it's beautiful here by this pond.

Girl, have you not seen their literal first scene together? Buck staring at shirtless Eddie while Whatta Man by Salt n Pepa plays in the background in 2.01 Under Pressure? Followed by, you know, literally everything else that happens in that episode?

to link a favourite fic of yours that you've posted along with one of your favourite quotes from it. And then do the same with a WIP you're working on (if you're working on one) 😉

tagged by the lovely @fanficmanic @cathcer1984 Thank you!

if this love is pain (let's hurt tonight) | 3.2k | T

this one is so special to me and I think about its (only written in my head) sequel often

He wants to tell Buck to leave. He means to. What comes out instead is, “You always were a stubborn pain in the ass,” making them both huff out a nervous chuckle. “So, is that yes?” Buck asks, a hopeful lilt to his voice.  Part of Eddie knows it’s useless to fight the pieces of himself that can never say no to him. He’s still hurt, the old wound raw and tender now that it’s been ripped open again. But he’s tired, too. Tired of guessing at why Buck walked away. It may be the only chance he has to get some closure. Something he knows better than anyone isn't always guaranteed.

and from the Reaper!Eddie WIP (it's not particularly amazing or anything but Eddie and his Twizzlers make laugh)

They continue talking among each other as if it’s an ordinary day. Bosko is going to her niece’s dance recital this weekend. Alvarez is thinking about asking out the new ER nurse. Coleson’s wife might be pregnant again and they really can't afford this right now. He might have to pick up more shifts. “What- what the fuck?” “Seriously, in this economy? Insane,” a new voice comments, startling Buck half to- maybe death isn't a great choice of words right now. When he turns to see who's intruding, it’s the sassy guy from before, taking a large bite of a Twizzlers rope.

tagged by beloved @soupfic (thank you lovely 💖)

this FiF I wanted to do a bit of shameless self promotion for an older fic. As I got into my current hookup fic, I started referring to it as the darker, fucked up cousin to honey, when you call my name, the fic where I asked 'what if Eddie saw Lucy kiss Buck?' 🤔

If you've been enjoying the snippets, then perhaps you'll enjoy this one too? 💚🖤

“The truth is… I was there,” Eddie confesses, hesitantly meeting Buck’s gaze. 

That’s impossible. They have a sixth sense for each other. Even with as drunk as he was, Buck wouldn’t have missed Eddie. 

“What?” 

“I was at the bar, Buck.” Eddie’s voice is quieter now, dripping with uncertainty. “I walked in- and I saw the team. Then I saw you. At the pool table. Kissing someone.” Eddie inhales sharply and it feels like the air is being ripped directly from Buck. “And when I saw that I- I had to leave.”

The words play back in Buck’s mind in slow motion as he tries to piece them together. None of it makes any kind of rational sense. Eddie was there? He saw Buck and then had to–

“Did you have sex with her?” Eddie blurts out. 

That is not at all what Buck was expecting. Ever since Shannon died there’s been an unspoken rule between them. A silent pact to never inquire about or interfere with the other’s romantic life. And sure, Buck broke that with Ana, but only because Eddie was having panic attacks. What else was he supposed to do? This is completely different in every way. Because his best friend, man he’s hopelessly in love with, and star of every filthy fantasy, wants to know if anything more happened with a stranger at a bar.

The implication clicks, allowing something bright and hopeful to flicker to life in his chest. A wish Buck never dared let himself believe would be fulfilled. “Would it matter if I did?” 

Buck doesn’t miss the way Eddie’s nostrils flare slightly before he attempts to cover it with a mask of indifference. How he seems to be struggling not to look away again. 

“It’s not like it’s really my business anyway.” Eddie shrugs and begins picking at the label on his drink with his thumbnail. 

The flickering ember of hope draws from Eddie’s reaction, daring to glow the tiniest bit brighter. “I didn’t, you know. Do anything with her, I mean.”

Eddie pauses his fidgeting, just long enough for Buck to notice before starting again. The casual silence that had been there before is anything but now. It feels weightier, the ease replaced with tension and doubt, and Buck starts to wonder if he’s completely misinterpreted the situation.

“Did you want to?”

“No!” If this is going where Buck hopes it’s going he wants to be as clear as he can. He quickly adds, “Not with her.”  

Eddie jerks his head up, staring at Buck with equal parts curiosity and disbelief. It pins him in place, leaving him helpless to do anything but stare back. He doesn’t risk moving, his breathing rapid and shallow, too afraid of severing this potential new thread weaving its way into their well established connection. Another anchor point in their root system, twining them together.

“And if it had been someone else?” Eddie asks.

yeah, yeah, me again. i have to pause for the evening and this felt like a nice place to share. from a prompt for @dangerpronebuddie 💖

Click. Click. Click. Click. Clack. Brrrrrr. Clack. Clack. Clack. Brrrrr. Zhhhhhhh. The erratic rhythm of typewriters and adding machines plays in the background, same as every other day. Part of the soundtrack to Eddie’s life from nine to five. The other players consist of chairs scraping against linoleum, women’s heels clicking along at an efficient pace, rubber stamps thumping from ink pad to paper. It’s mundane and miserable and Eddie hates every second. He supposes it's a small consolation that it's only office machinery instead of artillery; that the worst thing that could happen to him on any given day is a paper cut rather than a bullet wound. But even if it makes him mentally compare his necktie to a noose, it’s never bad enough to entice him back to El Paso. Few things are, but Lord knows his mother won’t stop trying. If they gave it a chance, he thinks his parents would probably like California. Getting used to the towns and climate didn’t take long. Maybe that’s just because landing here, staking a claim with their house–actually theirs and not an offshoot of his parent’s property–felt like the first he could properly breathe since he got discharged. Like a tight band had been squeezing his chest and lungs, but a benevolent being finally took pity and loosened it for him. Living here is a far cry from the days when he and Shannon followed each other around like shadows, slipping through the fields and fences with hardly a care in the world. But if he’s being honest with himself, something that happens in debatable quantities these days, that would be true anywhere. Especially if they’d decided to stay. He couldn’t understand at the time, fought Shannon tooth and nail about it, but he can admit now that if she hadn’t pushed him to consider a change they would still be slowly suffocating on that adjacent property. And there are other things that wouldn’t have happened. Things he can only just acknowledge in the pitch black of night. Things he thought were left buried on another continent, that would gradually seep into the earth and be lost to time. Secrets murmured in the German hills, stolen moments in a Parisian hole-in-the-wall club, useless promises made in a bombed out cafe. Hushed confessions uttered in an abandoned farmhouse that bore witness to their sins. Sin. As if the reason they crossed the Atlantic in the first place wasn’t already stained with it. The only difference is people don’t seem to mind when you call it patriotism.

tagged by beloved @eddiesstabwound ☺️

listen, I thought these two were stalling out on me. Turns out they just needed a minute. Oh, and Buck is feeling a rollercoaster of Things™️. some of this will probably get rearranged but the intent is there

Then Eddie flips them so Buck’s back is against the mirrored column. As he’s pinned to the cool glass he wonders if Eddie’s going to take him right here out in the open. If Eddie will even bother making him fully strip or expose him just enough to do what he needs. Because Buck’s not worth taking the time for, just a body–a hole–to be used however Eddie sees fit.

Buck’s hips jerk forward at the thought.

In his wildest dreams, of a life he knows he’ll never get, he always imagined taking his time with Eddie. That they would savor each other and have the type of sex that could only be described as making love. The kind that requires the deepest and most vulnerable type of intimacy. The kind he can’t imagine ever giving to anyone else.

But those fantasies were from a very different time. From ‘before’.

Before Bobby sacrificed himself. Before Eddie got himself tangled in the dark fantasy of getting to have Shannon again. Before Eddie fucked up and chased their kid halfway across the country, forcing Buck to lose both of them.

He allows himself to be difficult for just a moment. To bite down on Eddie’s lower lip and show the little bit of fight he’s got in him. It seems fair, given the circumstances.

“You gonna fuck me or not, Diaz?”

Eddie instantly responds by putting enough space between them that Buck sees the set to his jaw. How fiery embers of want have flared into something darker and more dangerous; an inferno ready to engulf them both.

Let it.

For a beat he considers that Eddie will decide Buck’s not even worth this. That he’ll cut his losses and walk away right then. Instead, he grabs Buck’s hand, tugging harshly.

“Come with me.”

tagged by beloved @soupfic with some delicious words you should definitely check out

like pandas in captivity, these two are refusing to cooperate and just fuck already. hopefully sharing will get things moving again 🙃

“And do they-” Eddie pinches his brows together for a beat, then relaxes again. “Do you let them kiss you?” “No,” he answers without hesitation. “Not on the mouth.” That’s one thing he never lets his play partners do; an intimate imaginary line he maintains as a hard limit. “And what about me?” “What about you?” Eddie seems to study him a moment. “Wondering if you would let me kiss your pretty mouth?” His stomach swoops at the compliment. At the idea that Eddie is asking if Buck will give him permission to do something no one else is allowed to. It’s a wonder he doesn’t drop to his knees right there. “Yes.” ... He considers all the fucked up things he’s allowed total strangers to do to him, to use him for, and how much better they could be if Eddie was the one doing them. “Let me make it up to you,” Eddie says, more of a statement than a question, a promise that he's going to make everything better. “Give you what you need.” Something inside Buck’s brain short circuits at that word. Need. Not what he wants or Eddie wants but what he needs. Because if anyone is capable of providing such a thing, it’s his best friend. The person who knows him almost better than he knows himself. This won't be anything permanent, nothing longer than tonight. Maybe only a few hours, if that. And it’s not love- not for Eddie. This gift being offered is a consolation prize, a small mercy before they go back to pretending there's not an enormous chasm between them, growing bigger every day. Before Eddie hurts Buck by leaving again- and Buck lets him do it. Because the choice is him or Chris, that’s the deal. Or. Not ‘and’. Never ‘and’. Even so, his brain can’t ignore the reality that this is him and Eddie, and that means it ultimately can’t be anything but good. “Eddie, please.”

Buddie | Rated T | 693 words for @dangerpronebuddie

contains spoilers for S9 9x18

“Eddie?” “M-maddie,” he grits out. His cheek presses to the cool wall and it feels like a relief, like a first breath after being submerged. The tear in his side is searing but for a singular moment it’s shuttered out. “Shooter. Hospital. Gotta- gotta tell them.” “Eddie, where are you?” Her calm dispatcher persona barely covers the panic creeping in. “No time. Jus-” Fire rips through him as he shifts his weight and it’s all he can do not to cry out. “Eddie?!” “Just tell them. At least one coming up the stairs. Straight for ‘em.” “Okay, okay, hold on.” He expects the line to go dead or to at least be put on hold. Instead, he’s privy to Maddie’s call into Chim. Blackness fades in and out, accompanied by the ringing in his ears. He only wishes it was louder so he didn’t have to hear the two of them. So he could be ignorant to warnings mixed with ‘make it home’ and ‘I love you’. Right now there’s only one thing–one voice–he wants to hear, other than his kid.

Of course, my love 💞

from this kiss prompt list

your heart's got a story with mine | T | 3.9k

“What’s all this about anyway? It’s almost midnight.” “Exactly,” Evan says like that explains everything. It takes another minute before he steps away, revealing two cupcakes–one red velvet with cream cheese icing, and the other a cookies and cream with Oreo crumbles–each with an unlit candle stuck in the middle. “That means it’s still your birthday.” He stares between the treats and his best friend. A small huff of air escapes, accompanying a complicated feeling in his chest. “How- you did this for me?” Evan shrugs. “Well, for us. I mean, you only turn seventeen once. And I already did that.” He ducks his head and looks up from beneath his lashes. Even in the low lighting, Eddie can see the way his cheeks flush, matching his birthmark. “We should, uh, make a wish.” He brushes away the sudden thought that he’d really like to kiss Evan right now. An intrusion he banishes to analyze later. “Uh, yeah. Let’s do that.” He fishes out a lighter from the back of his sock drawer. Something he might or might not keep on hand for the occasional roach, mostly when school and talks about college start stressing him out. “Ready?” He asks once the wicks are lit. “One. Two. Three.” They blow out their candles, watching the smoke curl and dissipate before choosing a flavor. “Happy birthday, Eds,” Evan says quietly. He wants to look at his best friend but he can’t, not without revealing whatever must be all over his face. Something shifted between Evan walking in tonight and the count of three. The shape of their friendship changed into- he’s not sure what, just that it isn’t the same. “Happy birthday, Evan.”

Kicking off today because I actually finished something! (everybody clap) Please have some shameless self promotion while it awaits a second read 💖

“Oh, fuck you. You know that’s not what’s happening here.” “Then what is it? Please, tell me, oh wise one.” Evan steps into Eddie’s space, standing between his spread knees and thighs. With mere inches between them, it wouldn’t take much to make a terrible situation worse. To give in to the thing he’s craved since he turned seventeen. Except Evan is already hurt and pissed off. He doesn’t need Eddie’s selfishness blurring, and potentially severing, more lines between them. Especially when Eddie was the one who chose to marry someone else. “Because, Evan, I can’t-” He swallows his cowardice, slipping on a brave face that allows him to stomach looking at his best friend. It’s not enough. He was an idiot to ever believe it would be. To believe he could visually trace the pinched brows, the worried creases surrounding stormy blue eyes, and remain unaffected. His breath catches cataloging flaring nostrils and a pink mouth; a sharp, tense jawline. Eventually, finally, he forces himself to breathe. To confess. “I can't lose you. That’s why.” “You can’t lose me,” Evan repeats, his voice laced with venom. “Sure, why not? Maddie already left, why not you too?"

Today I felt like doing a special birthday edition, just because I can. I’m going to be Shameless and post tidbits of my various WIPs and hope I’m inspired to finish one of them. Feel free to send asks about any of them 🥰

Up first- reaper fic/Under the Whispering Door au

“Dios, where are my manners?” The guy says, a fresh Twizzler in his hand. “I’m Eddie.”

“That’s it?” Buck stares incredulously. “No last name, just… Eddie?”

“I do have a last name, it’s just not particularly important at the moment. But, if you must know, it’s Diaz.”

“Uh huh. So, anyone ever call you Diaz?”

“Not if they want me to respond.”

Buck nods, as if this is a perfectly normal conversation. “Eddie. Is that short for Eduardo or-”

Sassy Guy, Eddie, gives him a strange look, furrowing his brow. “I can't tell if you're being serious right now.”

Buck could say the same, honestly. “Considering where I am, not really in a joking mood.”

Eddie moves his head side to side, considering Buck’s words. “That's fair. I suppose I wouldn't be either. I should probably tell Chim he’s in for a tough crowd though.”

The last bit seems to be more to himself than anything. But Buck doesn’t get a chance to comment, interrupted by the pastor speaking at the front of the room, offering words of welcome.

“Oh, you should pay attention to this part.” Eddie takes another bite of Twizzler and faces forward. After a moment, he looks back at Buck who still has no clue what's going on. “Unless, you don't want to, of course. Which is fine, it’s your choice. But I find it helps most people with the acceptance piece.”

And that is it, Buck is at his wits end. “Acceptance?! Acceptance of what exactly? At some point are you planning to tell me just what the hell is going on here? And why everyone thinks I’m dead?”

Eddie closes his eyes and inhales through his nose like Buck is a child he's trying to be patient with. When he opens his eyes again, they seem impossibly darker and richer, all hints of playfulness gone. Somehow the warmth and kindness remains, making Buck feel the slightest bit at ease.

“I don’t want to go too deep in the weeds, that’s more of Bobby's department, but the reason everyone is acting like you're dead? Is because you are dead. Last night, at the parking garage. You were-”

“On the ladder,” Buck murmurs, flickers of light and rain lighting up his memory. “I was at the top. But- but I was harnessed in! I- I should have been fine!”

“Technically, from that perspective, you were. Unfortunately, a harness won't help with lightning. In fact, you went over the ladder. They had a pretty tough time getting you down.”

Part 2 (amnesia Buck) here