a pirate's life for me.

Get to know JAMES HOOK who’s THIRTY-EIGHT years old and works as a DOCK OWNER in town. He is from CORONA and is often times mistaken for TOM ELLIS while others say he reminds them of CAPTAIN HOOK from PETER PAN.

“no,” he answered easily, closing the door and heading back into his office. whether that would be enough to actually get kitty to leave, hook wasn’t sure - but it was worth a try. whether she barreled inside anyway, that was out of his control at the moment. as he moved over towards his desk, he stopped to look out the window and check on which employees were currently all work and close enough nearby to have had the chance to stop kitty from even approaching his door - bumping them all up on his list of potential firings for that one misstep alone.

“Hate them. I thought that would be obvious by now. They are the bane of my existence and I want nothing more than to drown each and every one of them.”

( @wcndybird / @picdpipcrpcn / @slightlysawyer / @nathan-nibs / @tylertootlesanderson )

“No one that’s still alive. Or isn’t a client or involved in similar lines of work.”

Lock bit down onto the deep-fried coke humming at the oily taste of them. Eyes watering as it burnt his tongue, chewing quickly to swallow it all down in one go. Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to taste anything for the rest of the day, wondering what to do with the rest. The soft sound of people scrambling around asking for help sounded far away, but he knew that if he focused on it once more the sounds would come rushing back in. So he held himself back, focusing on the burning feeling of his palate. Tomorrow he will continue searching for what has happened, or beat it out of somebody. Today, however, it seemed he’d have to focus on the conversation at hand.

“Depends on whose asking,” he answered back, looking away. 

An expected and overused answer, one that had Hook snorting in response. Of course the kid was going to put up a tough act - he shouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. Like father like son. “I don’t think that’s how family works,” he retorts, stuffing his hands into his pocket as he looks the younger boy over a few times. There was no doubt that this was indeed the oldest Bordes kid, anyone who knew even the smallest amount of information about the family would be aware of that, so why he seemed to deny it was a mystery. “Don’t tell me that cousin or father or uncle - or whatever the hell Oogie is to you - didn’t tell you about me?”

For a brief second, Hook genuinely thought he was in hell. That he’d finally been done in and now here he was, faced with eternal suffering. But unfortunately for him, that wasn’t the case. Nope. This was very much real. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he finally snaps after a moment of just staring at the grown-ass man standing outside of his office with a trick-or-treat pumpkin basket held out waiting for candy. It shouldn’t be shocking, considering this is fucking Launchpad... and yet he’s still somehow surprised. How the fuck had this become his life? Truly, Hook wanted to know what god or deity he had managed to piss off so bad that he was cursed to deal with shit like this. @launchiemcquack

“No. This is nothing like a ghost ship,” Hook snaps, glaring at the boy. His plans to one day have a flying ship were indeed somewhat like a ghost ship, but he’d rather die than admit that to anyone. Especially not a Lost Boy. “Now fuck off.” @slightlysawyer

launchiemcquack​:

“huh?” launchpad perks up, smiling instinctively as he hears kitty’s voice. “oh yeah, look. i borrowed hook’s….hook,” he pauses, chuckling in amusement at that. “hook’s hook.” he repeats, laughing a little louder this time, completely losing his train of thought in the moment. it isn’t until hook speaks that he snaps back to reality. frowning at his tone, launchpad looks down, eyes sad and small disappointed noise rumbling from within his chest at his friend’s reaction. he almost says he’s sorry for upsetting him when he realizes something. “hey! you talk like beakley! are you a housekeeping spy too?” he asks excitedly. then, he realizes it. “i mean, housekeeper. she’s not a spy. spies aren’t real.” it’s supposed to be a secret. not one beakley or scrooge hide all that well because he’s definitely heard beakley say it twice now. maybe more if he tried hard enough to remember. “she’s a housekeeper, and a granny, and you talk like her.”

It’s not much, but at least he’s started answering her questions without hesitation, and she can’t help but smile. “Oh well that’s nice of you! Is that something they should worry about?” Kitty laughs a little nervously, because she’s not quite sure whether he’s actually serious or not. It’s always so hard to tell with him. “My day’s been great too!” she adds for good measure, because he’s yet to learn that a conversation usually goes two ways and he has to actually start asking questions too. Sighing as Hook turns his attention towards Launchpad, he seems a lot more amused than she does. While that could be because it’s currently his stuff that Launchie is messing with, she’s never had a problem when he comes to the candy store “Come on Hook, he’s just having a little fun!” He hasn’t broken anything or driven his car through the office, so really what does he have to complain about? “He does talk just like her!” Kitty giggles as Launchpad points it out. She hasn’t spent too much time around the housekeeper herself considering she never seemed to be Launchie’s biggest fan — or her biggest fan, when she actually thinks about it — but they did cross paths a few times when she went over to visit Launchpad. “You can meet her at Launchie’s next birthday party!” she suggests excitedly. Last year almost everyone that knew and loved him had showed up for the party, and she’s almost positive Hook will be on the guest list this year.

“Yes it is,” Hook quickly answers Kitty as he takes the metal hook back from Launchpad and moves to return it to it’s correct spot on the desk. He doesn’t comment further on the fact that her day has great - not caring in the slightest. “We’re not here to have fun. This is a business meeting.” It’s a reminder he has to give them often when they visit. Not knowing who this Beakley is and once again not caring whether she’s a spy or a granny or a housekeeper or whatever other titles she may have, Hook moves back to the front door and opens it wide. “That will not be happening. Now. If you two are done messing with my things, we have candy to unload.” This was only the beginning of what was going to likely be a very long hour or two of his life, and Hook would like to get it moving as quickly as possible. Five minutes with the two happy-go-lucky morons had already been more than enough to start making his brain feel like it was quite literally going to rot.

launchiemcquack​:

“you’re so funny hook,” landon laughs, a loud genuine thing that’s out of place for the present company. even though hook had just admitted to not missing them, implying that he’s not actually their friend the way landon likes to think hook is. but he’d never been the brightest and he’d always been the most optimistic person in the room, thinking very little of the jabs people throw his way in conversation. so, naturally he’s just going to run with the impression that hook is joking. how could hook not have missed them? as kitty and hook start barreling right into the work portion of this visit, landon looks around hook’s office, immediately enthralled by the literal hook sitting on his desk. with an excited little gasp, landon picks it up, ducking his hand into the sleeve of his jacket so he could appear to be missing his right hand. he slaps the hook piece in between his fingers, and goes back to looking around. he’d always wondered what it’d be like to be a real pirate. how do they eat? how do they lift things? well, he’s about to find out. first, he comes across a stack of crates in the office and landon thinks this is the perfect opportunity to test out opening things. he tries to lift the lid of the crate from the bottom but the hook hardly catches the edge of it, so, he moves on to poking the crate with the pointy part of the hook. surely, if he pokes it hard enough to stick, he can just lift it that way. it’s not working at first, so he continues to stab at it harder trying his best to be quiet and not be distracting to hook and kitty.

“I think you mean positive fifteen!” Kitty grins, not about to be put off by his negativity. The second she stops being happy is the second she gets mad, and she doesn’t think a shouting match between her and Hook, all because she’s disappointed in his constant negativity, would end well for either of them. Instead she’s going to look on the bright side of things, happily pretending that Hook secretly loves them, rather than blatantly loathes them, no matter how obvious he makes it. “Loading first!” she decides with a nod, because it’s the easiest way to extend the visit in Hook’s office. The second she hands over the money he’s done with them and her hopes of having a fun little chat are immediately dashed. And where’s the fun in that? “You haven’t even told me how your day is!” She reminds him, already trying to launch into the small talk portion of the day. “How are those little lost boys that are always running around the docks?” she asks, hopeful that Hook might actually give her a response even though history would tell them that he has no interest in carrying on a conversation with her. After a moment she realizes that she hasn’t been paying much attention to Launchpad since they entered the office and she glances back over her shoulder at him. She has to press her lips together to keep herself from laughing out loud as she notices the hook on the end of his hand. “You doing okay over there, sweetie?” she calls out to him, unable to hide the amusement from her voice.

And as always, Kitty chooses loading first. And as always, Hook already knows she won’t just let his workers do it themselves while he collected the payment at the same time. No - she always had to draw out the visit as long as she possibly could, to torture him. Why he even bothers asking anymore, he’s not fully sure except that it’s just a habit to ask all his clients, regardless of whether he already knows their answer or not. “My day is fine. The lost boys are still alive and have yet to be drowned,” he answers her questions dryly. As much as he wanted to fully ignore the both of them, Hook had long sine learned that just giving Kitty some kind of a response was the smartest thing to do. When he flat out ignored her that just sparked her to launch into a full detailed retelling of her own day. And that was not something he cared to hear again. He’s just about to move towards the door and get them out of his office when he hears a tapping noise and Kitty draws his attention back to Launchpad - someone he never should have taken his eyes off of. “What the bloody hell are you doing?” he asks in an almost yell, temper starting to rise at the sight of the man wearing his hook and playing around. Stepping forward, he grabs the cold metal end of the hook and pulls it, hoping that would be enough to get Launchpad to just let go.

“original,” hook dryly responds, refusing to give the leader of the lost boys any further reaction than that. the more he played into peter’s games the longer the kid stayed on the docks. but hook knew if he ignored him long enough he’d eventually grow bored and leave. or he’ll come close enough to grab and toss into the water. either way was a win for hook. @picdpipcrpcn

launchiemcquack​:

the car comes to a stop with a screech, but this time there’s no impact landon has to brace himself for. a little surprised, but not dissapointed, landon jumps out the car. when kitty announces its candy time and jumps on his back, he smiles offering her an excited ‘yeah’ in response. he’d been really excited when kitty asked him for a ride as her car was in the shop, and while he would have done anything with her he was even more excited to find that they’d be seeing hook. it should be said that he and hook were not friends, and that the other man does not like him. but between taking mr.mcdee out on boats sometimes, and accompanying kitty to a candy pick up a few times before landon is positive he and hook are good friends now. “hey mr. h!” landon greets happily when they reach his office. he’s about to just waltz right in when he remembers kitty is on his back and she could bump her head. “oh.” he huffs, bending his knees to lower himself “watch your head.” he warns kitty as they walk through the doorway. “we’re here for candy!” he cheers once they get inside in one piece, even though hook probably for sure knows that already.

As usually happens whenever Launchie and Kitty are together, a few workers at the docks give them curious looks as they head for Hook’s office. Neither of them are particularly good at controlling their volume or enthusiasm on a good day, and it all goes out the window when they’re together. They feed off each other’s energy when they’re together, which is a lot of fun for them, but often causes a headache for those around them. Not that they every really notice. Heeding Launchie’s warning, she ducks as well as she can while still remaining on his back, letting out a small “oop” sound as the door frame narrowly misses her head. “Hook!” Kitty cries as soon as they’re in the office, waving at him happily. As always she stays oblivious to just how much he dislikes her, never really picking up on the annoyance in his voice. If anything she think of him as another Angelo, someone that’s a little grumpy on the outside but will no doubt melt to her cheeriness and charm after a little while. He’s just taking a bit longer than most, that’s all. “How much did you miss us?” she asks, jumping down from Landon’s back. “On a scale of one to ten!” She can never just let it be an easy transaction, getting the candy and leaving. She has to make some small talk first, it’s only polite.

Of course it was fucking Launchpad that Kitty had to bring along with her this month. Because the universe refused to allow him even a moment of peace. “Negative fiftenee,” he answers dryly before raising out of his seat. The previous dock owner had always been much more polite iwth clients - but then again, Hook reasoned that he never had to with one Katherine Cuckoo or any of her friends. Plus, he made nearly triple the profit that the old man used to draw in, so obvious he was doing something right regardless of his attitude. “Shall we get this over with now? Payment or loading first?” He always left it up to the client what order they handled their business in - knowing some liked to see the products in person themselves before paying while others preferred to have his workers load them up while they paid to make the experience with Hook as short as possible. Unfortunately for him, Kitty never seemed to be quite so considerate. 

Genevieve paused and looked up at him. Seeing James was a lot better than seeing most other people, so she kept her mallet facing the ground. “Oh, you could say just about anything darling. But I don’t recommend getting in my way. I’ve already hit a few teenagers. I don’t want to hurt you.” At least right now she didn’t. “You could join me if you wish to.”

Playing croquette doesn’t sound appeasing to Hook in the slightest, but she did catch his interest at the mention of hitting teenagers. “You put on a show without me?” he teased as he stepped forward to look at the set up for the game. “I suppose I have time for a round or two. But on the condition that you promise not to hold in that temper of yours for anyone else that may cross our path.” As nice as it was to not get hit himself, he always wanted to see a bit of violence done to others.