thoughts for autistic grlz

i heard my cigs snap in my pocket and realized i had gripped right onto them

fuck man

got to my room and i was out of papers

god damnit

i sighed in frustration

i wasnt yet willing to give up

suddenly an old friend of mine, jesus christ, called to me

i opened the front cover to see a note my mom had left long ago

"this bible is ruined-

the only thing to do now

is dispose of it properly.

trash?

no!

that is blasphemy-

landfill is not the place for the Holy Word.

it must be burned."

ah yes, my joint rolling bible from back in the day.

i suppose i was burning it, after all.

apologies to bob from the federated church.

and thus, my creative thinking saved the day again!

proving, as always,

that resilience and perseverance will guide you.

and as long as i have these things,

i will be ok.

anyways we have elementary school art hanging up in the high school and this third grader drew tiananmen square tank man

"title of art: the cold war

got back from pmea district band today. placed 6/8 euphoniums, but i hit b flat above the scale (treble cleff) during my audition so i can't be too mad. (it was the one part i got right, i shouldve used my redos)

but also, people are dying and starving in africa i think, so maybe im just another silly american looking for an issue because my life isnt that bad compared to others.

but my people are also dying and starving. my people cant afford treatments. my people work for a federal minimum wage that hasnt changed since 2009 while our economy has inflated 36%. $7.25 in 2009 (minimum wage) is worth $10.48 in 2025. my family cant afford milk by the end of the month. my parents have a yearly combined income of ~$80k and they are working paycheck to paycheck for our family of six. my community is ravaged by addiction, poverty, and untreated mental illness. kids i used to know have overdosed and died. my neighbors have went homeless and sat on my porch, dirty and dejected. even my local small town government is run by corrupt, money laundering pedophiles who have been here for generations.

i'm sure i'm simply screaming into the void, but with everything going on with our federal administration right now, and all of the talk online and in real life, i'm coming to many realizations about the reality of our country. even in my shut off pocket of rural america, my eyes are being opened to the corruption all around me. i trust no authority.

they divide us and they polarize us and turn us into extremists out of hate for our neighbor because surely they are the one to blame.