I understand that a lot of people enjoy writing shipfics where they transplant characters into a college setting. Since some writers may not be in college, or may have graduated a long time ago, I thought I’d offer a helpful list of realistic college meet not-so-cute scenarios. Forget baristas. This is where it’s at.
- I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
- vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
- my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
- it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
- hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
- hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
- variations of the above
- I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
- all our friends are drunk
- it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
- we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
- humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
- we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
- GROUP PROJECT
#both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be #waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late #you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole #we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window #you’re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking (little-smartass)
- Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
- This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
- I found your USB drive still in the computer
- I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
- You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
- We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
- We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
- You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
- Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
- You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
- You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
- What are you doing at this table at the career fair
- Waiting for office hours
- I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
- Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
- You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.
- We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
- You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline
- my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
- we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
- Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
- Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
- Your school mailbox is right next to mine
- I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
- My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
- You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
- My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
- we’re both on althetic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
- You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
- What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?
- it’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
- you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking
- I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking
- my shower isn’t working can I use yours
- RA mandated floor party
- I couldn’t help but notice you’re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab
- dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kayne’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room
- hey the semester’s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit’s just gonna disappear into the college’s pocket otherwise
- THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED
- I’ve ordered take out every night this week and you always seem to be my delivery person
- we’re both skipping class to study for a different class
- you live above me and I’m going to murder you if you don’t stop throwing parties Sunday night
- there’s only one study room left in the dorm basement and I don’t want to walk to the library, let’s fight for it
- I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
- The guy with the bibles on the quad has cornered me and is screaming about hell, please rescue me
- lecture room bingo for annoying things your prof says
- you’re obviously high or hungover so I’m going to rescue you and tell the teacher why your answer wasn’t as strange as it sounded, but you’ll owe me
- holy fuck you found me on the roof please don’t be an RA
-You’re standing right next to me while we’re both flyering and catching all of the people walking past before I can
-Alternatively, we’re standing right next to each other while flyering and hey, are you as miserable as I am right now?
-We can’t both listen to our music in the shower at the same time
-Both of us are super bored at this mandatory floor meeting
-We both work really late shifts on Friday Nights and you give me a ride home so I don’t have to walk alone in the dark
-You’re the only one who actually responded to the desperate message I sent to the whole class about needing the notes
-All the seats in this huge fucking lecture hall and you have to sit right next to me
-I’m sorry you caught me moving your clothes out of the dryer but in my defense I’ve been waiting for one to open up for about an hour now
-We were both running for the bus and it didn’t wait for us, so now we’re at this bus stop together alone
-Are you the one who keep leaving their dirty dishes in the common area kitchen
-You posted that you needed to borrow something on the floor’s facebook group and I just so happen to have what you need
-I want to buy your football ticket/textbook/etc so we have to meet up
-Every single table in the union is full, do you mind if I just sit here for a while?
