Ore no tān

I wanna show this shit off all the time.

Side note: since I'm further in my transition and have been feeling tf out of myself I've been fighting the urge to lewd post.

Relationship break ups, in most cases, don't hit the same. Like while I can get over an ex and appreciate what it was for what it was. I was expecting my A1 to be there y'know? I had stuff that I could come to them about that I couldn't anyone else. I actually took their words to heart. And to lose that fuckin sucks. And I know I got bpd, and I know about the fp thing but this was different. He was one of the few people I actively made an effort to do better for. Hell, he was one of the first people I was able to maintain a long-term goal. And to add to the cosmic joke of it all, after we stopped talking, NOW I'm able to see it through. Looking back it'd really evident that it was one sided for a long ass time, but I wanted to believe so bad it would have gotten better. "One day he'd not be as busy and we could hang out like we used to." "Just give him time, he's going through a lot" "Just chill out, he'll make time when can".

Out of all of the friendships I've been through, this is the only one I wish I could have gone back and changed everything that went wrong. Every other one? "Shit happens", "it is what it is" ect.