how isnât hiding in the bathroom a good coping mechanism

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@yourflowersaredying
how isnât hiding in the bathroom a good coping mechanism

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sunshine Diet
1st week:
Day 1 đ 500 calories
Day 2 âď¸ 500 calories
Day 3 đ 300 calories
Day 4 âď¸ 400 calories
Day 5 đ 100 calories
Day 6 âď¸ 200 calories
Day 7 đ 300 calories
Total eaten đ 2300 calories
Total lost đ 11700 calories
.
2nd week:
Day 1 âď¸ 400 calories
Day 2 đ 500 calories
Day 3 âď¸ Fast
Day 4 đ 150 calories
Day 5 âď¸ 200 calories
Day 6 đ 400 calories
Day 7 âď¸ 350 calories
Total eaten đ 2000 calories
Total lost đ 12000 calories
.
3rd week:
Day 1 đ 250 calories
Day 2 âď¸ 200 calories
Day 3 đ Fast
Day 4 âď¸ 200 calories
Day 5 đ 100 calories
Day 6 âď¸ Fast
Day 7 đ 300 calories
Total eaten đ 1050 calories
Total lost đ 12950 calories
.
4th week:
Day 1 âď¸ 250 calories
Day 2 đ 200 calories
Day 3 âď¸ 150 calories
Day 4 đ 100 calories
Day 5 âď¸ 50 calories
Day 6 đ 100 calories
Day 7 âď¸ 200 calories
Total eaten đ 1050 calories
Total lost đ 12950 calories
.
đđť April total eaten: 6400 calories
đđť April total lost: 49600 calories
.
.
I created this diet by thinking of something healthy to do and still lose a lot of weight. I hope you have enjoyed it, feel free to send me questions! Stay healthy. Xo đ
I think itâs getting worse again
Know the feeling when you suddenly stop and think to yourself: âI think I am falling back into the pit again.â?
You are sitting on the bus, or in your car, or you are at school, at work or even at home and you suddenly realize that you are getting bad again.
But why?
You donât really know. You wretch your brain for any trigger. But there is none. Youâve been getting along like usual.
So why?
Sometimes there is no âbecauseâ.
Sometimes you are just not happy. And there is nothing to blame.
But you are keeping it to yourself, except that you eventually tell your therapist about it, but thatâs it. Because maybe, just maybe, itâs just the day or the weather and you will be fine in the morning.
But in most cases it isnât that simple. You stay internally dead. And you canât do anything about it.
You also donât tell your loved ones, because you are scared they might think itâs their fault. For making you unhappy. But they are wrong.
Itâs your fault for being unhappy.
It is what it is, and what it is, is shit.
i need to fucking lose weight
being mentally ill is not fucking fun

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My goals:
⢠be able to wrap my hands completely around any part of my thighs
⢠be able to wrap my hand completely around my upper arm
⢠have a full thigh gap
⢠be under 90 pounds
⢠no longer have a flabby tummy
⢠exercise daily and become more fit
wish i could just cut all this fat off my body, and then some. ugh, how could i let myself get this bad?! i hate so much myself, i wanna die
Tip to Not Binge
Whenever I feel like Iâm about to binge I go look in a mirror. Now wait, I know you think youâve heard this one before, about looking at all your flaws and it grossing you out so you donât want to eat but thatâs not where Iâm headed here. I think thatâs only going to set you up to fail. Youâre just getting yourself in a headspace where you already feel like a failure and so itâs just that much easier to give in. Instead, I encourage you to look in the mirror and look for all of the things youâre excited for. Feel the collarbones under your skin, tilt your head to see the jawline just waiting to peek through. Look how beautiful you could be, how pretty you will be if you just stay on track and donât binge. If you binge itâs just going to set you back. You can do this. Youâre going to be so beautiful. Donât let yourself get in the way of your own happiness.
personal goals
(I ate a lot today so Iâm making a list of what I wish I said to myself when I woke up so I can look at it on a bad day) (is there a way to pin these??)
~motivation~
đ¸feel your collarbones. Theyâre⌠nothing like you wish they felt.
đ¸Squeeze your stomach. C'mon is it really worth it? Wouldnât it look so much better flat?
đ¸now, lie on your side and lift you leg up. Jiggle that thigh. Just imagine. Itâll just get bigger if you eat it.
đ¸see those little bits of fat between your arms and your chest. How many dresses have you said no to because of them? Way too many. Please, do future you a favour and bear a little longer.
đ¸have a look at your little sausage fingers. Do you really want her to call you that again? Wouldnât feel better if the next time she wanted to say that as a joke again, you can show her your dainty hand, with painted nails.
đ¸CHEEKBONES THAT COULD CUT CHEESE.
đ¸your double chin (or 27 chin) your friends love it, but wouldnât it be better if you tryed to do it, but thereâs barely one there anymore.
đ¸the regret you get after it.
đ¸the fear you get when youâre told to wear a leotard and tights
đ¸bikini!! Instead of a swimming costume with a t-shirt.
đ¸youâll be one step further away from your goal. by choice.
~imagines~
đthin little legs in shorts
đwearing a sports bra at dance
đcrop tops
đNew Look clothes!!
đprominent collerbones
đsmall, thin wrists
đbaggy hoodie with shorts as pajamas
đyou get more attention and are treated better when your skinny. Arenât you sick of being the shadow?? (scientifically proven)
đhoney, youâre making more friends, most of who are looking for relationships. donât let yourself be fat for when you meet them, because they will look right past you. imagine the feeling. theyâll flirt with YOU! Theyâll want YOU!
đless calories wasted on food, more spent well on alcohol!!
đimagine when your drunk. youâll be cute and petite with your jeans and crop top. not rolling around like a whale.
đhe might want you back. youâll say no and walk away like a boss.
đjust picture it. sitting in her house, getting ready to go out drinking. and everyone arrives. you look fucking bomb in that outfit.
~i wanna eat, what can i do instead?~
đgo get some water
đyou know how much thinspo helps you. go look at that
đwork out. even if its just light. itâll help more than eating or sitting around.
đplan tomorrows meal and calorie count.
đgo hang out with your friends.
đwalk your dog
đgo to the gym
~lil talk~
Hey, how long have you wanted this? Give the satisfaction to past you and to future you. This little snack⌠will do nothing for you. Are you even that hungry?? Go grab an apple if its unbearable. And you know how proud you are when youâre hungry? Donât you wanna feel that?
Please, weâve been trying for so long. There little snacks are more than they seem.
Please. Dont eat it
That's Why
It was when my mom had to buy her 13 year old daughter lotion for stretch marks It was when I was picking out an outfit and had to keep telling them that the clothes were to small It was picking out homecoming dresses for the other person and saying my size under my breath It was the âdo u really NEED more food?â It was the way the doctors looked at me when they wrote down my medically obese weight on their charts It was the fact that when I told my friend I stopped eating she brushed it off because I wasnât skinny enough to be in danger It was that my friends dad said that after high school when guys stop caring about looks so much, Iâll get all the guys It was the fact that I was the only one at the pool not wearing a bikini It was the fact that Iâd never had a boyfriend or a best friend
Thatâs why I started
Itâs the fact I carry safety pins in my purse because most of my clothes are too big Itâs the âhave you lost weight?â Itâs the âIâm gonna try on a medium shirtâ Itâs the LOSING WEIGHT Itâs not looking as much at sizes because if it looks like it will fit it probably will Itâs the heart race that you get when you see youâve lost even a pound Itâs the thrill of accomplishing something youâve worked so hard for
Thatâs why I kept going
Itâs finally hitting your goal weight Itâs going back to school and watching everyoneâs jaws drop Itâs never worrying about muffin tops or thunder thighs again Itâs having a lazy day and it being cute not slobby Itâs the eating a cookie and not having people think âthatâs why sheâs fatâ because youâre not Itâs the boys that flirt with you Itâs the girls that are jealous of you Itâs the body youâve always wanted
Thatâs why Iâm in the hospital
It was the malnutrition that made you faint It was the over used heart that went into cardiac arrest It was the lack of food that make your hair and nails frail and brittle It was the doctor that couldnât save you It was the therapist that could get to you It was the eating disorder that controlled you
Thatâs why Iâm dead

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Meanspo
You always say that you want to be thin. Youâre always posting thinspo and motivation. Youâre always googling low cal recipes and exercises to do. But what do you do? You eat like a fucking pig, stuff your face with fatty and oily foods. You lay around all day instead of exercising, piling on the layers of fat. Suffocating yourself with your own flabbiness. Your fat spills over your shirt, out of your pants. Your arms jiggle and your thighs wobble every time you take you take a step. You hide your body behind baggy clothes. You know how to fix this. You know how to get thin, how to lose weight, how to become beautiful. Stop making fucking excuses, get off your lazy fat ass. Start exercising, start eating better. Otherwise youâll be the fat ugly friend forever.
You need a private talk? Just message me !:)
can i talk about alex standall for a second bc he was so important to me
alex wasnât perfect. he took revenge on his ex girlfriend in the most awful way and iâm not excusing that.
but nobody saw how much he was hurting after he heard what it did to hannah. nobody noticed how he almost tried to drown himself in the pool, he wanted to play a suicide song with the school band and nobody tried to ask if he was doing okay, nobody cared that he took the âsuicide isnât an optionâ posters down, basically no one -even after hannah- noticed the REAL signs of someone actually wanting to commit suicide.
all everyone cared about was their damn self and what would happen to them when the tapes would come out. alex didnât, he was the only one who understood hannah, owned up from the start to what was on his own tape and never got angry at hannahâs decision to take her own life.
alex standall deserved better.
sometimes I just forget how to speak
I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him how bad it hurt and that I could feel time run out; I could feel my blood run dry in my own veins, but I just waited. I waited until the feeling got to be too much, and my head became too numb to notice, and then I left.
//âI am sorry I didnât say goodbye.â (via theproblemswithmissingyou)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming