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"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" You are weak as Fuck boy

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

mario is a father figure to many people and sonic the hedghehog is a cousin and donkey kong is an uncle and boo is a ghost and bill is a bullet and petey is a piranaa and metroid is sandmas and snake is solid and luigi wario and waluigi are different parts ofyour own personality

When she's an adult woman and you're mutually attracted to each other

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

you have to be in a certain specific mood to listen to classic rock because sometimes a guy is playing his guitar and you're just like shut the fuck up man

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

everything is a reference when you're crazy

when it wasn't meant to be 🤣🤣 but the potential of possibility still plagues you 🤔