Your Queer Poet

Heyy it's been a while so I thought it'll be cool to share some more recs of amazing fics (part 10!!)

For more please check all my others recs here

☆ Scott Hunter and Ilya!

What The Fuck Is An Elder Queer by luulapants

Teen / 32K / Completed

Rozanov made a dismissive noise. "No, no, I will pick you up. Send me your address."

"I'm not giving you my home address."

"Why not!"

"Because you'll probably post it on social media to psych me out before our next game."

That made Rozanov laugh. "It is good idea," he said. Stopped laughing. Started again. Blew out a breath like he had to get himself together. "I might do this to you," he allowed, "but you have nice boyfriend living with you now. I would not do this to him. You are safe."

In which Ilya Rozanov adopts himself into Scott and Kip's household and refuses to leave. Kip finds this very sweet. Scott is going to kill him.

(Ilya finds a support system in Scott and Kip, it's really cute)

sure grandpa, let's get you to bed by goldenraeofsun

Teen / 7K / One-shot

Scott can't stand Ilya Rozanov. Sure, Rozanov is a generational wunderkind, but he's also annoying as hell and always ready with a chirp.

"Do you have a spot in the nursing home yet, Hunter? I am hearing from my grandma they go fast!"

"Are you getting tired? It must be past your bedtime already!"

"What kind of skating is that? Is your arthritis acting up again?"

Scott's age is Rozanov's favorite topic, but now that Scott has come out, he shudders to think about what Rozanov will throw at him this season.

Or, 5 times Rozanov makes fun of Scott for being old, and 1 time he makes fun of Scott for being gay.

(Ilya being a professional ragebaiter)

☆ Social media madness

What’s Wrong With Them (Affectionate) by Ef02

Teen / 8K / Completed

NHL Enthusiast @ hockey4life This is officially the weirdest day in All Of Hockey

Ily-a @ ilyahoezenov

So we're agreed that they're not actually getting married right. Like something else is going on

Hayden Pike's 5th Child @ heydenpike

Well obviously Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov aren't actually getting married, they've obviously been fucking with us all day

What if Shane and Ilya decide to explode the internet by letting their friends post about their wedding, before anyone knows they're together. A chaotic way to come out if they could do it on their own terms.

(Hollanov skip coming out to the public and instead just get married and share that on social media)

Ilya Rozanov's Guide to Reinforcing the Closet by pink_starfish

Teen / 11K / One-shot

"Are you... are you saying that you want to be in a relationship with Shane Hollander?" The room held a sort of tension, like everyone in it was holding their breath, waiting for llya to vehemently deny it.

The reporter had taken his words in the complete opposite way than Ilya had meant them, but he supposed he was too committed to stop now. "Of course not."

"Of course." The reporter parroted, laughing nervously.

"Obviously, we are already in a relationship."

In Ilya's rookie season, he impulsively jokes about dating Shane to an invasive reporter. Then, he just... keeps doing it, since publicly announcing it enough times that everyone writes it off as a joke is a great way to hide a clandestine relationship.

(Really funny social media fic, all problems caused by ilya himself)

#getLilyout by viridescented

Teen / 10K / One-shot

Emily @ emilystwitterstuff21

Shane Hollander being a physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend was not on my bingo card this year. What the fuck is going on??

Clara @ hockeyfan101

Of all hockey players it's SHANE HOLLANDER??? The golden boy of the NHL that does no wrong?? Omg. Istg men are trash.

Or: everyone thinks Shane abuses his girlfriend Lily, and Yuna Hollander is not at all amused about, while Shane is just upset that his parents have such an issue with him being gay.

(Honestly infuriating fics about hockey Twitter in the heated rivalry universe, there's several fics in the series and I recommend checking them all)

☆ Will kick you in the heart

skin still wet, still on my skin by IsvsWorld

Mature / 9K / One-shot

Lily looked deliberately over Jane's shoulder at that, her delicate fingers running through her smooth, ash blonde hair. She had started bleaching it a few years earlier.

"Sure," she laughed, sharp and flinty, "When are we not fighting?"

Jane and Lily as WAGs

(Shane and Ilya as actual wags trapped in marriages while sneaking around with each other – this honestly wrecked me)

holy matrimony by lowkey_existential_despair

Explicit/ 31K / Completed

There’s a sign in front of Shane. It says Welcome to Scott Hunter and Kip Grady’s Happily Ever After in a cursive font that makes Shane think of Etsy. Shane’s stomach churns. He briefly squeezes his empty ring finger. He feels, all at once, like he might cry. Instead, he swallows, and breathes, and pastes a smile on his face, and marches his ass down to Scott and Kip’s fucking wedding of the century.

(A bit of non-linear storytelling and actually amazing writing, here David doesn't find them kissing and stuff kinda evolves from there, definitely worth a read)

☆ angsty read and a lot of feelings

unsportsmanlike conduct by sohardtosay

Explicit / 23K / One-shot

When you're with her," Ilya continues, voice rough and breathless, "and she does fuck all for you no matter how hard you close your eyes, do you try to angle your hand so she brushes up on the scar? Do you do everything you can to remember it exists? Am I there with you, Hollander? Always?"

Shane wants to touch him-so he does the only thing he's allowed to do.

He throws the first punch.

Or: After Shane and Ilya's first on-ice fight sends the media into a frenzy, the league forces them to date to control the narrative.

Have you guys seen that clip

Does it still count for the playoffs sex ban if it's with a dude? You know, like the poophole loophole. No I'm not asking for me! Wait that's not why you picked a man right?

Can I bring my girlfriend when we go to Boston Pride? Or is that not allowed?

Do you guys just get to leave the toilet seat up at home?

Are men better at sucking dicks?

Wait so were you lying about liking Dunkin too because I thought gay people prefer Starbucks?

Aren't you sad you'll never be able to do to it raw? And the follow-ups: doesn't it make your dick smell like ass? Wait but you never have to worry about getting pregnant that's awesome bro.

Are you going to make me vote now?

How can you tell you're like actually into dudes? Because like I can look at a dude and go “yeah he's hot” but I don't want to bang him

Aww man you must miss pizza. Because of the gluten. I thought gay people can't have it?

If you got married who would be the groom?

If you could suck your own dick, do you think you'd be more turned on by having your dick sucked or by doing the sucking?

Does this mean they'll let us in the gay clubs now? Because we've got a gay.

So who nags you to put your socks in the hamper? Dude you guys must have socks everywhere.

Did you just bang all those chicks so people wouldn't think you're gay? Because I think you might have overdone it bro.

Is that why Hollander randomly started dressing well? Because he turned gay?

Who sends you the flags? Have you got yours yet?

How the fuck did you know he was gay before you hit on him? Or have you just been trying to pull half the league and Hollander's the only one that took the bait. Wait did you hit on Scott Hunter?

(drunk and emotional) please don't have Hollander’s babies until after you've retired. We need your body for hockey

I just can't get my head around what you guys do together. Like do you just hang out doing dude shit and then fuck? Like do you play Xbox and then suck each other off? Because that sounds awesome.

Have you ever got turned on by your own dick?

by Madfordinos

Shane, pacing in Ilya's living room and wringing his hands: Ilya, Scott Hunter knows about us we need to kill him we need to make it look like an accident we need to do it now

(She then also prints a dinosaur and adds it to the tree, like on the top of the tree)

Shane: who is this, baby?

‘I didn’t know Peloton was a porn company now’

‘So if I get a Peloton I’ll get a hot husband? He’ll just appear beside me?’

‘You ever look at two people and just know they’re freaks?’

‘Did you see how Ilya mouthed ‘more’ to Shane when he was drinking??’

Ilya sees a trend on social where a couple picks a color and then goes into a store and have to get the other person things in that color, in specific categories.

They pick red after a lively debate but it’s the color Shane is most ok with when it comes to random food items (he can’t really explain why but Ilya doesn’t need him to), and their categories are: a favorite snack (a treat, not overly healthy), a favorite drink (can’t be their two most likely drinks - coke and ginger ale), and something silly.

Shane is very confident picking out things for Ilya. He keeps an organized list of things Ilya likes in his notes app, so he starts scrolling through that as he wanders away from Ilya.

Ilya is going for vibes, as always, but also has an encyclopedia’s worth of Shane-knowledge locked forever in his brain.

Thirty minutes later they check out in different lines to prolong the surprise, even though Ilya is trying to sneak a peek the whole time.

They get out to Shane’s “boring” car and Ilya insists on going first. For the food he got the red wax Babybel cheeses. They’re hardly a treat for most, but cheese for Shane is practically a sin and Shane gets a soft smile on his face as he pulls them out of the bag. Next is a four pack of fancy blood orange ginger ale.

Shane: We said no ginger ale!

Ilya: Is not *just* ginger ale! Is blood orange! Very different thing!

Shane: Agree to disagree, but I will accept because I really want some ginger ale right now.

Last is a red crop top t-shirt from the women’s section. Shane’s a little confused until Ilya says, “This one is actually more a gift for me.” “Pervert!” Shane says as he balls up and throws the shirt in Ilya’s face. “Ok, my turn!”

Shane starts with the drink. He’d picked some horrible energy drink called something like “Red Card Raspberry” that has more Red Dye 40 in it than should be legal, but he knows Ilya loves these drinks and doesn’t allow himself to have them often because he knows Shane doesn’t like that he drinks them. “I will drink this before next run to be sure I beat you,” Ilya says while wagging his eyebrows at Shane.

Shane hmphs and moves on to the silly item he picked - a red slinky. Ilya scrunches his brows in confusion, but Shane explains, “It’s a slinky!” Which doesn’t mean anything to Ilya. Shane figured this might happen since Ilya’s childhood wasn’t very… fun. He pulls up a video on his phone and shows a slinky going down a set of stairs. Ilya’s face is lit up like he’s a five year old on his birthday morning, and Shane gets a smug little smile on his face. “We can try it out when we get home.” Ilya pulls him across the cars center console for a kiss.

Shane pulls away, “Hold on! There’s one more…” as he pulls out a red can of whipped cream. He knows Ilya likes to put it on his coffee, but they rarely keep it in the house.

Ilya is looking at Shane like he’s going to eat him.

Shane: You know, for your morning coffee?

Ilya: I think I will use it on something else.

The next morning the red crop top and empty red whipped cream can are thrown on their bedroom floor. Ilya and Shane are snuggled up together, and Shane looks up at Ilya. But Ilya’s looking at something on top of their dresser.

Shane: You’re thinking about the slinky, aren’t you?

Ilya: I think I’ve earned it, no?