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@askscenter
My sister is growing to be someone who makes a lot of risky and bad choices… I’m really worried but as the older sister I constantly feel so much stress over this idk what to do. Ik I can’t control her but I worry so much
maybe a job and hobbies and things to do with your time so you're not parenting other peoples kids and live your life? Some selfishness would help. A degree of narcissism and self centeredness too.
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How do i stop worrying about whether im being fair to everyone in every conflict i have with friend romantic etc. i feel trapped and in unending loop trying to self justify
Start arguing with random people online from some anon account in comment sections etc so you build resistance to people pleasing. Put yourself in situations of conflict in the safety of anonymity on the internet. It's a muscle. It builds up.
Some Shera7 and radical feminism will help with your partner and men in general. Some evolutionary psychology will help with people in general .
Mostly be a bitch for a while. Naturally the pendulum will swing back to balance eventually. If you're in extreme A you have to pot yourself in extreme -A and then naturally the pendulum will oscillate to balance.
Knowing what you're not is even more important than knowing what you are.
"who am I* who are you not?
How do you go from being the consumer/fan/daydreamer to being the person that actually creates and has people respecting them? Ofc I need to actually do something that ppl will admire, but I feel like there is something more to these ppl that I can't imitate or put my finger on.
That thing is called mystery. You don't know them. So you idolize them.
You have to learn to be in your body that's it. The main issue here is you're so disconnected from your body and dissociated from your everyday life. That's what you solve. You download.
hey mother, so basically Ive been only using social media on Mondays and offline the rest. I've been forcing myself to do things irl by realizing that the self that wants to do workout and the self that wants to sit on the couch is the same exact person and stopped fighting myself. I've also been using the prophetic present tense to "manifest" by speaking as if the things I want to accomplish in the future have already happened and all I do then is mentally think the task and suffering needed have already happened so I get it done faster.
Aaannnddd despite all these self help things I've been diligently following since April, I STILL hate being in my body and being in reality, it feels so so so boring and difficult and grating. Its embarrassing but it feels so much better to just scroll and daydream all day. I wish I could just float away out of my body and reality, even though I should feel grateful for all I have. Just being in my mind and body is so so hard. What do I do???
a) What is 'the self'. Spirituals can be a funny bunch like wdym with 'the self'.
b) 'Should Feel Grateful' NO. God, no. Another thing i have against the Manifesting and the Love n Light groups is like- Grateful for what?? Gratitude is- no. Just no okay? No.
c) I Should- survive. You should survive. Thats it thats all.
d) What should you do? Unlearn all that bs. Then learn you.
e) Speaking As If - delusional. How people end up in small white rooms with Origami for a hobby. Psychologically speaking it does the OPPOSITE of what you're hoping. Psychology >> spirituality. One is science the other is a sales lines made for dumbos.
Is this vague yes. Is it helpful? Perhaps. Will I say more? Ofc not. I don't wanna be some spiritual Guru. Spirituality is so often times religious like I took you and then took a muslim / christian side by side you sound the same. & I despise religion
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Do you have a best friend? Thoughts on that
I personally don't because it's not my thing. Actually not sure what I think about it. I get jealous of girls with sister level best friends. I think it's beautiful. I think, if I could, I would have one. This is purely personal. In terms of levelling up etc, idk.
I usually speak from experience and I have none here.
Spiritually speaking people are different so maybe it works for you maybe it doesn't. Psychologically speaking it's not a good idea to concentrate so much of yourself on one person, but then western psychology isn't very reliable to me. I don't always agree with it.
All this to say, I'm not sure.
hi! tw: dumb question as far as I get it the myths people build around you (the ones mentioned in the last post) are based on their own assumptions and stereotypes about African people and you said that with your husband they work especially well because you grew up 2 continents apart. I am moving countries alone in about 1 month and will be in a new cultural environment (although on the same continent Europe) with people who naturally have their own thing going in their head about people in my country which I guess will apply to me too?? but. my people are not seen in a very positive light here in Europe and I am a bit scared that trying to build myths around myself (like you did - or more like letting these myths be born) will not help me with my reputation. idk if it makes sense or not. basically, how do I apply your advice without putting myself in a bad spot because of stereotypes? also as a scholarship student p.s. could you (pretty please) write a post about lying 101?? what to omit when talking to people and when to make up stories and how do you choose what stories to make up? p.s.s. feel free to ignore the ask if it's that dumb, sorry
So the thing is. IDK you or where you're from or where you're going so IDK how to help you. Unfortunately rarely is there 1 shoe fits all. EVER. More than anything your personality, your sense of self, your base makeup will matter the most. I am quiet and keep quiet only works for me because of who I am. If you're bubbly social it'll backfire. Then people will know you're playing games. Then everything else about you, even the truth, will be dismissed. And you'll lose even before you start.
Lying 101 does make for a good post, I'll keep it in mind.
Mother can you give us tips to abandon shame like i feel this innate sense of shame for my existencey my past my preseny my lifey past actions cringe behaviour my job everything what is something i can do just to abandon that
Teal and I don't agree on everything but we do on most things and this is some of them. Nuance, I suppose
How do i stop being a coward? I don't feel I am towards anyone else... I hate it
girl just rip the band aid off if you die you die. Idk how to help you at all idk you or this girl idk the dynamics etc etc
I think manifestation never made sense to me because it seemed so illogical, like they want me to repeat "I'm a confident successful woman" 100x but logically I can tell I'm not? The loa girls tell me "think of a green car and you manifested it!"and I'm like well no girl they were always there I'm just noticing it now. Even in my daydreams it's never me doing those things bcs I think logically even in a dream scenario idris elba wouldn't look at me, so it's like a character doing all the things. I think it's bcs my chart is mostly air so I'm too logical. Which I haaaate! Basically I'm asking how do we change our internal state of being?
Idk what 'air' means Im not into that side of astrology
The problem is the need for Idris Elba to look at you in the first place.
10/10 taste in males.
"too logical" you mean realistic?
The loa girls need help. You do NOT want to live in a world where LOA works at ALL. Especially as a woman.
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but wait mother I thought that manifestation is mentally believing you want/can do something and then doing it in real life (of course not just repeating it mentally 100x like the law of assumption girls). Then how are the daydreaming girls accidentally manifesting their negative worldview? Especially if they are always thinking of happy daydreams to avoid reality? If only those daydreams would pop into reality like the law of assumption girls swear they do LOL.
No that's called self confidence. Manifesting is when you get something simply because you a. Wanted it b. Were it.
It's a long story there's a whole reason I don't like talking about this topic because unfortunately there still is no one shoe fits all with this.
Some people can lie to themselves and it'll work some people can't. It depends. Like I said major water zero fire people manifest easily because water is a mirror. Back in the day before they had mirrors they looked on water surfaces to see reflections, remember? Mirrors just reflect what there is. No questions asked no nothing. Whatever it sees you get. Major fire people can NOT do that because fire is the element of illumination and truth. Poor people can't even lie in peace they ALWAYSSS get caught. ALWAYSSS. but fire is also about passion so they manifest by being go getters. Depending on what fire there is. Earth people- you see how it's different.
You manifest your current STATE not desires. If your current state is 'Im not good enough in this reality I have to mentally be in another' that's what keeps happening. You don't get to actually marry Damson Idris you get This World I'm In Sucks. And you trap yourself in the cycle. So it gets worse. You get your State Of Being (if you're a mirror person aka major water) not desire.
help me mother...i used to be a hugeee doormat. over years I've developed a stronger sense of self and selfishness (ur blog helped me sm) but there's one person - my childhood bff - that takes me back to the person i used to be... she's not a bad person but my doormat tendencies come back with her. I get so mad and uncomfortable because the way i act w/ her isn't alignde with how i see myself or how i act towards ANYONE else in my life
We truly aren't suitable as friends. but we've been close so long that it's scary to imagine life without her or even her wrath if i decided to stop being friends with her
distance is not an option (that will get an angry confrontation on my lack of effort). i'm not brave enough to cold turkey it. for some reason i don't feel safe at the thought of losing her
give me some perspective pls 😢
that reason is called cowardice.
well let me ask this please as a h*rny af 20 yo, wht am I supposed to do Im not ready to give chances to just anyone also I don't think I can wait till like 27, I want to hv s*x but I don't want to be in a relationship at this age Im in a country where having s*x without marriage is condemned. this is on my mind 24/7 its not healthy im not in a place to afford finanically stable freak with a vasectomy rn , wht am I supposed to do just do it myself for 7 years to come?
it took me courage to ask this
The vetting process for an FWB is very taxing but not imossible. I'll give you tips .
Older. MUCH older. Monetie it if you must. We are talking 50+. Why, those people have already played all the games and they are tired now. They don't have the energy to attempt to punsih you for not being what they asked by tarnishing your name they have a wife and family to protect if they let it out they, too, suffer. They will not be chasing some relationship with you.They have as much to lose as you do. Just don't be stuipid ok? If you're smart, it might be the bestd ecision you make.
IUD. ASAP.
Condom, ALWAYS. This is NOT negitiable if you say this and they even attempt to have a conversation, chapter closed. Block and move on.
Do NOT leave a trail. Call don't text. Don't send pictures don't do any of that dumb teenage stuff don't I MiSs YoU DaDdEh on text don't. Don't ever leave a trail.
As FAR away from town as possible. Matter of fact two provinces/ states/counties away
Do NOT get familiar with them . Hit and run. Matter of fact get a rotation going and hobbies to do so you don't do stupid bs like catch feelings & other mental illnesses
hold on a sec mother, u always say that manifestation is fake, but then how can these water sign nefelibata girls accidentally be manifesting their negative worldview?
I didn't say manifesting is fake I said I hate manifesting community. Same way I hate femininity community but I don't think it's fake. Same way I wouldn't agree with most feminists (choice and intersectional feminists I'm looking right at you right now) but I wouldn't say I'm anti feminist
I think and know for a fact most of the manifesting community is delusional and should seek help especially the Law Of Assumption clan. I know manifesting is real.
Girl are you watching the ATLA live action? What are you watching these days?
I HATE IT SO MUCH oh my god they made my girl Suki a boycrazy girl they made Toph more feminine they- UGH. DO NOT GIVE MEN POWER OVER FEMINIST ART. Im so irritaed by it omg. Its worse than that mess of a movie they tried coming up with back in the day Im irritated asf Im irritated Im irritated asf Im irritated Im irritated asf Im irritated Im irritated asf Im irritated Im-
I've outgrown my BL phase I think. Either that or they are no longer making good BL Mangas/ films. I've been trying to get into ANY but I cant. I'm taking recommendations from everyone but that one Mr A's Farm suggestionist. You never suggest anything to me again I have trauma. Also my favs aren't updating (does Kyou even remember they were writing shutline atp?)
Rn reading the Muderbot Series by Martha Wells. Since Project Hail Mary (My girl Eva Stratt) I've been on an astronomy book run and yay. Putting it out there Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins is an easy 10, and Im not a wlw person. Lately I've been reading more.
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Ik you dgaf, but as I read that chicken liver tastes like mud I was shocked I LOVE a chicken's liver
I can't stand organ meats omg I have to blend it and pinch my nose and gulp it down and then follow it up with some flavor bomb like mango juice and sit there and think about my life choices esp the texture I just cant but to each their own. But it could be worse. It could be catfish.
I cannot understand the reason why I obsess n fantasize over internet men but i have absolutely zero interest in getting to know men irl. I feel like if I met one of these internet men irl I wouldnt dare to pursue them, I would go home and do it in my daydreams. Im not even shy or awkward, I interact just fine with others except I have no interest in doing it irl. I just daydream im dating lewis hamilton.
Same with appearance, I feel jealous over pretty girls online but irl I dont dare to put effort into my looks and hate myself for being "ugly", even tho I look quite cute when i try. I just daydream abt being pretty. Like why do I do this?
This is some vicious horrible self sabotage and i cant figure out the reason. Its like 95% of my day just daydreaming! SOS!
So do you want me to make you understand or give you a cure? One is easy the other isnt.
The easy part. Maladaptive daydreaming is a type of dissociation. You dissociate when you don't feel safe in your reality. This doesn't mean you are NOT safe it means you don't think you are. Can be several reasons
void in your natal chart. (if its this, good luck babe!)
Your childhood wasn't safe and mentally you're still 7 and dad is screaming but you can't save yourself so your brain created a safe space for you to mentally escape to since physically you can't and still survive the consequences. With this usually comes Identity lack OR crisis. a chameleon ish personality (you become whatever is easiest to digest). ADHD ish symptoms. Some level of compulsive lying. A need to constantly prove yourself . Proably daydream about being famous and important. Couldn't focus if there was a gun to your head. A therapist or life coach could patch you up nice and tidy. A good therapist will have you out in a year a good life coach should have you all good in like three months.
A mirror issue. If youre heavily water personality (also natal chart issue). Then you probably don't really feel like a person and are constantly trying to find yourself and you do a lot of shadow work and journalling etc etc etc but it never works. Probably can't pick a career to save your life. The most common phrase is "I Don't Know" especially to things pertaining to you. What do you want to eat? What carer do you want? Where do you want to go? Etc etc etc. Probably tried therapy and it failed with flying colors. GOOD LUCK BABE.
(And this is worse). ALL OF THE ABOVE. In which case honestly just go punch your dad its his fault.Sheer amount of time and money and dedication you'd need for this whew. But then water is the best element. And once you master it, esp as a woman, you become a god. Also its the manifesting element so yay? Which means you're digging your own hell because you keep manifesting your negative view and- . And im not helping. Welp.
Anyway good luck babe!