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okay people, walk with me here. sdn is holding a massive company party with people from all branches. it's a yearly thing, maybe, or maybe a celebration for taking down the red ring.
and then rumors spread. mechaman's gonna be there, someone says. suddenly things get a lot more intense. mechaman's bowed out of invites before- he's not a member of sdn, or at least he hadn't been, and he's notoriously private. but pretty much every hero looks up to him in a way they don't with many others.
it's even worth the gossip that spreads right after- the torrance branch z-team's gonna be there.
people are picking out their best outfits, hoping to entice mechaman onto their team. they send kind notes through the company to the torrance branch, asking if mechaman would like to talk at the party, and maybe save them a dance?
(blonde blazer fields all these notes. she doesn't even bother giving them to robert).
everyone's world is a little bit rocked when they get there and- oh. the phoenix program "heroes" are all over mechaman.
while torrance might've warmed up to them after they took down shroud, the rest of sdn sure hasn't. it's almost...embarrassing to see them hanging all over mechaman- he's gotta be uncomfortable, right? i mean, sweetalker absolutely remembers mechaman putting some of these villains away.
someone from dtla heads over, tries to introduce themself, and the phoenix program heroes all snap to attention, practically growling to get them away. but mechaman steps up, gets them to stand down with just a wave.
they back off, but don't look happy about it. backing up just enough so it doesn't look like they're hovering, but they're still well within lunging distance.
and then the person from dtla makes the mistake of saying "you wanna get away from them for a bit?"
mechaman's voice drops low. "sorry?" he says.
"the- uh. the phoenix program. you're too nice, man. most of us agree, you don't have to put up with them. come on, come dance!"
behind him, the phoenix program heroes are all simmering with fury. one's reloading his arms, one's pulling god-fuckin-knows how many knives from god-fuckin-knows where, that guy's on fire-
all their eyes are trained on mechaman's raised hand, like they're waiting for something.
"so you think you're better than they are?" he asks. "no, no, don't try to cover it up now. you said it, you can't walk that back. do you, or do you not, think you are better than the z-team?"
dtla hero stumbles, says, "i mean- n- yes. i do."
they somehow get the sense that may have been wrong to say.
"cool," mechaman says. "follow-up question. where were you when shroud attacked."
it is not a real question.
"because my team was out there, covering four times their normal routes, not able to rest back at headquarters between calls. because you fucking heroes couldn't do your fucking jobs."
"woo, tell 'em!" a woman in pink yells behind mechaman.
"shut up, visi, i want him to rip their dick off," another woman says, clearly filming. "you got this, baby, just twist and pull!"
at the edges of mechaman's cowl, there's an embarrassed flush, but he sighs. "so yeah. and hey, heads up, because i saw all those notes ma- blazer tossed." he raises his voice so that everyone can hear it, and the other attendees all immediately do a bad job of pretending they weren't listening. "flattered you all want to dance with mechaman, but, uh, the z-team doesn't share. not me, anyway."
behind mechaman, the team breaks into whoops and shouts, all rushing forward as one. a bunch of them are pressing kisses or slinging arms around mechaman.
the rock construct scoops the team up and says "we're out. to the sardine?"
"we're not banned from there yet?" mechaman laughs, leaning easily against golem's face.
"we can try tonight!" a short man says. "i'm down for a good ol' pub brawl!"
the team exits together, leaving the sdn employees- heroes and dispatchers alike- staring after them.
supers are notorious gossips, by the way. easy to have something to talk about that isn't the wreckage you see daily. so word spreads fast.
don't try to badmouth the z-team in front of mechaman. it doesn't go well. and if you try to hit on mechaman in front of the z-team, well...god help you.
and if the rumor's helped along by one robert robertson the third, unassuming dispatcher for the torrance branch, then...well...
i fell asleep today and had a dream about z team pre-polycule/pre-mechaman reveal (and also no shroud/no cutting members because it's my au and i choose what i want) where the team is just starting to warm up to robert as their dispatcher when royd fixes the suit.
and blazer and royd tell robert he's not allowed to go out on big missions at first, since they're still testing the royd pulse and aren't sure it'll work. so robert takes the suit out in the night, testing it on small-scale shop robberies and muggings (which makes him laugh to himself when he lands with a metal thud in front of some two-bit thief, the shockwave making them almost piss their pants in fear).
then prism slides down to land in front of mechaman, crossing her arms and berating mechaman that she had it, she was gonna use this to prove to SDN that she actually cares about the phoenix program, look at the work she's doing off the clock.
robert-as-mechaman just huffs a laugh and advises her to never do anything unpaid and then leaves.
anyway it's robert intermittently going out as mechaman and taking on missions with his team (blazer or chase will dispatch during those times), and also sitting back as dispatcher, without anyone from the team ever knowing that he's both. to make it funnier, we could have one half of each teamup fall for one of robert's identities, like sonar head over heels for robert's deep voice and malevola breathless when mechaman saved her during a mission together.
then they start to swap over, where coupé who had once admired robert's strategic mind now can't take her thoughts away from mechaman's wit and field tactics, and punch up who complimented mechaman's strength each time they were on a battlefield together spotted robert in the SDN gym and whoa- he's fuckin' ripped!
i fuckin love secret identity stuff and superpowers so this game feels tailor-made to me and i will ship as many characters as i can possibly shove into one polycule
I want pov outsider of Robert Robertson but not from z team, but from the other dispatchers
Like imagine, there this team of (ex) villains, that bullied everyone else from this job. And you have to work with them, because Blonde Blazer has a bleeding heart for them. They don't fear god nor devil.
And then there this new dispatcher. You think he doesn't last a day. And then he does. And z team slowly improves. And they seem to respect him!? And then FLIRT with him?!
Someone walk behind him seeing him hacking another camera and is like "is that allowed?" People who have to listen to recordings have to hear soooo many sexual jokes and they not even sure they ARE jokes!
Soon everyone learn to not badmouth z team in his earshot. Because this dead eyed motherfucker will throw hands for z team.
They even say that he's threatened Blazer to not to cut anyone from the team not what happened but that's how rumours goes
They check their tictok and there's video of z team having a bar fight with this dude. He rips brain implant with his bare hands. video have a million likes. This is PR nightmare.
Anyway, what I'm saying, I want more of other dispatchers thinking that Robert is ex villain, and when z team learn about it, they only add more fuel to the fire
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I have a headcanon that Robert just Lois Lanes himself.
Z Team doubting wether if they are really are good, changed, refined people? Robert throws himself from a building and sees if they catch him.
Flambae: "I struggle with feeling like im actually getting better due to my temper and all the people I've hurt."
Robert: "Good people catch each other when they fall. Like right now."
*Throws himself out the window and Flambae FREAKS*
This goes for all of them, even if they can't fly. They'll catch him one way or another or they are on dispatcher number #5 and down on member of the polycule.
Even being reformed, the Z-team still have villain tendencies. They don’t love “normally” or “appropriately”. They don’t know how to show they care in “socially acceptable” ways.
So they don’t bother trying.
After a serious one on one talk with Robert, Courtney accepts that she takes the pervy shit way too far, even compared to the rest of the team. So, she dials it back. A lot. That doesn’t mean she stops leaving little gifts on his desk and denying it when he asks.
No, the gifts aren’t getting more homemade and also extremely personal to what Robert needs at the time, you’re losing it. She would have no way of knowing what exactly he needs at all times.
Bruno is arguably the most tame out of the Z-team. The way he shows care reflects that. He likes poetry, so sometimes he’ll send Robert little poems that remind him of their dispatcher. When he’s feeling slightly more peeved at Robert’s lack of self care, he’ll heat himself up a bit outside and forces Robert to take a nap on his leg.
You’re crazy if you claim that he purposely lets some of his dirt cling on to Robert skin. He would have no reason to other than to ward off any other Constructs, but Bruno ain’t like that.
Victor isn’t affectionate, by any means. The closest he gets is with Malevola, and even then its more so quiet moments between them. His way of caring is… hacking into Robert’s SDN files. Not to change anything, just to know everything he can. He leaves Twinkies on his desk, along with the coffee he brews every day (so what if he only brews that particular coffee at home?). He knows his allergies, the majority of his medical history, the exact time of his birth down to the second- okay maybe he takes it too far.
So what if he sometimes lets Mega-Bat scent a jacket or scarf Robert left on his chair? It’s not like he gets irritated when Robert doesn’t smell like him, no, that’s crazy.
Malevola is loud about her ‘affection’ (patting Roberts back and ruffling his hair), but her care is unnaturally quiet for her. It’s making a portal to Roberts apartment in the dead of night because she wasn’t 100% sure he was safe. It’s touching his shoulder lightly, looking for any pain he’s hiding.
It’s leaning in close, listening to his breathing, watching his chest moving up and down- until Beef barks and she portals away.
Chad disguises his care as him trying to “make sure the competition is rewarding”. Him leaving nutritious and delicious leftovers for Robert and getting personally ofended when he doesn’t eat them? Making good on his promise to spot Robert whenever he’s in the gym? Using his hands as heating pads when the pain flairs up? He just wants him to gain his previous strength back so he can fight a worthy opponent again, because fighting Bobert in the state he’s in would be easy and a pathetic waste of his awesomeness.
That’s why he memorized all of his routes home, to the store, to work. Bob Bob is too weak to defend himself. He NEEDS Flambae to keep watch until his strength is back.
Alice almost screams when she gets a good look at Robert’s closet. He has like two shirts and one pair of slacks outside of his uniform. She is NOT gonna let this slide. Saturday mornings become mandatory shopping trips between the two of them, and Robert is NOT allowed to pay nor complain about the price tag.
Yes, she buys him Prism themed accessories. So? They look good on him, and maybe she relishes the jealous looks from the others.
Colm is slightly more open about his feelings than the other Z-teamers, but only to the point where he can say that he hopes Robert is taking care of himself and will take out a teste if he isn’t. Even with the threat, Punch Up doesn’t trust it, especially when it comes to not overworking himself. So he sticks around Robert more at SDN, conveniently dragging him away when someone tries to ask him to do something, intentions be damned.
It’s only a coincidence that people who make Roberts life harder, purposely or not, come back with bruises in unmentionable places and tight lips on where they came from.
Janelle already offered a free hit to their dispatcher, but that’s no where near the end of it. When she’s not on missions or resting, she’s watching from the shadows. Not just Robert, but any person she has grown fond of. If someone bothers him in any way, the next second a knife is barely missing their head.
Unlike the others, she would openly admit her stalking if Robert asked. But it will never come to that, as her training is far superior than the human eye. There’s always eyes on Robert, she ensures that.
Bonus:
Robert knows all of these things, obviously. Even if they had the mind to be subtle, he would still be able to notice the patterns. But he pretends not too.
Deep inside, in a long buried part of his heart, Robert can be selfish. Maybe it’s finally time to let himself indulge in the feeling of being cared for, even if it’s in downright insane ways.
moment where at a press conference, one reporter makes a homophobic comment about flambae. cue robert as mecha man just staring them down (like what he did with that one bartender in sardine) and saying that they will apologize or they will leave.
and the reporter fumbles out an apology after seeing that he’s not joking (feel the fear of robert, asshole). and they wisely don’t say anything else for the rest of the press meeting.
and then, robert carries on like nothing happened. while flambae will be thinking about this for the next week or so.
Robert is 100% touch starved, however he's also an awkward duck. He doesn't know how to just ask for a hug, he's practiced in the mirror but he's never been able to do it in person.
He tried to hype himself up by staring intently at different teammates, but couldn't get the words out so he would just silently walk away.
(It really freaked out the Z team, he reminded them of a cat the way that he just silently appeared, stared at them intently, and then just disappeared.)
Eventually, he accepts he'll never be able to ask so he comes up with the next best plan.
Sneak attack.
He didn't know who to try first, so he kind of stalked everyone and made a pros and cons list. (This also concerned everyone.)
He was debating between Phenomaman and Flambae, one was very warm, and the other could be easily convinced that this was just an earth thing.
It hadn't mattered, Sonar passed him in the hall in his full bat form. His fur looked very soft, and Robert couldn't resist. He jumped on his back, locking his arms and legs, and said nothing.
Sonar freaked the fuck out, but couldn't actually shake Robert off so he just slowly made his way through the office.
10 minutes later, Robert jumps down, dusts himself off, and leaves. He says nothing and refuses to answer any questions.
Eventually, it becomes pretty common to see a member of the Z-team wearing Robert like a backpack. (Robert was concerned about Prism but decided she's just as strong as everyone else and didn't see a problem.) She didn't have a problem, but there was the risk of ending up on her Instagram.
They figured out that this is how he hugs on their own, Robert still won't answer any questions about it. It's cool though, they like Robert and he's not very heavy.
They've learned that he bites though, but only if you don't share your food.
Chase remembers that Robert would do the same thing with him, Elliot and Robbie growing up. Until Robbie snapped at him then started avoiding his dad like he was infected. Victor just causally walks through the office somedays offering Robert a bite from his donut or sip from his expensive coffee while he hugs his back. Someone offers to call HR on him only for punch up to return that offer with a middle finger and a answer for everyone on z team no. We are getting Robert to eat and drink actually food/ sometimes water. Robert doesn't care about sharing food and drink because of how he grew up if dad brought home food you eat it even if it questionable.
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Ok so I just finished playing Dispatch and I freaking LOVED it! Sooooo I thought it would be fun to combine my two current hyperfixations and make a Hermitcraft Dispatch AU!
Quick overview for those who have never played Dispatch:
In this AU Impulse works as a superhero dispatcher, someone who analyzes a team’s strengths and weaknesses and answers distress calls by the sending the hero most suited to the job. However, he’s been assigned to the Hermit Program, a team of former villains trying to become heroes. To say the least, it’s like trying to herd cats and the office and comm lines are always in chaos when the Hermits show up to work.
More hermits bios incoming to fill out the team roster! :D
crawls on my hands and knees. can we talk more about normal people getting isekai'd into fantasy worlds but they're giant. please. imagine some random person delivering doordash on bike through the city and then WHAM they get hit by a truck and wake up...
the size of a building?
only, there aren't buildings around. just an endless expanse of grass, and tiny trees, and various woodland creatures, and—tiny people screaming up at them. great. maybe they isolate themselves and learn how to survive on their own, ridiculously strong but soul-crushingly lonely as they become an urban legend. maybe they're mistaken for a villain, or drafted into the villain's forces, a tiny weight standing on their shoulder and whispering empty promises of being able to bring them home. maybe they land in a world where giants are commonplace, with dedicated giant hunters to boot, and they're stuck having to fend off anti-giant weapons that...aren't really effective. jeez, how'd you guys even survive this long with this equipment? what do you mean i'm the biggest giant you've ever seen? oh, well. at least some the tiny "heroes" look kind of cute, dangling as their weapons are pinched between two fingers. maybe this whole "giant" thing has some perks, after all
Most homestuck ship I’ve concocted for this fandom ♣️
For me definitely a Robert centric, back and forth triangle sort of relationship. Where Visi and Flambae don’t have much care with each other, romantically, but they do build up a friendship and rapport via the mechanics that is “what the fuck is wrong with this guy”
Flambae’s partly into this cause he likes the ego boost of being annoyingly attractive enough to be a third, but he’s actually there as the valuable needed resource between the two of them: man with credit card and functioning kitchen Because surprise surprise, Robert cares as much for him as he does Visi. Which is an emotional realization he would not equipped to handle I think teehee
I’m especially thinking this as Visi going off on her own for a while post ending, and Flambae is rebound territory, so when she’s back she’s annoyed but also grateful dude kept post ending Robert 1. Alive, and 2. Sane because that dude is like 1 second away from dropping dead or off the deep end at any time.
Also their teaming up on Robert would be funny as hell. No one guesses their in a relationship at first cause they spend 50% of the time on shifts dragging his ass, until they start bringing up oddly specific and intimate details like who didn’t do dishes last night, Robert
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(this is just a concept sketch bc my brain wouldn’t let me sleep till I visualized at least one thing)
hey Robert the warmth is right infront for you u just gotta open ur eyes and embrace it. hey buddy why won’t u open ur eyes
“Concept sketch”?! Wtf does a complete piece look like, then?
This is so good! Mandy and Chase are just enjoying themselves and Robert’s dying in the background. Oh, it’d be comical if it wasn’t so fucking depressing. Which, btw, you’ve captured magnificently. I can feel Robert’s loneliness. He really is an abused shelter dog going to some abandoned corner to pass away peacefully
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