of financial inability. In an effort to cover the costs for people who want to attend, they created a gofundme page.
If you can, please help by donating money to support these costs. If you canât donate, please boost this and share the link.Â
https://www.gofundme.com/2v6kgis
For more information about the Black is Back Coalition, please follow the link below:
blackisbackcoalition.org
I really hate respectability politics.
What's wrong with Gandhi?
Where do I begin?
- Criticized the Jews for defending themselves against the Holocaust because he insisted that they should have committed public mass suicide in order to âshameâ the Germans instead of fighting back. His exact words were, âBut the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcherâs knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from the cliffs. As it is, they succumbed anyway in their millions.â
- Wrote an open letter to the British people in 1940 telling them to surrender to the Axis even if it mean accepting genocide.
- Was very anti-black. I hope you can stomach reading how he treated black people in South Africa. Itâs fucking disgusting.
- Refused his wife life-saving medication (for religious reasons), but those religious reasons all of a sudden no longer applied to him when he was in a similar position.
- Refused to have sex with his wife for the last 38 years of their marriage. He felt that in order to test his commitment to celibacy, he would have beautiful young women (including his own great niece) lie next to him naked through the night. His wife, whom he described as looking like a âmeek cowâ was no longer desirable enough to be a solid test.
- Believed that Indian women who were raped lost their value as a human.
- During his time as a dissident in South Africa, he discovered that a young male was harassing two of his female followers. He responded by cutting the girlsâ hair off to ensure the âsinnerâs eyeâ was âsterilized.â He later boasted about the incident in his writings, pushing the message to all Indians that women should carry responsibility for sexual attacks upon them.
- Argued that fathers could be justified in killing daughters who had been sexually assaulted for the sake of family and community honor.
- Believed that menstruation was a manifestation of the distortion of a womanâs soul by her sexuality.
- Waged a war against contraceptives, labeling Indian women who used them as whores.
- Held the attitude that women were simply creatures that could bring either pride or shame to the men who own them.
Sources:
Websites:  Women Suffer From Gandhiâs Legacy,  People who most likely chose Gandhi as a historical figure to do a report on and immediately regretted it, On Mahatma Gandhi, his pathetic racism and advancement of segregation of black people by Sentletse Diakanyo, Not All Peaceful: 13 Racist Quotes Gandhi Said About Black People by Nick  Chiles
Books: Sex and Power by Rita Banerji, On Pacifism by Derrick Jensen, Â The Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi
Gandhi was a piece of shit and I hate when people site him as this peaceful angelic type of dude..
#TEAMFUCKGANDHI
And history writes him as the reason got its independenceâŚ. but it was the âviolentâ darker skinned radicals who fought against European powers who were the major catalysts (but their names are forgotten in global history).

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Policing Blackness
Iâve seen several posts (on Tumblr and Facebook primarily) where black people will engage in dissecting and policing blackness--and most often, the person is a black woman.
DO NOT DO THAT, ITâS FUCKING TOXIC. We all have different experiences for one reason or another. By all means, call out tom foolery. Call out coonery.
DO NOT POLICE WHO IS AND IS NOT BLACK. You do not get a say in who is and is not black. That is not your right nor is it right for you to do. There are white-passing black people (men and women). Get over it. They are still back. There are racially ambiguous black people. Get over it. They are still black.
Do they know the dark skinned struggle? Nah. Does that mean they ainât fuckinâ black? No, it doesnât. It means they have a different lived experience. This is not rocket science or advanced physics.
Black women can look like Erykah Badu, Rashida Jones, Taraji P. Henson, India Arie and Alek Wek. We can be white-passing and still be black. We can be light-skinned and still be black. We can have naturally straight or curly hair textures and still be black. All of this is within the African Diaspora. You do not get to police who is included and who is not. Period.
Stop forcing your daughters to hug the family molester. The molester that every adult in the family knows about but swept it under the rug years ago, because we as Black people already have enough issues to deal with, so we HAVE to keep the family together, right? Wrong. Â
This idea that we are protecting the family structure is something I like to call âPolitics of the Black Familyâ
So letâs talk about it. I mean really really talk about it. Letâs talk about how 60% of Black women experience sexual abuse from the hands of a Black man by the age of 18. Talk about what messages we are sending.. one that doesnât uplift the entire family structure, it instead fucks up the minds of black people and the main victim is the black woman. It sends a message to not to break up the family with these âallegationsâ. It sends a message that her pain is the lesser of the issues. It sends a message that we as Black women have to be more black than we are woman.
This past weekend I attended the Young People For National Summit. As always it poured into my life, and I got a chance to listen to perspectives that I hadnât heard before. One that stuck with me is the idea that we as americans donât value personal space, and we actually devalue it  so much that we take it upon ourselves to hug as we see fit and if someone doesnât embrace us back they are considered rude.
Taking this a step deeper we send that same message to children. I know this is true for the Black family where we grow up hearing âGo give your grandpa a kiss or give your uncle a hugâ and if we as a child donât want to do those things that is followed up with stop acting like that, and we are then forced to do it anyway. Taking the power away from the child who could then internalize a message that they donât have control of their own body.
So then, if that same uncle, grandpa, family friend, or step dad becomes the perpetratorâŚif they become this monster what does this child know to do when she has been told she doesnât have control of her body anyway. She has been told to âBe niceâ as if it is mean to not want to give someone access to your body whether it is an innocent hug or not.
Then abuse occurs, pain occurs, silencing occurs and a cycle repeats. So question what we have all grown up in. Question what messages you send, no matter how innocent the intentions. Think deeply about the structures we fall victim to, even within the Black community. & Donât ever be so black that you forget to be woman. Protect your woman, it is as much you as your melanin.
-Polish&Politics, Regennia Johnson
@blavityreads @blackgirlswithelegance @blackgirlsclub @blackwomenconfessions @mydamncurls @kinks-n-curls @blackwomenworldhistory @blackguysloveblackgirls
If you've ever wondered what the âbig dealâ is about racist fetishes, this horrifying information about the objectification of East Asian women will show you exactly why they're a problem.
Recently, a friend and I were talking about growing up Asian American in predominantly white neighborhoods and schools, and she told me that when she was in fifth grade, boys teased her on the playground by saying that she had a âsideways vagina.â
This has happened to me, too â and Iâm sure to so many other Asian girls.
From racist humor in mid-1800s brothels to todayâs playground jokes, the race and gender identity of Asian women is seen as so foreign, so âalien,â that our vaginas magically defy biology.
Throughout my life, Iâve received unwanted comments and questions about my body, specifically my anatomy, including being harassed on the street with calls like, âNi hao,â âKonichiwa,â âAre you Chinese, Japanese, or Korean,â and recently, âHi Ling Ling.â
On top of that, in my dating history, I was expected to be more quiet and less assertive.
The hyper-sexualization and fetishization of East Asian women is problematic â I am not âluckyâ that my race and gender is imagined as sexy and exotic, that Asian women âall so beautiful.â
Or that, an image search of âAsian womenâ pulls up excessive pictures of women posing in lingerie.
Racial fetishes are about objectification, fetishizing an entire group of people â in this case Asian women, means reducing them down to stereotypes instead of recognizing their full personhood.
Beyond just personal preferences or âhaving a type,â racial fetishes project desired personality and behavior onto an entire racial or ethnic group.
The fetishization of Asian women even has a name, âyellow feverâ â as if the obsession with Asian women were also a disease.
When my identity as an âAsian womanâ becomes the only thing thatâs important to someone in an interaction, thatâs a problem.
This is different from an interracial partnership where all partners are equally respected. Fetishizing someoneâs race and gender means not caring about someone as an individual.
So, where did the fetishization and objectification come from? How did Asian women get the hypersexualized stereotypes of being docile and submissive or being dangerous and seductive?
While today, some people might think of fetishes and sexual stereotypes as ânot a big deal,â the history behind these tropes is rooted in violence and war, which get oppressively reimagined by mainstream media and entertainment.
Below are five ways East Asian women became fetishized and how that fetishization horribly impacts our lives.
1. Mainstream Media Creates the Submissive âLotus Blossomâ and Evil âDragon Ladyâ Stereotypes
â[S]mall, weak, submissive and erotically alluringâŚSheâs fun, you see, and so uncomplicated. She doesnât go to assertiveness-training classes, insist on being treated like a person, fret about career movesâŚâ âTony Rivers, âOriental Girlsâ, Gentlemanâs Quarterly, 1990
Growing up, Lucy Liu was one of the only East Asian women I saw on TV and in movies. It was her, the Yellow Power Ranger (Thuy Trang), and Mulan.
For me, Liu is badass â both for being one of the only Asian American actresses in mainstream Hollywood and also for playing roles that literally kick ass.
However, many of her roles throughout the 90s and early 2000s, such as Ling Woo on Ally McBeal or as O-Ren Ishii in Kill Bill, were also ones that showed Asian women as beautifullyevil, aggressive, and also mysterious.
Asian women are often stereotyped as either the dangerously cunning âDragon Ladyâ that seduces White men, leading to their inevitable downfall, or as the submissive âLotus Blossom.â
Both are meant to be demeaning and demonizing.
While there are exceptions, for the most part, mainstream media has created one dimensional, sexualized representations of Asian women that have affected the way theyâre perceived by others.
Chinese actress Anna May Wong, the first Asian American actress to be internationally famous in the 1920s, was often cast in stereotypical supporting roles â and passed over for leading roles of Asian characters, which were given to white actresses in yellowface.
One of her most recognized characters was the demure, respectful Lotus Flower in The Toll of the Sea. The demure, subservient, and delicate âLotus Blossomâ stereotype is intended to cast Asian women as âless than,â both in terms of race and gender.
These stereotypes are seriously harmful. In the US, up to 61% of Asian women experience physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner during her lifetime.
Being docile is specifically about being deferent and obedient, especially to the authority of men.
As our race, gender, and sexuality become ruled by Western and male fantasy, in order to serve men sexually, Asian women must both be âfeminineâ and âheterosexualâ and also either submissive and/or hypersexual.
These double stereotypes of âLotus Blossomâ and âDragon Ladyâ reflect the ways that Asian women become transformed into either a sexual servant or embodied as a sexual adventure.
2. Labeling Products âOrientalâ Leads to the Objectification of East Asian Women as Exotic Commodities
Have you heard of Oriental rugs or Oriental lamps? What do those have in common? Theyâre objects.
âOrientalâ was used as an adjective by âthe Westâ to describe âthe East.â And now, itâs often represented as anything with dragons, lotus blossoms, red lanterns, and other âmysticalâ symbols from the âFar East.â
The historical and media image and idea of âOrientalâ also ends up lumping together all âAsian womenâ as East Asian and also conflates Chinese, Japanese, and Korean identities.
The âOrientalizingâ of Asian women is a historical process where race, gender, class, immigration status, and also empire all play a role.
Since trade routes that opened up in the 1200s, notably the Silk Road, White adventurers sought to find exotic goods in the âFar Eastâ â not only spices and fabrics, but women as well. (Netflixâs recent series Marco Polo retells this âWhite-guy-in-Asiaâ story.)
As seemingly faraway cultures and places begin being defined by objects and artifacts, these so-called exotic aesthetics end up getting imposed onto people and their physical appearance.
Similarly, Asian women become defined by their âjet black hair,â âdark almond eyes,â or âpetite figure,â and thatâs part of that objectification.
Like a porcelain vase, Asian women are often seen as decorative and fragile. Transformed intopassive commodities of sex, our bodies must also be seen as weak and submissive â dainty, delicate, and small.
This shows up in everyday ways that men perceive sex with Asian women as something to collect. Thereâs a scene in Wedding Crashers where Vince Vaughn screams, âThat was my first Asian!â Sadly, that line is used often in real life.
Like many other Asian women who have tried online dating, when I was on OKCupid, I received messages such as, âIâve never been with an Asian before. Are you as exotic in bed as you look?â or âYouâre a beautiful, delicate flower. Do you need someone to protect you?â
These expectations and demands on our external bodies also end up getting internalized â my identity as both Asian and a woman is constantly under scrutiny.
3. Exclusive Immigration Policies Create Perception of Asian Women as âImmoralâ
Immigration policies affected the ways Asian women were perceived by White Americans.
Specific to the US, one example comes from Chinese American history. During the 1800s, most of Chinese people in the US were immigrant men working as low-cost laborers. The sexual interactions of Chinese immigrants were controlled by immigration laws and laws that prohibited interracial sexual relationships.
Many Chinese women who immigrated to the US around that time were women that were deceived and kidnapped or trafficked into serving this group of Chinese men.
Eventually, they also established White clientele, and racial stereotypes began to emerge that Chinese women were luring White men towards sin and expanded the trope of people in the sex industry as irresponsible and dangerous.
âYellow Perilâ anti-Chinese immigration sentiments also created the threatening perception of Asian women as âgreedy, devious, and immoral.â The Page Act of 1875 prohibited âundesirableâ immigrants from entering the US.
Other acts, like the âGentlemenâs Agreementâ discontinued passports for Japanese laborers to the US and Hawaii. However, it allowed women and children to join husbands, leading to over 10,000 Japanese and Korean women came to the US as arranged âpicture brides.â
This practice was looked down upon by White Americans, adding to anti-Japanese sentiment at that time.
After World War II, Congress also passed the War Bride Act, where those serving abroad were allowed to bring Japanese and European wives home and Americans saw Japanese wives as virtuous homemakers.
Yet, while Asian men with picture brides were decidedly immoral, it was acceptable for White American soldiers to have war brides.
Today, the fantasy of having an overseas Asian wife continues through the âmail order brideâ industry, which continues to both commercialize women and put them in vulnerable positions. In this industry, women can literally be âreturned and exchanged.â
4. US Military Representations in Pop Culture Construct Asian Women as Subservient to White Men
â The Problem of Miss Saigon makes us believe that we are worth less, that it is only through the white loverâs touch that we may be conferred a fuller humanity.â âKai Cheng Thom
While the âEast meets Westâ narrative is centuries overdone, literary and film history plays a role in the construction of Asian women as subservient.
In 1887, Pierre Loti wrote the novel Madame Chrysantheme about a French officer going to Japan to find a âdaintyâ and âdelicateâ woman ânot much bigger than a doll.â
This becomes the main basis for Pucciniâs 1904 opera Madame Butterfly. The gist is that an American soldier travels to Japan and takes on a Japanese wife.
He leaves her to return to legitimately marry a White American woman, and she ends up killing herself.
This storyline repeats itself in various films with settings across locations throughout Asia. Later, the 1989 musical Miss Saigon resets the narrative in Vietnam.
The problem with the Miss Saigon and Madame Butterfly storyline is that in these novels, plays, and films, Asian women from different places end up homogenized and literally depicted as ornamental objects created for the sole purpose of White menâs pleasure.
Later films and novels like The World of Suzie Wong embellished the Western soldier seeks Asian bride narrative by adding a savior element âAsian women needed to be rescued and protected by White men.
This narrative is something that Iâve internalized. Iâve found myself wondering in previous relationships and never truly being able to articulate out loud: Are you just trying to experience what itâs like being with an Asian woman? Are you just with me because Iâm Asian?
As it turns out, these fictional tales and stories are also a big part of history.
5. War and Military Presence Produce Even More Sexual Violence
Throughout history, the sexual violence against women is used as a wartime weapon and women are seen as part of the âspoils of war.â
In World War II, Japan enslaved approximately 200,000 women across Asia, including Korea, China, Taiwan, Indonesia, and the Philippines to provide sex for its troops. Women were raped by multiple men every day.
After Japan surrendered to the United States, US occupation authorities approved of continuing the system for US troops, setting up a network of brothels under a âRecreation and Amusement Association.â
Military presence impacts local economies â for women who are poor, the sex industry offers an opportunity to make a living.
US military presence in Asia led to the creation of local sex industries and sex trafficking rings that would serve soldiers. Some of the first encounters soldiers ever had with Asian women were around the idea that these women were there to serve them sexually.
By the end of the Vietnam War, around 300,000 South Vietnamese women were working within the sex industry.
Although many women suffer horrible working conditions including assault and violence, institutions are more interested in turning women into commodities to serve military clientele then in the wellbeing of the women.
Also, thanks to Stanley Kubrickâs Full Metal Jacket, the experiences of these woman have been reduced down to one line: âMe so horny. Me love you long time.â Strangers will ask me on the street or in bars, âWill you love me long time?â
This historical violence carries on its legacy today in large scale ways. Human trafficking of domestic and sex workers continues to exploit women as commodities.
Over 30,000 Asian women are trafficked into the US each year.
Wars against Japan, Korea, the Philippines, and Vietnam have also created national imagery that gets represented in pop culture and then get internalized by any Americans who may not know any Asians or Asian Americans.
Asian nations and the people from them are perceived as both dangerous as well as desired objects of conquest.
***
The objectification and fetishization of Asian women comes out of devastating wars and exclusionary immigration practices that get re-transcribed by books, movies, and other mass-consumed media.
While some folks might think that these sexual stereotypes are a âcomplimentâ or âpositive,â the ongoing violence perpetrated against Asian women as a direct result of these stereotypes get overlooked.
Objectification is about being seen as less than human. As unworthy of anything else but a singular use and function.
Asian and Asian American women continue to be objectified sexually through cultural consumption and misrepresentation in ways that also have negative day-to-day impacts, from commuting to dating.
Unspoken words
A hello and howdy-doo to all my followers.
Iâve been quiet for quite some time for a number of reasons. Mostly, Iâm pretty bad a time management--especially when my job suddenly takes up more energy than I alotted for it.
The other side: I have about 5 different things Iâve been researching and one turdfest that my personal life has dropped on me within this past month. Top three subjects: Hillary Clintonâs Racist ass and pulling out ALL of the receipts for that one; the three girls killed by police action/inaction in Florida and their coverup of wrongdoing; Margaret Sanger and sanitizing her history as a eugenicist, racist and white supremacist.
Theyâre all breath require a lot of research (read: time) and I simply havenât had it.
Iâll be working to bring you all something so we can have these conversations. Thank you for your patience thus far and I hope youâll still be here when I update.
So, letâs talk about Lemonade
Itâs exhausting. Rewarding. Thick with meaning. Dualities. Juxtapositions. Full of carefully-laced narratives.
And it is a distinctly African womanâs story.
There is nothing else it could be.
Thereâs a whole train of thought/speculation which very much believes that this entire album is about Beyonce and Jay-Zâs relationship (and a stream of infidelities on Jay-Zâs part). That is something Iâm not going to touch whatsoever. I donât care to delve into peopleâs personal lives, especially the lives of people who are celebrities. I will only address it as the narrative of this album.
First off: it hurts. I empathize with this far too much to be able to distance myself from it in any respect.
The warning signs of infidelity and cheating.
The Prayers and beseeching to God.
The feelings of betrayal laced with a fervent love of the men in her life: her partner and her father.
The power she demonstrates and uses repeatedly.
The verbose apathy...
The decidedly personal elements of raw emotion often reflected in Beyonceâs vocals, the shared videos from Beyonceâs life, the resonating moments of poetry and often mixing these elements so that they worked in tandem ... It was overpowering and Iâm exhausted from experiencing it.
It somehow managed to take me through the torrent of emotions Iâve felt over the past two years -- how I felt with the murders of Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Sandra Bland, etc.; how Iâve realized being black in a white-supremacist world has decidedly shaped my life and my understanding of it; the hot anger from the failed relationships; the dismay of still missing romantic partners even after the fact; and in my opinion the most impactful recurring theme was the continuous prayers to God about this relationship and her partnerâs continuous infidelity.
This is something that resonates so heavily with me because I was born into and raised as a thoroughly Christian young lady: fancy dresses on Sunday; participating in childrenâs choir, young adults choir and adult choir; learning the Bible and committing it to memory; becoming thoroughly indoctrined into conservative Christianity. I didnât decide to leave Christianity until I turned 26 years old and as such, being a conservative Christian shaped my life and understanding of the world.
Being a black, conservative, Christian young woman was a task all by itself: it was carefully dictated that my sexuality was to be hidden, even from me; I was supposed to wait for marriage until I had sex. If I never got married, I was never supposed to have sex -- sex would be the end of my girlhood, it would change the relationship I had with my parents. If I had sex, I would never have this hypothetically amazing man that God had for me. If I had sex, that relationship was absolutely doomed to fail.
In general, girls aresupposed to be less boisterous, more demure. They canât demonstrate physical strength because that was unladylike; they canâtbe too good at anything lest I intimidate the boys or men.
It was a constant list of things that I had to be or become to get the man of my dreams. It was pressure to be all of the things for one man who may never come. And in my case, this man never came.
The entire time I was a practicing Christian woman, the men werenât interested in me. They never asked me out (a good, Christian woman will wait for men to decide to date them because God gives all good relationship ideas to men *rolls eyes*) and I rarely dated when I was in church (I think I dated three men as a practicing Christian woman). I spent the better part of 26 years in church and in that entire time, none of the men or boys in any of the churches I attended, decided that I was a great idea. Not one.
Those were the years I cried out to God because of my loneliness and emptiness--I was literally praying for a good man. Marriage was and is endgame for single women in conservative Christianity. The overwhelming majority of churches will promote âwomen are supposed to get married and have childrenâ in that order and that every woman who gives birth outside of wedlock (marriage) is an atrocity. Add to the mix that black women are supposed to have black babies and are generally stereotyped as unwed mothers and the systemic pressures multiply exponentially.
Every time Beyonce called out to God in prayer or questioned God how circumstances became so sordid, it resonated with me very, very personally.Â
The constant seeking to better yourself, to become more desirable to men--black men especially -- resonated with me. Thereâs this whole thing of being everything: of being a good Christian girl -- but if youâre too good and too Christian, literally no man will date you. You must be sexual, but not too sexual because men want to enjoy you but want to be the only ones to enjoy you. Conversely, you cannot withhold sex because black women are supposed to be sexually available--whether they actually are available or not. If you withhold sex entirely, youâre undesirable. If you give sex freely, youâre labelled a different kind of undesirable -- where men will sleep with you, but that is all you are to them: a sex-thing. You must be talented, but if you are too talented you become intimidating and scare away the men you had intended to attract. Thereâs more but I will stop there for now.
All of this is important because as a black woman, you can be all of these things and your partner can still turn to someone else who offers substantially less. With Lemonade, the relationship weâre referencing is Jay-Z and Beyonceâs -- but itâs a very loose, hypothetical situation. Beyonce does not take the time to distance herself from this album -- she speaks in the first person throughout its entirety and never amends that. So on some level, this is personal, however, the line between personal and artistic is heavily blurred.
Even so, weâre talking about the black relationship of two black people who are both a part of black culture. The consistent refrain is that Jay-Z, the black male in the relationship, stepped out on Beyonce, a light-skinned black female (ho has been held up as the epitome of black women for some time now), to gallivant off with some woman (possibly series of women) who has Euro-centric features -- the most obvious reference being âcall Becky with the good hair.â
It is a real fear for many black women, including myself, that their partners are ultimately seeking their white/Euro-centrically beautiful counterpart. Beyonce, at the end of the day, with all her blonde hair, light skin, amazing body, and great career -- still doesnât compare to a none-black or white woman. Her not nearly as attractive husband stepped out repeatedly thinking that it was a great idea -- and probably with some non-black woman. Way to go bro. Way to go. Thatâs not a cliche--not even a little bit.
This album, goes through the entirety of that realization: itâs deeply personal and it hurts. I listened to it but damn. I feel exhausted afterwards. I need a security blanket some hot chocolate in a corner after this.
The stand it took was with African/black women. Note: women. Men ainât shit throughout this entire album--in the songs where Beyonce does bring up her fatherâs advice or the father/daughter relationship, itâs serves two purposes. Even as there is an apparent love for her father, she openly tells him that he is kind of the man he tried to warn her about--the and quite possibly, she the kind she married. â... when men like me come around, my daddy said shoot.â
Itâs an album that is rich, full and vibrant, but also dwells with sorrow and loss--and often when all of these different feelings and emotions mixed into each other.

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Commentary on Lemonade
So, letâs talk about Amber Rose
I fully expect this to be the one and only post I ever do about Amber Rose.
Occasionally, Amber Rose surfaces in pop-culture as a trending topic. I donât look into her often, but when I do usually I understand where sheâs coming from, if not agree with the point sheâs trying to make.
Recently, Kanye West called her into a twitter-fight between himself and Wiz Khalifaâand she shut it down entirely. And as amusing as that is and no matter how much I identify with the things she said and does â thereâs one thing about her that bothers me.
Amber Rose has repeatedly denied being a black woman. âPortuguese, Scottish, Italian and Irishâ or more often, âCape Verdean.â
Yet she clearly appears to have features heavily associated with blackness: full lips, an olive complexion (relatively common in black people), a thick, very curvy body, and a large round butt. The icing on the cake:Â she has an African mom. She still says, âIâm not black.â
Many of the descriptors she uses for herself are nationalities that do not define her race. Itâs as if stating countries which a possess white populations and/or have substantial European influence is a free pass on blackness â As if black people didnât live in Portugal, Scotland, Ireland or Cape Verde. As if her mom didnât wasnât African.
But rest assured: her mother is African and she is brown-skinned.
Cape Verde, where Amber Roseâs mother is from, is an island off the coast of Western Africa. Itâs an African Country. Africans have been there since the Portuguese trafficked African (black) slaves from the African continent in 1456.
And because of the heavy European influence and racial mixing in Cape Verde, theyâre considered a mixed people â And According to Amber Rose, she views herself as Creole:
âWith my family, they feel like theyâre more superior or better than an African American because weâre Creole and we have culture and thatâs something I battle with most of my life.â (source)
Amber Rose was born and raised in America. Her mother is a brown-skinned (black) African woman, she has a white father (Irish and Italian descent), and because she has light skin, she has people defending her as non-black.
âI do not consider myself a black women, absolutely not. [I consider myself] biracial.â
In the United States (and many other places), any black ancestry easily qualifies a person as black â especially if that person is not white passing and especially if that person has an African mother. Amber Rose is not white passing. Her mother is African. She openly participates in black culture. And still, she hesitates to even use the descriptor âblackâ in reference to herself. In every interview Iâve found and every quote, she is quick to claim her white ancestry but does not even utter âblackâ or âAfrican.â
She denies it.
i feel like she denies it because she doesnât want to take the place of black women in america and act like she understands the struggles of being dark-skinned. i used to think she was white, and visually i donât think she is someone that most people consider black. Â itâs the same reason why i often feel uncomfortable calling myself black (iâm creole and look pretty white apart from my hair) so idk but maybe thatâs where she is coming from
I hate to break it to you but creole often means you have Black/African ancestry--recent at that. I donât want to give you a history lesson (you probably possess more experience than me regarding this anyway), but to my knowledge creole isnât a term used for people who do not also possess African ancestors. Itâs a term born out of wanting to distance from being black of African, but also not being white or white passing.
Iâve always thought of Amber Rose to be a light skinned black woman--long before I knew or investigated her heritage. Her being Scottish, Italian and Irish in addition to African doesnât override that.
Iâm am a mono-racial, light-skinned, black woman. I understand how explaining or justifying your heritage to some stranger is exhausting and certainly leads a person to question themselves and their heritage -- however, itâs still a fact that you are also included in the African Diaspora. The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade stole Africans and placed them all over the world, not all of us are going to fit the stereotype of having âblackâ or African features. In this regard, itâs useful to know that the Continent of Africa has the greatest amount of biodiversity on the planet. Not all Africans fit the stereotype. They never have.
As far as it concerns Amber Rose, I canât speak on her behalf on why she doesnât identify with being black and I wonât speculate on it. However, her dark-skinned, African mom has given her a seat in the African diaspora--whether she claims it or not. Those are my two cents.