Freezer Bride, Your Sweet Divine

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

I think fanfic as your primary writing and reading background really sets you up to fail because there’s so many inherent crutches to fanfic. You don’t have to make characters enjoyable because the work’s already been done, you don’t have to describe appearances or locations or motivations because the work’s already been done, conflicts come pre-established and relationship dynamics have already been laid out. And none of this is a knock on fanfic, I am not saying fanfic is bad. But if that’s all you’ve written and largely all you’ve read then I think it’s gonna be a rough transition to original fiction, and I think you need to take some time first to familiarize yourself original works again.