Zachariah Bastiaans

(Because I need closure for my characters at least)

Once news of the Parasite got out, Zach and Pax turned to each other, knowing this wasn’t acceptable, knowing they had to do something to show that this wasn’t okay. It wasn’t either of them suggestion to the other to strike against the NWRF, it was something that went on between them without either of them needing to tell the other. The wave of their plan crashed through the Colony with such incredible commotion that Zach knew there well couldn’t fail. Not even a week later, Pax - and few through Zach - had gotten the Infected to occupy the dining hall. Refusing to do chores, the Infected - and some uninfected - grouped together. It was a nice setting at first, a bit like camping as a teenager, people sitting around everywhere. 

By hour four, some of them had gotten bored, and build a huge wall using all the tables and chairs in the place. Despite few of them knowing how to build, what came out of it, was pretty impressive. 

By hour six, the NWRF came into action. Guards appeared from the main hallway, looking at the gathering with tense faces, studying the mostly below thirty year olds, running around, sitting around, definitely having a great time. Reflection Hour was almost upon them, but none of those who were supposed to be in that class were going to show up. And the guards got slightly frustrated as they shouted at the group to disband. 

Zach had been through the motions often enough, and called out to everyone to continue what they were doing, as long as the guards didn’t turn violent, they had nothing to fear. 

Hour seven came by, and the leader of the guards had had enough, he called for two guards to take one of the Infected away from the group. Which made the strikers come into action, they ran back to the wall, and stood at guard in front of it. Being so close together, the guards didn’t dare to come closer. 

Pax and Zach went through the crowd, handing out snacks, telling people that they were doing fantastic, and pepping them up so they knew they should hold out a little longer. They were winning after all. 

Zach felt alive again, he hadn’t done something like this in years, and he had been waiting for a chance to fight back, to show that it wasn’t acceptable like this. 

When hour eight was upon them, the tension in the room head to a stand-still. The guards had been standing near the door, watching them, when suddenly a new face appeared among them. The Chancellor seemed annoyed by the situation mostly, as Zach had been used of him. But there was something else there too, something more dangerous. He kept his eye on him for a while, until it got clear what the goal was. It was to scare them. 

A gun was raised within a couple of meters from Zach’s face, but it was pointed not at a single person, but as them as a whole. 

“Who is responsible for this?” the Chancellor asked. 

The room grew silent, nobody uttered a word, maybe waiting for someone to actually do. Quinn however, seemed to be content with the silence. 

The other guards behind the Chancellor raised their guns too. 

Tension was thicker in the air than before, to a certain point it crept up until it felt like it would take down the whole room with it. 

Then Zach stepped forward. “I am,” he said quickly and loudly, his chin raised, and he could feel the nervous energy from Pax, now behind him, radiating through his brain. 

The Chancellor also stepped forward, his gun still raised at eye-level, until he was close enough that a shot would be deadly and most likely hit the target just fine. 

The room was no longer quiet, voices from their side of the place rose in anger. He could feel the heat behind him as he stared into Quinn’s cold eyes. it was growing to a boiling point, and he knew he couldn’t keep it from spilling over. 

Suddenly the gun in Quinn’s hand was jerked aside. The man looked shocked, and pulled the gun back, but it fought against his control. 

Zach turned to see Dot heavily concentrating on the weapon, and he shook his head in despair. Because as he had noticed the young woman, so had Quinn, and the Chancellor wasn’t the only one. In the corner of his eye, Zach saw Ricky point his weapon in Dot’s direction, and his mind stopped working. It didn’t matter who it was, it didn’t matter that the consequences would be dire, Zach had to take responsibility, he had to take the bullet so others didn’t have to. So he stepped into the line of fire. 

The bullet completely took him by surprise, even while he knew it was going to appear, and that it was going to rip him apart. It hit his stomach, and he went down, his mind flattering even before he had hit the ground. 

Pax ran to his side as soon as the shot was fired and it had become clear who the victim was. His eyes were wide as he fell down at Zach’s side, but from then on, everything Zach saw was starting to become blurry. Soon before long, he didn’t even recognize who was hanging over his body anymore. 

He heard Andee, she said something about internal bleeding. 

He heard Pax, asking if anyone could do anything about it. 

He heard the room erupting in chaos. 

He heard what he hoped would be revolution. 

He felt Pax’s hand in his own, felt his warm skin against his shoulder, wondered if the two of them had perhaps been friends after all. 

He felt loved. 

He felt as if he was dying too. But for one single happy moment, Zach felt as if people had cared about him after all. Because he knew he had, even if his brain had never understood the full scope of caring, he knew he had. His caring might’ve been different, and it might’ve been why he didn’t think others cared, but he felt Pax’s hand, heard his voice whisper to him, he felt loved. 

And he kept hearing Pax, even when he felt nothing else anymore, he kept hearing Pax talk to him, tell him it was going to be alright. Telling him that glorious revolution was happening all around him. 

But Zach didn’t care about the words anymore, he just cared about the caring. 

teiloembry‌:

[’Enough.’ It’s a classic restless rebel thing. Desperate to prove something, to feel like they’re making a difference. They want to be heard and seen and make themselves impossible to ignore by their opposition. And though Teilo understands the compulsion—it’s human and fair, to yearn for immediate gratification in desperate times—it’s also an approach that is… a little childish, in some cases, and incredibly self important. The problem with activists whose mentalities are act now, talk later, is they are so desperate to be heard that they fail to realize that peace and compromise is a two way street. They have to be willing to listen, if they want others to listen in turn. 

Not to mention, it’s altogether too easy to get caught up in the slippery slope of the mob mentality—two polar, self-serving sides arguing in extremes are never going to find compromise. Peace is utterly unattainable that way—people forget that it’s nearly impossible to simply change someone’s mind so completely. Opposites will always oppose, and standing on either end of a battle field throwing stones and swinging swords can end one way, and one way only: in the complete obliteration of one side, or an eventual surrender. Either way, there is only one winner, and there are too many casualties. And contrary to popular belief, victories through war don’t bring peace—they bring a deadening silence, later to be filled with grievous cries and angry, hearts who now thirst for nothing but revenge. 

And so it begins again. A never ending, unstoppable cycle. 

So no, the only way to truly make change is to come at it from another angle. It can’t be about winning or losing. It has to be about meeting in the middle, making willing sacrifices to avoid losses that would immobilize them all.]

We’re all entitled to our own opinions. And it’s not like I don’t empathize. But by the same token… the truth is, Zach, I don’t think the Reformists are the only ones who are in the wrong here. If we were to totally eliminate the NWRF, the only thing that could follow is the next strongest force—which is nearly always by nature the direct opposition—taking over and forcing the hands of thousands in the other direction. And to be quite candid, if the New World Radicals were to take over, I firmly believe we would be almost exactly where we are now, only with more massacre. It would be just as ugly, just as polarizing—the only difference would be, it’d be the Uninfected who would be captive, or enslaved, or dying. 

Plus the Radicals are… angry and reckless. A lot of them are verging on insane, as far as I can tell. I see nothing good coming of that. At least the Reformists have control enough to keep things like the Trade Agreement running, to keep really vital things happening—fair trade, research, science, development in this new landscape we still know so little about. I think we… need them, in a way. Not in control in the way they are now, of course, but do I think it’s criminal to want to understand these so called Infections? What’s happened to us after the apocalypse? No. Not at all. If anything I think it’s absolutely necessary to the survival of the human race that we do continue to seek to understand. 

So to be honest with you, I agree. We need both. We need both of a lot of things. It’s all about balance, and so by that logic I can’t stand on one side throwing rocks at the other. It’s a waste of time, and if we can’t see that now, history has taught us absolutely nothing. We need to be better than what we were. We have to be better. 

[At Zach’s question, he shakes his head—though sometimes he wonders how good Zach is at listening. It seems like half of what they’d talked about last time is already gone from his head. Some of what they’ve even touched on just now. He supposes that fits the bill, considering the mentality and point of view Zach has been aligning himself with today. It’s all starting to make a little more sense.] 

I’ve told you what I know, for the most part. Any contact I’ve had with them has been indirect, word out mouth, largely. Which is exactly why I wanted to reach out to Pax and Kip.. people who can help us find a way to communicate with a relatively underground presence in other Colonies, see who we can connect with without he NWRF shutting us down. As far as I can tell, there doesn’t seem to be any direct presence of them here. Probably due to the size of this Colony, and its remote nature. I’m thinking they haven’t reached us yet. But I’d like to change that. And I know of a few people, at least, who would stand by my side. 

[Zach didn’t respond right away, he had listened to Teilo, who had a way more coherent and better way with words than he did. He chewed over the meaning, wondered about what he had said in previous conversations, if he had ever said that he wanted to rid the place completely of the NWRF. His mind said that he hadn’t, he had told someone, he wasn’t sure who, that he didn’t believe that getting rid of the existing government was the best option. It wasn’t what activism stood for either. But he knew Pax wanted to, Pax would disagree with Teilo on that. Him, however, he didn’t think the NWRF were completely in the wrong, at least, they weren’t bad people who would do bad things. In his mind, they were just people who weren’t educated enough, who might find they could change their opinion if they were met with learning that the people wanted something else.] 

[However, despite it not being his opinion, as he fully agreed that getting rid completely of the NWRF was a bad choice, since it would only work if they had a good alternative, but still, the NWRF was too big to be completely destroyed, it would leave the world crippled, and if they wanted to rebuild, they would have to use the structures that were already in place. So he listened to it as if the information could strengthen his own beliefs, perhaps he could use those same words to convince Pax, to convince others that it was opinions that needed to be changed, before anything else.] 

I don’t disagree with that. [Zach offered.] It’s not my intention, or belief, that we should overthrow the NWRF. But we can do as they did, use the structures already in place, to make something better. [He paused, it was thinking too far ahead, and he had noticed how Teilo wasn’t much a fan of that.] Activism doesn’t work without a government already in place, there are always those who protest because they want, who want anarchy. But I don’t think that’s what we want, right? We want the testing the way it goes now to stop, we want the Infected to be considered equal, we want everyone to do the chores. We want to make sure it doesn’t get worse for the Infected. Right?

I want to make sure everyone knows this isn’t an acceptable situation. I want it to change, yes, but I’m not going to tell anyone how. I think we should leave that up to people like you, intelligent people, who know understand that structure, who will do what’s best, not because of power or fear, but because they understand and crave to make the world a better place. 

felix-tee‌:

[Hundreds? Who is this bloke? He frowns a little, but it’s mildly so, and he shakes his head gently.] Oh, no. I think you might be thinking Clans? LIke, before the purge? Because before the New Wave I know there were exactly 31 colonies around the world. I think there’s maybe a couple more now that some time has passed and the wastelands have been cleared out of like, non-registered people… but not that many more. 

[’I probably know a lot less about things than you do’. Yeah, Felix was actually starting to see that was true. Which surprised him in some ways, because he’s used to feeling like (or being made to feel like) the least intelligent person in the room, even when he knows in his heart that isn’t true. But he tries not to let himself feel to surprised, because that’s not very good for his ego. Also, he doesn’t want Zach to think Felix is surprised. For all he knows, Felix is used to being the most informed in the room. Honestly, even when he’s not, he definitely always talks like he is, so he has practice playing the part, anyway.

He shrugs at the question.] I mean, no, not really. But Colony 30 wasn’t like here. It was way bigger and like… I don’t know. Technically, we weren’t that spread out, we were in an apartment building. But people didn’t have shared rooms like here, unless it was friends or family. You know, like, on purpose stuff. And there were more people in general and like.. it just felt like there wasn’t really as much reason for everybody to know everybody else, you know? Like there were some classes, but not as much as here, and there was definitely no training or anything like that… so I didn’t actually like, cross paths with as many people as I do here. Also… I don’t know. Something about this place feels more like… um. I don’t know. It feels like an island. Like a community. It wasn’t like that at 30. It was more… separate. But I think that’s how… how the NWRF probably wanted it. 

[He shrugs again, looking over at him.] So… are you glad you’re not Infected then? [He’s dipping his toe in. Trying to figure out if this bloke really is uncomfortable with the Infections, which would mean Felix might be able to speak more freely, or if he’s just trying to set some kind of trap for him.]

[31 Colonies in the world. So little. He wasn’t sure how many people lived in a Colony, but certainly there wouldn’t be millions. And the world once had billions of people. He felt sick thinking about how many had died when the sky fell, and who had died after. How many old people died because they could not care for themselves, how many youngsters had died because they were starving. He kept his face straight however, nodded. Listened.] Wow. Only a little more than 31. [But he kept it there, because he had wanted to know how many people must’ve died, how few were still living. How the NWRF went about caring for the dead, and if they even did. He wondered what percentage of the world population before D-day had survived, how many of them were Infected, but from the way Felix answered the question, he gathered the other might not know either. But to not make him feel stupid, that usually didn’t have the desired effect.] 

Because Colony 22 has a much larger Infected population? [Zach asked, not sure what Felix meant with “how the NWRF probably wanted it”, but he had heard it being said before, and he wondered if it had anything to do with how the people here were treated. Perhaps the amount of control was a lot greater here than anywhere else, perhaps he was meant to end up here.] Did you have the Games there? 

drfitrei‌:

[She gives in a smile in return for his interest in her research.] Not quite. We would modify normal antibodies to bind to tumor antigens and kill them. Normal antibodies respond to external pathogens, which is why the body’s natural immune system can’t fight cancer cells. We would take these antibody proteins, genetically engineer them to kill cancer cells, and reintroduce it to the system. We were making great progress, too, before D-Day happened. [What a waste it was.]

But no one really cares about dying of cancer anymore. [She says it like it’s just occurred to her, like she’s saying it to herself more than anything else.] People used to be afraid of cancer, Alzheimer’s. [She laughs bitterly.] Car accidents. [All things that could, yes, theoretically happen, but only in the uncertain future. Not things you worried about when you knew you could die right here, right now.]

[She nods. People said she was well suited to be a doctor, with her cold intellect and unflappable demeanor. Her occupation was the product of her nature, rather than the other way around. Nevertheless they did have a tendency to feed off one another; her coldness was well-suited for the lab, and the lab in turn kept her just as cold as she liked.]

[Zach really had to pay attention when the Doctor started to talk in more difficult terms. He had never been a great student, but it wasn’t due to not understanding the subject matter, it was merely because if something didn’t interest him, he didn’t take the time to study it. And a lot of things didn’t interest him. So he nodded along, tried to find a metaphor that would help him understand it better.] So you took something already part of the body, taught it some new skills, and introduced it back into the body. But didn’t the body then reject those old parts? 

[It was true, nobody spoke about how to face real disease anymore, they were too occupied with rebuilding and the infections. And it had showed, because when the parasite had come around, they had been ill-prepared to face it. If a group from outside attacked, they would be ill-equipped to fight them. Sure, there were the games, the testing, but all of it held little in regard to actual dangers.] The world as it is now, makes it sort of hard to be afraid of something like cancer. [He paused.] Where a parasite can be introduced into a place without anyone knowing how to stop it. Sometimes I wonder if the parasite was just the next step in the world’s plan to rid the planet of all humans. As if Humanity is personally attacked by Mother Nature, time and time again, to see if we can survive. Or hoping that we can’t. 

occamcomplex‌:

[[ They both drift into silence for a moment, but it’s not uncomfortable – at least, if it’s uncomfortable for Mitch, it’s through no fault of Zach’s. He’d started to go down the rabbit hole of consequences if the NWRF did decide to start splitting the Infected into smaller and smaller classifications, even within their own ability groupings. Mitch is starting to wonder why they hadn’t already, and wonders further if there are divisions within the NWRF itself with varying views on whether the Infections should be used or cured.

Maybe they’re not bothering with further classification because they’re too busy working on a “cure.”

Zach brings him back from that dark line of thought with a couple of questions that surprise Mitch, probably evident in the way his brow slides from furrowed to arched. It isn’t just the question but the way it’s phrased, and the sort of light it paints the Reformists in.

As such, Mitch keeps his answer careful and even, but always truthful. ]] Well… for now, their emphasis is on control. [[ He doesn’t go deeper into the fact that his training sessions are carefully monitored, and occasionally edited to better suit Reformist comfort zones. ]] They might not get their wish of being rid of the abilities altogether, [[ Mitch adds, his own voice lowering to match Zach’s for the sake of the conversation. ]] But the next best thing is ensuring those of us who do have them don’t lose control.

[[ Although, Mitch has to wonder: which is more dangerous, an ability out of control in a climate of such heightened emotions? Or one painstakingly curated to the strength and precision Mitch has, or Kaiser, or some of his better students? He shakes those questions off, inclining his head curiously towards Zach instead. ]] Is there a particular reason this all interests you? [[ His tone is far from accusatory; he’s just not used to so many questions about abilities and the NWRF from an Uninfected, even if Zach had shown more interest than most the first time they met. ]]

[He’s a tiny bit surprised when Mitch did not refrain from answering, giving Zach answers with a lacking confidence as well lack of words. But he hadn’t expected him to answer at all, so it was more than nothing. He nodded, solemnly, pretending to feel bad about asking the question in the first place. But it was clear that Mitch didn’t want to be as outspoken, their last conversation had been similar in that regard. But he couldn’t blame the man, as he neither blamed Cambie for being careful. Right now he wasn’t too sure about the government he wanted to oppose to know what steps were considered correct and which weren’t. To him, however, talking about it with others didn’t make him dangerous. It just made him overly-curious, and with that he could live. He was already a security level 3, they were already aware of his status as former-activist. It fitted with his personality not to take things for granted.]

I’m naturally curious. [Zach informed the older man, a playful grin on his face. Then took a slight pause.] I always try to figure a place out, as much as I can. I haven’t been here long yet, and some of the things are still clouded in mystery to me. So I ask questions, see if I can understand the full-scope of the Colony, maybe of the Colony system as a whole. [He continued, trying to find less formal than his words were. But he figured he wasn’t the only one hoping to understand what place he had ended up in. He also knew that the only way to get rid of the system was to understand the system. The fuller his understanding, the easier it might be to change things without violence.] 

books-xnd-cleverness‌:

Whether or not Zach’s interest was genuine, whether or not this was still a test, Jo was more than happy to follow this conversation. She didn’t have the energy, or maybe the courage to discuss rebellion at the moment, but history she could do all day. Hell, she would’ve been glad to talk about bacteria or math or even Karl Marx so long as they kept away from those more dangerous subjects.

That said, she was hesitant to dive too enthusiastically into the fascinating details of history. On more than one occasion she’d been told that she could be a terrible bore. ‘Lecture mode’, Rose had affectionately called it. Other friends were…less kind. And all of them had at least been history majors. The people who weren’t tended to zone out completely. All that feedback had conditioned Jo to watch herself, lest she dive too far down the rabbit hole. She went slow, careful to gauge the reaction of whoever was on the other end, and pulled back when she sensed she’d gone too far.

“I think people prefer studying big bangs to more gradual changes. Stuff like wars, protests, big political upheavals, they’re a lot more flashy.” Humans, like crows, were drawn to flash. Big statements, grand events, monolithic monuments. There’s a reason so many of the world’s wonders had been called ‘Great’. Great in size, in effort, in impact. She vaguely wondered how many of those monuments still stood. They’d been made to withstand the test of time, but giant meteors? Not so much. “And don’t get me wrong, that stuff’s cool. I just…I’ve never been a fan of violence.”

Probably why she was so rubbish at the whole ‘revolution’ thing, honestly. It wasn’t that she disapproved of it, or thought that the ends it produced were always bad. When necessary and used right, the things achieved could be wonderful. Great, even. But she’d spent so much of her life reading bloody pages. Violence never came without a price, and not a cheap one at that. The things achieved might’ve been worth it, but there were only so many times that price could be paid. She’d already faced the charge twice; she didn’t know if she could do it a third.

In all honesty, many centuries could be described as ‘the century of discovery’. More inventions had probably come out of the 20th and 21st century than all of previous history combined. And the Renaissance had certainly produced a great leap in art, science, and philosophy. Hell, they’d dubbed people of multiple talents ‘Renaissance men’ after the era (and perhaps the man Leo himself, but that was another discussion all together). That said, the 19th century couldn’t be left out. All the products of the following years wouldn’t exist without the revolution of factories and steam power and machines. That’s why it was called the Industrial Revolution, after all. Or, the First one, anyway. “One of them,” Jo agreed. “We owe everything we have now to the inventions of that era. The revolution of machine manufacturing alone changed the entire way we produced goods, which in turn turned the whole of economics on its head. Without it, we wouldn’t have child labor laws or the education reform or the middle class or communism or…you let me know when I’m rambling.”

Flashy was certainly a word he would use when it came to the matter of History. Flashy things got people’s attention, slow gradual change did not. People didn’t start to see the consequences until it was barely impossible to stop them. He had seen it in texts throughout history. But he couldn’t blame them either, it was easy to pretend nothing was amiss if it didn’t affect your daily life. He had been rather different from normal people, was what his father had always said. Zach did see the problems, even if they didn’t have anything to do with him. He wondered about what the government was doing for homeless people, when they started showing up more in his home-town. He wondered if teachers were held accountable in the same sense as everyone else when a teacher who had made a clearly sexist comment towards one of the underage students was still allowed to keep his job, while a boy who had been sprouting hateful comments was forced to change schools. He never picked up the pen or a sharpie as Clayton called it during high school, but he was always clearly bothered by it nonetheless. 

He nodded, they had discussed violence earlier. And Zach still thought they didn’t need it. They didn’t need to fight each other in order for things to change. But maybe he was too hopeful on that account. Since he didn’t believe in Politics either. At least not in the party-system. Too many people with fixed ideologies, slow changes, always trying to win vote instead of making the world a better place. Politics would have to change in order to have effect. It seemed like the one option humans had come up with since D-day was an new totalitarian regime. An oligarchy, a small group of individuals, right now unnamed to the people of the Colonies, who ruled over all. Who send their representatives out to places, and somehow got support despite how terrifying and dumb their mandate was. Zach didn’t want to say Hitler’s Third Reich. But well. It was. 

The Chancellor was just one of the many officers who thought he was doing the right thing, and not understand yet that by the time it would fall, they would be the bad guys in history. Up there with the worst in history. They might not be committing genocide on an entire part of the civilization, but they weren’t actively trying to help them either. He was certain the testing wasn’t meant to help, but merely to understand, find a way to root out everyone who was Infected and trying to keep it a secret. Early Third Reich then. A period in time where people just wanted someone to blame for their own unhappiness. But World War II hadn’t felt flashy for anyone who was in it either, not at first. Afterwards the occurrence could be read as being flashy, a lot had happened over a short period of time. But for the people living in small villages, it must’ve been a calm period till someone decided to start bombing the place. Only for the people who had been directly targeted by the regime, every day was a terror, and that feeling didn’t even end when the war ended. He wondered if any of them ever escaped the horrors and were able to live a normal life again. He couldn’t be sure the NWRF would fall into the same measurements as the Third Reich, but just that scared him, because he could see the small changes there, and only time would tell whether it wouldn’t spiral out of control. 

His family, long and long ago, had left the Netherlands or Belgian, he wasn’t completely sure since his grandmother - the only one to ever speak about it - had dementia. If his grandmother was to be believed, they left because of the second world war, taking refuge in Great Britain just before the occupation of their home-country. Of course the Bastiaans had felt before it got too heated, it seemed a common trait that still remained in the family. To give up rather than face failure. He had never liked that much about his family, they didn’t fight, just accept the situation as it was, probably wouldn’t have cared much about flashy events either. 

It was the first time since he had talked to Pax, since he had learned about the situation in the Colony, that he questioned his own way of working. He was aware that most of what he did on a daily basis boiled down to working out a plan to bring justice to this place, to ensure equality would be something fundamental to the rebuilding of humankind. Such were his dreams, the passions that drove him. He thought his goal was clear, his cause even clearer. What needed to be done, in his eyes, could only be done the old way. By bringing attention to their cause with protests and civil disobedience. Either have the Uninfected help with the chores, or strike against them altogether. Either strike against the testing, or protest for change. 

But he was starting to doubt his own conclusions. He was sitting in the canteen, dinner on his plate, absentmindedly mushing through it. He pushed the stew apart, back together, and apart again. His mind went over the last few conversations he’d had. Charlie had tried to reassure him, even made a sort of promise to look into whether or not his security level could be lowered, but no promises. Mouse had told him that throughout the years he’d been there, nobody had seen it lowered. He was stuck in that regard. Now, his conversation with Mouse had gone alright, although the more time passed between then and now, the more he felt like it hadn’t. It had gone horrid. He could still count on Teilo’s support, but in part it felt like they weren’t on the same team anymore. 

He had been careless. While telling himself he wasn’t, the longer he thought about it, the more it seemed to ring true. Paranoia was only a slight fantasy now, perhaps it hadn’t been paranoia to begin with, but merely his brain asking for a moment to calm down before anger could return. A self-defense mechanism that lingered for a while until he felt comfortable enough in his new spot. 

Anger and rage were more often on his mind now than before. And worst was, he wasn’t afraid of those emotions anymore. But that had only been because he had been occupied by other things. And that comfortable feeling was slowly dissolving. Instead, much to his confusion, he was starting to doubt. He was beginning to break, probably. And he wondered if this sudden doubt had anything to do with Clayton leaving. 

Other than that he was impatient. Incredibly impatient. He wanted something to be done, he wanted people to riot in the streets, to stand up for what was right. So he could stand with them. Right now he was a man with a cause, but without a purpose. He knew what needed to be done, but he wondered how it should be happening. Wait for Teilo and the NAR to get their shit together? No. That took too long. Wait for the Infected to rise up by themselves and fight for their rights? He couldn’t sit on the side-lines. Plan a protest by himself and try to get the Infected to follow him? That must’ve been his goal, but he no longer thought he was capable of it. Instead what he wished for was someone telling him what to do. Pax, perhaps, probably. He wanted to be part of something, but he found he was uncertain about how to lead. 

clean getaway | nadia & open

[Showering is Nadia’s favourite time of day, but it’s also… complicated, and dangerous. As she has no desire to have someone accidentally enter the shower with her, uninvited, she must be visible. So she chooses strange times when few people seem to be around. When she has to exit her stall, wrapped in a borrowed towel, that is the moment she dislikes most out of an otherwise pleasant experience. It involves a hasty stepping off around a corner, and just hoping no one enters. That two-second interval has been mostly safe.]

[When it happens that it isn’t safe, like today, and someone new comes in…? Nadia smiles innocently through her dripping hair at the stranger who just entered at precisely the wrong time.] 

[She decides to do her best to not look like she’s looking for the first moment to vanish, to arouse as little suspicion as possible.] Allô. 

[She swings her hands casually to lock them behind her back, out of sight. She’d rather risk having the towel fall off than her lack of tattoo and wrist device get noticed. Hopefully they will just… go about their business, and get into a shower stall, so she can vanish safely.]

[Zach had never enjoyed showering, there was something about it that left him without much control. vulnerable he would say. His opinion of the act had heavily changed once he was without a home of his own. He would shower in places that weren’t his own, or in homeless shelters. In most big cities they had some kind of public shower, usually it was gross and you would have to be quick about it, because there was the chance of all your stuff being stolen. The water was cold, or lukewarm, and it might stop halfway through, if you weren’t on time. Showering at other people’s houses was in a sense even worse, he had gotten used to not having much of his own, but showing always felt like invading someone’s privacy, and he had never grown over that fact, no matter how many houses he had visited over the course of his time as an activist, showers had still kept the same strange air.]

[Even in the Colony Zach tried to avoid spending time there too often. Today however, he didn’t care. Clay had taken leave from the Colony to visit his dad, that in itself seemed so odd that he hadn’t been sure how to deal with the feelings that followed. The strangest was that it bothered him. He hadn’t been friends with anyone like this... ever. And now Clay was gone, not for forever, but close enough that he could be in his company. It almost felt like karma, as if Clay had gone because he had made a bad call with Felix. He felt like he had smoothed it over, but still, he wasn’t used to feeling he had done something wrong. Not recently, not since his... not before either.]

[He hadn’t had much alcohol either, not before and not after. Yet something had urged him to drink a few in the Catch. Though he wasn’t sure how many he’d had, not even what it had contained, aside from alcohol. He felt hot and cold at the same time, his stomach lurched every which way when he walked. He was certain that he couldn’t keep his alcohol. He got into the showering area sweating, but still walking what felt like in a straight line. Thinking the place would be almost empty, or empty would’ve been better. Alas, it was not. He almost walked into her, and his brain was working on an array of malfunctions that it didn’t even register that she was half-naked, while that was something he normally would notice.] Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. [He said, slurring over his words.] 

mouse--quinley‌:

[It may be a simple way to look at things, but Mouse doesn’t put a lot of stock in words. Or feelings. He judges people by actions, more than anything else. He felt more trusting of Zach when they were side by side taking care of people in Torren during the sickness than any number of conversations where they seem to be in agreement. Talk is cheap, to him. Feelings aren’t something he can know the source of, so despite sharing Zach’s anger, he doesn’t see that as something to bank on, either.]

[His friends here are the ones that come through on what they say—Lake, showing up all on his own to change his tattoo, knowing the risks that he was taking when he did it. Andee sharing a drink the first time they’d even met, then doing simple little things like fixing up a coat for him so it’d be good for the winter. Pax and Corbin, taking their frustration and actually doing something about it, putting in the work alongside him to make a change happen, not just talk about change. Donovan, who’d trained him, just like he said he would.]

[So when Zach tells him not to worry, that he’s done this (whatever this means) a long time, there’s nothing for Mouse to really put his faith in. He doesn’t know what Zach will do, when the time comes. Will he be there helping take care of people with blankets and soothing words, or will he be stirring up more trouble just for the sake of satisfying his anger? And as helpful as it is for him to remove himself from the situation now, and apologize, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s been pushing on Mouse’s control for a while and clearly from the apology, recognized he’s been doing it. In Mouse’s opinion, it’s a dangerous person who gets aggressive around someone they know it’ll bother, just for the sake of saying a few words—no matter how important those words seem at the time.] 

[Not wrong, not bad—just dangerous. Dangerous could be useful, too, in the right hands. If it wasn’t paired with carelessness.]

[He hangs back, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he leans against the wall, and lets Zach take his leave. He’ll decide what exactly he thinks about all this later, when his head’s cleared.]

teiloembry‌:

[Zach is a… mixing pot of emotions. Take a bite from the left of the bowl and you might find him hard and arrogant and impatient. Another from a few degrees to the right and you might find him sweet, apologetic, humble. There appears to be nothing about him that is black and white. That is so simple as yes or no. Which can be a very good thing. But it can also be a trait that makes him unpredictable. And unpredictable people are a lawyer’s enemy. They are difficult to navigate, and difficult to trust. 

Not that Teilo can see Zach ever being his enemy literally speaking—it just bodes as… complicated, that’s all. But what is more important than predictability, is honesty, and so he’s grateful that he feels he gets as much from the Torren. At least if he’s honest about his conflicting inconsistencies, they can work with that. Imperfections and discrepancies are human, after all. 

He apologizes. Second guesses. He doesn’t mean rebellion. Or maybe he does. 

Teilo listens carefully, patiently. He empathizes, to a point. Clearly Zach is passionate, and desperate for change. It doesn’t reflect poorly on him as an individual. If anything, it’s the opposite. But it’s still something Teilo takes seriously, because liking a person, and aligning with them politically, are two very different things. 

He speaks in strong words. He speaks about immediacy and disobedience and refusal. He is steadfast and determined—which is admirable—but he is also impatient, by the sounds of it.

But Teilo listens. Nods, considering carefully.] I’ve heard of it, yes. [He pauses, taking a moment to collect his thoughts.] So… I think the idea of civil disobedience and rebelling without violence is… admirable. And I also think it’s something that could very well be in the NAR’s future. Unfortunately… at this stage, so early in the development of the NAR as an established party… something like that would immediately immobilize its progress, or any future power it could hope to have. Because if the NAR’s goal is to act as a bridge between the Radicals and the Reformists, through conversation and diplomacy… we can’t make the first thing we do a protest, before even trying conversation first. 

I get it, I’m sure people have been attempting conversation for ages, since the new wave, no doubt, but the NAR is new, and so we have to consider it a new ball game. A fresh slate. Or we will never be taken seriously, and any opportunity we might have at getting the NWRF to converse and compromise with us will be crushed. 

So… now isn’t the time. Not for the NAR. ‘As fast as possible’ isn’t a realistic option where this is concerned. And I respect that you likely feel like you’ve been patient already, but these things, unfortunately, take time. To act rashly and impatiently in the name of the NAR could seriously harm any chance it has at making a space for itself to be heard in the reality of our current political climate. And so if you need to get involved in any kind of immediate disobedience, it will have to be separate from myself and from the NAR. Because that’s not what it stands for, nor is it its design. Perhaps in the future, after its been established and other efforts have been made, clearly and on its explicit behalf. But not now. And not without a discussion and agreement among its representatives—representatives we don’t even truly yet have here at Col22 in any official capacity, other than i suppose myself. Which is one of the many reasons I’d like to make every effort to get in touch with potential connections from other Colonies as a first vital step. To ensure that we’re all working towards the same goal, staying true to its message. 

That isn’t to say that I want to control or suffocate your needs and ambitions, or even that we can’t help each other, and support each other. It just means that it’s possible we will be most helpful to each other as separate entities. Unless you truly feel you’re prepared to wait, and commit to the long haul. Honestly, I truly can see non-violent protests and the like as being in the NARs future. It’s sensible. It just needs to be established properly first. And we need conversation—to build a foundation and then communicate with the NWRF, first and foremost.

[Party. 

He hadn’t been too sure about what the NAR was, even after talking about it with Teilo before. To him it was some kind of faction out in the Wastes, that wanted to rid the world of the NWRF. But not like the radicals. They were an organization that could put their foot in the door and establish something new, like the young man before him could. However, it wasn’t what he wanted. He hadn’t been sure about a cooperation before, but he had been certain that Teilo could be trusted with the results of a rebellion, to come out from the chaos that might follow and set up something new and better. But he had always thought that the means to an end mattered a little less to him. Seemed like it didn’t.

The fact of the matter was, that when it came to politics, Zach had lost trust many years ago. Politicians wanted to do what was right, but they lacked commitment, they tried to please as many as they could, but often they didn’t dare to take risks. 

When it came to enacting real change, you couldn’t count on governments, on parties, on people who thought they were doing the right thing. They were... just not fast enough. And as he listened to Teilo, he was reminded of why he went into protesting in the first place: because not enough was done. Because their government either ignored it, or were saying that they were working on it, but it would take some time. He knew they weren’t empty promises, but they felt that way. 

Couldn’t blame people for getting impatient when promises were vague.]

I agree. [Zach reacted, as he had waited for Teilo to finish. All of it made sense, and the way the other brought it, didn’t make it feel like a dismissal of their interactions or cooperation. It didn’t make him feel any different because he had already established long before this conversation that they were working on different levels: Zach and Pax were aiming to take out the NWRF, Teilo and the NAR to work on what came after.] 

I think what the NAR is trying to do is noble, but I don’t think it’s enough. That’s just my opinion. [Plus, he wasn’t cut out for it, it felt strange to admit to that, but Zach didn’t see himself as a politician, or as someone who could be directed affiliated with them. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t work together, they could, just on separate levels. Different entities as Teilo called it.] I don’t think we have that much time. But I hope the NAR understands that too. [It wasn’t said with any kind of directive, maybe just a note for himself, to make him more aware that he was really thinking that. The longer they waited, to more powerful the NWRF felt. Who knew, they might already have a cure for the Infections, then what should they be fighting for. It would change the whole world again. Zach was almost certain that if a cure was invented, free will would disappear.] But indeed, it doesn’t mean that we can’t support each other, or help. I do see the NAR as the solution, just maybe not as the sole way to get there. 

That’s what it meant to me, to be an activist. We would strike, protest, to support a cause of which the solution was beyond our control. It was up to us to ensure people understood that it was necessary. We didn’t always succeed, but we made something important, if even for a little while. [He paused.] What I mean to say is, that in a sense, we need both. 

felix-tee‌:

[He nods.] Yeah, I think so. Well, I mean, I know there’s at least two. There might be more now, but I’m not really sure. I could probably ask Dad, but. 

[He frowns, a little surprised by the question. Most people he’s talked to so far seem to know a lot more about this Colony than he does, so it’s a little weird to find himself in a position where he seems to know more than this bloke. Not that he minds.] What? Oh, no, no. There was a prison here on the island. Not this place. Somewhere else. This was a school. At least… that’s what I was told. [His eyes narrow in slight concern.] Unless you know something I don’t. I hope this place wasn’t a prison. That would make it like, ten times worse, and it’s not like Colony 22 can afford to get much worse. [He rolls his eyes.

On the subject of Clayton, Felix opts for pretending him being an Empath was not new information. The truth is, Felix knew Clay was Infected, but he’d not yet asked him with what. Of course, he remembers meeting that… rodent Torren boy in need of a haircut? Mole? Squirrel? Newt? Something like that. 

Anyway, he remembers how he’d had very similar thoughts to what Zach is saying now when he’d found out about him being an Empath. But Felix still can’t figure out if this is a trap or not. Zach sounds genuine enough… 

One thing he does notice though, is Zach calls it ‘Empathy’—which he knows is wrong, because he’s made that mistake before, and his father had said, “empathy is something anyone can have, and something everyone should strive after. Empatheia is the Infection, and it is not something to envy. An important distinction, Felix.” Then he’d gone on to say something about it being a derivative of Latin or something, but Felix had stopped listening. 

Now though, he takes the opportunity to correct Zach, not because he cares, but because correcting people makes him feel important and smart. ] It’s actually called Empatheia, but um… I know what you mean, yeah. I hadn’t actually, like… met any Empaths before I came here. Like, I knew OF them and I knew of some at Colony 30, but like, I didn’t know any of them personally. So I did feel a little weird when I met someone with it for the first time. I still don’t know if I really like… get it? Like, I don’t really understand how it works, exactly. I keep thinking they can read my mind, but they keep promising me they can’t. Which, like, thank God, because what a violation of privacy. But um, other than that it doesn’t like… bother me. Not really. Maybe I’m a little uncomfortable, but it’s not like it would make me not want to hang out with him, I don’t think. He’s pretty lovely, and I’ve met some jerks here, so. 

[Zach smiled kindly.] No need. I mean, it’s not something I actively wonder, but it seems odd that a huge place like Australia wouldn’t have like hundreds of different little Colonies, then again, it was never as densely populated as the United Kingdom is... was. [Or still is perhaps. He found himself eager to keep up this small talk with Felix, despite how the other seemed prepared to dodge his questions perfectly, or sometimes gave this look that made Zach think he was growing suspicious, he still knew there was something to be won. Maybe not during this conversation, maybe not for months, but he felt the need to figure him out, even if he concluded he never could. He knew little about celebrities, just that they had a lot to deal with, their privacy was never considered much. It meant that they had to react intelligently, couldn’t say something by accident that would get their names in the gossip papers. As the conversation continued, Zach started to guess Felix didn’t just talk a lot because he was rambling, but because he was very conscious of what he said. He would be lying if he said that it didn’t interest him. He had never been a good talker, he thought too much and said too little. He studied the other and wondered how he did it.] 

[He laughed.] Ha no, I don’t know a whole lot about this place as it is. I’ve been here long enough to figure things out, but my dad always told me that when it comes to that, I’m rather lazy. I only find out things when I am interested in them. 

I probably know a lot less about things than you do. Well, not probably, obviously. [He copied, he wasn’t aware that he was doing it until the words had already left his mouth. He was adapting quickly because he was studying intensively. Corbin, Pax, Clay, Felix now, people who spoke quickly, confidently, didn’t mind using many words and useless ones. Discrediting themselves if it brought them something, or just for the sake of it. Clayton did that, it never annoyed him, although he found it sad. Clay was such a confident individual, form the outside, but he often pronounced his flaws for no reason. He had never been as close to anyone as he was with Clay, and yet here he was trying to use what he knew to figure out where Felix stood. What did that say about him?] 

Empatheia. [Zach repeated, hoping it was obvious that he gave Felix a win. He hadn’t known of course, he had no interests in the Infections to that point. They were subject of inequality, and that’s all they were too them. He was neither excited nor revolted by them.] You never talked with any of them in Colony 30 before? [He asked, genuinely surprised this time. He had met so many Infected, as far as he knew three of them... no four that was, were Empaths. It seemed odd that one could live in a Colony on this planet and never know any of them personally.] 

occamcomplex‌:

[[ Something in Zach’s demeanor tightens, and Mitch guiltily realizes he’s perhaps said too much. He tends to forget that most don’t hold the same level of impartial enthusiasm that he does for these abilities, and while Zach isn’t NWRF, he’s Uninfected, and the unknown is scary no matter how amiable the holder. Because of this Mitch doesn’t get the impression Zach fears him specifically, and certainly hopes that never becomes the case.

He wishes he could reassure him somehow, but isn’t positive it can be done as-is, with just words. Mitch will have to do his best to get to know him better and, ultimately, reassure him with his demeanor and with his actions.

Zach does, of course, ask why Infection classification would be trouble, even if Mitch had delicately skirted around a more thorough answer – which was suspicious in and of itself, for how much Mitch tends to elaborate on just about everything. The trainer waffles for a moment. What he wants to point out is that classing the Infected within their own groupings only creates what’s essentially a menu for the NWRF to choose from – for better or, more likely, for worse – but instead, he attempts to generalize his opinion. ]] Well, I think we’ve already been seeing the ill effects of categorization, both in history and in the present day. Intensifying and compartmentalizing further would only be cause for deeper divides, I’m afraid.

[[ Not to mention that it would paint larger targets on so many backs. Mitch has a big enough one of those already without being, he assumes, classed as particularly skilled or dangerous. The Reformists already suspect as much. They don’t need itemized cause for concern, and Mitch doesn’t want to give it to them. ]]

[Mitch gave a very political correct answer, which he should’ve expected of him. Less words as well, making Zach very much aware that it’s not something that was easily discussed between the two of them. He had already gotten a glimpse into the other’s interest to change things, or at least his annoyance with the situation as was. He understood, he understood not wanting to be open and honest with one’s opinion. Although he very much was growing towards the role of sharing without regarding the tension around the place. But it wasn’t for the tension, it was because he hated being silenced by fear. He had accepted that silence of a while, but now he was growing restless because of it. He felt the need to change something, to set things right.] 

That I can agree with. [He offered as answer, searching the words just spoken to see if there was anything he could hang on to, or perhaps something that was said earlier. He threw a blank for a bit, instead shared at the building that was edging closer, looking for an insight. But the only next step that he was thinking of, was something careless.] Why do you think the NWRF allows for the Infections to be trained? [He asked, keeping his voice low. He gave additional information to ensure Mitch didn’t think they were talking about something extremely secretive.] It doesn’t seem to add up given what their Mandate states. Why train something that you wish to cure? Why feign compassion and understanding when it’s obvious that they fear it? [He paused, aware of his tone, aware of what he was asking.] You don’t need to answer that, I sometimes wonder out loud. [Not true, but Mitch couldn’t possibly know that.] 

occamcomplex‌:

[[ Mitch is never in the market to brag, but Zach did ask, and it isn’t necessarily bragging if he offers the answers plainly and simply. Or, well. As simple as Mitch answers anything, when Infections are involved. ]] That’s a bit of a tricky question, since it depends on the circumstances. Things like pushing or rolling are easier, with physics on my side. I have lifted a car before, but not very high and not for very long, and I gave myself quite the headache and nosebleed after. [[ He admits sheepishly, shoulders shrugging inside his coat. ]] Pushing the car on its wheels is much easier. But basic lifting, on a regular basis and without sidelining myself… I’d say I can handle up to about half that, so roughly 500 kilo.

Classes… [[ Mitch trails off. He hadn’t considered such a thing, but ultimately gives his head a small shake to dismiss it almost as quickly as the idea is introduced. ]] Not that I’m aware of, not here. Maybe other areas do, but… if you ask me, every ability is so different it’d be hard to come up with a reliable system, and if I’m being honest, that’d be asking for trouble. Some of my students can already get more competitive about their talents than I’m comfortable with, and I feel adding some sort of ranking system, however objective, would only invite more of that.

[[ His expression also darkens a bit to consider how the NWRF would use that kind of information. Round up those with the highest class rankings for ‘special missions’? Or far worse. Mitch has some comparatively young students who show a great deal of promise, such that they could ultimately surpass him if they keep working hard. He can keep them off the NWRF’s radar on paper, but he couldn’t do that if some sort of class assignment was mandatory.

Mitch does, of course, keep this line of thinking to himself, ultimately flashing another smile at Zach. ]] I sort of keep an informal sorting in my head, but more for the sake of knowing how much everyone can and should be challenged.

[Zach listened intently, without letting any emotion aside from curiosity break through his face, but he couldn’t hold back the shock when Mitch said that he could lift about 500 kilo. Shit. He would never say that out loud, he would never admit to the fear that raced through his body all of a sudden, but he could feel the hairs on his back stand on end. It was thrilling to know this was possible, but it seemed dangerous too. Not for him, not personally, he didn’t like to think that way. But he could imagine where the fear from the NWRF came from, even if it was ungrounded, or at least grounded in the believe that all of mankind was naturally evil, or could be coaxed to evil when they had more power than others.]

[Yet, he looked at Mitch, and found that a foreign idea. He found himself thinking that if he had been in the same position, he too would never hurt anyone with his ability. But he might be frightened as well, like Mouse was, as to what the NWRF would do to him, should he want to rebel against how they were treating him. He could understand all these feelings and personal conflicts, but he disagreed with the idea that humans could become villains when in power. Not all. He liked to believe that if given the choice between finding a cure and helping the people of his Colony, even the chancellor would make the right choice. That sure, people could become dangerous because they had abilities that went beyond what a human was capable of, but within a community, especially one as tight and well-organized as these new Colonies were, nobody would turn against the other. At least not as long as freedom was ensured. In regards to the NWRF, he found himself in part wishing that those without would turn against those with power.] 

That’s... a lot. [He finally managed to say, because as far as he was able to argue himself into not fearing the abilities for they were part of human beings, he still found fear in the back of his throat. Something pressed against his chest as if trying to force him to allow for the other to have control over him. He ignored it the best he could.] 

felix-tee‌:

Um, it was in Penrith. Like, not central downtown Penrith, or anything, but just outside the main part of the city. Or what used to be the city. I dunno about here, but back home they said the cities all got abandoned pretty fast, like, in the first couple years after D-Day or whatever, because everything got trashed there the fastest and like, it’s busier and there are more looters and people passing through so like. I dunno. They were always telling us the dead cities were really dangerous. That’s what Dad said, anyway. 

But yeah, anyway, no like… it was nothing like here. And according to my father, most Colonies aren’t really like here. Or—well, they’re all sort of different. All kinds of different places—wherever made sense at the time as a like… ‘stronghold’ I think he called it. So like, some are in old malls, or apartments or warehouses…. I heard Colony 4 is like that. A warehouse. This used to be a school right? [He looks around, a little scrutinizing.] Can you imagine ever going to school in a place like this. Ugh. It seems more like a prison. Which, by the way, I heard this island was like, basically Alcatraz or something. That there was some big prison here before. Which really made me question my father’s sanity in agreeing to come here, when I found out, but whatever. 

[He grins at the compliment—because he’ll never tire of compliments, even when they’re third hand and cliche. Of course Clay liked his accent. It’s a tired compliment,  but Fee is happy to accept any kind of praise. 

But then Zach is asking him a question in an entirely different tone, and Felix spots the trap from a mile away. He’d recognize the set up with his eyes closed. Know it by scent alone, because he all but wrote the book on passively and ‘innocently’ trying to set someone up to admit something by pretending to feel the same.

He’s still a moment, processing with a tongue dragging over the front of his teeth, before he lets his soft blond brows buckle in a gentle frown. He shakes his head.] Mm… no? [He says, as if confused why Zach is asking at all.] I mean, not really. Why would I? It’s not like it’s his fault or anything. 

[He had never heard of Penrith. Then again, he wasn’t much familiar with most of the United States or Australia. He could name almost every country in Africa and South America, but he wasn’t even sure what the capital of Australia was. But he nodded along, nonetheless. Making a mental note about Colony 4, which he had heard mention a few times. It used to be so easy to get pictures off the internet about places he had never been to, but with the Echo he felt like he was living in a vacuum. In the Colony he felt like he constantly had to talk with people to understand the new world he was living in.] Are there more Colonies in Australia? [He asked, trying to further his knowledge of the system. He hadn’t had the opportunity yet to speak with anyone about it, and Felix - with the kind of job his father was in - seemed like the individual to know a little more. If he wanted to know about the Colonies in the United States, he figured Teilo could provide him with information, but his first hand knowledge was more limited than Felix’ must be.] 

I think so. [Zach answered the question about this place being a school, Reflection Hour certainly felt like high school.] It definitely has more of a prison feeling than a school. Doesn’t seem like a very nice place to have a school on, either way. I can’t imagine dropping kids off here to pick them up eventually. [He offered, taking a look at the place as if through new eyes.] Wait, do you mean it was a prison before it became a school or after?