erm

Driver (Drive (2011))

This man is so quiet, at first you're worried about annoying him with how loud being sick is (seriously, sneezing around this man would feel like setting a firework off in a library). You don't get far into your anxious apologizing before he's gently shaking his head, his eyes meeting yours. "No." That word makes you pause before melting, at least a bit.

He's a steady source of comfort. Gives you his scorpion jacket (which is one of his favorite sights to see, you wearing a part of him). Passes you tissues. Holds your hand when you cough. Presses his forehead against yours to gauge your fever.

If he has a job, he'll get you sick supplies on the way back to your place, but if he doesn't have one, he'll be really reluctant to leave your side. I think he'd really like showering with you and just making sure you're okay, the intimacy unraveling him on the inside. Definitely wants to sleep in your bed with you, making sure you're warm, clocking every moan of discomfort and adjusting so that you can be comfortable. Takes you on calmer drives once you start to feel better, he'll save the donuts for when you're up for that. For now, he's perfectly content just existing with you.

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary (2026))

Honestly, being a teacher, his immune system is the toughest thing about him, so he's not worried about getting sick.

Will initially have a very methodical approach. Goes down a symptom checklist with you (it's a cold, you are 99% positive, but that 1% is what he uses to justify his need to define the parameters). Brings you tea and tells you why it's good for you when you're congested. Tells you about how the body needs to stay warm while wrapping you in the fox cardigan. Eventually though, he'll slow down a bit and take you in, really take you in, and realize that he should focus on being present with you. Once he stops trying to treat your cold like something to be observed in a lab, it's all about cuddling, with him reading to you or softly telling you about the outrageous slang his kids have taken to lately. Will grade tests while you snore against his shoulder. Rubs your back when a coughing fit trips you up and kisses your forehead more times than you can count. His kids might make you a "Feel Better Soon!!!" card, and you might almost cry, and he'll panic a bit, but it's perfect.

Holland March (The Nice Guys (2016))

I love this loser, he is absolutely falling apart if you're sick. If you and Holly are sick? Game over, man. He's freaking out, running everywhere, soup is boiling over on the stove, the kettle is screaming, he's probably screaming too. Healy is not impressed. He'll grab Holland by the scruff of his neck and take him to the drugstore to get things that will actually help. This would help Holland calm down at least a tiny bit and remember that his daughter can't be the parent right now, and you're needing him to step up a bit. So he takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, and tries to keep his voice from going into "screeching" territory. Waits to drink until after the two of you are asleep for the night to settle his nerves down. Absolutely needs to sleep in the same bed as you, he will die if he can't.

Kisses you with blatant disregard for the idea of getting sick. My theory is he either doesn't get sick (the Dad immune system helping out) or gets sick enough to be delirious, which sometimes isn't that obviously different from his normal self (that's another headcanon though...)

Colt Seavers (The Fall Guy (2024):

Gives "sad dog" vibes. Like, he'll still flirt with you, don't get me wrong, and he'll sincerely mean it, but when he sees that you're really not feeling well, he deflates. Worried but requires direction. "What do you need? Water? Probably something with electrolytes..." Brow so furrowed you gotta gently poke between his eyebrows for him to even notice.

The king of "push through it" with his body would be such a hypocrite (shoutout to @moonlight-in-the-sea for their fic Disparity), scolding you when you try to do anything for yourself.

"You're supposed to rest!"

"Didn't you go to work when you dislocated your shoulder a few weeks ago?"

"I don't know what that has to do with this."

Stunts make him nervous, sure, but that's his job. Taking care of you feels way more high stakes to him than being set on fire.

Will carry you around your apartment, it makes him feel like he's helping.

Sierra Six (The Gray Man (2022)):

The issue is, he himself isn't worried about getting sick. If it were just him and you, he wouldn't give a single fuck. But Claire's heart makes him nervous about him getting her sick, and you respect that, so the two of you come up with a system that works for both of you.

If you're not living together, he'll be constantly sending things to your apartment--medicine, tissues, cough drops in your favorite flavor (when did he pick up on that?)--to provide comfort even when he's not physically there. If he can, he'll drop them off but not come inside ("checking the perimeter" is his dry reply when you bring it up). FaceTimes to remind you to drink water and check your temp, chuckling when you call him bossy. Content to stay on the phone with you even if you're just sleeping (it helps him calm down but shhhh).

If you are living together, the three of you, you stay in your room and are waited on by a very handsome nurse. He wears a gray face mask and indigo-colored gloves (they didn't have gray, unfortunately, and this was the closest thing). Down to cuddle and will shower after just to be on the safe side to avoid spreading germs. Unfortunately not going to sleep with you because of said germs, and his sleep suffers for it; Claire is snickering into her cereal the next morning at how grumpy he is.

When you're better, he definitely hovers a bit. His hackles are raised by the reminder that sometimes he can't take away the pain for you, and he hates it with every fiber of his being. He was already always in your orbit, but in the wake of you being sick, he's pulling you close, softly asking if you're feeling okay or if you're tired, shrugging off his jacket if he thinks you're cold. Worried you'll overdo before you're all the way better so he's picking up whatever chores or tasks he can before you even think to ask him. Hugging him helps calm him down, please hug this man, it will cure what ails you and he will finally start to relax, even if it seems like a minuscule amount.

Sebastian Wilder (La La Land (2016))

Plays soft piano while you doze on the couch. I'm sorry this is all I've got.

No but I think he would be torn because the club needs him, and so if it's more of a cold situation, he promises to try and come back earlier. Tries to check in between sets once he has to go. He'll also be more able to take care of you during the day. Willing to cuddle and kiss the parts of your face that aren't your lips. Will get a good movie marathon going and will provide commentary on the soundtracks to distract you from your woes.

Dean (Blue Valentine (2010) (YEAH I'm bringing him in I really enjoyed the movie)):

Young Dean would lean into romantic tropes, because that's what he knows. He gets the soup, he checks your forehead with his hand, he does all the things he thinks he's supposed to. Trying, but a little lost if you don't react like he thinks you're going to.

Present Day Dean, I think, would actually enjoy taking care of you. It would be something to help you reconnect. He's also got practice with Frankie and taking care of someone, so he knows the more realistic beats. It would be quiet, but it would be real. It could be a place to start finding your way back to each other.

Luke Glanton (The Place Beyond the Pines (2012))

Never stuck around long enough (for a one night stand) for this part of a relationship. Even if the two of you are undefined, he feels his chest tighten when he sees the glassy look of fever in your eyes. Will take his cigarettes outside, even if it's raining, because he doesn't want to make your cough any worse. "Tell me what you need, I'll get it for you." Gets you meds and speeds the entire way back. Doesn't want to overstay his welcome so he doesn't spend the night. When you're better and show up after one of his shows, the smile that spreads across his face is his usual smirk, sure, but there's a tinge of relief beneath it.

Ken (Barbie (2023)

Surprisingly knows what being sick is (the dolls have had doctor arcs in Barbie World, you can't tell me they haven't). "You should go to the doctor, they'll make you better and then we can celebrate!" He is then informed, to his horror, that human bodies don't work like that, and that they need time to heal even after going to the doctor. Eager to help, brings you all the things he knows will make you feel better, including himself. Blesses each sneeze enthusiastically. Once you're better, it's required that the two of you go to the beach to celebrate being alive.

Jacob (Crazy Stupid Love (2011))

I have three tiers for this.

Tier 1: Strangers in a bar. Yeah no, he's avoiding you if you've got the sniffles. This man is real about his appearance, and a cold would not match that aesthetic.

Tier 2: Friends with benefits. He calls you up with that sly question of "What're you up to tonight, beautiful?" He'll be disappointed when you can't meet up. "Call me when you're feeling better, I'll show you a good time." He's good for it, unfortunately.

Tier 3: Relationship (even if that's not what he calls it, at least not to himself yet). Nervous and prickly. "What? I can make tea, I'm not inept." Feels like he's one step away from imploding the entire time. Doesn't try the "I hear orgasms are good for a head cold" because he's so thrown off his groove that he's basically just winging it. Won't kiss you because germs, and is more physically distant than usual, but the lack of physicality from him is even more proof that, god help him, he's in deep.