I cannot understand the reason why I obsess n fantasize over internet men but i have absolutely zero interest in getting to know men irl. I feel like if I met one of these internet men irl I wouldnt dare to pursue them, I would go home and do it in my daydreams. Im not even shy or awkward, I interact just fine with others except I have no interest in doing it irl. I just daydream im dating lewis hamilton.
Same with appearance, I feel jealous over pretty girls online but irl I dont dare to put effort into my looks and hate myself for being "ugly", even tho I look quite cute when i try. I just daydream abt being pretty. Like why do I do this?
This is some vicious horrible self sabotage and i cant figure out the reason. Its like 95% of my day just daydreaming! SOS!
So do you want me to make you understand or give you a cure? One is easy the other isnt.
The easy part. Maladaptive daydreaming is a type of dissociation. You dissociate when you don't feel safe in your reality. This doesn't mean you are NOT safe it means you don't think you are. Can be several reasons
void in your natal chart. (if its this, good luck babe!)
Your childhood wasn't safe and mentally you're still 7 and dad is screaming but you can't save yourself so your brain created a safe space for you to mentally escape to since physically you can't and still survive the consequences. With this usually comes Identity lack OR crisis. a chameleon ish personality (you become whatever is easiest to digest). ADHD ish symptoms. Some level of compulsive lying. A need to constantly prove yourself . Proably daydream about being famous and important. Couldn't focus if there was a gun to your head. A therapist or life coach could patch you up nice and tidy. A good therapist will have you out in a year a good life coach should have you all good in like three months.
A mirror issue. If youre heavily water personality (also natal chart issue). Then you probably don't really feel like a person and are constantly trying to find yourself and you do a lot of shadow work and journalling etc etc etc but it never works. Probably can't pick a career to save your life. The most common phrase is "I Don't Know" especially to things pertaining to you. What do you want to eat? What carer do you want? Where do you want to go? Etc etc etc. Probably tried therapy and it failed with flying colors. GOOD LUCK BABE.
(And this is worse). ALL OF THE ABOVE. In which case honestly just go punch your dad its his fault.Sheer amount of time and money and dedication you'd need for this whew. But then water is the best element. And once you master it, esp as a woman, you become a god. Also its the manifesting element so yay? Which means you're digging your own hell because you keep manifesting your negative view and- . And im not helping. Welp.