Haru

Bought a new trinket 🫡

This month. 2 months ago

Bernard: I can expla-

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Gotham Gazette: "Is there trouble in paradise? Timothy Wayne's boyfriend, Bernard Dowd caught kissing Red Robin after bank robbery"

Classmate side eyes Bernard in silence while the blonde purposely looked the other way.

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Classmate: How many people is this man dating?

Kon Luther-Kent has his hand wrapped around Bernard's waist during a gala.

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Bernard's classmates were ready to set an intervention when Bernard is caught with Superboy.

Classmate: Bernard, we love you, but we need to put a stop to this.

Because in my head, every universe Bruce isn't Batman goes one way.

And that is he becomes a doctor and still adopts kids whose parents he's tried saving but couldn't.

And now these kids gonna kill for him.

The Graysons died on impact, but Bruce still ran from the crowd to check their vitals and made sure he got custody of their child. He tried saving Catherine when she overdosed but was too late. He helped organize the Drakes' funeral.

Now, Dick, Jason and Tim are menaces. It's on-sight for anyone who is a threat to their dad. God help you if Alfred catches wind of it.

Funniest part? They never tell each other they're killing for their dad.

Some guy punched Bruce and called him a curse because he didn't hook him up with prescription drugs? Dick dumps his body in a river on Gotham's outskirts. Comes home on time for dinner and reading Jason a book.

Some employee blackmailing Bruce because ehe has experience and money? Well, tortured and overdosed because Jason knows all you need to about drugs. Comes home and asks Bruce if he'll die eating 2 panadols for his headache.

Some pervert thinking they can touch Bruce when no one's looking? Well, they're hung outside Luthor's hospital from a lamppost because Tim read the threatening email Luthor sent Bruce. Comes home and listens to Bruce drone about his patients that day.

One fateful day, Tim hired help online to trudge the body of a bartender who helped spike Bruce's drunk into a hired van. The hired help is Jason. The getaway driver is Dick. They all pause and do the Spiderman meme, pointing at each other.

Once they meet and realise they all in this together, the kill count goes up FAST.

Damian: Dry your eyes Rouhi. Here. *hands Jon 2 tickets*

Jon: You got us Black Canary tickets?! Oh my Rao I'm actually seeing them live?! Thank you thank you thank you!!! *pulls Damian into a tight hug*

Damian: Anything to make you happy Rouhi.

Jon: ...wait *holds Damian at arms length* You didn't get these from scalpers did you?

Damian: Of course not! Not only do I not trust sites like SeatDweeb tickets to not get cancelled, I know you hate them. The Waynes have a dedicated suite at the Gotham Knights Arena. Father had it built after all. So I asked to be allocated 2 tickets for that suite.

Jon: *stares at the tickets in horror*

Damian: What's wrong?

Jon: I'm now part of the rot in the system?!