trans percy looking into circe’s magic cloth mirror and seeing himself taller, with broader shoulders and a sharper jawline. he’s 13 and insecure, he’s going through the wrong puberty, and he’s looking at a version of himself that he never thought he’d get to see. he already feels out of place on the island, “where are all the dudes?” and circe is telling him that she can make this cis version of percy reality. and all he has to do is drink some potion.
“the first step is admitting that you're not happy the way you are."
he knows deep down it’s a trap, but circe’s magically aided manipulation is convincing, and maybe a part of percy wants to believe it’ll work. he knows he still has a way to go in his transition, but why should he have to wait? he’s surrounded by magical beings (including his own father) that could instantaneously put him in the right body… but choose not to. why won’t they just help him out?
“why question it? i mean, don't you want the perfect you right away?”
and here is circe, practically giving his dysphoria a name and a voice. telling him she agrees that he doesn’t have enough muscle or body hair and he isn’t tall enough and his voice isn’t deep enough. telling him these feelings are valid and it’s understandable why percy would hate himself so much, find his body so foreign. telling him there’s no need to find himself through transition, because she can make him cis. make him palatable.
“the hardest part of the makeover process is giving up control. you have to decide: do you want to trust your judgment about what you should be, or my judgment?"
and then he’s turned into a guinea pig. his body is made more wrong than it was before. how could he have been so stupid? he feels completely helpless and out of place but. doesn’t he always?
“men are pigs, percy jackson.”
but he’s still told that he isn’t the same as the other guinea pigs. he’s less feral. more docile. the perfect class pet, something to be ogled at from behind a glass wall. he doesn’t belong on circe’s island of perfect girls and women of course, but he also doesn’t belong here with the other real guinea pigs. maybe he’s actually a hamster.
“i thought about what circe had said: ‘see, percy? you've unlocked your true self!’ i still felt changed. not just because i had a sudden desire to eat lettuce. i felt jumpy, like the instinct to be a scared little animal was now a part of me. or maybe it had always been there. that's what really worried me.”