Yotha Defender No.1

Their self destruction

Yotha is “classically” self destructive when we are introduced to him. He stays out late drinking and messing with couples. He gets into fights frequently. He harbors contempt for his mother and unintentionally jealousy towards Faifa (though by the start this seems to have mostly dissipated). And he, the introvert that he is, self isolates without notice. The path Yotha is on is a dangerous one that would probably result in a hospital visit or prison time depending on the event.

Then we have Faifa, whose self destructive tendencies are far less overt to the average person who encounters him. He gives until nothing is left. He inconveniences himself to the point of neglecting his needs. He puts everyone above himself. This includes things like letting Wine kiss him in the bar — he lets people take advantage of him because he can’t deal with people not liking him.

Both the brothers are ticking time bombs — the difference is when Yotha explodes others end up in the crossfire, where as when Faifa implodes he’s the only one damaged

If Faifa showed them even a fraction of his pain... he'd have so much less.

And isn't that what hurts the most?

Newton and Yotha know Faifa's coping method and trauma and they think they're helping him when really he feels more and more alone and less and less important and they have no idea.

It's so painful because these brothers all love each other so damn much but that love isn't helping because their communication is just... not there. At all. And my heart just aches for them because there's a good chance that Faifa will never actually say anything to any of them and that Newton and Yotha will go through the rest of their lives never knowing they're hurting him. That they will always believe that all of their trauma was solved when their mother made her confession not knowing that what healed them shattered Faifa.

Because It would be extremely Faifa to simply turn his pain to Wine and it fits Wine as well because Wine doesn't want to make waves and never has. And together... they could easily keep that pain private instead of trying to solve anything. Because both of them seem to think the best way to solve things is to run to rooftops instead of turning to others.

To much energy drinks + scattered thoughts= this

Emotional child neglect and its representation in Petfect 10 liners

Child emotional neglect is defined as the failure of one or both parents to respond adequately to the emotional needs of the child.

The mother didn't choose to stay with her other children (and the other one was taken away for the most disgusting reasons), she has kept one of them separated from the others, the father is emotionally absent for Yotha and Newton because he is still screwed by the divorce, the mother abandons Faifa even though she lives with him and then she leaves him with his father without looking back…

In short, the mother is the main cause, but the father doesn't help either. Because attitudes like the following one…

do not help your children overcome their problems/trauma. Not talking about a problem makes it even worse and that's how things explode, because no one talks about it!

Feeling invisible to their caregivers, these children learn to repress their emotions , which often results in a constant sense of rejection.

This can be seen every time Faifa hides his true emotions or when Yotha represses his love (romantically and platonically, cause he avoids making friends much more than the average introvert) and hides it behind the walls he has built.

When a child does not receive attention, quality time, acceptance or empathy, he or she may experience a deep sense of disappointment, anger, betrayal and loneliness.

Disapointment about the situation/their parents:

Just look at the false masks they are putting on at the end of this scene, how they are avoiding each others eyes because of the pain they're hidding behind their lies. Faifa lying with that fake smile and Yotha with that seemingly indifferent, but sad and lost look.

Anger + betrayal:

I always get the feeling that Yotha, despite loving his brother, at times has resented him for being the one who had left (for leaving him behind) and at other times, I think he hated him for being the one who had "taken his mother".

In that scene he does not believe that Gun is the one who has chosen to stay away from him, everything points to the fact that he believes it is Faifa's fault (as if he assumes that he is the one who “steals” the people he loves or at least, the one everyone chooses over him. Or just because when they were kids they didn't get a say in who stays with mom and who stays with dad and thought that Faifa was doing the same).

At the same time, although Faifa also loves his brother, the fact that his mother has a marked favoritism towards him also makes me believe that there are grudges towards Yotha on his part, after all, he had to destroy himself so that his brother's trauma “would be overcome” (which I don't believe, because as we can see, all the brothers should go to theraphy individually and as family).

Then, we would have Yotha's hatred towards his mother for taking his brother and returning him wounded, for leaving him behind along with Newton, for hurting his father and for breaking up all the family members (but especially Faifa's part, because the opinion that matters most to him on the matter is Faifa's, but as we know, the two brothers never talk sincerely about their wounds).

Faifa also feels the same way, as can be finally seen (because he's tired of excusing her actions) in the last chapters.

(Someane should give him permission to kick that bitch's ass!!).

By the way, another reason to hate the mother would be the fact that she'd only just met Gun and is already calling him son and paid more attention to him than she ever had to Faifa. My heart sinks when I see the poor guy's face at his mother's actions...

Bitch, how can you call yourselve a mother!?!?

Loneliness:

Yotha was living with his father and brother, but still alone. Faifa was abandoned while living with his mother and then, when he moved back, even with the others around he had no one (everyone was focused on their own pain).

This situation may result in two troubling patterns of emotional functioning (these are sometimes mixed).

1) The child may turn inward

Very negative about their life (pessimists)/themselves (low self-esteem)

Yotha:

Faifa:

Tirelessly seek love and recognition from others, where any form of appreciation or belonging may seem preferable to indifference.

On one hand we have a brother who begs for love, helping everyone and not being able to reject them (he doesn't want to make anyone feel unloved/despised, like he's been made to feel).

Furthermore, it can also be seen in his initial interactions with his mother how he also settles for crumbs of love from her.

2) The child turns his attention outward

May camouflage his insecurity with overconfident, arrogant or aggressive attitudes, using these defenses to hide his most painful feelings.

Overconfident:

Well... just every time Faifa acts this way.

Arrogant/aggresive:

Every single one of Yotha's fights and the attitude he has to keeping people away (you know, the one that makes him seem like an assasin...)

In summary, we can say that Faifa and Yotha are both one face of the same coin (child neglect) and they should tell their mother to fuck off (especially for Faifa's sake), yell at their father and tell him to get his shit together, kick Newton a little bit (cause he didn't act like a old brother), and finally, the siblings should go to individual and family therapy.

They obviously care for each other — they obviously want to support each other — they obviously are glad they’re brothers and happy to be in the same grade, have similar friends, etc.

That’s all obviously. It’s clear in how Yotha asks Fai to be more selfish, how he worries that Fai will be taken advantage of, how he wants Fai to find someone who loves him, how he asks for Fai’s opinion on their mother.

It’s clear in how Faifa changes rooms so Yotha can get to know Gun, how Faifa stays quiet when their mom explained things because it needed to happen for Yotha, even in how Faifa cared for Gun until Yotha figured things out.

What’s tragic is that they don’t speak the same language. Yotha can’t find the right way to make Faifa confide in him — and Faifa can’t figure out how to reach out and ask for support.

Yotha tries to make sure Wine knows his brother’s boundaries, but Faifa isn’t conscious to hear that level of care.