The Void

I’m tired. I’m tired of constantly battling between the promise I made you and the reality you keep shoving in my face. I promised you I’d never leave. I promised I would be different and no matter what you did to me I’d always be there, not like the others who scuttled away the second you huffed in their direciton, but how can I stay when you’ve kicked me out? When you’ve taken back my keys, changed the locks and swapped the doors from glass to steel. What do I do? How do I honor my vow but still respect your decision? How can I stay true to my word when you’ve literally put me in a spot where I cannot. I’m at the mercy of your will and this isn’t fair. You cannot push me away like that and make it look like I didn’t stay true to my word, because all you’re doing is tainting my promises. I don’t like my promises tainted by paint I haven’t approved off. You had no right to put me in a position where I couldn’t fulfill my word, and much less a right to then look at me with eyes that taunted saying “I knew you couldn’t keep your promise.” Of course I couldn’t keep my promise when you decided to change continents and forget to give me a ticket. My word was that I wouldn’t voluntarily abandon you. But I had no choice when you shut me out. So remember this the next time you even have the audacity to blame me for not keeping my promise, it wasn’t me who ran away, it was you. You were the coward that ran.

Sometimes you can cleanse a realm of pain with the scent of home.

We survived. You and I. And those who survive have a duty. Our duty is to do our best to keep on living. Even if our lives are not perfect.