May 29, 2022
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#feeling like shit bc i dropped out of uni after trying so hard to finish my thesis#like it's not actually permanent i can enroll back if i ever want to i just have to pay them to do some paperwork#but the reason i feel like shit is that i tried everything I could do to graduate i had to work while studying and i still managed to get#good grades but apparently NOT good enough to graduate bc of that i have a 9/10 yet they raised the requirement to 9.5 ....#im short for 5 decimals it's so frustrating and not only that i had a big proyect with an important organization which was supposed to be#my final proyect instead of a thesis but i found out some things the university didn't like and they put every single excuse imaginable#just to stop me and they ended up changing yet again the reqirements for that again#they said it was for the best throwing away more than a year of my work so i had to pay a another year and guess what#they raised the prices of the yearly fee YUP as if everything else wasn't enough and it doesn't end there#they also completely reformed the course program adding a shit ton of unnesessary requirements such as doing the equivalent of 6 months of#of sports but ONLY those within the ones avaiable on the campus so things like soccer and such#which first require 5 days of training plus a monthly fee and IM DISABLED after an accident when i was going to another campus#tried to reason with them only to get told that im just lazy and sports are good for my health like ????? my back pain is so fucking strong#sometimes i can't even get out of bed i have medication but the healthcare system doesn't cover everything so i can't get propoer treatment#i CANT DO THAT and that's only ONE of the many things they put and when i finally chose a theme for my thesis one of the teachers stole my#idea and presented their dissertation earlier than me so fuck me ig#and im just so tired i feel like a failure when i know it's not really my fault and this career is one of the worst ones i could've chosen#but i already finished EVERYTHING all the subjects? you know the thing that actually matters when studying? those that i passed with#without ever failing one the ones i got nearly perfect scores the ones where most of the teachers complimented me bc of my performance?#those doesn't matter NOT AT ALL#and it makes me so angry it's not like i had any sort of expectations but i at least wanted to graduate even when i know it won't help my#situation at all im such a failure#i don't have anything to aspire to nothing to hope to and im so tired 5 years of my life wasted i wanted to prove myself that i wasnt#everything my parents said about me but 5 years wasted and look i have nothing and i couldn't even finish college#im such a fucking failure i feel like i lost against them not only my parents but the uni and everyone who kept telling me that i would nev#never get anywhere but they were right i have nothing im tired#even if it isnt completely my fault i cant help but blame myself
