"Never be cruel and never be cowardly." @you-try-to-be - Tumblr Blog

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redstonedust

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.

#lmao #anxiety #real

funeral

In today's state of hyperactivity, where boredom is not allowed to emerge, we never reach the state of deep mental relaxation. The information society is an age of heightened mental tension, because the essence of information is surprise and the stimulus it provides. The tsunami of information means that our perceptual apparatus is permanently stimulated. It can no longer enter into contemplation. The tsunami of information fragments our attention. It prevents the contemplative lingering that is essential to narrating and careful listening . . . In the process of digitalization, . . . information acquires an altogether different status. Reality itself takes on the form of information and data. For the most part, we perceive reality in terms of information or through the lens of information. Information is an idea—that is, a re-representation. When reality takes the form of information, the immediate experience of presence withers. When digitalization gives everything the form of information, reality is flattened.

Byung-Chul Han, The Crisis of Narration

#quote #mindfulness #information age #mmm #consumerism #sigh this is what meditation is for #counter force field

nohotbeverages

bovinefigureoftheday

Bovine figure of the day: Royal Crown Derby Bluebell Calf

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specialnights

Somalia. Literacy teaching. 1974.

huariqueje

Raspberries - Jos van Riswick

Dutch, b. 1971 -

Oil on panel , 12 x 9 cm.

you-try-to-be

#religion #muharram #islam

firebirddragon-deactivated20181

Tea cup dragons.

winterinhimring

@greenleavesandblueskies a dragon for you!

someone I follow just reblogged a post saying that you should never trust a muslim and then blocked me (at least I assume they didn't delete their blog, I can't see it anymore)

on your own head be it, I suppose

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divinum-pacis

In a corn field in the Mexican state of Chiapas, Salma Palamo Diaz wears a traditional tzotzil skirt. Muslims in Mexico blend their indigenous ways of life with the customs required by Islam.

PHOTOGRAPH BY GIULIA IACOLUTTI

#i think religious people everywhere do this #though its less obvious if you're part of the majority religion in the place you live

04k96

#hello :)#photography

lightbulb-warning

many such foolish cases of things left unsaid :)

stuckinapril

Therapist told me yesterday that as I get older I’ll learn to empathize more with my mom despite her behavior / the lasting impact it’s had on me … how to verbalize that my issue growing up was that I empathized so much with my mom that it permanently damaged my ability to form boundaries because I got so used to always seeing the other person’s side that I never held them accountable and that it’s something I’m unlearning to this day

stuckinapril

Is it just me

you-try-to-be

the "grown up" empathy that your therapist is talking about comes from a place of seeing your mom as a fellow adult and normal human being. its a different kind of empathy then when we take our moms happiness as our responsibility

teawithhobi

True but that is possible only if OP/you/I are allowed to distance ourselves first and treat them as true strangers, so with the ability to choose if we want them in our lives or not.

If that first boundary of ours is not respected then everything HAS to fall down, I'm not gonna respect/empathize with my mother if she doesn't see me as my own person and doesn't respect my boundaries. She becomes a stranger that is harassing me, which obv I don't want in my life. Will I wish for that stranger's misery? No, because I don't care about them, but I'm allowed to not care FIRST.

you-try-to-be

I'm struggling to find a way to respond to this that will make sense

empathy isn't contingent on the actions you choose to take. it's also not contingent on the other person. whether or not your mother sees you as a fellow adult is independent to whether you see the two of you as fellow adults. it's also not about whether or not your mom "deserves" empathy (frankly I think that's a misguided question in any circumstance)

also I want to add a caveat saying that I don't know anything about your own personal relationship with your mom. but as far as op's post goes, I stand by what I said

#treating your mother as a true stranger is being dishonest with yourself imo #you wouldnt have all the feelings around her that you do if she was a stranger #“stranger” is definitely not what I meant. what i meant is acknowledging that shes not an all encompassing force in your life #we grow up with that view from our childhoods but its not true when we're adults #our parents are just people who happened to become parents #the parent relationship is still important. but you want to grow with it #reply #parents #relationships #motherhood #i think based on your tags you're interpreting the initial empathy ops talking about w the empathy her therapist is talking about #but my point is theyre not the same. like the second empathy has nothing to do with people pleasing

stuckinapril

Therapist told me yesterday that as I get older I’ll learn to empathize more with my mom despite her behavior / the lasting impact it’s had on me … how to verbalize that my issue growing up was that I empathized so much with my mom that it permanently damaged my ability to form boundaries because I got so used to always seeing the other person’s side that I never held them accountable and that it’s something I’m unlearning to this day

stuckinapril

Is it just me

you-try-to-be

the "grown up" empathy that your therapist is talking about comes from a place of seeing your mom as a fellow adult and normal human being. its a different kind of empathy then when we take our moms happiness as our responsibility

#idk if this makes sense but #trust me on this #im in my 30s and i still struggle with this #but i do think its ideal to grow in the direction your therapist describes

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petaltexturedskies

Katherine Mansfield, in a letter to J.M. Murry, written c. May 1921, from The Collected Letters

to-orrr

here are some more cats 🍓

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"Never be cruel and never be cowardly."