I came here to win

*delicately blows a kiss to all the spirits in my room* please dont knock anything over i live here

he’s cured

actually if you look at the heart monitor hes flat lining

Gotta die somehow.

A miracle

argh mY FUCKING HOT POCKET NUTTED ON ME

dani have u perhaps considered never using that exact phrasing again

Look man my hot pocket dump ed it’s load onto me what the fuck else am I suppose to phrase it as you ignorant cockmunch

“well shoot, some of the sauce from my Hot Pocket™ spilled onto me. I suppose I’ll head over to the faucet and wash the sauce off my hands. perhaps a change of clothing is in order, as well. drat, this really ruined my day”

the day i ever talk like that is the day i hope you fucking shoot me.

this is so negative its just that the parka is too small :/

stop fatshaming my baby