crying over spilled milk

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

the ideal media diet for a child is books and music from at least fifty years ago so they are always out of touch with the references and allusions of their peer group

I love emoji reactions so much. Don't know what to say but don't want to ignore whoever texted you? Boom. Lizard reaction 🦎

if you've ever applied for a job you deserve 50 million dollars in financial compensation

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you

So There's This Open Wound At The Heart Of The Text

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly