¯\_(ツ)_/¯

me, an intellectual: *passing my buddy a slim jim* would you care for this Slender James?

being in your early twenties is like [grocery shopping alone] [having instant noodles for dinner] [remembering random details about that one friend you haven't spoken to in five years] [feeling overwhelming guilt for every purchase that isn't strictly "necessary"] [having midday naps] [finding out through facebook that the girl who was mean to you in high school has a husband and a baby] [falling a little in love with every stranger on public transport] [pretending you're not afraid of being alone] [wondering when you'll feel like a fully realized person] [listening to bands you liked in middle school] [blinking and it's suddenly december] [failing to imagine yourself ten years from now] [feeling like you're running out of time]

baseball really is the best sport for vampires

Explain

bats

if u think im annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

@ the water that drips down my arms when i wash my face and makes a big ass mess: fuckin fight me

Memes have become so heavily context-dependent that they briefly spawned a side-phenomenon of corporations mistakenly assuming that the image combinations are simply random, and that “randomness” is what the new generation finds humorous, and then deliberately creating nonsense ads in a desperate attempt to appeal to the youth, which went on for several years before they finally started hiring younger social media managers.

Oh to be a medieval apothecary and have dried herbs in little jars all through my dimly-lit shop