Average Potato

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

bleeding

fun thing about herding and/or generally neurotic breeds: they are really good at following rules you have instituted, but they will also make their own Dog Rules they will follow stringently whether or not you like it

despite never being reprimanded for getting sick if my dog throws up she will ‘tattle’ on herself and run over to me, show me the throw up, then hide and start shaking uncontrollably. nobody taught her to do this. she has decided that throwing up is a punishable offense until the end of time

my dog has decided that it’s solely on her shoulders to ensure there is peace in my house…if the cats fight she stands between them to ‘break it up’ and/or herds them away, if my rats have an argument she goes to the cage door and barks until they stop. not sure why she has decided she must carry the weight of the world but she has

This is hilarious on its own, but can we talk about how sweet and social the grey cat was being? That right there was empathy, folks. Cats aren’t assholes. They just have very different social norms than humans and dogs do.

I was hoping for exactly one thing when I unmuted and I was not disappointed

idk why young people knotting is seen as a loser or antisocial thing tbh when i do it in public people seem happy to see it and sometimes they even stop to talk to me about it it's genuinely swret. okay now before i press post i want it to be known i noticed the typo just in the nick of time but decided to leave it anyway for the same reason some people keep the bullet that killed them as a memento of what couldve been for the rest of their lives

Tonight I am Searching for An Image that May Very Well Change My Life

before i hit play i was like “I’m sure ‘bad music’ is subjective” … and then

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

i was in a thrift shop the other day and they were playing the most unsettling variations of normal christmas music, culminating in this rendition of the 12 days of christmas except it was like 12 guys all singing over each other and going “no!” and interrupting the lyrics with random other phrases until they deadass just started singing 5 golden rings to toto’s africa. can anyone confirm that this is a real song and not that i stroked so hard i astral projected into a universe where everything is somehow worse than it is here

this is what my anxiety attacks sound like

Oh I needed this laugh this evening. Thank you so much.

Tumblr are you OK? It’s december and you’ve hardly even touched your “twelve days of Christmas by straight no chaser”

Science lost a lot when we started pretending to objectivity

I feel like @elodieunderglass needs to see this, if she hasn’t already

I think I’m the purple grackle with a lot of spruce partridge

May I also always be the champion fool of all groups I stagger into.

tag yourself I'm of strange appearance and interesting habits