Zane's Transition Blog

I’m a very skinny cis male.

I have a higher than a normal cis male pitched voice (but I don’t mind because it fits how I look)

I shave my body hair and so I’m always a smooth boy (it fits the twink aesthetic)

My skin is abnormally soft and smooth and people LOVE touching my arms or hands and being like ‘oh my god you’re so soft’

I wear a lot of feminine clothes and get misgendered as a female constantly. (But it doesn’t affect me cause I don’t have dysphoria)

Also many people see me as so feminine that some assume I’m a trans guy (sometimes a trans girl) (yay gay fem genetics)

Cis guys get misgendered too sometimes! That doesn’t mean they’re less male.

I can’t imagine how hard it is for y’all, so I’m not saying to stop feeling dysphoric because that’s like telling a depressed person to just not be sad or numb.

Just because you get misgendered doesn’t mean you’re any less male.

Cause and effect, actions have consequences.

-take a shower and just. Immediately get dressed and do something

-shower in the morning

-go outside in the summer and just feel cool, no matter what

- Enjoy the BEACH

-need a jacket in the fall bc I won’t have to wear the equivalent of 3 shirts 2 keep my chest flat

-stand up straight

-just feel shirt

-s h i r t

-wipe my face with my shirt at the gym without feeling weird abt there not just being skin underneath

-go for a run shirtless

-sleep shirtless

-I’m never wearing a shirt again

-beat my chest like Tarzan

-u think I take too many selfies now??? Wait 4 shirtless selfies

-have sex with my shirt off

-wear shirts from stores that were too thin before

-wear tank tops

-get a cool rib tattoo and wear window shirts everywhere

-wear white/light colors

-wear v-necks

-leave my top 3 buttons unbuttoned like I’m Ricky Martin

-go swimming shirtless

-walk around the house with no top on

-donate my binder

-breathe easy

-fix my posture

-workout/ do chores shirtless

-wear whatever I like 

-get tan everywhere in the summer

-take douchey selfies

-change my shirt anywhere

-go to sleep with no shirt on

-walk out of the shower with just a towel on

going through your children’s things (phone, journals, backpack)

talking badly aBout your kid to other people

insulting your kid both to their face and behind their back

“this is my house you have no privacy”

hitting your kid

hold on. i know its tough right now. but please keep going. keep fighting. you’re stronger than you know, and one day, everything you’re going through right now will be behind you. and every day brings you a little closer to that.

tomorrow, you will be one day closer to coming out.

one day closer to cutting your hair.

one day closer to buying ur first boy’s t-shirt.

one day closer to getting ur first binder.

one day closer to starting t.

one day closer to your legal name and gender marker change.

one day closer to top surgery.

one day closer to happiness.

and guess what?

next week, you’ll be a whole week closer to all that.

next month? you guessed it! a whole month closer.

next year? dude, you’ll be a whole year closer to everything you want!

you’ve already come so far and i know it’s been hard. i know you feel like giving up. i know some days your dysphoria is so bad and it seems like you can’t wait one day longer.

i promise, you can. every day brings you one day closer. those days will turn into weeks, those weeks into months, those months into years, until finally, you’re there.

you’re telling people you love who you are. they might accept you or they might not. if they do, that’s amazing and im so happy for you. if they don’t, don’t worry. either they’ll come around or you’ll find your own family. people who love you for who you are and wouldn’t change a thing.

you’re running your hands through your newly short hair. it feels good to look at yourself in the barbershop mirror and see that all that hair is gone.

you’re trying on your new clothes in the mirror. you feel more comfortable than you ever have.

you’re ripping open the package and taking out your new binder. you pull it on. it’s snug, but mostly comfortable. your chest is finally flat. you never wanna take it off.

you’re getting your first injection. you’ve never liked shots, but the pros far outweigh the cons for this particular one. an hour later, you’re looking in the mirror to see if anything’s changed yet. it hasn’t, but it will.

you’re filing the paperwork that has your real name on it. you’re at the dmv to change your gender marker. your driver’s license now reflects who you truly are.

youre waking up from surgery. you look down. there’s your chest. it’s as flat as it should’ve always been. recovery will be hard, but it will be worth it. your body is finally yours. your body finally matches your brain. you look back at yourself all those years ago and think, ‘here we are, buddy. we made it.’

When were y’all able to run post-op double incision?

It’s still pretty painful to run at almost 3 weeks and I don’t want to stretch my scars…wbu?

I was told to refrain from physical activity for at least 6 weeks.

I also want to add that I know a lot of post-op folk and I don’t know of a singular person who is going/ has gone around “showing cis people what top surgery scars look like.” Point being, I really wouldn’t stress it. 

Scars are scars. Lots of folks have them. Having scars on one’s chest doesn’t automatically mean someone is trans, as I’m sure you know! Many types of surgeries result in scars nearly IDENTICAL to “top surgery” scars: 

Emergency Thoracotomy   

Minimally Invasive Cardiac Surgery (MICS)

Mitral Value Repair

Gynecomastia Surgery

Lung Transplant

Pectus Excavatum Repair

Mastectomy 

If people are comfortable showing their scars, there’s no need to rain on their parade. The idea that “showing cis people” scars somehow equates to automatically “being outed” when people look your way really perpetuates this toxic ideology of us versus them. People are people, yo. 

Those people you’re imagining on the beach are likely just trying to beach and have a good time, much like you. Seems like a highly improbable scenario you’ve created- the idea that beach goers are at the beach looking for chests to stare down while simultaneously remembering top surgery scars that some random trans person once showed them. Taking that info, putting two and two together, realizing your trans, and then taking the time to care doesn’t sound like an enjoyable or realistic beach experience, in my opinion.  

Understand the concern and desire to not want to be outed, but I think scars have little to do with it! Many people are pre-op or non-op… and they still get outed, so it’s definitely not a phenomenon tied solely, if at all, to the exposure of scars.  Lastly, many cis-females get mastectomies… and it’s not like they’re “outed” as trans every time they remove their shirt. 

Dear anon who is interested in top surgery, 

Time heals all wounds. While you’re busy living and loving, your scars will slowly fade away to nothingness. 

If you’ve ever had a scar from another surgery or injury (or self-injury), it’ll give you a good idea of how your top surgery scars will look. All my self-injury scars from 15 years ago are basically invisible and white, they’re covered by my body hair and only visible in the right light… top surgery scars are similar.