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@high-functioning-depression
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Day #13
Had to go back to hospital today. I really didnāt want to cause I have been sleeping so well in my own bed at home. Returning really put my mood down a lot. Got no diagnosis yet but had a talk with a psychologist today. I slept almost the whole day. In the evening my mom came to visit me.
Day #12
Woke up at 5 am cause I was so excited. I get to leave hospital for the night today. Means I get to sleep in my own bed tonight plus I am meeting my friend in a bar which I couldnāt wait for! I had ergotherapy today and made sth for my best friend - she loved it! I got a little drunk with my friends but everything was fine. I asked my friend to get me home cause I still was kinda anxious but everything turned out fine in the end. Even thought we tried to trigger Jessica which worked. He talked to her and told me that she was pretty weak and nearly collapsed. I canāt remember anything about that. Maybe will do an extra post about that. Maybe not. I donāt know.
Day #11
Had my psychological test today. Results in Wednesday. Today was chill. Had a morning walk where I got sunburned. Grandma visited me today which was nice, but she came super late which got me really worried and anxious. Thought she forgot about me. But when she got here I was super glad.
Day #10
Woke up at 5am cause my rommate was noisy. Went for a smoke and nearly collapsed there. Donāt know why. Went back to sleep and was allowed to sleep in cause itās sunday. Played ancard gane with another patient there which was fun. Read, drew a little but i didnāt like it. Took a nap then. My mom came to visit me which was nice. No other events.

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I hope the stay in the mental ward helps you, at least a little bit. Also, have you mentioned Jessica to your doctors? I am no professional but I really think they should know about it.. Either way, I just hope you are doing some how ok⤠Good luck!!
Yes they know about her, but i donāt know yet if they do sth about her
Day #9
My roommate was allowed to leave the hospital for a short amount of time which meant i was alone in the room all day which was extremely nice! I enjoyed the day with reading and sleeping. My mom visited me and we talked about an eventual apocalypse in the future, which wasnāt a fun talk to be honest. Was glad when she left and I could be on my own again.
Day #8
Got an MRI scan in the morning for my head. I was sooo sleepy the whole day and actually slept a lot. My brother and my mother came to visit me which was nice. Today I watched āHamiltonā the musical, which is so GOOD. I can totally recommend that (itās on Disney+)! Ergo was fun and I also had psychotherapy today which was alright.
Day #7
Slept really bad tonight. Iāve been here for a week now and I think Iām making a little bit of progress? Today was a really good, chill day. My medication got altered a little. Hope it works! Ripped my knee-tendrils todsy during the morning walk, now i can barely make a step. Gonna get a scan and maybe physiotherapy. Tomorrow I will have ergotherapy for the first time, canāt wait to see how that will turn out. A friend and my mom visited me today which was nice but also a little echausting. Have a new roomate since today and she is hella annoying...
Day #6
Was sleepwalking tonight again...
Woke up with a burnt wrist and a message written on my arm (āShe isnāt allowed to have good daysā) Talked to a Doctor about it but no consequences... Talked to 2 Nurses about it, no consequences...
Was reading in the afternoon, was pretty nice. Got a plan for Ergotherapy which I oook forward to doing. A friend and my mom visited me which was nice.
I am currently crying cause I am really feeling homesick, I told the nurse... He said āokā and left... I feel so alone. I canāt do this any longer. I hope Iāll die in my sleep tonight...

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Day #5
Today was a good day. Had breakfast and lunch which both were ok. The weather was nice too. My best friend, my brother and my grandma came to visit me today which was awesome! My best friend brought me a book (Good Omens!) which I enjoy reading a lot! I had two naps today which were great and I even went on the morning walk with the other patients.
Day #4
Got sleeping medication last night cause I couldnāt sleep. Therefore I slept for a really loooong time. Gonna stay here for at least 2 weeks now. I was really depressed today and cried all the time. My brother and Grandma came to visit which was a little bit of a mood up lifter, I feel really good in the evening, almost like myself again.
Day #3
I slept really bad, woke up all the time. Today wasnāt good, I could feel Jessica nagging me all the time. Most of the day I sat outside with other patients and listened to music, talked and drew stuff. That was actually really nice. But it was also exhausting. Took a nap then. My mom came by again which was also nice. I AM SO BORED. Got transferred to another ward this evening...
Day #2
Today was quite unspectular. Get a lot of medication to ācalmā me down so I am always tired and sleeping. Didnāt eat much today, wasnāt hungry. My mom visited me which was nice. Thereās a part of me that isnāt me. Well it is but it also isnāt. Called her Jessica.
Day #1
I did sleep ok. Woke up couple of times cause of the unknown surroundings. I ate breakfast and went back to sleep again. Got woken up by the doctor who was doing his rounds. We talked a little bit but thereās not really a plan here for me I think. Got 3 visitors today which was really nice. I am still bored out of my mind here. The only thing I do is going for a smoke. I am restless cause just sitting around and waiting isnāt doing ANYTHING for me. I think my head is gonna explode of all these destructive thoughts I am having. It feels like wasting time in here. I just wanna go home. It also feels like a whole different world in here, this is so surreal. But it gives me some freedom for my crazyness, cause i donāt have to hold myself together.

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Admission Day
It feels weird being here. Some sort of surreal feeling, canāt quite realise that I am in the hospital now. I am really worried that I might lose my job because of this. It scares me, this whole thing. I got tested a lot, they took a blood sample, my weight and I got an EKG. I also had to pee in a jar for a drugs test for some reason. The nurse who admitted me is very kind, she talked to me about my depression, anxiety and about my suicidal thoughts/attempts and my self harming which increased a lot lately. Otherwise they leave me alone in the room. I am kinda bored here, thereās nothing to do, just waiting. In the evening I get something to sleep, hope it works. I am really doing shitty.
I am currently in hospital (Mental Ward), which is awesome (sarcasm). Keep you postet everyday how itās gonna be.
I got admissioned because I almost killed myself during my sleep (I am a sleepwalker) and i completely trashed my apartment, also in my sleep.
So the next day I went to the hospital and they admitted me immediately.