ættmóðir

Life Coach | Matriarch | Spiritualist | Fixer

dissociation blog @exnefelibata

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To be an individual sovereign is to claim ultimate authority over your own existence. It borrows the political concept of a sovereign state (which has supreme authority over its territory) and applies it to the self—meaning you are the supreme authority over your mind, body, and life trajectory.

However, true sovereignty is not just about doing whatever you want. It is a multifaceted state of being that rests on four critical pillars: Autonomy, Internal Locus of Control, Relational Respect, and Radical Responsibility.

Here is what it truly means to be a sovereign individual:

1. Legal and Political Autonomy (The External) At its most basic level, sovereignty means your body and property are inviolable. Your consent is the ultimate gatekeeper.

You reject external coercion without your explicit agreement.

You take ownership of your choices, rather than handing over your agency to the state, corporations, or religious institutions.

You operate from a place of "negative rights" (the freedom from interference) balanced with "positive agency" (the freedom to act on your own volition).

2. Psychological Self-Mastery (The Internal) This is the deeper, more difficult layer. External sovereignty is meaningless if your internal world is a chaotic dictatorship ruled by fear, impulse, or other people’s opinions.

Internal Locus of Control: You believe you are the primary driver of your life's outcomes, rather than a victim of circumstance.

Stoic Detachment: As Viktor Frankl noted, between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is your power to choose your response. A sovereign individual guards this space fiercely. No one can "make you" angry, insecure, or afraid without your subconscious permission.

Self-Authorship: You define your own values, meaning, and moral code. You do not outsource your identity to a tribe, political party, or social media algorithm.

3. Relational Boundaries (The Social) A critical misunderstanding of sovereignty is that it means isolation or selfishness ("I can do what I want"). In reality, sovereignty is inherently relational.

The Non-Aggression Principle: A sovereign individual recognizes that their sovereignty ends exactly where another person’s nose begins. To be sovereign, you must respect the absolute sovereignty of others.

Interdependence over Codependence: You engage with others from a place of choice, not need. You form deep connections, but you do not need others to complete you, nor do you try to control them to soothe your own anxieties. You enter relationships as a "whole" person, not a "half" looking for a missing piece.

4. Radical Accountability (The Price) This is the heaviest burden of sovereignty. If you are the supreme authority over your life, you cannot blame anyone else for your outcomes.

If you fail, it is ultimately your responsibility to adapt. If you succeed, you own the credit, but also the sacrifice it required.

Sovereignty strips away the comfort of victimhood. You acknowledge that systemic barriers and bad luck exist, but you refuse to let them define your final say over your life. You focus entirely on what you can control—your actions and attitudes—rather than what you cannot.

The Critical Distinction: True Sovereignty vs. Toxic Individualism

It is vital to separate authentic sovereignty from its cheap counterfeits:

Counterfeit (Toxic): "I don't owe anyone anything; rules don't apply to me; I got mine." (This is narcissistic entitlement, not sovereignty.)

Authentic (Mature): "I am fully responsible for my own existence, and I voluntarily choose to contribute to the collective good because I value it. I obey laws not out of fear, but out of a social contract I consciously endorse."

The Ultimate Reality Check In practical terms, absolute external sovereignty is a myth—we all live within ecosystems, societies, and physical laws we cannot wholly control. You cannot sovereignly choose to ignore gravity or refuse to pay taxes without facing state consequences.

My multicolor pen. 10 colors on it. I lose pens easily and still believe in pretty notes in different colors so this has been a saver. Its round and bulky yes but like everything else with practice you get it. 10/10.

My designer wardrobe. Mostly Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren. 100% cotton. After watching plastic detox on netflix Im so glad I only go for at least 80% natural material. I got it all from a thrift store too and its long lasting, I have a Hilfiger long-sleeved polo I've worn for almost a decade now and everything holds, color and all. I have one Lauren silhouette blazer from before I was born and it is the most elegant chic thing I own and still in perfect condition. And they give the message I'm trying to send. DID I SAY I THRIFTED THEM? Got that blazer for less than 2$ in my home country in a second hand shop. 95% of my wardrobe is thrifted and I haven't really bought anything to wear for about five years now.

The sheer amount of money I paid to learn spirituality. The Chinese WILL be taking your money yes but it's worth it. Understanding my elemental blueprint took so much from me - the shame the burden of not being productive 24/7 and fitting in to social standards and the freedom to just be because I understand this is how I was always meant to work. The years and money I poured into this is worth every single second/coin of it. 10/10 would do it again. I say this all the time- know who you are. And for this, spare no expense. Also make coaching much easier now because most clients will say yes to 'hey can we speed this up and just check your chart XD' and then we can immediately start working from a base elemental basis instead of trying to figure out do you actually want to be a lawyer or is that just programming?

My relationship with my partner. The greatest investment you will ever make is who you date/marry and I think I made the right one. You never know if its actually a 'good one' with this other species BUT you can make a list of what you want to get out of a relationship with them and make sure you get it. And I get it and more.

Every single coin I've put into health. My body is a temple (of which I am god btw) and I am always fully prepared to honor it. Organic food costs more and quarterly checks are annoying and supplements can be expensive and stressful and whatnot but one thing about me I will be at 100% health at every second of my life and this is NOT even negotiable. I will get my bloodwork and my magnetic field check done and I will be sleeping 8 hrs + plus and NO gel no polish is touching my nails I am NOT putting my hands under no UV lamp you're lost I am NOT getting a wig on my head I am NOT touching my face with make up I am NOT putting myself at risk or anything I'll run around with no bra all day bare face henna nails natural hair without caringgggg this body is my temple. no impurity is touching it.

Learning to braid my own air. It wastes TIMEEE and I get so tired but I also am very confident because we talked about this, confidence is based on competence. Because I can braid my own hair I won't let someone else overcharge me or ruin my precious 4b strands that my ancestors gave me and also it feels like some kind of worshipping myself. Also last time I let someone touch my head they gave me dandruff hell NOOOOO. There's such little emphasis on caring well for type 4 hair I just don't trust anyone right now like no Im not heat stretching my hair for you.

My copper water bottle. I have NEVER been happier to fall for a hype. Can't wait to pipe my house and pool with copper because one thing us spiritual girls will do is respect the elements.

Driving, swimming, motorbike. I say this all the time swimming and driving ate non negotiables. They are life skills not luxuries. What if someone pushes you into a body of water. What if your driver has a heart attack or something and you're just stranded there?

Learning my electronics. Knowing how to fix my own stuff. i will ALWAYS preach this. DO NOT be a damsel in distress the women before you fought for your right to learn go learn to fix your car and freezer and pipes etc so you're not crying at 3 am letting some strange man into your house because your plumbing broke. So you're not getting charged at the mechanics for premium air. When you own something, learn to take care of it. Its yours. If your laptop breaks down you have to go looking for a technician> At the bright age of 25. While you spend all day on tiktok with the self esteem of a goldfish? Ew. Grow up.

That one 100% free nutrition course I took over covid. And that one book I bought on food science. No, seriously.

When people were surprised Klay Thompson, that annoying rat thewizardliz chose (for reasons no one can comprehend) to reproduce with, that annoying twink Teyana Taylor was running around with, That annoying massive twink Song Hye Kyo married and for what?, that street rat Cardi B was running around with making songs about lmao was married to etc etc etc chose to do them wrong and humiliate them it was so funny to me because were you born yesterday? I told you Selena Gomez's rat will do it wrong and did it happen or not? We all know that gold digger Taylor Swift is running around with because God Forbid she's single will run her through the mud but then we'll get an album and she'll become a bigger billionaire so I'm not that stressed about it. She's an alchemist so okay.

Now. I heard through the vine ASAP Rocky equally twink self was out there emarassing the mother and its like- duh. Blink twice if you did NOT see this coming I'll get you an optician. That man was always trash I'm not sure why we are acting surprised here. See when Song Hye-Kyo's twink did what it did I won't lie I was a little bit taken back. Because publicly it doesn't act like that type of person. Yes it's an actor yes but it does manage for the most part to at least look and behave well. At least. So yes i get the HUH. But the rest lol. Rihannas baby daddy always been misogynistic, pull ONE single video of him and thereeeeeeeeee. Ladies you are not special. I tell you this all the time. A man that hates women won't like you just because you're bumping privates. Matter of fact it will hate you for it. Truth be said I'm not all that sympathetic for RiRi because he did already cheat and already be a raging misogynist throwing around 'bitch' and "m*****fucker" and other female based terms of degradation before reproducing with him and its YES he views being female as a negative thing that's why he uses female bases to insult. Well RiRi herself is a raging misogynist so they deserve each other.

Anyway of course he was going to embarrass her. DUH. The media has been correctly reminding us over and over he's a C list rapper with an A list star baby mama and Billionaire girlfriend OF COURSE he was going to attempt to tilt the scales back to be 'at the top' because in his world women are less just to prove a point. Its the same with Teyana and Cardi B and 99 others. See Paris Hilton and Ciara and Hailee Stenfield they got women lovers that do, in fact, love women that's why you don't see their boyfriends humiliating them. You see Simone Biles, yes? That low self-esteem equally annoying twinkette, poor girl about to see hell in colors she didn't even know could exist. And it will be her fault mind you. Yes yes yes I know the 'feminists' are raging rn because God Forbid you want a woman to take responsibility for her own choices she made with her adult brain and millions of dollars so its not financial coercion but no THIS is feminism. Use your fucking brain that's why you have one. She'll be dragged through the mud and it'll be her fault. She's perfectly setting herself up, the way Cardi B perfectly set herself up with both that ball player and Offset the way Meg perfectly set herself up the way Selena Gomez perfectlyyyyyy set herself up for that. Yeah I know Men Bad Uwu Women Angels Why Would I hold A Woman Accountable? Well babes you sleep with the dogs you get the flies. Riri is a 30+ yr old billionaire with a functional brain. She set herself up for this.

The whole point of being sovereign is to hold yourself accountable for your choices, yes? Thats what I want you to do. Be in charge of your life, instead of a little victim thats alwaysss under everyone else's mercy. Yes I know thats easier. Yes I can see why you'd prefer that. In which case unfollow and save yourself because I will never not make your problems a you thing. On some level , apart from collateral level issues, its YOUR fault.

Anyway if you choose to date then date men that are women lovers. Straight women date Straight men challenge. You'd think its easy for a straight woman to just date a woman lover but NOOOOOOOOOO we for some reason always go for the gay twinks that want to seem manly to the boys and sacrifice us, women, at the altar of their masculinity to please their gods (other men). Find a woman lover. Not woman fucker, a woman lover. Men that love women not men that have sex with women. One is mentality the other is simply biology.

If a man is throwing around female based terms of degradation you're trash to him. If a man calls women whores and sluts he WILL physically and even sexually assault you. If a man is verbally crude around you he doesn't care about impressing you so you're getting cheated on Pro Max s44. If you make a man part of your brand you ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO getting publicly humiliated. If I go on your page and its your bf your bf your bf (reminder there is no such thing as a boyfriend, you're an idiot or you're a teenager, in which case yes it makes sense but also focus on building yourself dating starts when you're at least 23.) may the Lord be with you. No you are not special. Yes you are EXACTLY like other girls.

You don't even have to be conventionally attractive you just have to be interesting to look at. You have to be eye catching. You have to make looking at your face an experience.

Why? Because your face is the base of your interactions. Everyone interacts with you based on first, your face then your body (posture, fashion cohesiveness) and the your voice.

That's it.

We are in a Everyone Looks The Literal Same epidemic that started with the Instagram Face then was joined by the Kpop Idol face then joined by the Douyin face and its honestly ruining everything. Every other person looking like a knock off of Lori Harvey / Kendall Jenner/ Jang Wonyoung/ Grace Jackson and that's it. People are getting less interesting to look at. Yes you are beautiful, gorgeous if I am being fair, but nothing special. I can find 78907997 others exactly like you one drive downtown so what's the point. Two minutes scroll and I will find another like you so what exactly makes you memorable?

Make your face interesting to look at. Usually the eyes, because the eyes are the part of your face people look at when they're talking to you. I remember the first time I saw Hwang Yeji I don't even listen to that brand of music but if I see her I will tell you yes that's Yeji. And Alexandra Daddario ask me one of her films. Whenever I think of the most visually striking people I know, its the eyes and the face structure. And since there isn't much you can do to have the Anya Taylor Joy / Halle Bailey / Teyana Taylor type of Wow Wait Who Is That face shape because genetics is genetics, the best you can do is with your eyes.

Introducing character to your face makes you memorable. Getting freckles tattooed if that will somehow help make your face stand out. Experimenting with lashes and eyeliners. Changing the shape of your eyebrows. Getting dark lip color tattoo to create a contrast effect. Getting a haircut / hair color that creates the face shape you're looking for.

Book an appointment with a looks expert (I'm not sure what they're called but I'm almost sure they exist) that won't lie to you or run through cosmetology school BS trying to make an Instagram / rednote clone out of you and tell them no I want to be show stopping. I need my face to make people just stop and look and say hey I saw this girl today with the most striking features! I remember explaining to a cosmetologist the exact eye and lip tattoos I wanted and what effect I needed from them and what I was trying to do with my face and them trying to talk me out of it trying to make me some regular Lori Harvey like no the world already has Lori Harvey I'm me and I need people to see me once and remember me for life like the first time I saw Halle Bailey and knew I'd seen some kind of divinity. So make sure you don't get some crowd pleaser specialist trying to tell you what you want. I need people to see my face and be so distracted by it I can say complete bs and they say yes Ma'am please give me a chance to see you again :).

Do NOT try look like every other Jane and if you have a commonplace face that's fine its 2026 you can change that. Just some color play and glasses and a well placed tattoo and hair style will open doors for you.

You don't need to be pretty you need to be striking. SO striking that your presence itself is the main character. So striking you could say some BS and people will say okay let me write you a contract. So STOP wearing every other perfume walking around with Oud and Chanel no5 smelling like every other girl with your banana shaped back and boring hair and boring voice. Learn to stand out by existence. Find someone that can understand the features you have, the aura you are going for and make an affordable and easy to maintain plan for you to not be every other Jane. So when you're in class and you go absent once the professor says wait is she not in today? Hm. Even though you've never said anything in that class.

Unique = Luxury.

What do I mean? Hedonism (biological. The avoidance of pain/lack and the pursuit of pleasure/surplus) is mammalian nature. Its is the operating systems of mammals. Your laziness is your operating system that's why its so hard to get rid of. So its in your programming to lay down all day and chase the cheap dopamine of tiktok and want junk its literally pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain. This is your base system. Except if you do it with no restraints, it stops being pleasurable and becomes an addiction.

Let me explain this. Money makes me happy but it wouldn't make Elon Musk happy. Because I don't have a lot of it, it still brings me pleasure. When I close a deal I do a little dance and a little twerk because I have stuck to my base programming of gaining surplus. BUT if I go shopping it doesn't make me happy. At this point its no longer surplus its just a thing I do so it triggers no satisfaction. Back in the day when I was dirt poor broke a thrift store run had me panting tongue out salivating etc etc etc because it was in pursuit of surplus so my brain rewarded me with thank-you chemicals. I used to plan those trips. I had a list of what I want my budget etc etc etc and it brought me so much pleasure shopping was such an experience but now meh. If I need clothes okay I'll go get it but there's no joy there. If Elon Musk closes a new deal its just meh. No joy there. Because at this point its no longer surplus its just a thing. I get ONE call from a potential and my heart is beating I can't sit I'm adrenaline pumped I am daydreaming all the ways this could go I am checking my calendar etc etc etc etc.

So how do you bring pleasure back to experiences? By creating a sense of urgency and restriction. During covid when I had my phone 24/7 and wifi and I was watching tiktok 24/7 it stopped being pleasurable to me. It got to a point I sighed when I opened the app because at this point its force of nature more than desire. Because I have created neural pathways and habits for this I am compelled to do it but zero pleasure. I'd scroll on a video after three seconds because my pleasure threshold was that high. Then I got me an app blocker that only allows me 30 minutes of tiktok and till date its a treat. I salivate for it. When I tap the app and my app blocker reminds me na-uh. Its not yet time haha. It creates this idea of lack and I am compelled by my programming to want it even more. SO when its finally 9 pm I JUMP straight to the app and watch videos for 30 minutes and all of a sudden its fun again. I laugh and I watch reels beginning to end. Because I created an idea of lack. So I'm compelled to want it more and value it more. Because my hedonistic nature wants to avoid lack because lack=pain.

Once when I was single I went out with this billionaire-adjacent guy that was 33 and the most dead man I had ever seen. Nothing to look forward to nothing to bring him joy nothing. And when you look at it, it makes no sense like you can do whatever you want? BUT THATS EXACTLY the problem. Because there is no restriction there is no pleasure. I've never seen eyes that dead. Coming from an already wealthy family so everything has always been available all the time. You see me I have SUCH joy in achievements because its not baseline for me. First time I flew on a plane is etched in my mind because I wasn't sure I would have it ever again. First time I took myself with my own money that I earned to a cafe? I still have that picture in my phone. Etched into my brain. Tattooed on there. It was such an experience! Looking at the menu knowing I don't know 90% of these things so I want to try them all but budget!!! Experience. He never had that because daddy's money and mommy's money let him know he could do that anytime. So it wasn't experience it was just Monday. There was no lack there.

In my house no snacks and I do calorie counting except I need to balance my calories with nutrition so most of my meals are very basic/ organic/ nutritional. For this reason when I see I can fit ONE ice cream into my diet I could die. I bite into that thing with so much pleasure no one gets it. Like no I run a STRICT program with my body but today I have space for 999999kg of atrificial sweeteners this is a treat for me. I take pictures and savor the bites and think about it for hours like ugh. If I calculate my nutrition x calories for the day and I have some space for 200 more I start fantasizing about all the junk I can finally choke down and spend time at the supermarket picking it out then I find a seat and get my headphones and bite into it. Midnight snack people can NOT relate at all. Because no restrictions. When I had access to YouTube all day I had trouble picking which video to watch and had choice paralysis. But now I only get 30 minutes I KNOW what I want to watch even before i log on. I only get 10 minutes to use AI in a day so when I use it I make sure its something I actually need it for. Unlike back in the day when I was asking chatGPT what should i wear today?

Restriction leads to pleasure. Pleasure is proof of a desire met. Desire is the science of free will. Free will is the blueprint of a god. Be a god.

a) Learning discipline

Reason most people have it hard learning and being disciplined is most of us associate discipline with pain. I'm African and where I'm from to be 'disciplined' literally means to be beaten up. "Discipline your child" = Beat sense into your child. For most of your childhood discipline involved some level of self abandonment. To be an adult is to relearn what it means to be disciplined. Is to realize discipline is the highest level of self love. Oh But Mother How

Fear Not. I got you.

I call it 'future banking'. I'm doing it for the future versions of me that deserve my love. Making my bed after I wake up so the future version of me has a clean bed to lie in. Saying no to alcohol because future me deserves a healthy liver and complete memory. Studying because future me deserves good grades. So when I look at my clothes on my bed after laundry thinking oh fuck this I can just steam them when I need them I shake my head no because future me deserves a clean bed, an organized room and organized laundry. So fine I'll do it. Why can't I just eat fries ONE TIME literally just ONE TIME? Because that's how habits form. Once you cross one line ONCE you'll keep crossing it. You won't stop. So no not even once. Because I deserve to have my boundaries respected, ESPECIALLY by myself. THIS is discipline.

b) Learning how to study. Now whyyyy would I do this at the bright age of 24, you ask. Because you learned WHAT to read, not how to read and it will trickle. At the base everything is connected. Your ability to sit and study aerodynamics is directly tied to your ability to study how to fix your own car so you don't get charged 6789878947848449$ for premium air from Dubai and be stuck 789789 hours on roadside because your car broke down. Learn how to learn. Because learning is a lifelong practice. Matter of fact learning IS life. As a child you are taught and you are forced to study so you do it for survival, but as an adult the pressure does not exist and you have to do it yourself from sheer free will. And it is adulting to learn how to learn.

How do I learn?

Well, depends on personality. Some people sit for 787 hours and focus. Some people listen when its being taught and just understand. The superiors learn the old way- apprenticeship. This fully depends on you as a person. A fish is a fish a bird is a bird a wolf is a wolf.

Fix your relationship with learning from something you had to do to something you need to do. Learn how to learn.

c) Learning to be in your body

Escapism is the science of survival. If I asked you, right now, what do you feel in your body - you know, the thing you literally live in- you'll have no idea. Unless you're experiencing migraines or cramps or some other large scale thing, you won't know. You won't know you have some tension in your mid back etc etc etce. Because survival requires some level of autopilot. On some level we ALL operate on some level of diassociation.

Adulting is the process of coming back to your body.

Daydreaming, maladaptive or otherwise, chronic scrolling, dissociation, etc etc etc. The science of survival.

To be an adult is to live. And your first home is your body. Unless you die you will never leave it. BuT AsTrAL PrOjEcTiOn bae. baby. My love. listen to me. you will NEVER leave your body, unless you die. As long as you are alive, your actual home is your body. Download. come back home. This is adulting. Come back home. You're not 6 and daddy is screaming at you and you can't physically leave because the consequences are unsurvivable you're 25. Those tactics that safely kept you alive as a child, thank them and come back home. You're 25 now. Come back home.

made a whole account based on this @exnefelibata

d) Fixing your relationship with pleasure

Pleasure is the completion of desire. Pleasure happens when you had a desire then you met it. Pleasure is the marker of sovereignty. Your current relationship with it is probably shame. Because as a child shame is necessary to keep you safe. But you're adulting. Basically, divorce shame.

Me setting my natural rhythm : One hour to let my thoughts run. One hour to face myself and my thought. One hour to write. One hour to study. One hour to- yeah no one cares what hour it is, as long as when you go to bed you spent one hour doing this one thing. And no one cares about the specific thing, its about the field. Yeah as long as you work out for one hour. Weights? Cardio? Pilates? OH WHO CARES just work out for an hour and-

Me to others: YEAH SO SPECIFICS

Thats what you're looking for. In high school I had a teacher that kept reminding us that life is already hard so you don't need to make it hard. And how do you do this, you stick to base one. To the most simple base you can.

Base 1 has a simple formula thats more paralell than lateral. Problem x Solution run parallel to Root causation x prevention.

Example. You have a problem with your skin- hyperpigmentation. The solution is pretty simple- even skin tone. So that side of the equation is pretty much done. On the other side, parallel to this, you have root and prevention. Whats the root of your hyperpigmentation? Probably scarring, because you keep bursting your pimples. Okay so whats prevention? Don't burst pimples. Maybe get pimple patches. Heal your inflammation whatever way is available.

These two equations are base 1.

Get whatever will cause cell turnover and healing (say, retinol) on side one. And then on side two you have just don't get inflammation and when you do, do NOT burst and consider pimple patches.

Easy. Base 1. Simple. Don't complicate it with 67997757 step skin care steps. What's the problem? okay what's the solution? Okay done. On the other side, what caused this, okay what do you prevent it so you don't run into the same problems forever?

Kindness comes from a place of humanity, while niceness comes from a place of manipulation. When you are kind you're authentic to yourself, but making the choice to be humane in delivery while when youre nice you're attempting to control the outcome of a situation to fit whatever is safe or dersiable to you.

example. I asked if you can do my share of work for me. You do not want to. If you were kind you'd say "Im not sure i could help you there" and let it at that. If you were nice youd say "Sure I'd love to!"

Both have their place, and its all dependent on consequences. Be nice to people that have more power than you so you don't suffer from ego. Reality beats idealism. In an ideal world you should be able to be kind and thats it. In reality being nice will do you more favors, depending on power and consequences.

ThiS iS ToO HaRd yeah for you. For YOU. YoU CaN'T no babes YOU cant. I can. I will. I am. Sit back and watch. Just shushhh and watch do you know what I am? This is MY world you're just in it sit down please. BuT WhAt If oh who cares. I'll make it work. I'll make it all work.

My one little life that the good lord gave to me to rejoice and be glad in and be fruitful and multiply in is the one you expect me to live according to your little limited mindsets? If you could just not? Yeah can you not?

Both beliefs are wrong. First of all, there is no good, no bad, just experience and perspective. People that lost jobs during covid would say Covid was bad. People that gained jobs during covid (influencers, &c) think its the best thing to ever happen. Experience and perspective. IS this good? is this bad? how misled. How do I make this work?

The idea that there's a good thing is making you stay stuck in limbo because you're trying to get the good. But that doesn't exist. Things just happen. RiGhT DeCiSiOn no just decision, and then whatever happens, happens. ladies we talked about this, remember? There's no such thing okay? In six years you look back from a different perspective and the interpretation of the experience is different. From Oh MY GoD I CaNt BeLiEvE I wAs FiReD to thank god I lost that job.

Second. You should've known this by now but just in case its knowledge but not belief- you can NOT control the future pls studying Medicine doesn't mean you'll work in the profession. Could you predict Covid? When you were making plans for 2020 did you say hehe also we will be in Lockdown so let me- NOPE. It just happened. Life just happens. The universe is in fact, a mind of its own. You do NOT have as much control as you'd wish. You could get fired. Become disabled. meet someone new and everything changes. Have an experience that changes everything. The future EVENTS are completely out of your control, regardless of what your manifesting Guru told you.

So then what is life about? Adaptation. If I HaVe No ConTRoL ThEn- yes you do. Over yourself. Which the only one you need but ah I digress.

So making decisions is hard because you're thinking you're some kind of god. And this mindset does have its own place yes but not here. Just decide. Just pick one and stick to it. If it works like you wanted okay. If it doesn't also okay. Just pick one.

How to deal with indecision? Just decide. Just pick one. You have options, yes? Pick one.

Not forever, at some point you will have to start thinking. And the prerequisite to that is knowing who you are. If I said land or Ocean? And you know you are fish you just say ocean you don't have to overthink. But if you don't know what you are you overthink it maybe whole time you are bird. So my message will ALWAYS be know yourself. Learn who you are. Not your ideal not your prime not the best your bla la. just who am I? Everything else will follow. BUT UNTIL YOU GET THERE just pick one.

There's no good or bad decision, just decision. You can not control future events anyway.

If you ask my man he's an anti feminist. Actually abolish feminism. Feminism ruined the world. In action, however, he's more feminist than I am. He thinks relationships should be 70/40 where he takes up 70% of the work and I'll do 30 because being female is hard enough. He thinks bride price should be paid to the bride not her father as back up money in case the wedding doesn't work out she has a backup. He thinks (knows) my money is my money his money is our money. He has more to say about women getting hurt in media and the glorification of female pain than I do. However, if you ask him, feminism is bad. What's important to me is a feminist, not someone that says they're a feminist. That's why he's my man.

When I'm booking an Airbnb / place to stay all I care about is wifi, swimming pool and hot water plus location. All these other things are useless to me. There's sauna there's gym there's bla bla no one cares. No you can't charge me more for things I don't care about. Is there a pool?wifi? Hot water shower? Booked. Charging me extra for shit I won't even use is funny who cares about gym do I look like I work out (I do). So I don't let places overcharge me for bs I don't care about.

3. I don't care about follower count because this is Tumblr I'm not getting paid. If it was Instagram id care. A LOT. Id be kissing up trying to placate everyone making sure I've served everyone's tiny little feelings because I will be getting paid. And I'm a gold digger I do, in fact, only care about money. So if Iog in and I have a new follower okay I guess who cares. If Iog in and I lost fifty okay. What do I care about? Having somewhere to pour my mother energy. That's it.

3. I had a topic I went to therapy for and as soon as I sorted it out I dropped out. No I don't want to spend hours talking about how shitty my daddy was that's past. Also I have a diary and I also studied psychology I'm here for this ONE thing because I can't figure it out. So when my first therapists kept trying to get me to trauma dump instead of dealing with the topic at hand I dropped them until I found my last therapist and made it clear from day one I'm here to talk about this thing. Yes I know my daddy is shitty and that ruined me. It's not something I'm willing to pay 3/4 of my salary for, though, so let's talk about this one thing. And when I felt huh I understand it now? Bye. Thank you.

4. I'm more nutrition focused than taste focused. So if you give me the best tasting thing BUT the nutrition is wack im not touching it. For this reason I almost never eat out because I need to know what you're putting in my plate I will not spend my money to buy cancer and autoimmune diseases etc. So even if you drag me to a seventeen Michelin star I'm getting fruit juice and specifying do NOT add anything squeeze that damn fruit. I don't careeee I want to know what's on my plate. So seven star two star one star negative five stars I'm getting fruit juice and if there's none I'll take salad, get two bites and throw the rest out. I'm too spiritual for that careless shit, my body is my temple.

5. What's important to me is feeling welcome. So if I was to go to four seasons and they made me feel unwelcome I'll just check out same day and go find some Airbnb in the countryside where host would worship me for existing and be there. Roadside cafe small business where they pack my orders with utmost care and write me a note and pin a picture of me on the wall>>> Prada or Hermes or Michelin star.

6. What's important to me in clothes is durability. Second third fourth fifth sixth ninth hand cloth with gold stitching, color still intact and material that's durable , comfortable and environmental friendly. So Chanel / miumiu and their annoying ass polyester aren't touching me I'll buy the 100% cotton from a zero name brand for 20$ that will last me my whole lifetime , not give me micro plastics and not look like chewed cud after every wash.

a) know what's important to you

b) stick to that.