Lux

Headmate list:

People you might see writing on this blog:

Pold (p) - he/him, gay (levi) cis guy, an animal spirit originally (accidentally) created as a dæmon. Presents as an African Hawkeagle most of the time, does have an alternate form of a white cheetah with very faded spotting. Used to be a subsystem but fused years ago. He's our main protector and oldest headmate (by when they arrived to the system not in-sys age).

Sfyxon (s) - they/them nonbinary aroace, a dragon "high-priest"(for lack of a better word) subservient to a dragon-god of the sun. The only headmate who actively worships a god. (Most of us are agnostic) They won't make it their own personality though! Primary traumaholder and caretaker.

Finn (f) - he/him demiboy/transmasc bi guy, a changeling usually presenting as something similar to a dnd cobold. His right arm is missing in headspace which does impact the way he's able to use the body's arm, though he wouldn't consider himself physically disabled.

Kjannrýa (k) - she/her/it aro polysexual (genderfuck-ey vibes, would consider herself a woman or lady but not girl), a Kelpie and monocon subsystem of two (the personalities don't have distinct names and are mostly tied to appearance/her true form vs her horse-like form, prefer to be treated as a singular being) usually presents as a white horse with scattered red scales and a shiny, elegant fish-tail. Formerly a persecutor, nowerdays she helps us keep our self-esteem up.

An (a) - any pronouns, demiromantic lesbian fem-leaning genderflux, a changeling and Finn's sister. Uses her shapeshifting abilities liberally, but we've never seen her true form. Usually presents as a anthropomorphic lanky black dog with purple eyes and intricate white patterns in their fur, sometimes with 5 eyes and/or long fangs. Secondary traumaholder. In a qpr with benefits with kjann.

Bea (b) - she/her fae/faer, bi genderfae/girl! I'm the one writing this out, hi! I'm also a changeling and hail from the same universe as Finn (who is my bf) and An, but I'm not related to them. I usually present as a chocolate Tortie cat with a green and a pink eye, insect wings sprouting from my lower back, antennae and small decorative mandables. Bug-kitty essentially :3

Kallypso X (x) - he/she, no defined sexuality (might be aplatonic tho, not sureee) bigender. Doesn't front nearly as consistently as the rest of us and isn't too big on talking to people so don't expect to see him around here. She is a basilisk-based creature with one half crow, one half aquatic snake (yes, he has two heads. Yes, she talks with both of them. Insists he is a singular being, strongly dislikes being called they/them for that reason!)

Headmates you probably/definitely won't see posting here:

(t) - he/him, little. We won't share personal details like name or age. He likes dinosaurs and is a dinosaur, thats all you need to know.

(j) - ðe/ðim, little. Won't share personal stuff. Ancient like... demigod or something, giant, horned, gargoyle-morph ball python. Real sweet pea.

Narrator (r) - it/its, overarking conciousness for our system, helps us keep things in check. Not really sentient itself, thats why it can't interact. Presents as a security camera mounted in our fronting room.

Noėl (n) - he/? (? Just in typing/optional), a spirit presenting as a black cat. Chills around as a projection in the outerworld, doesn't function as a fronting system member.

Winifred (w) - she/! (! Just in typing/optional), a spirit presenting as a white stag (yes, a stag, not a doe!). Functions similarly to Noėl. While not coming to the system at the same time, they function as a pair.

Sorry for the repeating colors, they mostly serve visual clarity for me. But yeah! In the picture at the top of this post you can see all of us, youll just have to figure out who is who based on the given info, sorry lmao

None of us are introjects from pre-existing sources but essentially all of us hold some exo-memories of the worlds we come from (whether we believe we were actually there in a previous life or not is individual to the headmate, some of us are more psychological than spiritual about it.) Feel free to ask questions about our backstories, there is tons of stuff we already know about ourselves and probably even more we havent discovered yet! lol

Our system size is stable at 12 headmates, we shouldn't split/form new headmates anymore. Fingers crossed at least.

-b

[p, looking at k drawing] Girl why do you hold your pen like that

[k looks at him, confused] like what?

[closeup of hand holding pen with the index finger doing jack shit]

Transcript:

[s looking at our phone] time to finally join the NSFW puzzleheads server! [arrow pointing at s] innocent AroAce who hasn't seen real NSFW in their life

[Phone with a visible image of two characters cuddling, SFW] [s] Aww, they're cuddling!

[s scrolls one post higher]

HOLY HELL-- [s flinches back in shock as phone (covered by a censor bar) drops to the ground]

[a, swinging their legs joyously while smiling at the phone] I got to look at it later as a treat, After a big exam we had. ([s] that I wrote.)

[page one] being a disabled headmate in an ablebodied body is... weird.

[page two] Just to get a few things out of the way: I do not consider myself physically disabled. For the most part I can Function similarly to my headmates. This experience falls into our BID (Body Integrity Disorder) It is not voluntary and I am not trying to "appropriate being disabled". If I could choose, I'd probably have both arms.

[page three] My arm is weird. Its there but its also not. Sometimes I can use it, sometimes I cant. Our muscle memory is shared, which is why Im able to draw or write at all. I dont think about moving my arm, I think about putting the line on the paper. Still, on bad days I struggle with line control.

[page four] On good days I can mask. Sometimes I even forget about it. At least until I get reminded. It starts to hurt pretty bad when I overuse my arm. maybe I'm using the muscles wrong or something. I don't think I can actually lose control over it, but it does feel like I cant use it at those moments.

[page five] When my arm doesn't cooperate, I have a some stable positions it can rest in. Just relaxing the arm gets really uncomfortable really quickly. Very inconspicuous though. The dinosaur arm is what I do most times. Probably the reason our arm is sore the following day. resting the hand on the shoulder or chest is comfy, but looks really stupid. I do wish it wasn't there sometimes, but it is really useful when it works since its our dominant hand. also all my headmates need it.

I'm Kjannrýa. I usually go by Kjann, and k is my shortsel.

Do you know the "Evil Alter" trope? I used to be essentially that when I first came here. I was a persecutor, put in system terms. I insulted and misgendered my headmates. I was not a good person.

It's been a while since then. I'm celebrated as an exemplory redeemed villain who's left her evil way behind and issomeone good now. You know what? That's BULLSHIT.

Yes, I care about the people I share a body with. And yes, there are boundaries I regret crossing in the past (mostly the intentional misgendering) There are times where I wish I could go back to who I used to be though.

And it's frustrating because I can't talk about it without feeling like Im dissapointing everyone. I shouldn't care about their opinions but I do. And I hate myself for it. I shut the feelings out. they don't matter.

It doesn't feel too long ago since Kallypso X appeared. I don't mind Kallypso. He fronts occasionally, makes snarky comments, leaves again. sometimes, she manifests our intrusive thoughts. She takes great joy from worsening our mental state. He does what I used to do.

(transcribed text for screenreaders or if my handwriting is too messy)

Hi! I'm Pold! Or just p. that works too.

I'm the oldest headmate we got. I've been here since before our core split. before we became us.

Well, that's not entirely true. We've had imaginary friends almost our whole life. But only I lasted from that era. The others dissapeared. we didn't think we were real back then. Some of their aspects still linger in some of us though. they live on in a new form.

So basically we discovered Hyuns dojo back in september. since then, we've sort of blown up in the community. Not in the largest scale ever since the active community on the discord doesn't feel all that big, but we've gotten to know some of the really really big people in the community! Heck, Hyun, the leader of the dojo himself, the big man, follows us on the website!

Our first big leap happened in October. we did an Arttober Challenge (got a full showcase video on our youtube) Now, we'd gotten some attention before then, but while doing this daily challenge and seriously improving our animation skills at a mildly unhinged rate, we really started getting noticed by some stronger animators in the community (a lot of whom we actually talk to and work with on the semi-daily now, funny how that works.)

In November we celebrated our 18th birthday (We're a legal adult now and while irl not much has changed we feel sort of safer now? I don't know. we get to interact with our fave creators on a more eye-to-eye level since we now treat ourselves as a mostly matured person. At this time we took a break to recover from arttober. We also got a new computer and with that switched programs from roughanimator to the much more powerful Clip Studio.

The whole 'getting noticed by big peeps' can pretty much be traced back to around this time, when one of our now friends messaged us about a collab he was hosting at the time (it can be watched on youtube now, check it out, people popped off!).

He wanted us to do backgrounds for some of the cutscenes. of course we said yes, since we'd recently gotten into painting backgrounds and were starting to get good at it. In the end we did a bunch more stuff than that though lmao- including the thumbnail! Through him we got to know another guy who forwarded us to another collab that we also ended up doing some backgrounds for (including the thumbnail one) (go watch that too, this is the high-quality stuff. Keenlol is cracked.).

And, well, in the end we did some minor assets and a thumbnail for two other collabs that were the respective double releases with the ones mentioned prior. (Surfing and Beach day, Beach day is a genuine masterpiece of storytelling! Shab popped off, we're honored to know the guy)

So basically what happened is we managed to get into the credits of all five major releases in december (the afformentioned four as well as the official community christmas collab)

At some point we started getting more and more asks to join in collabs, to the point we had to actually reject some. It's genuinely mad that there are people out there that want us in their projects. We're currently working as an art director for two collabs, doing backgrounds for another and are a casual participant in all of thiose + two more. Two of these jobs are wrapping up so we're slowly catching up with our schedule, if all goes well we'll be able to work on more personal projects toward the end of february again.

In a recent developement of events we've started catching the attention of some more high-profile animators (even more than until now. How does this happen.) Because of a situation that went down on the hellhole that twitter is there is also a proper ruling to protect LGBTQ+ people in the dojo (before there was just a general rule against discrimination) which is a huge win. Also probably the reason a lot of these BIG animators are noticing us now since we made a statement thanking everyone who vocally supported the trans community (Hyun's Dojo has to be the straightest art community I've ever seen, but also has some of the best allies Ive ever met in it. Im talking cishet white men who use they/them for literally everyone regardless of how gendered their name is until they state their pronouns publicly. Also like, people just being very vocally against the one transphobic guy who started this sitch and being super supportive). Tangent aside, a lot of these high profile animators are trans themselves because of course they are, this is an art community, if the top of the top arent queer where would this world be/lh

Also we have a carrd now! Commissions are still being figured out + closed due to being busy with projects, but we are slowly figuring out a way to manage our own money and eventually hopefully accept payments! Still in the far future tho, for now the carrd serves as a portfolio where you can check out all our recent art!