rose landry seduces shane w her ed swag and capacity for queening out

let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.

bro can we compare hand sizes 

now tongues sizes

can zelda get him pregnant already damn

WHAT

can zelda (the princess of hyrule) get him (link the hero of legend) pregnant (cute 🥰) already damn (profanity)

he can infodump so deep inside me I'll have trivia running down my leg

:/

girl your pussy is vacuuming up all the yonic energy in the room #bitchalert

It would WORK if they would just listen and understand though. Jeez!

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

not again

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"

Weed gummy should cost 50¢ and be sold out of vending machines and at corner stores

I'm sure the kids can scrounge up 50¢